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RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/19/2009 9:43:28 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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Carol doesn't chaff under her collar because I'm not making it my life's work to make her chaff. The commands you have listed seem TO ME, a lot like purchasing an indy race car so that I can drive it to the grocery store once a month to pickup groceries.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to slaveyslave)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/19/2009 12:08:06 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveyslave

... a slave has no choice in what he does once he choices an Owner.



Fantasy nonsense.  If your dominant half decided they were gonna dismember you, I'm guessin' you'd CHOOSE to RUN for the door while you still had the legs to do so.  Everyone has a "choice", pre and post enslavement.



_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to slaveyslave)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/19/2009 1:21:27 PM   
Annabelle83


Posts: 55
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Annabelle, do you tell him you're down and dreary? If not, why not and if you do, does it matter to him? Because if your happiness doesn't matter to him, then that's the problem. But if you need a break to recharge your energy, he needs to know this. Not telling him would be like rigging a cell phone so it said it had full battery all the time, and then being surprised when it died unexpectedly.


I wear my emotions on my sleeve about 90% of the time. Used to be 100% but there are times where stifling emotion is good. But.... he notices. He comments. And if I still dont say something or havent posted in my journal by then, he pointedly asks what is wrong with me. . In fact, there was a huge fight we had because he was under the assumption I was not happy at all, and I had to spend 2 days convincing him I was before he believed me.

What I was trying to say is that everyone has their low points or bad days. Happens with slaves too. :)

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/19/2009 3:42:16 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
No argument there. Part of life, the ups and downs.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Annabelle83)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/20/2009 1:01:59 PM   
steamengine


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/4/2009
Status: offline
quote:

a


Can't say I wish I wasn't a slave, but sure do wish I wasn't submissive.:O

(in reply to slaveyslave)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/20/2009 2:08:39 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
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Ludicrous, and extreme statements such as this, do not disprove the statement you are commenting to. If this were the case, the same statement could be used to disprove that anyone is submissive at all. Not to mention, there are some that would allow extreme things to be done to them, and then the next claim to not accept someone else's dynamic, is to say they are mentally deficient. It is easy to dismiss things that are not understood.

Now take the comment within reason, and any example should be within reason as well.


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveyslave

... a slave has no choice in what he does once he choices an Owner.



Fantasy nonsense.  If your dominant half decided they were gonna dismember you, I'm guessin' you'd CHOOSE to RUN for the door while you still had the legs to do so.  Everyone has a "choice", pre and post enslavement.




_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/20/2009 2:32:46 PM   
porcelaine


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Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

Fantasy nonsense.  If your dominant half decided they were gonna dismember you, I'm guessin' you'd CHOOSE to RUN for the door while you still had the legs to do so.  Everyone has a "choice", pre and post enslavement.


i love it when someone applies their limitations to my reality. maybe in your dynamic the above is true. heaven forbid a difference should exist. furthermore, if the person is exercising the choice as you've indicated it is very probable they are neither internally or externally enslaved.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/20/2009 3:14:43 PM   
Hierodule


Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LittleBigGirl

I see my peers engaging in a lot of things (and having the types of fun) that I could never enjoy. Things I'm not allowed to do. They make it look so appealing that, yes, occasionally I wish I were different.



I had this problem at first. I thought that I wasn't allowed to go out with the girls anymore flirt in a vanilla way with cute guys, participate in the vanilla "scene" that I am a part of etc. etc. Maybe you should talk to your Master about it.

I talked to My Master about it. I told him I was jealous of my girl friends and their freedom sometimes. He explained that my happiness and well being are his responsibility. If I see something appealing that I would like to participate in I simply have to ask him if i can participate. If it doesn't harm me he usually says yes. If he says no its for a reason and he explains it to me.

But he also enjoys watching me with other people and doesn't require me to be monogamous with him only that I ask his permission. That might be rare in an M/s relationship. I'm not sure, this is my first (and hopefully last and only) one. As long as I remember who I belong to, and the vanilla guys know they can't touch me without his permission he is fine with it. In fact he desires and requires that I "shine" in all social situations. But it may be different with us. There isn't really anything I'm not allowed to do (besides converse with single male doms on this site lol). I just have to respect his authority over my life in every way. Permission is granted on a case by case basis.

< Message edited by Hierodule -- 10/20/2009 3:16:08 PM >

(in reply to LittleBigGirl)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/20/2009 3:26:41 PM   
ishyB


Posts: 555
Joined: 9/2/2008
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quote:


Question is do any other TPE slaves sometime wish they were not slave?

Yes, usually when I'm mad, frustrated or lonely.

Master usually makes me feel better by reminding me that he doesn't give a fuck about what I want, and that he will demand my service to be exquisite regardless of my desire to be his at said times.

quote:


Ever been sleeping on the floor and wish you could be in a nice warm bed?

Actually, more the other way around…

I sleep in a queen size bed in what Master calls “the kennel” in the basement. Not for my own comfort, but for Master’s comfort should he wish to make use of me. He is married, and of course his wife, not me, sleeps in his bed. On rare occasions, we have so many visitors spending the night that the bed I’m allowed to use is confiscated for their guests’ use. On such instances, I sleep on the hardwood floor next to Master’s bed and I love it.
It is a rare treat for me to be allowed to sleep so close to him, and I would trade in the bed on any night for a spot on the floor besides his bed.

quote:


Ever wish you could cum anytime you wanted?

Yes

quote:


Ever wish you could pee without permission?

Yes, especially when both Master and Mistress are busy, and I do not wish to bother them, or when they have company over, especially when it is vanilla company, seeing that I can hardly embarrass them in front of their guests by asking then. This means I wait, which can become uncomfortable at times.

I actually found a way around the problem, sort of…
Their dogs do a little spin/chasing their tails when they need to be let outside. Once, when Mistress had company over and I really couldn’t wait, I did the same from a distance. She understood and nodded. It made things more comfortable, because it is less intrusive than having to go ask. I do not feel like I am ‘bothering’ them as much, so I do not mind asking as much anymore.

quote:


and so on?


I miss drinking my coffee the way I like it, and when I like it.

I miss taking baths instead of showers.

I miss being able to snack when I’m hungry.

I miss being able to explain my intentions when there is a miscommunication, instead of apologizing for misinterpretations of how I feel.

I miss buying/wearing clothes that I like and feel comfortable in.

I miss being outgoing, extrovert, outspoken and opinionated.

I miss dyeing my hair blond.

I miss listening to music all the time, and when I do get to hear music, I miss listening to my style of music.

I miss being able to relax, and enjoy what I’m doing –even if that happens to be chores- and not having the constant fear of being “too slow” or not getting enough done by the end of the day to be considered satisfactory.

I miss sleeping in on weekends… or at least I miss the time when I didn’t consider 9 AM to be “sleeping in”.

quote:

it is easy for a slave to lose sight of his goals become selfish. Keeping those selfish thoughts out of his head is part of the self-discipline required to be a slave. Being Owned is a gift always thank You for reminding me of that.


I do not consider being owned to be a gift. Like porcelain said, he never 'gave' me his ownership, instead, it's something I try to work for every single day by trying to prove to him that there are more benefits than there are costs to keeping me around. Just like I did not "gave" him my obedience or submission, instead, he inspires that from me by being the man that he is. Some days I work better than others. Some days he inspires more submission and obedience from me than others, but neither of us ever tries to do the other's job.

I don't consider it to be my job not to be selfish, nor do am I required to keep myself in the right mindset by being self disciplined. Those things are Master's job to ensure I do.
What I am required to do is let him know what I am struggling with, or feeling frustrated about. Sometimes doing this is very hard to me, because I do not want to “bother” him with my small issues, or behave in a manner unbecoming to my statue. When I do go to him with my fears, doubts and struggles, he generally quickly erases my frustration. Not by giving into them, but by reminding me of my proper place and mindset and my devotion to him, which still overrides even the worse frustration I ever have to deal with.

I wish you well,

ishy





< Message edited by ishyB -- 10/20/2009 3:38:56 PM >


_____________________________

I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
and I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I wanted to move on
So I'm already gone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoJFn_RIdkg

(in reply to slaveyslave)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/20/2009 4:30:10 PM   
Hierodule


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Wow. I can have my coffee anyway I like it. The important thing is that I know how to fix HIS the way HE likes it. I am either not a slave or I am a very very lucky one. I guess I must be a slave because thats what he calls me but reading this thread makes me realize what I have is very different.

I'm not allowed to say "no" to him but he rarely asks me to do something that I would have a problem doing. I mean do I really like ironing? No, but is it so hard to do that I hate my life becasue it is required of me? Heck no! Not being able to listen to they type of music I like would make me depressed though. I would NOT be happy that way.

Man am I glad there are different flavors and shades and desires out there. I am happy that people find happiness with each other. Even if I would not be happy in the same situation.

(in reply to ishyB)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/20/2009 5:05:43 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine
i love it when someone applies their limitations to my reality. maybe in your dynamic the above is true. heaven forbid a difference should exist. furthermore, if the person is exercising the choice as you've indicated it is very probable they are neither internally or externally enslaved.
If you're suggesting that you dont' consider someone properly enslaved unless they would, in fact, obey a murderous command... well... I was thinking we were discussing non psycopaths here. ouch...


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/20/2009 5:11:19 PM   
ishyB


Posts: 555
Joined: 9/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

Wow. I can have my coffee anyway I like it. The important thing is that I know how to fix HIS the way HE likes it. I am either not a slave or I am a very very lucky one. I guess I must be a slave because thats what he calls me but reading this thread makes me realize what I have is very different.

I'm not allowed to say "no" to him but he rarely asks me to do something that I would have a problem doing. I mean do I really like ironing? No, but is it so hard to do that I hate my life becasue it is required of me? Heck no! Not being able to listen to they type of music I like would make me depressed though. I would NOT be happy that way.

Man am I glad there are different flavors and shades and desires out there. I am happy that people find happiness with each other. Even if I would not be happy in the same situation.


Greetings Hierodule,

Just to clarify, I do not think that any of the rules I mentioned are *needed* to make a slave. They are in place for *me* personally, because of Master's personal preferences.
He prefers things the way he prefers them for a number of reasons, that can and sometimes do change over time, nor would he keep every girl the same way.
One thing about these rules though is that, even though it might not seem like that to outsiders (and sometimes not even to me), there's a reason for all of them. They are not in place simple because he likes to be a dick and make my life miserable (though that too is the objective sometimes, just not on a continuous basis.)

For instance, the thing about the music, which IS one of the hardest to bare, is this way right now because my I-pod broke and Master and Mistress absolutely cannot stand the music I listen to. (They like country and 70s music; I listen to hard electronics, house, techno, industrial and metal...)
On the rare occasions I am home alone, one of the first thing I'll do is put open my speakers wide, and they do not mind it then... as long as it's not playing when they get back.
It's been mentioned that -IF my behavior is good enough- there *might* be a new MP3 player for me under the Christmas three. And as to why not sooner than that... I'm afraid Master seems to think that I need to learn to have some patience some times, and realize that I can't have everything I want right now, just because I want it... You'd think that one was obvious to a slave girl, but in my case, sometimes it's not. *blushes*

The fact that I know there are reasons why I am kept the way that I am make it generally more bearable... though not always...

I wish you well,

ishy


_____________________________

I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
and I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I wanted to move on
So I'm already gone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoJFn_RIdkg

(in reply to Hierodule)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/20/2009 6:56:12 PM   
Hierodule


Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline
Thank You Ishy,

It sounds like you are truly happy. And I wish you more and more of the same!

(in reply to ishyB)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/20/2009 7:27:06 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
1. Person X states, "a slave has no choice" once they are owned.

2. Person Y states, "Everyone has a 'choice', pre and post enslavement."

3. Person Z somehow makes the illogical leap that stating "Everyone has a 'choice', pre and post enslavement", somehow disproves "anyone is submissive at all"?!!  A silly leap.

FACT:  Both subs and slaves on these boards have stated they have left their respective Tops, Masters, Doms/Dommes, Owners, or whatever from time for whatever reason; which means... <get ready for this>... EVERYONE HAS A CHOICE... PRE AND POST ENSLAVEMENT AND/OR OWNERSHIP!!!

Thus, your position, which apparently disagrees that slaves still have a choice to leave following enslavement or ownership, has clearly been proven WRONG time and time and time and time again through R-E-A-L-I-T-Y.  Your fantasy doesn't discount reality; which has proven your position MORE than wrong. Any slave can leave anytime, and many do.  That's a FACT.

If you're so sure that slaves can't leave following enslavement, then can I look forward to any future posts you may make to a slave that is not happy in their dynamic stating, "You're a slave, so you better find a way to be happy because you KNOW you can't leave -- not ever!!!"  Is that what we can expect to read from you?  Because that's exactly what you're stating here by disagreeing that a slave still has a CHOICE to leave, if they so desire.

Seriously... you're actually stating that someone who, under the guise of BDSM and who self-identifies as a "slave", has NO CHOICE to EVER leave once they've agreed to be owned.  You're seriously going to take this position?!!



quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

If this were the case, the same statement could be used to disprove that anyone is submissive at all.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveyslave

... a slave has no choice in what he does once he choices an Owner.



Fantasy nonsense.  If your dominant half decided they were gonna dismember you, I'm guessin' you'd CHOOSE to RUN for the door while you still had the legs to do so.  Everyone has a "choice", pre and post enslavement.





< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 10/20/2009 8:03:45 PM >


_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/20/2009 8:08:18 PM   
alittleevil


Posts: 235
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveyslave

Question is do any other TPE slaves sometime wish they were not slave?
Ever been sleeping on the floor and wish you could be in a nice warm bed?
Ever wish you could cum anytime you wanted?
Ever wish you could pee without permission?
and so on?

i would like to know what you miss about your life before you became a slave.


Hello,

Like kyra said:  "To wish that I were not his slave, is to wish that I was not in a relationship with him and I can't see myself ever wishing for that to happen."

Sometimes i have wished to not have the psychological attributes that make me best-suited for slavery, but that's mostly because it might have spared other people a little bit of frustration, and worse, along the way. (Alternatively i wish i could have been recognized a lot younger than i was.)

None of  the examples given are particularly burdensome to me--they are either irrelevant or inapplicable, and honestly, Master isn't much into the smaller things: my obligations are to serve, to obey and to be pleasant to be around. But, there are days...like those days that being out in stores is very hard on me: Every person is a potential threat, every bing, beep and trill  is an assault and all i want to be able to do is put my head down, zone out, get through my shopping list and get out as quickly as possible. Of course these are the days that Master wants to browse in a leisurely fashion, and expects me to pay attention too, so that by the time we're done, i am literally holding onto myself so that i don't fly to pieces.  Yes, on those types of days i sincerely wish i could just say "Look, please, honey, this isn't a good day for me for this, let's just get what we need and go." I can't.  Well, i could (minus the "honey" part!), but that would be beyond the scope of what is generally expected of me and there might be consequences i would find even less pleasant than shopping. Yes, on those days, i have some fond thoughts of the days when i could follow my own feelings and whims.

But, i have also been kept by another, who was in fact more inclined to have very strict requirements along the lines of the examples you gave and yet who would have been more....hmmm...sympathetic to my bouts of capital A anxiety.  The difference? The men. The individuals.  What was/is expected of me and what determines/d my slavery to each had little to do with my expectations of what life with them would be like and everything to do with  them.  Which is just a long winded way of saying that i truly hope you don't have a preset idea of what the fine details of a "perfect 24/7 TPE relationship" will be, because that can risk trying too hard to place one's visions of "perfect" onto your future Master and in doing so, getting in your own way.

Wishing you well,
aj


_____________________________

Throw me to the wolves because there's order in the pack (RHCP)

(in reply to slaveyslave)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/20/2009 8:09:59 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

If you're suggesting that you dont' consider someone properly enslaved unless they would, in fact, obey a murderous command... well... I was thinking we were discussing non psycopaths here. ouch...


at that point it is possible the person won't ask but act. we'll have to discuss the psychopath thing sometime.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/20/2009 8:14:14 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ishyB

For instance, the thing about the music, which IS one of the hardest to bare, is this way right now because my I-pod broke and Master and Mistress absolutely cannot stand the music I listen to. (They like country and 70s music; I listen to hard electronics, house, techno, industrial and metal...)


oy i feel for you! *shudders* no metal would have me seriously crab apple. i'd have to find an outlet for certain. i hope a new player finds its way under the tree.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to ishyB)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/21/2009 4:45:00 AM   
ishyB


Posts: 555
Joined: 9/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

FACT:  Both subs and slaves on these boards have stated they have left their respective Tops, Masters, Doms/Dommes, Owners, or whatever from time for whatever reason; which means... <get ready for this>... EVERYONE HAS A CHOICE... PRE AND POST ENSLAVEMENT AND/OR OWNERSHIP!!!

Thus, your position, which apparently disagrees that slaves still have a choice to leave following enslavement or ownership, has clearly been proven WRONG time and time and time and time again through R-E-A-L-I-T-Y.  Your fantasy doesn't discount reality; which has proven your position MORE than wrong. Any slave can leave anytime, and many do.  That's a FACT.



Greetings MasterSlaveLA,

May I suggest to you that you make a leap in logic with this statement?

All that is proven by the fact that some people who self-identify as "slaves" leave their "owners" is that at the very least some people are able to do so. However, this path of logic in NO way proves that all people who self-identify as "slaves" are able to do so.
On the contrary... if some people who self-identify as slaves would not be able to leave their "owner" they could never in any possible way be represented in the group that did leave their "owner".

If all wonkers are plonkers, and some plonkers are zonkers...
This doesn't mean that all wonkers are zonkers...

As to my personal belief on if a self-identified "slave" can leave its "owner"...

I know that through the history of mankind, there have been many reported cases of people who have for a whole range of reasons been unable to leave their relationships, or have felt like they were unable to leave their relationships.
Think about Stockholm-syndrome, or some reports of abusive relationships, arranged marriages with family pressure, low-income families where one of the spouses have no income, and so on...
Now while in all these cases, the subject might have the legal right to make the choice to leave, there seemingly still seems to be something that keeps some "trapped" in these relationships, while in similar circumstances, other people can easily make the choice to exercise their legal right to leave.
It is my suggestion that those people who do not leave, do so out of more than just the choice not to exercise their legal right. Instead, they often feel on a physiological level that they are physically unable to make that choice.

Now I am not stating here that self-identified "slavery" is the same thing as an abusive relationship, I do however wish to suggest that IF it is possible that some people can be psychologically "trapped" in a certain relationship, that that same thing seemingly would be possible with other people in different relationships.

Self-identified "slaves" surely will always remain the legal right to leave. But at the same time, it is possible to bring certain human beings into a mindset were they feel unable to exercise their legal rights. This can happen either with a willing or unwilling subject, under the right circumstances.
Now if the "owner" would be unable to maintain this mindset in the self-identified "slave" and the subject would once again feel like they had the possibility to exercise their legal rights, you would be right, they would most certainly legal be able to choose to leave.
But as long as the "owner" can maintain the "slave" in a mindset were they feel they are unable to exercise legal rights -regardless of the validly of that statement- the "slave" would not be able to leave.

I wish you well,

ishy


< Message edited by ishyB -- 10/21/2009 4:48:29 AM >


_____________________________

I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
and I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I wanted to move on
So I'm already gone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoJFn_RIdkg

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/21/2009 5:27:56 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline
I have only read some of the posts on the first page. I am not going to answer the specific questions of actions a Master may or may not take and whether or not i had wished to not do them because within the course of my slavery there were days i wanted to do things i was supposed to, days i didn't, days i did it automatically, and days i tried to get out of it. But i do believe that realistically if one lives as a slave there are times, maybe not DAYS so to speak when slaves wish they could take back some of their own self-determination.

When i was a slave, there were simply days i was TIRED of having to do whatever the bloody hell HE wanted or face the consequences of his determination. Yes, there were days i didn't want to have my life determined by another. There were days i didn't LIKE him very much.

Were these wishes concepts of I WANT THIS TO BE FOREVER-- no. BUt yeah, as a slave god forbid lol i had instances when i wished i could have back my autonomy and self-determination -- no, not forever. The underlying concept was, i enjoyed being his and being a slave was GOOD for me, doesn't mean i didn't have days when i wanted to smack him upside his head for being an ass, or simply wanted to say enough and go do whatever it was I wanted to do. This also didn't mean there weren't days where i seriously felt i knew what was BEST for US/me and him and the family. Due to my very ummm passionate nature lol ..... It honestly amazes me when i hear women say they NEVER have any remotely bad or negative feelings while being a slave. grins, this makes me want to poke them to see if there is an on/off button. I am a very emotional person so usually everything i feel somehow is expressed and my Master demanded they be expressed -- so i was not curtailed into being reserved with what people deem negative emotions such as my temper from hell, or frustration or such including my joy, excitement and craziness lol. So yeah, the days i felt i wished it was different, it was part and parcel to being allowed to feel such a thing and not feel as if i was somehow being disloyal to him or guilty because of how i was feeling. I felt secure in knowing the decision wasn't mine, and because he knew me so well -- better than i knew myself actually -- he wasn't worried when i was having a bad day lol. Which was great for me because when i am in that type of mood, i need more than every HIS determination and strength for his course, cause i am usually my own worse enemy and out of spite or whatnot would make a bad choice during those times lol. He knew he wouldn't let me go -- so on those days he didn't even bother with the feigned well you can go if you want concept. But being allowed to express my feelings also helped us get to the root of issues a hell of a lot faster than if i was reserved and hid them in fear he OR i would feel as if i was somehow being disloyal to him for my thoughts.

All in all, yes -- there were times i wished the extreme of i wished i was not a slave -- However, there were times i loved the extreme of being utterly and completely owned and master. But mostly, i simply lived life which was my being his slave -- the good, the bad, and the ugly. And it was okay. On the ugly days i didn't feel as if i wasn't his slave, on the bad days i didn't feel guilty if i felt like i would be better without him rather than with him, and on the good days i didn't feel as if i were more or less his slave than the other days. It was simply life and in anyone's life -- there are times and days when you wish.... it doesn't mean you actually want.

Slaves are human, we have all the emotions, and intelligence of well people in general, we all are different in personality and ways of dealing with things. SO my best guestimation is MOST if not ALL slaves have some TIME when they are tired or fed up or simply wanting a change so they have that little devil going -- don't you wish you were NOT a slave today.

And you know what, its IS okay. Masters are a little stronger than most people think and something like this would not strip him of his security and control of his slave where he is devestated she may not want to be A slave for a time a day a minute whatnot.


angel

_____________________________


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


(in reply to ishyB)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave - 10/21/2009 6:41:57 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline
There are lots of things that are naf and still need to be done, whether you are a slave, a housewife, a husband or a Master... and everybody else...

Sometimes i do miss the freedom of responsibilities i had when i was young, but then i did not understand how free i truly was and now i do value my life experiences way more than i would lust after my long gone youth with all its insecurities...

When i wish to be another for a while i like to read books... perfect escapism...

ETA  i am not a just a slave, i am an uber slave; i am a house wife
(just joking, i'm sub thas all)

< Message edited by ranja -- 10/21/2009 6:50:13 AM >

(in reply to slaveyslave)
Profile   Post #: 60
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