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ORIGINAL: cillydom

and this point was written so subbies could have something to keep in mind when they are looking at someone for heavy play

are they in control

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Once at a play party in which I didn’t take much part a bottom came up to me and said she had wanted to see me in action, she didn’t seem to understand my answer that there wouldn’t have been much to see , as much of what I do is communicative. Just talking to her can be more dominating than the hardest spanking, but this usually works only with a submissive you have an emotional attachment to.

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ORIGINAL: cillydom

which dosnt change my origional point in the essay, the subbie has to be certain of is he in control of himself

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If not in control he may go too far with disastrous consequences.

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ORIGINAL: cillydom

but some subbies prefer the sadistic pain approach, and for them his control of himself is importent

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ORIGINAL: cillydom

actualy it delt with motive and self control and what the subbie should be aware of

it was written with a particular subbie in mind and her needs

but it is general enough to apply to many subbies in similar circumstances

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ORIGINAL: cillydom

your talking about facts pertaining to human sexual expression like it's quantifiable

and some comments were mean spirited

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ORIGINAL: cillydom

A submissive that enjoys heavy play should be aware of this when seeking a dominant and the consequences a dominants love could have either way. She may be placing her fate in the hands of someone that may loose control.

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As he is the one in control of her he first has to be in control of himself. If not in control he may go too far with disastrous consequences. A submissive that enjoys heavy play should be aware of this when seeking a dominant and the consequences a dominants love could have either way. She may be placing her fate in the hands of someone that may loose control.

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ORIGINAL: cillydom

A mildly sadistic man can be fun, a madly sadistic man can be fatal.


Sadist, someone that obtains pleasure from inflicting pain on others

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ORIGINAL: cillydom

the whole essay is about an intense level of d/s

reading it any other way it looses something

it's quite apparent in the reading

and the second is from the dictionary

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ORIGINAL: cillydom

the whole essay is about an intense level of d/s

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

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ORIGINAL: cillydom

the whole essay is about an intense level of d/s

Actually what you've been talking about recently is sadism and masochism- nothing at all about Ds.

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First a d/s relationship is just that, a relationship, it can begin and fail just like any other relationship and for much the same reasons.

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It takes a dominant that understands the d/s dynamic and comes to understand his submissive to make it work.

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Her motivations are more important than her likes or dislikes of the moment, what does she really want out of the relationship? Is it just the kinky sex or a relationship that includes kinky sex? Understanding the submissives mind will enable the dominant to fulfill his desires and use her to the fullest extent possible.

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Compromises are a key determinant in the success or failure of any relationship. The question is who makes the greatest compromise

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Which is not to say there is no compromise on his part but rather that his primary desires remain intact. After all we’re dealing with real life here. Some seem to not realize that.

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it is much the same way for submissive women, to enjoy having been made to do something more than the act itself, a real sign of submissiveness.

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Would I tell a women I would respect her limits, “no”. Would I ever force something on her that I felt she really couldn’t handle, “no”.

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Would I try to get her to the point that she could, “absolutely”.

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To me d/s is what we are, not what we do. What we do is sometimes kinky sex, sometimes not. Even in our most relaxed moments we are still d/s. D/s is primarily a state of mind.

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If submission is surrender then she should surrender to his desires and put her desires aside.

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that if I’m in control that I’m morally responsible for what I desire and she is blameless for her actions while under my control.

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After all a good dominant does take advantage of her desire to please

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Safety in a d/s relationship is primarily the dominants responsibility as he is in control.

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Maturity and caring in a dominant are more important than so called years of experience and all the safe words that can be imagined.

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If the dream is to be taken control of then what good is her list?

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would a very submissive woman really want a dominant that didn’t push her to fulfill his most cherished desires

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Early on the submissive woman should realize that she will have to sacrifice her body to the desires of her dominant

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The first intimacy is the physical intimacy. The unrestricted access and use by the dominant of his submissives body for his enjoyment. That is one of the reasons the submissive is there. She should be prepared at all times to submit to his touch, inspection and use and to posture herself to his desires. He may reenforce this state of her being by often having her assume poses and postures that open her up to his view and touch. He should do so without undue ridicule of her body, making her uncomfortable at opening herself up. This is not to say that she may not be humiliated but that personal mean spirited attacks should be avoided.

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The second and ultimate intimacy is that of thought and emotion, the seeing inside her. The thoughts and emotions of the very submissive woman yearn to be set free and absorbed by her dominant. She wants to keep no secrets from him, she wants to be completely open to him, for him to know her better than she knows herself

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For the dominant to extract his desires from his submissive he cant be overly concerned with displaying respect for her

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After all he’s going to use her in ways he would never try with women to whom he had to socially show respect. The submissive woman doesn’t want an overly hesitant dominant always afraid he’s hurting her feelings.

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The fear of losing the d/s relationship and being set adrift helps drive her to obedience. It is one of the most powerful weapons that her dominant has over her.

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ORIGINAL: SpaceForMore











This style of cd's has not bothered me any, because i disregard his dismissive style and savor much of the treasure he delivers. For example, I did not find objectionable his description of the conflict between thinking-woman and submissive woman. I loved the drama he presented there, hated thinking woman, and loved submissive woman.

It made perfect sense to me that the dom and the sub woman would collude and try to demolish thinking woman. I would similarly expect that people who would put their brain on hold in many situations so as to serve a master ("he knows best"), who without objection think of themselves as fuckTOYS on many occastions, and savor this, would identify themselves with the submissive woman and hate thinking woman.
SFM