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RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 9:06:29 AM   
devilishpixie


Posts: 1044
Joined: 10/15/2009
Status: offline 		My master and I are very much in love-and more so every day. The idea that me being over weight could put all of that at risk is sobering, down right frightening, and hurts more than any of the other obesity realities.

I know that in my heart he would never leave me because I’m fat. But being over weight has a real impact on our relationship, mostly because of the impact that the effects have on me. The reality is at my present state of being, I can’t do or be everything that I want to be / do with my master. He is a very active man, he loves to work out, and stay active. My inclination as of late is almost the exact opposite. Weather it’s because of my medication, depression or the shame I feel, my attitude frustrates me. The reality is if this trend continues he will get frustrated with me and we would begin to have major issues over it.

Neither of us is going to let it get there, we’re good at keeping the line of communication open. I don’t have the experience working out that he does, so when he starts talking about his work out routines or goals I feel insecure at time and ashamed so I stay quiet. I really don’t know what to say. But we manage to get through it and I tend to learn something from the conversation and he feels supported. Our relationship is not at risk - but the fact that I am not- or maybe can not be- everything that he needs right now, is humbling.

Being over weight affects other aspects too, I wont get into gory details. But the mechanics of some sexual positions simply are uncomfortable and out right painful because of the excess weight. My stamina is below average and far less than his. I’m not as flexible as I would like to be. I’m not comfortable being naked and I don’t see myself as attractive in bed by any stretch of the imagination.

Plus the reality is if I don’t get this weight of I will die sooner than he will. My risks of diabetes is high, of heart attack, of strokes.

We just found other and I owe it to him, to our children (his and mine) to do what I can to live a long healthy life. So I have asked him to help me work out on a normal basis, to help keep me motivated and to push me when I need that push. He is wonderful about it and has helped me more than he probably realizes. I feel like when I am working out I am accomplishing something for myself, for him, for my children and for our future. I don’t know if I will ever be a Barbie or if I even want that but I know with his help and support I can reach my goals.

< Message edited by devilishpixie -- 11/9/2009 9:34:59 AM >

(in reply to DemonKia)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 9:13:16 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

I am seriously addicted to diet coke, its my stress releaver and as soon as i get stressed i start obsessing about it, wanting (i initially typed needing it lol but that is not true) it etc. It will get to the point that if i don't have any at home and didn't stop at the store, i would order pizza just to get the diet coke and then would end up eating the pizza. Once i get the diet coke addiction under control, i usually have to go cold turkey and like above i keep making excuses as there's always tomorrow to start or once i finish this bottle.
a suggestion...give yourself permission to have all the diet coke you want, but make a promise that before you pop a top you will drink a 12oz glass of water. It might make a huge difference.

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Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 9:18:40 AM   
devilishpixie


Posts: 1044
Joined: 10/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

I am seriously addicted to diet coke, its my stress releaver and as soon as i get stressed i start obsessing about it, wanting (i initially typed needing it lol but that is not true) it etc. It will get to the point that if i don't have any at home and didn't stop at the store, i would order pizza just to get the diet coke and then would end up eating the pizza. Once i get the diet coke addiction under control, i usually have to go cold turkey and like above i keep making excuses as there's always tomorrow to start or once i finish this bottle.
a suggestion...give yourself permission to have all the diet coke you want, but make a promise that before you pop a top you will drink a 12oz glass of water. It might make a huge difference.



I recently found out that I was seriously addicted to soda and had to be taken off while my doctor monitored me. I tried going told turkey and got horrible migrains and mood changes. It took about 3 wks but now I am down to 2 a day vs. 24 every 2 days. My doctor had me water down my tea, coffee, and soda.

< Message edited by devilishpixie -- 11/9/2009 9:28:47 AM >

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 9:19:24 AM   
purepleasure


Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

I am seriously addicted to diet coke, its my stress releaver and as soon as i get stressed i start obsessing about it, wanting (i initially typed needing it lol but that is not true) it etc. It will get to the point that if i don't have any at home and didn't stop at the store, i would order pizza just to get the diet coke and then would end up eating the pizza. Once i get the diet coke addiction under control, i usually have to go cold turkey and like above i keep making excuses as there's always tomorrow to start or once i finish this bottle.
a suggestion...give yourself permission to have all the diet coke you want, but make a promise that before you pop a top you will drink a 12oz glass of water. It might make a huge difference.

Think about filling your glass with ice CUBES as well, so that water will indirectly still be the bulk of your beverage, and yet allow enough diet coke in the glass to satisfy the craving.

_____________________________

Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 9:21:06 AM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

I am seriously addicted to diet coke, its my stress releaver and as soon as i get stressed i start obsessing about it, wanting (i initially typed needing it lol but that is not true) it etc. It will get to the point that if i don't have any at home and didn't stop at the store, i would order pizza just to get the diet coke and then would end up eating the pizza. Once i get the diet coke addiction under control, i usually have to go cold turkey and like above i keep making excuses as there's always tomorrow to start or once i finish this bottle.
a suggestion...give yourself permission to have all the diet coke you want, but make a promise that before you pop a top you will drink a 12oz glass of water. It might make a huge difference.



That's a good idea. My downfall is sugar and someone else said this already, but on days I work out more vigorously I allow myself a little bit more of that sugar/ chocolate.


I also hide things from myself because every once in awhile I go on a bad frenzy and tear the cupboards apart looking for chocolate it's like a little mini SURPRISE and I get a treat, but don't over indulge.

_____________________________

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book - Unknown

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 12:00:15 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: impishlilhellcat


quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

I am seriously addicted to diet coke, its my stress releaver and as soon as i get stressed i start obsessing about it, wanting (i initially typed needing it lol but that is not true) it etc. It will get to the point that if i don't have any at home and didn't stop at the store, i would order pizza just to get the diet coke and then would end up eating the pizza. Once i get the diet coke addiction under control, i usually have to go cold turkey and like above i keep making excuses as there's always tomorrow to start or once i finish this bottle.
a suggestion...give yourself permission to have all the diet coke you want, but make a promise that before you pop a top you will drink a 12oz glass of water. It might make a huge difference.



That's a good idea. My downfall is sugar and someone else said this already, but on days I work out more vigorously I allow myself a little bit more of that sugar/ chocolate.


I also hide things from myself because every once in awhile I go on a bad frenzy and tear the cupboards apart looking for chocolate it's like a little mini SURPRISE and I get a treat, but don't over indulge.


Yep, it is a good idea...I am also a frustration and comfort eater at times....however, during one involvement with one guy last year I lost 12 kg between september and december with just reducing chocolate and coke to once a week...over the time I even did not like the taste for coke anymore and only finished it off as I know that I used to like it...so at some weeks I then did not buy it in the first place. Was an amazing experience for me...we also had the agreement to try to drink 2 liter water per day...not coke, not juice, nope water pure...I managed this often as I simply had my 2liter water bottle anyway and aimed to have it empty in the evening.

In general I used to be slim until my early 20s as my family always was active with skiing in winter, bike tours in the summer and attending to many sports clubs in the evening...however, after my first apprenticeship my work environment wasn't great and I felt the need to focus even harder on work and to neglect my sport (I used to go to sport 3-5 evenings a week at that time)...and from there I lost the track to it but aim to get back to it once my studies are over (I do have my nintendo wii as well, to get a little bit back to it but something always crawls up once I have time and even space in my chaotic flat to do it, such as a severe cold or my tooth extraction or my knee flares up...something is always at the moment, once I would be able to do it).

But apart from that I lost once 18kg in one year (in 2000) when I was just not eating after 6pm. So ate and drink all what I usually did but after having dinner around 6pm that was it....in case I got hungry I had something light such as yoghurt or a tomato or apple or so...

At the moment I started with the lemon-detox programme which works fine for me (though I have days where I don't comply properly to it when simply my essay hassle gets too much or when I am need something to wake up more - e.g. when I am at placement after my nightshift then I sometimes need my sugar boost when I have to attend a meeting). That one I want to keep doing for the next while and try to do it rigorously about one week per month the next while...I lost 5kg since I am on it but of course would have succeeded more if I would not do night shifts and if I could cope better when I am stressed out. Nevertheless, I like it and got used to the taste and aim to shred 20kg by between March-May next year when I potentially meet Mr. A again (not just because of him, as it does not bother him, but meeting him then again does help a bit in regards to staying motivated).

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 11/9/2009 12:01:54 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to impishlilhellcat)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 12:01:50 PM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: devilishpixie

My master and I are very much in love-and more so every day. The idea that me being over weight could put all of that at risk is sobering, down right frightening, and hurts more than any of the other obesity realities.

I know that in my heart he would never leave me because I’m fat. But being over weight has a real impact on our relationship, mostly because of the impact that the effects have on me. The reality is at my present state of being, I can’t do or be everything that I want to be / do with my master. He is a very active man, he loves to work out, and stay active. My inclination as of late is almost the exact opposite. Weather it’s because of my medication, depression or the shame I feel, my attitude frustrates me. The reality is if this trend continues he will get frustrated with me and we would begin to have major issues over it.

Neither of us is going to let it get there, we’re good at keeping the line of communication open. I don’t have the experience working out that he does, so when he starts talking about his work out routines or goals I feel insecure at time and ashamed so I stay quiet. I really don’t know what to say. But we manage to get through it and I tend to learn something from the conversation and he feels supported. Our relationship is not at risk - but the fact that I am not- or maybe can not be- everything that he needs right now, is humbling.

Being over weight affects other aspects too, I wont get into gory details. But the mechanics of some sexual positions simply are uncomfortable and out right painful because of the excess weight. My stamina is below average and far less than his. I’m not as flexible as I would like to be. I’m not comfortable being naked and I don’t see myself as attractive in bed by any stretch of the imagination.

Plus the reality is if I don’t get this weight of I will die sooner than he will. My risks of diabetes is high, of heart attack, of strokes.

We just found other and I owe it to him, to our children (his and mine) to do what I can to live a long healthy life. So I have asked him to help me work out on a normal basis, to help keep me motivated and to push me when I need that push. He is wonderful about it and has helped me more than he probably realizes. I feel like when I am working out I am accomplishing something for myself, for him, for my children and for our future. I don’t know if I will ever be a Barbie or if I even want that but I know with his help and support I can reach my goals.


Too bad we don't live close to each other. We could workout together.

_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to devilishpixie)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 12:26:50 PM   
devilishpixie


Posts: 1044
Joined: 10/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

quote:

ORIGINAL: devilishpixie

My master and I are very much in love-and more so every day. The idea that me being over weight could put all of that at risk is sobering, down right frightening, and hurts more than any of the other obesity realities.

I know that in my heart he would never leave me because I’m fat. But being over weight has a real impact on our relationship, mostly because of the impact that the effects have on me. The reality is at my present state of being, I can’t do or be everything that I want to be / do with my master. He is a very active man, he loves to work out, and stay active. My inclination as of late is almost the exact opposite. Weather it’s because of my medication, depression or the shame I feel, my attitude frustrates me. The reality is if this trend continues he will get frustrated with me and we would begin to have major issues over it.

Neither of us is going to let it get there, we’re good at keeping the line of communication open. I don’t have the experience working out that he does, so when he starts talking about his work out routines or goals I feel insecure at time and ashamed so I stay quiet. I really don’t know what to say. But we manage to get through it and I tend to learn something from the conversation and he feels supported. Our relationship is not at risk - but the fact that I am not- or maybe can not be- everything that he needs right now, is humbling.

Being over weight affects other aspects too, I wont get into gory details. But the mechanics of some sexual positions simply are uncomfortable and out right painful because of the excess weight. My stamina is below average and far less than his. I’m not as flexible as I would like to be. I’m not comfortable being naked and I don’t see myself as attractive in bed by any stretch of the imagination.

Plus the reality is if I don’t get this weight of I will die sooner than he will. My risks of diabetes is high, of heart attack, of strokes.

We just found other and I owe it to him, to our children (his and mine) to do what I can to live a long healthy life. So I have asked him to help me work out on a normal basis, to help keep me motivated and to push me when I need that push. He is wonderful about it and has helped me more than he probably realizes. I feel like when I am working out I am accomplishing something for myself, for him, for my children and for our future. I don’t know if I will ever be a Barbie or if I even want that but I know with his help and support I can reach my goals.


Too bad we don't live close to each other. We could workout together.



That would be awsome VP that is a wonderful motivator and makes it alot funner than working out alone.

(in reply to VirginPotty)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 12:36:20 PM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		Any Rec Center's near you?

_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to devilishpixie)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 1:27:56 PM   
devilishpixie


Posts: 1044
Joined: 10/15/2009
Status: offline 		No there aren't.

(in reply to VirginPotty)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 2:17:17 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CyberMaster4u

I feel if a person is happy with who they are then why should they change that to become the stereotypical "model" image that is portrayed by most media?



Okay, that made me laugh right out loud.  Becoming a stereotypical model image is not a danger for most of us, I would wager.  Certainly not me!

Cali


_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 3:22:33 PM   
purepleasure


Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		heh, me either Cali, but I would really like to get under 215 lbs.


taking my own advice... patience, grasshopper.

_____________________________

Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 3:26:27 PM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: CyberMaster4u

I feel if a person is happy with who they are then why should they change that to become the stereotypical "model" image that is portrayed by most media?



Okay, that made me laugh right out loud.  Becoming a stereotypical model image is not a danger for most of us, I would wager.  Certainly not me!

Cali





HEY! Some of like to live that delusion dream that we can be model wafer thin! OK!


Edited cause I made some words up

< Message edited by impishlilhellcat -- 11/9/2009 3:27:12 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 3:40:22 PM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		Wrong thread.




< Message edited by impishlilhellcat -- 11/9/2009 3:46:37 PM >

_____________________________

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book - Unknown

(in reply to impishlilhellcat)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 3:45:53 PM   
purepleasure


Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		it sort of explains why or how some of us got to be the way we are

_____________________________

Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

(in reply to impishlilhellcat)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 3:51:28 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		Here's part of what frustrates me.... I  know it's all about moderation..... However as a person who has a history of  anorexia ( fuck...did I just really type it out loud there??!! ) I am always so overwhelmed when I eat anything that I'm not sure what true  moderation is. Does that make sense...
For example what I ate today I seriously feel like what I ate was enough for five people.....I'm sure most of you would disagree... I know He is not happy with it...
How do you learn to be okay with eating again when you've restricted yourself for so long? Has anyone ever gone from this side of the extreme pendulum?
Kali



_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to purepleasure)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 3:55:03 PM   
devilishpixie


Posts: 1044
Joined: 10/15/2009
Status: offline 		Kali, There are support groups for eating disorders. They do help.

(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 3:56:56 PM   
purepleasure


Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		to me, moderation is ONE serving of the recommended serving size.

_____________________________

Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

(in reply to devilishpixie)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 3:57:41 PM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Here's part of what frustrates me.... I  know it's all about moderation..... However as a person who has a history of  anorexia ( fuck...did I just really type it out loud there??!! ) I am always so overwhelmed when I eat anything that I'm not sure what true  moderation is. Does that make sense...
For example what I ate today I seriously feel like what I ate was enough for five people.....I'm sure most of you would disagree... I know He is not happy with it...
How do you learn to be okay with eating again when you've restricted yourself for so long? Has anyone ever gone from this side of the extreme pendulum?
Kali






I have the opposite. I just eat too much. It really was work for me cutting down my portions and then forcing myself to stop eating. I don't know about not eating enough, but I would keep a food diary and count calories and how much I had so I could physically see. I would force myself to stop eating and then when I did I would constantly mentally remind myself I had eaten enough. If I still felt hungry I would turn to water and just drink water to fill that need. Have you thought about more treatment as far as eating disorder goes or a help group or maybe just keeping a food journal and having your D type look at it at the end of the day and help you make adjustments? Or preplanning meals and snacks and then setting times in advance when you will eat even if you aren't hungry? Start small portions and work your way up?

< Message edited by impishlilhellcat -- 11/9/2009 3:59:03 PM >

_____________________________

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book - Unknown

(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Kinksters & Their Body Size, Diet, & Fitness - 11/9/2009 4:01:42 PM   
devilishpixie


Posts: 1044
Joined: 10/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: impishlilhellcat


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Here's part of what frustrates me.... I  know it's all about moderation..... However as a person who has a history of  anorexia ( fuck...did I just really type it out loud there??!! ) I am always so overwhelmed when I eat anything that I'm not sure what true  moderation is. Does that make sense...
For example what I ate today I seriously feel like what I ate was enough for five people.....I'm sure most of you would disagree... I know He is not happy with it...
How do you learn to be okay with eating again when you've restricted yourself for so long? Has anyone ever gone from this side of the extreme pendulum?
Kali






I have the opposite. I just eat too much. It really was work for me cutting down my portions and then forcing myself to stop eating. I don't know about not eating enough, but I would keep a food diary and count calories and how much I had so I could physically see. I would force myself to stop eating and then when I did I would constantly mentally remind myself I had eaten enough. If I still felt hungry I would turn to water and just drink water to fill that need. Have you thought about more treatment as far as eating disorder goes or a help group or maybe just keeping a food journal and having your D type look at it at the end of the day and help you make adjustments?



I am strange. Some days I am a binge eater other days I don't eat anything at all. So I have started keeping track of what I eat and when.

< Message edited by devilishpixie -- 11/9/2009 4:02:16 PM >

(in reply to impishlilhellcat)
Profile   Post #: 80
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