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Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 6:23:39 AM

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Been talking to a Dom some months. We get along great,same interests,same levels.
He says he likes me as well and underlines it.
When we were supposed to meet he canceled eight times, the reasons were sickness where I can at least confirm two cases, and the other times he "got into bad mood" because of some incident,or,slightly misunderstandings between us. He said to me he want to rejoice,if he cant its only plain that vanish. The last time we should meet he thought I had a date with some other Dom,where he misunderstood me when I told him to tell me in time,when he comes and not in the last minute,and gave him a timeframe,and if he couldnt do that I would accept an invitation. It was some friends of mine,but he took it emediately for another Dom.
This time he didnt want to talk about it but wanted to get further telling me we have to move on,right. Earlier times he always told me how sorry he was for not coming and also talking through misunderstandings or otherwise.
but this time he didnt said he was sorry or something.
Now hes invited for halloween. Im supposed to buy foods and everything(he was supposed to bring drinks)
but I dont know.. if hes coming,or hes not.
if I shall trust him to come,one more time,or not.
if something will come up,again,that prevents him to come. some silly excuse.
we havent met irl but weve talked in phone.
He seemed serious,to me. He has told me all times how much he wants me.
Hes asked me if I want him even though we havent met,so I said to him you dont know until you have met. So I didnt wanted to answer that. I asked why he asked,then he said for security. many times I thought he really liked me.
I dont know. we live close. what do you think?

RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 6:27:35 AM

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He's stringing you along. Time to move on.

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(in reply to monaslave)

RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 6:28:10 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

When we were supposed to meet he canceled eight times,

I didn't bother to read his excuses.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 6:33:37 AM

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Hes told me lots of personal information.. he acts jealous of me seeing others.. he cant bear to hear about it.. he hasnt any wife or girlfriend what I know.. he talks about his friends and family and me meeting them.. hes told them about me.. hes told others he has a date halloween with me.. he texts me alot.. he calls me.. tells me all time he likes me.. hes asked me several times if I want him and I say the same.. he wants to sleep over.. he wants to meet often.. he talked about getting rid of his reptiles because of me..
all this do you really talk like this if you dont mean it.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 6:34:26 AM

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OP:

he is not going to meet you

GM

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 6:36:49 AM

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where can you tell hes not going to meet me from?

(in reply to GYPSYMAMBO)

RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 6:38:09 AM

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mona, it doesn't even matter!

Let's say that one day he does meet you and you have a great time together. Then you'll have to wait months while he puts off the next meeting. It'll drive you crazy. It could be he works 90 hours/week, it could be he's married, it could be he's terrified to meet people... whatever, I'd say things are failing before they ever began.

Way past time to move on.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to GYPSYMAMBO)

RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 6:38:28 AM

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from experience. if he is that excited to meet you, he would have by now.

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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 6:40:41 AM

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Hes asking me what he shall bring to drink..do you really do that if you dont think of coming?

(in reply to monaslave)

RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 6:41:25 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

where can you tell hes not going to meet me from?

We've read your entire post. I'd suggest you do the same. If he ever does meet you, your relationship is going to consist of nothing but the occasional get-together punctuated by numerous cancellations. By continuing the conversations with him, you are sending him the message that you have no respect for yourself and that he's welcome to treat you however he likes. If that's good enough for you, keep talking to him. If not, walk away.

(in reply to monaslave)

RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 6:43:13 AM

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Even if all his excuses are real, do you want someone with this erratic a mood? Either he'll continue to cancel on you any time he feels like it or he'll take his bad moods out of you. He isn't in control of himself so you shouldnt get into a situation where he can control you. He'll be in a bad mood, you'll be restrained and safewords will be disregarded, hard limits will be violated. Too risky a scenario in my book.

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RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 6:43:30 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

Hes asking me what he shall bring to drink..do you really do that if you dont think of coming?

*Sigh*... there are none so blind as those who will not see...

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to monaslave)

RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 6:43:39 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

Hes asking me what he shall bring to drink..do you really do that if you dont think of coming?

I spent approximately $800 getting ready for a malesub who was going to fly to San Francisco from London - he'd already bought his plane ticket, then cancelled a week before he got here, because he was afraid it wouldn't work out. So, yes, men have done a lot more than ask about what to bring to drink and not shown up. Mona, you need to wise up. I know it hurts, but better now than after you've invested more in the non-relationship.

< Message edited by Venatrix -- 10/29/2009 6:44:47 AM >

(in reply to monaslave)

RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 6:53:58 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

Hes asking me what he shall bring to drink..do you really do that if you dont think of coming?

Yes you do because he actually really does want to meet you but probably can't because he is probably older, fatter and uglier than what he's made you believe. You clearly stated to him that you can't tell him you want him till you have met. He knows that once you have met you very probably won't want him and that my dear frightens him to death. For now he can keep the fantasy going. He can keep you believing that he's the man in the picture he sent.

So yes he does want you and he does want to meet you but he won't.
People do this sort of stuff all the time. There is nothing to stop a mother putting up a picture of her daughter. There is nothing to stop one being 20 years younger and there is nothing to stop one using someone elses persona for the making of a fantasy.

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RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 7:10:00 AM

lizi

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After reading the OP I wanted to post a response but don't really have much to add to the excellent advice and insight already offered. I'm going to add it anyway and hope that the repetition will sink in.

Mona, there is something completely off about this whole situation. Please don't spend another minute dealing with this man, it will never work out. He's either not serious enough, not willing to carry through, or in a situation that doesn't allow him to. Get out of it now. You don't want a Dom who continually demonstrates for you that he cannot be relied upon.

(in reply to Venatrix)

RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 7:10:09 AM

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Hello,

quote:

When we were supposed to meet he canceled eight times,

quote:

other times he "got into bad mood" because of some incident,or,slightly misunderstandings between us.

quote:

The last time we should meet he thought I had a date with some other Dom,where he misunderstood me

He may or may not be serious about wanting you, but....
Going by your description of his behaviors he's an unreliable, insecure, jealous, petulant "dominant".
By this point, that would tell me a lot about the likelihood of success and satisfaction with regard to any D/s relationship with him, no matter how much else we had in common.

Peace,
aj

_____________________________

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(in reply to monaslave)

RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 7:10:59 AM

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but if hes not the guy in the pic at all,I will tell him to leave.

(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 7:13:27 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

where can you tell hes not going to meet me from?

Maybe it will help if it's in a bigger font.

quote:

When we were supposed to meet he canceled eight times

(in reply to monaslave)

RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 7:13:45 AM

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Here's the deal Mona.........he is unreliable and untrustworthy.

If I tell someone I will meet them, barring being on my death bed, I will be there. It doesn't matter what mood I am in, how much or little chemistry I feel, I gave my word and I will keep it.

This guy is treating you like shit, you know it, you just don't want to acknowledge it. Find someone that is serious and quit wasting your time on this one.

Plus, consider this. When we are first getting to know someone it is human nature to want to put our best self forward. If this is his best self.........imagine the winner that is his worst!!!

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 10/29/2009 7:14:59 AM >

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to monaslave)

RE: Do you think hes serious? - 10/29/2009 7:14:48 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

but if hes not the guy in the pic at all,I will tell him to leave.

Um. Exactly.

(in reply to monaslave)

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