quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I am 26 but I am severely stunted emotionally and the new dr described me as borderline personality disorder

quote:

I am sorry for making you think I meant people in a clinic are real crazies, I meant people in the pych ward, some of them are crazy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I am 26 but I am severely stunted emotionally and the new dr described me as borderline personality disorder

If your doctor hasn't recommended it yet, you should read, "I hate you, Don't leave me." It's a book about borderline personality disorder that a former co-worker of mine had to read when she was diagnosed with BPD.

If you claim to be emotionally stunted to age 2 and a half years old, but are chronilogically 26, just remember that you can't fall back on one side or the other as it suits you. You can't have it both ways... You can't say, "I'm so hurt, scared, abused, and can't be held accountable for my actions and reactions... I'm just a toddler in my mind. Only to come back later and say, "I'm basically a grown-ass woman, and I give a shit what any of you think because I know my rights." Nope... pick a side, either you are a little kid who needs to be treated as such in all areas of your world, or you are an adult who needs to grow the hell up and start learning that there are consequences to your choices. And some of those consequences may mean jail time for assault if you don't keep your hands to yourself, or it could mean involuntary commission, which means you DON'T have a say as to whether you go back to a psych ward or not, and your behind will be in there with all the "real crazies" until someone decides that you are stable enough to be out.

quote:

I am sorry for making you think I meant people in a clinic are real crazies, I meant people in the pych ward, some of them are crazy

Honestly, this is the most backhanded "apology" I've seen in the recent past from a person. So, day clinic or out-patient clinic attendees aren't "real crazies," but in-patient folks are? What a load of shit.

Might I just offer my opinion into the mix here? There are a lot of "real crazies" who aren't hospitalized currently, whether in or out-patient, and they currently post on these boards. Some of them are really awesome people, are in treatment, take their meds, take responsibility for their actions and reactions, and assist others who may be going through something similar, and just want to offer an encouraging word.

Be careful when you start throwing around judgments, insults, and over-generalizations... they tend to cast a wide net, and before you know it, you may end up catching yourself on your own line.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

estah, I am sorry for making you think I meant people in a clinic are real crazies, I meant people in the pych ward, some of them are crazy, and I can't handle being around them. It triggers my ptsd, and I don't belong in a pych ward, I belong in a clinic, i what I meant to say.

quote:

ORIGINAL: estah

Topping,


You want to be careful how you word things, regardless of if you are drugged up or not. I said what I just said with the aim to make you realise, WORDS CAN HURT. A person is not a 'real crazy' as you put it, just because they are in a clinic. They are people who like you their problems.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

Red, PP, Goddess, Kali, you're all very remarkable women!  I sat here reading your posts w/my eyes tearing up, my hand on my cheek & my mouth open in shock.
Thank you all for sharing your life with us.
{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

First, before I go all badass, I wanted to thank each of you who have shared your real life stories here. I know it can't possibly be easy to do and I appreciate it very much. I've laughed, cried, and mostly just been in awe of each one of you fantastic people!

As for OP, would you kindly get your head out of your ass??? People are here trying to support you. For that kindness, they get constant nastiness. I have been following this thread all this time and have just kept my mouth shut, but I can't do it anymore. I will step away from the thread and this computer AFTER I am good and done here.

Let's start with the big one. Sorry, sweetheart, but you ARE one of the crazies. I can say that for the same reason many others on this thread can say it. I've been there and back. If you have a mental illness, diagnosed or not, treated or not, acknowledged or not, then you are one of the crazies. Sorry. And one brand of crazy isn't any more cute and cuddly than another brand of crazy. The fact that the "real crazies" triggers your PTSD is proof that you are just as much a "real crazy". Get over yourself already.

Quit putting others down to attempt to elevate yourself. If you would do the hard work and address your issues, you could rise above it all and actually BE someone who could have the kindness, sensitivity, and compassion to HELP fellow "real crazies". We go through what we do in life for a reason and that reason is so that we can reach out to others and help them when they have fallen to the depths of the same pit we were once in. Quit bullshitting yourself. If you actually were better, then you wouldn't need to look down upon these people with contempt and fear. You would understand and now have the skills to both keep yourself under control AND help them climb out. When one lacks self awareness, the easiest way to attempt to cover it is to claim it isn't so. Too bad so many have been to hell and back. We ain't buyin that crap. We see through it to the heart of the matter, not because we are some powerful, psychic entity, but because we remember what the flames felt like and how it was choking on that hellfire ourselves. Just stop it already.

You revert to a two and a half year old child in the face of life's difficulties. I will assure you there are only two places on the face of the earth where that will fly. One of them is in the arms of a very wonderful Daddydom (which, hate to break it to ya, you lack). The other is in the permanent confines of a psych hospital until you learn to cope with real stress like an adult. The law doesn't care what your past has been. The judge doesn't give a shit about your "emotional needs". Life will not coddle you. Grow the hell up or get thee into a situation that can allow you the luxury of being a toddler on a whim. I am sure seeing a 26 year old fighting tooth and nail to keep her stuffed animals didn't disturb a single one of the other "real crazies". That's perfectly normal behavior after all, since you think it is so. Give me a break!

If I may be blunt (gee, why stop now), the one thing that I know from years of schooling spurred by my own personal hell, is that personality disorders are some of the most pervasive and hardest to treat of mental illnesses. I will not insult others with a personality disorder by saying if anyone is a "real crazy" it would be a person with a personality disorder. Regardless of whether that is the case, they are pretty much lifelong, therapy intensive, and usually medication resistent disorders and affect absolutely every facet of your life and the lives of those around you. Over time and much, much therapy people learn to cope with them better and be aware of areas in which they do not function the way they should, but it takes a good long time and is crippling until then. If this is a diagnosis of yours, you'd best wake up and wake up good and soon. Your self deception about how ill you actually are and your overall attitude toward mental health issues and the means of treating them is going to work to your detriment in ways you can't even imagine. Many, many a woman behind bars has BPD. It is very strongly tied to violent crimes and is so difficult to treat most jurisdictions don't care to risk it and just lock up and throw away the key. If you want a meltdown, go ahead. Keep minimizing your issues. I am sure a women's prison would be an excellent alternative to a inpatient mental clinic. Chances are good you would also be confined to the psych wing of said prison and that is a level of nightmare all its own. Keep going. You are well on your way.

So your treatment was less than perfect and didn't meet your exacting expectations. No one is perfect. Not you, not your doctors, not the staff, not us here on these boards. NONE of us can be on point and above board 24/7/365. If the medication was at issue, you could have refused it and requested something different. You didn't have to have the name of that something different, but just quietly explain that the side effects were too rough for you and that you do want to comply with treatment, but wanted to try something else to see if you could gain results with fewer side effects. The rules are the rules and you have to follow them just like everyone else. They are there not just for your safety, but for the safety of others on the floor too. Someone could take your items and use them to hurt themselves, you, or others. Really this self absorbed world you are in is half the battle. It is the same issue that fuels your issues with being told when your ride arrived. They may have had someone bleeding out from attempting suicide, but they need to drop what they are doing and make sure you are notified the moment you could get the hell out of there because goodness knows you didn't belong there in the first place! Sometimes things just aren't about you.

I think I'm done now. I sincerely hope you will begin to address your issues head on, with no excuses, drama, or bullshit. I really do wish you the best. We are all just doing the tough love we know it takes to reach you where you are right now. We all care. Don't ever think otherwise.

lovingpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

that was a mistake someone talked me into going and I didn't believe my gut and my fear, next time I'll go into a clinic, but NOT a pych ward.

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

I do not belong locked up in a place with people who see things hear things hallicinate or are truely crazy.

But sweetie you self admitted, you said that yourself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

First, before I go all badass, I wanted to thank each of you who have shared your real life stories here. I know it can't possibly be easy to do and I appreciate it very much. I've laughed, cried, and mostly just been in awe of each one of you fantastic people!

As for OP, would you kindly get your head out of your ass??? People are here trying to support you. For that kindness, they get constant nastiness. I have been following this thread all this time and have just kept my mouth shut, but I can't do it anymore. I will step away from the thread and this computer AFTER I am good and done here.

Let's start with the big one. Sorry, sweetheart, but you ARE one of the crazies. I can say that for the same reason many others on this thread can say it. I've been there and back. If you have a mental illness, diagnosed or not, treated or not, acknowledged or not, then you are one of the crazies. Sorry. And one brand of crazy isn't any more cute and cuddly than another brand of crazy. The fact that the "real crazies" triggers your PTSD is proof that you are just as much a "real crazy". Get over yourself already.

Quit putting others down to attempt to elevate yourself. If you would do the hard work and address your issues, you could rise above it all and actually BE someone who could have the kindness, sensitivity, and compassion to HELP fellow "real crazies". We go through what we do in life for a reason and that reason is so that we can reach out to others and help them when they have fallen to the depths of the same pit we were once in. Quit bullshitting yourself. If you actually were better, then you wouldn't need to look down upon these people with contempt and fear. You would understand and now have the skills to both keep yourself under control AND help them climb out. When one lacks self awareness, the easiest way to attempt to cover it is to claim it isn't so. Too bad so many have been to hell and back. We ain't buyin that crap. We see through it to the heart of the matter, not because we are some powerful, psychic entity, but because we remember what the flames felt like and how it was choking on that hellfire ourselves. Just stop it already.

You revert to a two and a half year old child in the face of life's difficulties. I will assure you there are only two places on the face of the earth where that will fly. One of them is in the arms of a very wonderful Daddydom (which, hate to break it to ya, you lack). The other is in the permanent confines of a psych hospital until you learn to cope with real stress like an adult. The law doesn't care what your past has been. The judge doesn't give a shit about your "emotional needs". Life will not coddle you. Grow the hell up or get thee into a situation that can allow you the luxury of being a toddler on a whim. I am sure seeing a 26 year old fighting tooth and nail to keep her stuffed animals didn't disturb a single one of the other "real crazies". That's perfectly normal behavior after all, since you think it is so. Give me a break!

If I may be blunt (gee, why stop now), the one thing that I know from years of schooling spurred by my own personal hell, is that personality disorders are some of the most pervasive and hardest to treat of mental illnesses. I will not insult others with a personality disorder by saying if anyone is a "real crazy" it would be a person with a personality disorder. Regardless of whether that is the case, they are pretty much lifelong, therapy intensive, and usually medication resistent disorders and affect absolutely every facet of your life and the lives of those around you. Over time and much, much therapy people learn to cope with them better and be aware of areas in which they do not function the way they should, but it takes a good long time and is crippling until then. If this is a diagnosis of yours, you'd best wake up and wake up good and soon. Your self deception about how ill you actually are and your overall attitude toward mental health issues and the means of treating them is going to work to your detriment in ways you can't even imagine. Many, many a woman behind bars has BPD. It is very strongly tied to violent crimes and is so difficult to treat most jurisdictions don't care to risk it and just lock up and throw away the key. If you want a meltdown, go ahead. Keep minimizing your issues. I am sure a women's prison would be an excellent alternative to a inpatient mental clinic. Chances are good you would also be confined to the psych wing of said prison and that is a level of nightmare all its own. Keep going. You are well on your way.

So your treatment was less than perfect and didn't meet your exacting expectations. No one is perfect. Not you, not your doctors, not the staff, not us here on these boards. NONE of us can be on point and above board 24/7/365. If the medication was at issue, you could have refused it and requested something different. You didn't have to have the name of that something different, but just quietly explain that the side effects were too rough for you and that you do want to comply with treatment, but wanted to try something else to see if you could gain results with fewer side effects. The rules are the rules and you have to follow them just like everyone else. They are there not just for your safety, but for the safety of others on the floor too. Someone could take your items and use them to hurt themselves, you, or others. Really this self absorbed world you are in is half the battle. It is the same issue that fuels your issues with being told when your ride arrived. They may have had someone bleeding out from attempting suicide, but they need to drop what they are doing and make sure you are notified the moment you could get the hell out of there because goodness knows you didn't belong there in the first place! Sometimes things just aren't about you.

I think I'm done now. I sincerely hope you will begin to address your issues head on, with no excuses, drama, or bullshit. I really do wish you the best. We are all just doing the tough love we know it takes to reach you where you are right now. We all care. Don't ever think otherwise.

lovingpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth
WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!!