quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

Thank you, pixie and kyttyn, for sharing part of your lives. 

I think the biggest thing I've learned from this thread (and it certainly has nothing to do with the OP) is that there are lots of courageous people here, lots of loving people here, lots of knowledgeable people here...  we have a common thread that runs through us... we love or we are the ones who have seen the blackness of the pit, and have tried our best to get them or ourselves back into the sunlight. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth
WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!!

There is no need to shout. On the contrary. She identifies as a daddy-girl. Do you shout at toddlers and babies as well? I consider that contraproductive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

Thank you, pixie and kyttyn, for sharing part of your lives. 

I think the biggest thing I've learned from this thread (and it certainly has nothing to do with the OP) is that there are lots of courageous people here, lots of loving people here, lots of knowledgeable people here...  we have a common thread that runs through us... we love or we are the ones who have seen the blackness of the pit, and have tried our best to get them or ourselves back into the sunlight. 

Part of what my Master does with me is banish darkness.
I have likely always had dysthymic mood disorder... and have at least 3 other running diagnoses.

My mother's battle with severe mental illness began before I was 2 and her treatment included many hospitalizations and multiple rounds of ECT.

So, I feel proud to be in the company of such courageous women. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis

Linea, one of the proud real crazies

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead
Rule,

With all due respect... this goes beyond what her kink orientation is.  We have read her countless posts as Topping and YourHandMyAss.  She has been more than open about her "issues," which include, but are not limited to: physical and verbal assault, battery, threats to the person and/or property of herself or another, several mental health diagnoses, physical maladies, personality disorders of several variations, as well as other compulsions.

I have also talked to her on the phone, and by her own admission, she is seriously ill, but has several obstacles in her course of treatment... most of it being denial and self-absorption.  She told me that she suffers from a narcissistic personality disorder as well.  So excuse the hell out of us, who, for years, have followed her posts, have tried being patient and helpful, and have coddled the shit out of this GROWN WOMAN.  For phuk's sake, she's not a baby, not a toddler, not a little kid...  she's about to turn 26 g*ddamn years old!

So... while zephy may not scream an expletive at a "for-real" little one, she damn straight, like any other human being, would scream at one if she saw him or her getting ready to walk out in front of a speeding car.  In my opinion, there's no damn difference here.

~ Red

quote:

ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot

I don't want to discourage you from getting help, but you are aware that the same type of " crazies " will probably be in the waiting room at a clinic, aren't you ? Mental Health facilites treat mentally ill people of all types.

Please stop concerning yourself with others degree of mental illness, it's not helpful.  Focus on your own and getting the help you need. It's very easy and a nice little diversion to point fingers and say " hey look, that one is nuttier than me " and " I'm not as sick as that crazy one ".  It all may be true, but it is taking the focus off yourself and the help you need, and giving you excuses to avoid putting your heart and soul into getting well. Comparing your situation with others situation is not productive.
                    mbmbn

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

I think that she requires a responsible dominant to take absolute charge of her

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ


It greatly saddens me that you see yourself as better than someone else who has a serious mental illness just because their symptoms present themselves in different ways.
Different is not better or worse, it is just different.
It is true that different can be quite scary.

I am guessing that there are times when someone who did not know you could interpret your behavior as scary.
You have talked about both verbal and physical outburts.

I am aware that loud noises frighten you.
They frighten a lot of people.
Likely there are times when your behaviors have frightened people.

However, many of the people you would label as "really crazy" could probably teach you about coping skills once their illness is better controlled with medication that is effective for them.

Again, this isn't to pick on you or de-value your feelings.
I just think that the impressions you carry about 'crazy people' are going to get in the way of your own path to getting better.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

These people cared for people... I watched these people care about people!! I watched them care about me!!!

Kali

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

You know what, they might rightly be in the clinic waiting room but if they go nuts and start doing behaviors you see in a pych ward, you're not locked in with them. You're free to leave,  or you'll have a person with you that can assure you their not going to get you.

that makes all the difference in the world to me, if I can leave or I am not trapped or I know someone safe isn't going to let someone get me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

Does this mean the dog still isn't getting any exercise?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

There was one mentally retarded girl, who though she was so small should someone want they could of picked her up and broke her in half and at the worst of my terror she hugged me and said I won't let any one get you I prommise I am here.

It helped a lot,  sometimes you just need a hug, but this ward didn't allow hugging or close contact so she risked punishment to hug the scared women who was bigger than her. There are kind and sweet people there, I don't mean to in my hurry to express myself discount that there were not kind people, one of the staff tried to tell me if I continued to be scared and lash out I'd go to a REALLY scary place and trust me I didn't want that, and some of them did help, I don't want to insult the memory of those who were kind.

quote:

ORIGINAL: impishlilhellcat

I want to say to all the women (I think it was all women) who posted their stories I have learned so much from you all! You have a strength, honesty, and bluntness about sharing your own stories that I don't have. I've never dealt with in any form a psychiatric hospital although I have dealt with a psychiatrist. I too have lived through my own personal brand of hell and seeing other people go through and come out of what one of you has dealt with gives me a little bit of a different perspective and a little bit more strength to go to battle with those demons that haunt me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

First, before I go all badass, I wanted to thank each of you who have shared your real life stories here. I know it can't possibly be easy to do and I appreciate it very much. I've laughed, cried, and mostly just been in awe of each one of you fantastic people!

As for OP, would you kindly get your head out of your ass??? People are here trying to support you. For that kindness, they get constant nastiness. I have been following this thread all this time and have just kept my mouth shut, but I can't do it anymore. I will step away from the thread and this computer AFTER I am good and done here.

Let's start with the big one. Sorry, sweetheart, but you ARE one of the crazies. I can say that for the same reason many others on this thread can say it. I've been there and back. If you have a mental illness, diagnosed or not, treated or not, acknowledged or not, then you are one of the crazies. Sorry. And one brand of crazy isn't any more cute and cuddly than another brand of crazy. The fact that the "real crazies" triggers your PTSD is proof that you are just as much a "real crazy". Get over yourself already.

Quit putting others down to attempt to elevate yourself. If you would do the hard work and address your issues, you could rise above it all and actually BE someone who could have the kindness, sensitivity, and compassion to HELP fellow "real crazies". We go through what we do in life for a reason and that reason is so that we can reach out to others and help them when they have fallen to the depths of the same pit we were once in. Quit bullshitting yourself. If you actually were better, then you wouldn't need to look down upon these people with contempt and fear. You would understand and now have the skills to both keep yourself under control AND help them climb out. When one lacks self awareness, the easiest way to attempt to cover it is to claim it isn't so. Too bad so many have been to hell and back. We ain't buyin that crap. We see through it to the heart of the matter, not because we are some powerful, psychic entity, but because we remember what the flames felt like and how it was choking on that hellfire ourselves. Just stop it already.

You revert to a two and a half year old child in the face of life's difficulties. I will assure you there are only two places on the face of the earth where that will fly. One of them is in the arms of a very wonderful Daddydom (which, hate to break it to ya, you lack). The other is in the permanent confines of a psych hospital until you learn to cope with real stress like an adult. The law doesn't care what your past has been. The judge doesn't give a shit about your "emotional needs". Life will not coddle you. Grow the hell up or get thee into a situation that can allow you the luxury of being a toddler on a whim. I am sure seeing a 26 year old fighting tooth and nail to keep her stuffed animals didn't disturb a single one of the other "real crazies". That's perfectly normal behavior after all, since you think it is so. Give me a break!

If I may be blunt (gee, why stop now), the one thing that I know from years of schooling spurred by my own personal hell, is that personality disorders are some of the most pervasive and hardest to treat of mental illnesses. I will not insult others with a personality disorder by saying if anyone is a "real crazy" it would be a person with a personality disorder. Regardless of whether that is the case, they are pretty much lifelong, therapy intensive, and usually medication resistent disorders and affect absolutely every facet of your life and the lives of those around you. Over time and much, much therapy people learn to cope with them better and be aware of areas in which they do not function the way they should, but it takes a good long time and is crippling until then. If this is a diagnosis of yours, you'd best wake up and wake up good and soon. Your self deception about how ill you actually are and your overall attitude toward mental health issues and the means of treating them is going to work to your detriment in ways you can't even imagine. Many, many a woman behind bars has BPD. It is very strongly tied to violent crimes and is so difficult to treat most jurisdictions don't care to risk it and just lock up and throw away the key. If you want a meltdown, go ahead. Keep minimizing your issues. I am sure a women's prison would be an excellent alternative to a inpatient mental clinic. Chances are good you would also be confined to the psych wing of said prison and that is a level of nightmare all its own. Keep going. You are well on your way.

So your treatment was less than perfect and didn't meet your exacting expectations. No one is perfect. Not you, not your doctors, not the staff, not us here on these boards. NONE of us can be on point and above board 24/7/365. If the medication was at issue, you could have refused it and requested something different. You didn't have to have the name of that something different, but just quietly explain that the side effects were too rough for you and that you do want to comply with treatment, but wanted to try something else to see if you could gain results with fewer side effects. The rules are the rules and you have to follow them just like everyone else. They are there not just for your safety, but for the safety of others on the floor too. Someone could take your items and use them to hurt themselves, you, or others. Really this self absorbed world you are in is half the battle. It is the same issue that fuels your issues with being told when your ride arrived. They may have had someone bleeding out from attempting suicide, but they need to drop what they are doing and make sure you are notified the moment you could get the hell out of there because goodness knows you didn't belong there in the first place! Sometimes things just aren't about you.

I think I'm done now. I sincerely hope you will begin to address your issues head on, with no excuses, drama, or bullshit. I really do wish you the best. We are all just doing the tough love we know it takes to reach you where you are right now. We all care. Don't ever think otherwise.

lovingpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

There was one mentally retarded girl, who though she was so small should someone want they could of picked her up and broke her in half and at the worst of my terror she hugged me and said I won't let any one get you I prommise I am here.

It helped a lot,  sometimes you just need a hug, but this ward didn't allow hugging or close contact so she risked punishment to hug the scared women who was bigger than her. There are kind and sweet people there, I don't mean to in my hurry to express myself discount that there were not kind people, one of the staff tried to tell me if I continued to be scared and lash out I'd go to a REALLY scary place and trust me I didn't want that, and some of them did help, I don't want to insult the memory of those who were kind.

So, by your own admission, the actions of people in a psychiatric ward are not all bad.  Therefore, your overgeneralization of paitent behaviors were too broad, erroneous, and inaccurate.

See?  When you slow down enough to think about what you are saying and what you are typing... you paint a more correct picture than when you shoot from the hip and post in a hypermanic state of being.