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RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 12:42:23 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

She was in a vulnerable position post rape and not many people make rational decisions after that type of experience. So I'm far more likely to be forgiving of her "crap decision" given the extending circumstances than I am to defend his actions or chalk up what happened to her as being due only to her crappy decision. They weren't phantom accusations...they were my opinion. Simple as that.

So, perhaps with your greater experience, you could let all of us know after what basic timeframe, post-assault, and under what prerequisites we can start treating rape victims like normal people again instead of exacerbating their horrific experience by presuming their brains are, forever after, too compromised and frail to continue to live life competently?

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)

Post #: 101

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 6:19:10 PM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

She was in a vulnerable position post rape and not many people make rational decisions after that type of experience. So I'm far more likely to be forgiving of her "crap decision" given the extending circumstances than I am to defend his actions or chalk up what happened to her as being due only to her crappy decision. They weren't phantom accusations...they were my opinion. Simple as that.

So, perhaps with your greater experience, you could let all of us know after what basic timeframe, post-assault, and under what prerequisites we can start treating rape victims like normal people again instead of exacerbating their horrific experience by presuming their brains are, forever after, too compromised and frail to continue to live life competently?

Dude seriously, I'm not getting what your problem is in regard to what I stated is my opinion. Or the vitrol you have towards me. It's an opinion. Evidently you think that this was perfectly ok that this guy did what he did because she made a shitty decision. Great, that's your opinion. You have a right to your opinion. I don't agree with it and have another opinion. What exactly is it that makes you so upset that I stated a different opinion than yours???

Now I'm beginning to see why so many people have left Cm in the 2 years I've been away.

_____________________________

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She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 102

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 6:23:42 PM

Rhodes85

Posts: 445
Joined: 11/15/2008
From: Nova Scotia, Canada
Status: offline

'She agreed to his requests. Being wooed into doing things you later regret is not "manipulation". lol'

Hmm....I could have sworn that this is basically the very definition of what it means to manipulate someone...

If that isn't manipulation then what may I ask is it....?

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Post #: 103

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 6:46:48 PM

Llyren

Posts: 637
Joined: 3/5/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

He was a user, a jerk, a predator, and should have his face plastered on billboards and in public advertisements. He's a hyena in human form, without the redeeming qualities of hyenas.

She, trauma aside, was refusing to see the obvious. So she should have to be part of the advertisements.
"Hi, I'm a now-reformed gullible fool. Please take my advice, and use your common sense, and realize that you are worthy of self-respect."

Now, both sides can feel free to attack -me-. She did something really stupid, and it's easy to get sucked into doing something for a man you believe loves you. Honestly, I think that was truly the curse God put on Eve. Your desire will be for a husband. Women are STUPID where men are concerned. I wish I knew why. I certainly have been in the past.

_____________________________

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(in reply to Rhodes85)

Post #: 104

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 7:21:49 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

Dude seriously, I'm not getting what your problem is in regard to what I stated is my opinion.

It doesn't actually treat both parties as adults. I have issue with the illogic.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

Or the vitrol you have towards me.

I have said nothing about you. I, furthermore, only asked for you input of concerning your pertinent experience after you felt it worthwhile to toss it into the debate to bolster your side of the argument. If you happen to view incisive debate styles as "vitriol" I suppose I could flower up my method of discussion...but I don't see how that would make a point for anything related to the topic.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

It's an opinion.

I'm not entirely thrilled with that word. Opinions are useless unless they have something substantial and sensible to back them up. Concerning this topic, your point about the emotional status of rape victims is a decent factor to consider...which is actually why I made the point of asking where, how, and why, exactly, we should use it to render someone as less intellectually capable than a 'normal' person.

Furthermore, although it was a topic not yet broached, I was also indirectly curious about where the line would be (generally, as cases are variable based on the individual) between offering every possible support to a rape victim and actually enabling their continued self-victimization.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

Evidently you think that this was perfectly ok that this guy did what he did because she made a shitty decision.

Please consider the company you are in. We are part of a social minority that specifically does things which are not "ok" by audience standards. Every time one up us winds back to lash a partner with a cat-o-nine tails we are doing something "not ok". Every time we slap our partner across the face in the midst of sexual intercourse, we are doing something "not ok". How do we, as a community, espouse anything we do (unless we go to bed internally guilty because we find ourselves repulsed by what we do)? Consent.

She consented to every thing he asked. Calling foul on "manipulation" is an empty accusation. Coercion? Now there's something important to assess. Did he threaten her or her property or her family directly if she didn't comply? Did he promise to, perhaps, divulge her kink-related preferences to family members that might have hypothetically disowned her?

Your argument means that every person who ever wakes up the next morning wishing they hadn't had sex with the person they did the night before has been "manipulated". Not because there wasn't consent, but because they decided to look back and assess their actions negatively. Actions they consented to.

Your only vestige of sensibility in this argument is if you decide how and when someone is incapable of making sensible decisions, at which point you are arguing for their social quarantine. Or, at very least, that they should wear some sort of sign so that other people do not mistakenly assume they can acquiesce to or deny requests with maturity like most other adults.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

Great, that's your opinion. You have a right to your opinion. I don't agree with it and have another opinion. What exactly is it that makes you so upset that I stated a different opinion than yours???

Whether one is more plausible than the next.

The word "opinion" is not a magical salve that makes saying "the moon is made of cheese!" just as informatively worthwhile a supposition as "the moon is made of cosmic rock."

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

Now I'm beginning to see why so many people have left Cm in the 2 years I've been away.

Yes, it's all my fault. Perhaps we could start a new thread asking for suggestions as to how to keep me from using my awesome CM deity powers to brainwash other forum members?

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 11/16/2009 7:32:07 PM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)

Post #: 105

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 7:28:24 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rhodes85

'She agreed to his requests. Being wooed into doing things you later regret is not "manipulation". lol'

Hmm....I could have sworn that this is basically the very definition of what it means to manipulate someone...

If that isn't manipulation then what may I ask is it....?

I got my points a bit twisted there. I'l rephrase:

I'll say that such is an acceptable definition of "manipulation".

Yet again, however, I don't grant any real credibility to any actual accusation of someone as being a manipulator. I mean, maybe instances like Boxing Helena aside.

Besides, this whole "manipulator" nonsense makes the presumption that he malignantly sought her out, like a lion stalking a wounded antelope on the savanna, so that he could specifically extract from her (after putting enough effort to woo her) things that he knew she didn't want to do but would magically agree to anyway!

That's an awful lot of pre-determined assumptions. Maybe he just got together with someone he developed chemistry with and (imagine this!) assumed she was mature enough to agree or disagree to requests that he made of her and thought he might have found someone who was content offering the things he actually wanted?

No, no...surely, he must have been a well-disguised supervillain.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 11/16/2009 7:33:40 PM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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(in reply to Rhodes85)

Post #: 106

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 7:33:38 PM

ncbabe

Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

Yes, it's all my fault. Perhaps we could start a new thread asking for suggestions as to how to keep me from using my awesome CM deity powers to brainwash other forum members?

I haven't really been following this thread, but I agree with everything NZ says.

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Post #: 107

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 7:35:27 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ncbabe

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

Yes, it's all my fault. Perhaps we could start a new thread asking for suggestions as to how to keep me from using my awesome CM deity powers to brainwash other forum members?

I haven't really been following this thread, but I agree with everything NZ says.

*hides puppeteer strings behind back*

Wha?

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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Post #: 108

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 7:46:39 PM

Llyren

Posts: 637
Joined: 3/5/2007
From: Illinois
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No offense to any 20 year olds, but for the most part, they're not able to make really good decisions, having just been teenagers very recently, and as such are easy prey for men old enough to be their fathers.

Yes, we do things, or in my case want to do things, that others would view as abhorrent. Yes, we consent to them.

But the point I think you're forgetting, with all due respect, NZ, is that she consented -because- she thought he cared for her, was wanting what was best for her, and perhaps loved her.

I'm not going to let a random stranger have the same liberties with my mind and heart and body that I would someone with whom I was involved.

That is where it turns into something very, very wrong, and very non-consensual. She thought she was obeying someone who loved her, and wanted her as his own precious possession. She was in fact being used by a callous freak who should be emasculated on pay-per-view.

_____________________________

I'm not perving. I'm compensating for my myopia. So nyah.

Member of Cock-Suckers for World Peace

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(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 109

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 8:04:52 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

No offense to any 20 year olds, but for the most part, they're not able to make really good decisions, having just been teenagers very recently, and as such are easy prey for men old enough to be their fathers.

So, fleshing out which people should be allowed to make adult decisions (when it come to relationships, that is. If they want to die for their country, vote for their president, watch an R-rated movie...that's fine, though): nobody under 21 is allowed to involve themselves in any relationships with anyone that could biologically be their father. Let's be liberal with numbers and assume that could be a 15 year gap. So, Anyone 20 or under may not be in a relationships with someone 35 or over. Got it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

Yes, we do things, or in my case want to do things, that others would view as abhorrent. Yes, we consent to them.

Because we are over 20, dating people who are less that 15 years our senior. Got it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

But the point I think you're forgetting, with all due respect, NZ, is that she consented -because- she thought he cared for her, was wanting what was best for her, and perhaps loved her.

Okay. So, for those of us over 20, so long as we can have the predisposition to project expectations onto other people or believe that our interpretations of "being cared for" and "wanting the best" and "loving" were not matching to those of the partner we have already left, we can still be post hoc victims of manipulation.

Furthermore, this can stretch into willful delusion of things as the acts are happening. If I am in a relationship with a pacifist, whom I love and presume to be loved by, and xhe asks me to kill hir neighbor, I can, after commiting the crime, say I was being manipulated by the presumption that xhe did not condone violence.

Got it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

I'm not going to let a random stranger have the same liberties with my mind and heart and body that I would someone with whom I was involved.

So, how much relationship time would I have needed to have spent with this pacifist to qualify for "manipulation" coverage?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

That is where it turns into something very, very wrong, and very non-consensual. She thought she was obeying someone who loved her, and wanted her as his own precious possession. She was in fact being used by a callous freak who should be emasculated on pay-per-view.

Ah. I see. I can, furthermore, waive my retroactive consent as part of the "manipulation package" if enough of these criteria are met in conjunction! How does that works as a dominant, though?

Maybe I could claim manipulation if I demand things of hir presuming that xhe wants me to show such an authority dynamic, because I think xhe loves me and wants me as hir precious controller and then, once we are no longer together and she actually says xhe never wanted to do any of those thing, I can claim that I was manipulated into demanding things because I thought that's what xhe wanted!

It all makes sense now! ....

....wait...

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 11/16/2009 8:11:23 PM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

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(in reply to Llyren)

Post #: 110

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 8:10:03 PM

Llyren

Posts: 637
Joined: 3/5/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

Well, so much for polite disagreement and with all due respect. Can you stretch my statements a bit further so you can better attack them?

You continue to sit in your tub of justification and blame her for everything. Because he couldn't possibly have done -anything- wrong and how we dare pick on him for her having chosen to ruin her life. Just because she thought he cared about her.

I think what she did was stupid. Very, very stupid. She risked her life and her future, and she knew better. She's stupid. He's an evil predator. There is NO justification for his behaviour.

_____________________________

I'm not perving. I'm compensating for my myopia. So nyah.

Member of Cock-Suckers for World Peace

"Character is what you are in the dark."

- Lord John Whorfin

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 111

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 8:13:07 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
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quote:

Besides, this whole "manipulator" nonsense makes the presumption that he malignantly sought her out, like a lion stalking a wounded antelope on the savanna, so that he could specifically extract from her (after putting enough effort to woo her) things that he knew she didn't want to do but would magically agree to anyway!

Actually, if this part of the OP's story is accurate:

quote:

I should add that right before this relationship started, I got raped and told him about it and that's when the relationship really took off. I felt like I needed someone's advice and protection.

then it sounds like he may well have done exactly that.

I'm not saying that the OP isn't responsible for her actions, but there are some who will seek out the "wounded antelope" with the aim of taking advantage. Lord knows I saw my share when I was new and my profile stated that I was in the process of getting a divorce.

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Post #: 112

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 8:15:00 PM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
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From: P'burgh PA
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It doesn't actually treat both parties as adults. I have issue with the illogic.

Well it isn't illogical when they aren't both equal in their adult hood. She's 21, he's 42. I wasn't as adult or as mature at 21 as I am at 43. I know that I made a lot of dumb decisions at 21 that I wouldn't now. The point of making dumb mistakes is learning from them. Hopefully the OP has done so. I would hope that at my age if I took on a sub of 21 I would be responsible enough to guide and protect (even from themselves if need be) rather than encourage them to act in ways that would cause further damage.

I have said nothing about you. I, furthermore, only asked for you input of pertinent experience after you felt it worthwhile to toss into the debate to bolster your side of the argument. If you happen to view incisive debate styles as "vitriol" I suppose I could flower up my method of discussion...but I don't see how that would make a point for anything related to the topic.

I guess my befuddlement would be why you feel the need to debate with me on my input and opinion. Or even why you feel the need to do so in the manner in which you do. While I've no problem with debate per se in a situation that merits debate; I don't understand the point of debating with so little regard for respect of another person's opinion. You just seem to be a rather angry person or perhaps I'm misreading your writing style.

Yes, it's all my fault. Perhaps we could start a new thread asking for suggestions as to how to keep me from using my awesome CM deity powers to brainwash other forum members? I'm sorry, where exactly did I say "because of NihilusZero people have run rabidly away from CM"? Perhaps if you were to ask me what I meant by my statement I would have explained to you that it is evident by this thread and others that the style of debate has changed a great deal from one of mutual respect to something very different. I've not ever experienced this form of attack style debate within the forums in all the years I've been here. I'm not saying it has never occurred between other posters however I've never actually had it happen to me for seemingly no reason whatsoever. After 2 years away I wondered what had happened to many of the people that used to post quite often on the boards the answer was all pretty much the same. Perhaps I'm simply a bit confused but I always thought that debate was something one did with deliberation and common courtesy, not snark.

Now, rather than allow this debate of ours to completely hijack this thread I'll let it go back to the original intent of the OP to get meaningful advice and opinions. Personally I'm just going to go with the ideology of agreeing to disagree with you. I don't know you, nor do I have the desire to debate you. Although I will add that I do appreciate your pointing out my misspell of vitriol. Good catch.

Again, Have a Peachy kind of day!

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 113

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 8:15:34 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

You continue to sit in your tub of justification and blame her for everything.

Please point out the instance in this thread where I used the word "blame".

quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

Because he couldn't possibly have done -anything- wrong and how we dare pick on him for her having chosen to ruin her life. Just because she thought he cared about her.

There is no "wrong". How anyone can be part of this social sub-populace and not realize that is confusing to me. There is only consensual and non-consensual.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

I think what she did was stupid. Very, very stupid. She risked her life and her future, and she knew better. She's stupid.

It's only stupid because she decided to call it that after the fact. Reckless? That's a bit of a better word, presuming they didn't bother to request testing papers for the guys she slept with. Aside from that, though, it's no different than other dynamics where the D-type shares hir s-type sexually with other people.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

He's an evil predator. There is NO justification for his behaviour.

Not even consent, apparently. We're all fucked, by that logic. All of us.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 11/16/2009 8:42:56 PM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

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(in reply to Llyren)

Post #: 114

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 8:20:38 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

Actually, if this part of the OP's story is accurate:

quote:

I should add that right before this relationship started, I got raped and told him about it and that's when the relationship really took off. I felt like I needed someone's advice and protection.

then it sounds like he may well have done exactly that.

I'm not saying that the OP isn't responsible for her actions, but there are some who will seek out the "wounded antelope" with the aim of taking advantage. Lord knows I saw my share when I was new and my profile stated that I was in the process of getting a divorce.

Thank you. There's an honest and poignant point that actually does provide something to make the case of "manipulation". And, underneath all the silliness in the thread now, it would be a great topic to try and assess how/when/why we should treat people in a way that may constrain their options.

I mean, as friends, we probably try to nudge those we know from jumping in too quick into a new relationship when on the rebound from a recent break-up, but we don't even actively step in and deny them that decision, do we? Are there situations when the emotional trauma someone has suffered would make enough of a case to step in against their wishes?

Or would we just be reading a thread with a different title had that been the case: "So called 'friends' try to run my life!" where perhaps many of the same demonizers here are then rallying against the audacity of friends to keep her from having entered the relationship with the guy?

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 11/16/2009 8:38:31 PM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

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(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 115

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 8:21:42 PM

Llyren

Posts: 637
Joined: 3/5/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

We've hit the point of trolldom, and from here, it's just going to be name calling. You're not actually listening to what is being said, you're just sure it's wrong.

So therefore...

Nannynannybooo! Pthhbbbbt! You're wrong, and Joss Whedon is right.

_____________________________

I'm not perving. I'm compensating for my myopia. So nyah.

Member of Cock-Suckers for World Peace

"Character is what you are in the dark."

- Lord John Whorfin

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 116

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 8:26:33 PM

subinchico

Posts: 119
Joined: 1/6/2008
Status: offline

You're fine, seem stable, it was a learning exp. Learning is always good plus you're young. Don't listen to some of these negative comments from CM folk with way to much free time, their jealous,a usually. Go put mask on and dominate the blood out of him, LOL! or someone else, LOL!

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelain20

quote:

Your post is still all about you. What you wanted, what was hoping for. In our relationship, that does not exist in such a way as submission.
Infatuation isn't necessarily bad or negative, it only becomes so when the property becomes damaged. It might all have been what you want - but I other than the prostitution, I don't see anything about what he wanted.

He liked massages and me getting him off.
He liked watching me with other guys.
He liked me buying him things 95% of the time we saw him I had something for him.
And he wanted me to lose weight.
And stop spending so much of my money on stuff.

The last two were to benefit me but the past few months its been extremely hard to find any self-love that I didn't succeed in those things.

I wanted to be his and I believed that I loved him. But now I believe it was not love it was just infatuation and desire...because of his personality.

------

I also wouldn't call him a predator. At first we just started as friends with benefits. But then I had gotten raped by someone and needed someone to protect me and just help me out...When things started going bad for him financially he didn't plan on staying unemployed for months...this is a recession...But maybe he really believes that me going and being a prostitute would not have any effect on me? He said it was just an excuse to break up with him when I did...I don't know.

Is that possible though? Does anyone think going out and blowing or f**king men for money would not hurt a girl's self respect, self love, and self esteem?

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Post #: 117

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 8:37:32 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

Well it isn't illogical when they aren't both equal in their adult hood. She's 21, he's 42. I wasn't as adult or as mature at 21 as I am at 43. I know that I made a lot of dumb decisions at 21 that I wouldn't now. The point of making dumb mistakes is learning from them. Hopefully the OP has done so.

Okay. So you too espouse the 15-year gap. And that adulthood is measured solely by chronological age.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

I would hope that at my age if I took on a sub of 21 I would be responsible enough to guide and protect (even from themselves if need be) rather than encourage them to act in ways that would cause further damage.

Really? What if that 21 year old wants a relationship where xhe is used as a sexual toy for others' pleasure? Would you bar them from that desire and force them to take on other personal kinks instead?

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

I guess my befuddlement would be why you feel the need to debate with me on my input and opinion. Or even why you feel the need to do so in the manner in which you do. While I've no problem with debate per se in a situation that merits debate; I don't understand the point of debating with so little regard for respect of another person's opinion. You just seem to be a rather angry person or perhaps I'm misreading your writing style.

I have regard for a person's "opinion" in proportion to how sensible it is. Again: moon = cheese or rock.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

I'm sorry, where exactly did I say "because of NihilusZero people have run rabidly away from CM"?

Well, thanks for deflating my ego!

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

Perhaps if you were to ask me what I meant by my statement I would have explained to you that it is evident by this thread and others that the style of debate has changed a great deal from one of mutual respect to something very different.

This is a discussion. "Respect" doesn't enter into it! I don't think you're any less of a human being because I find your intellectual position on this topic flimsy! And, yes, there are other members here who traditionally can make fantastic points with a prettier tone. I'll gladly admit that my debate style is more incisive than most. That doesn't change anything relevant to "respect", though.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

I've not ever experienced this form of attack style debate within the forums in all the years I've been here. I'm not saying it has never occurred between other posters however I've never actually had it happen to me for seemingly no reason whatsoever. After 2 years away I wondered what had happened to many of the people that used to post quite often on the boards the answer was all pretty much the same. Perhaps I'm simply a bit confused but I always thought that debate was something one did with deliberation and common courtesy, not snark.

Snark, sarcasm, depiction of irony....are all useful tools in making a point.

Granted, I likely got a bit more snarky upon the realization that your view of things essentially dooms those who have suffered rape to being treated as (and enabled towards being) indefinite victims in all future personal encounters, so if you feel that my reaction was sharper than necessary in my response, then I'll apologize if you felt it was any kind pf personal attack rather than an attack on a bothersome worldview...but it's not as if we're extending the same presumptive courtesy to a man who is not here to defend himself against the commentary and demonization that this thread has wrought.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

Now, rather than allow this debate of ours to completely hijack this thread I'll let it go back to the original intent of the OP to get meaningful advice and opinions. Personally I'm just going to go with the ideology of agreeing to disagree with you. I don't know you, nor do I have the desire to debate you. Although I will add that I do appreciate your pointing out my misspell of vitriol. Good catch.

Well, while we're on the subject of assuming the OP is not capable of making good decisions if she feels emotionally manipulated by the prettiness of someone and someone's words, I suspect your view of coddling her self-victimization and painting of her ex as a bad, bad man who took advantage of a poor helpless soul will likely win out over the suggestion that she take responsibility of her life and the decisions she makes in it.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 11/16/2009 8:40:10 PM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)

Post #: 118

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 8:47:55 PM

Llyren

Posts: 637
Joined: 3/5/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

Actually, I very much believe she should get her head on straight and start taking responsibility for her life and her choices.     OP, I'm sure you're nice, and I do sympathize, but what you did was stupid anyway.

However, he did take advantage of her desire to please him. And it's not a 15 year age gap, it's 20. He's old enough to be her father, and he did take advantage of her.   If she had been arrested for being a hooker, he'd could also have been arrested for being her pimp.

There are lots of cases where women do stupid things because a man told them to do so. If she robs a bank because he told her to do so, he's still legally culpable.    But he knew she was in a weak place because she was raped. Did he suggest that she get therapy, or see a rape counselor? Did he even suggest that she press charges, or support her during the criminal procedure? No. His response was to suggest that she have sex with more random strangers, and to use that money to support him.

At this point, I'm far less interested in defending her bad choices as I am wishing there was some way to make sure this revolting person doesn't continue to hurt people. I'd love to see how he handles being gang raped, and whether he thinks being forced to blow random strangers and turn over the money to someone else tells him to do so makes him feel better.

_____________________________

I'm not perving. I'm compensating for my myopia. So nyah.

Member of Cock-Suckers for World Peace

"Character is what you are in the dark."

- Lord John Whorfin

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 119

RE: when a d/s relationship becomes pimp/prostitute - 11/16/2009 8:50:26 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

I'd love to see how he handles being gang raped, and whether he thinks being forced to blow random strangers and turn over the money to someone else tells him to do so makes him feel better.

As soon as he consents to it. Perhaps after suffering a severe emotional trauma, if you feel so bloodthirsty.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to Llyren)

Post #: 120

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