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ORIGINAL: rockspider

No you a totally wrong. It takes two to make a good marriage work. But it only takes one to make it crappy. I am sorry, but i have seen to many of them down the road. Bitchy, whiny, never satisfied with anything women who don't give a shit about the husband. He is just around as the mealticket and if he treatens to leave he gets the message she will do anything to prevent him from seeing his kids. Also many of those husbands hangs around hoping wifey will revert to the sweet little one he married. They don't really realise she never existed, just an act to get somebody on the hook. The moment she got her hooks sunk in the real bitch crawls to the surface. I don't say it is every woman. But i have seen a fair amount in my time. Actually they easy to spot. They carry absolute no guild for the failure of the marriage. They have a custody court batle behind them and they always bitch over how little money the ex pays them.

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ORIGINAL: CTJess

Although OP is conspicuously gone and probably did not have the best intent with this post, this is a GREAT thread.

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ORIGINAL: Elizabeth666

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ORIGINAL: SultryItalian

Cheaters are morons.

Well said :)

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

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ORIGINAL: CTJess

Although OP is conspicuously gone and probably did not have the best intent with this post, this is a GREAT thread.

The OP is not "conspicuously gone." What everyone here seems to keep missing is that theirs was not a lifestyle relationship. She discovered that he was contacted people on here and came to the forums for information and advice. Much of what was said was that people agree her husband betrayed her. All the bullshit about lifestyle situations doesn't apply to her situation, and the idiocy that she is just as bad as he is because she stumbled on some information and then went further to see how much was going on is enough to make anyone not want to post more.

"Choosing" to fill a void in the relationship is a decision that lacks honesty and integrity. Sure, there are years of being together, emotions, children, the whole lot. There is also the promise that was made to be faithful. Other than open marriages and poly situations where intimacy with others has been discussed, it is cheating. In other words it is going behind the person's back and doing something that you KNOW will hurt them and putting your feelings first.

I find it interesting that the same people who will openly say that if a "D" type violated an agreement that way, it is time to leave, but in a vanilla marriage, it is all about her "snooping." In both cases the outcome is the same, someone's trust was violated. If you "stumble" upon something you didn't expect and go to discuss it with that person, more often than not they are going to lie and try to get out of it. Hence the need for more information. Your typical marriage doesn't allow one spouse to tell the other that their sexual communications with another person are not the spouse's business.

Yes, you can find yourself being unsatisfied in your relationship. It still doesn't justify going out to find that satisfaction somewhere else. Telling them "if you can't give me what I need, I will find it somewhere else" doesn't mean you aren't cheating, just because you "told" them what you are going to do. Does it mean you suffer until you can get out of the situation? Yep. And if you can't manage to do that, don't be surprised when people in the future find you untrustworthy.

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ORIGINAL: MeBadGirl69

I have been e-mailing with a master, but he is married and his wife doesn't know anything about his online activities. I would love to meet him in person, but I don't know if that would be right. Should I enable him to cheat on his wife of many years? BTW - I am married also.

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ORIGINAL: IdiotMale

I actually prefer and encourage any woman I go out with to cheat on me.

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ORIGINAL: Lucienne


The part that I see, which you don't seem to acknowledge, is that people frequently have competing interests. We can't always all get what we want. Competition for limited resources is part of most of our lives. By competing for and winning a particular job, I'm willingly and knowingly "hurting" others who want that same job. It isn't my goal to hurt them. But it's an incidental effect of me pursuing my interests. You'd probably think it was silly to accuse a bride of willingly and knowingly hurting all the other women who have romantic intentions towards the groom. But there she is, the bride is interfering with those other women's interest. Of course, she does so with the consent and cooperation of the groom. In the same way that the cheater consents and cooperates with the woman he's not married to. It's not exactly the same thing. But it's closer than many people seem to want to admit.

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ORIGINAL: marie2

Your avatar speaks volumes.

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Elizabeth666, i'm sorry to say that situations like that are all too common in many relationships and I am so sorry you had to go through that. But you did do the best you could and you did the best you could for your daughter. Don't ever forget that.

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Yeah I know IE is absolutely awful but firefox doesn't seem to work right on my system. and i've only got 512mb of memory on this one so it would probably screw me around more than IE does now LOL

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