RE: training

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: training

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: training

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: training - 12/22/2009 7:18:30 AM

Posts: 180
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline

When did "train" become taboo? Is there some new "politically correct" word now? I don't get it. I know Dom's who call their subs sluts, whores, etc. and they enjoy that... but apparently saying you're "training" is crossing the line now? LOL

As LadyPact said above me, I don't really "train" on every day tasks (unless there is one she really doesn't know how to do). My training is on how I want things done and I think it's an appropriate word for what is being done. Some people mentioned "job training" and I think it's a good comparison. When you get to a new job, you may know a lot of the tasks they want you to do, but they still train you to do it their way, following their rules and policies. That's what I do.

_____________________________

My Opinion, Nothing More.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 7:20:51 AM

Posts: 3939
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

can we come up with a different concept than train/training?

Oh I forgot to actually reply - what exactly is it you're asking? Are you asking for a different word or a different dynamic?

I don't particularly like the word training either when it comes to D/s things because to me it either implies my knowledge is lacking or that he's trying to get some sort of pavlovian puppy response out of me. Something about the word just squicks me...but then again I guess the concept does too.

Training to me means that the dominant is actively and intentionally working through a process to mold the submissive into something new. I'm going to preface this with the standard "if it works for you it's fine" but for me it's not a desirable relationship dynamic.

I submit to him out of love. And to be honest I submit to him in ways that he doesn't even recognize, I can, off the top of my head, think of three major life decisions that I submitted to him in, that I'm pretty sure he never even thinks about or considers a form of submission - where we live, what type of wedding we're having, and whether or not we'll have children. The first is the only one that I didn't have a strong and definite opinion about.

And personally I think the fact that I'm willing to give up having kids, or the wedding of my dreams, or not fly back to visit the US every year or whatnot means a lot more than, say, him 'training' me to do something like calling him by some sort of title or honorific or something, or being trained to ask permission before I have breakfast, or other things like that which come to my mind when I think of the word 'training' - for me at least the only real submission I do is when it comes from the heart, when my reasoning is "because I love him" rather than "because he told me to" or "because he trained me to."

(in reply to osf)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 7:26:46 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

even a stricter definition of training would suffice. i think it's much misused. i've read many profiles of women that have a long list of things they were trained in, most of which is totally laughable, just my opinion

(in reply to Elisabella)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 7:53:08 AM

Posts: 3939
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

even a stricter definition of training would suffice. i think it's much misused. i've read many profiles of women that have a long list of things they were trained in, most of which is totally laughable, just my opinion

Well once one of them is yours, you can train her to use the word differently

(in reply to osf)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 7:57:38 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

even a stricter definition of training would suffice. i think it's much misused. i've read many profiles of women that have a long list of things they were trained in, most of which is totally laughable, just my opinion

Well once one of them is yours, you can train her to use the word differently

can't i just tell her?

training takes too long

(in reply to Elisabella)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 8:03:29 AM

Posts: 3939
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

even a stricter definition of training would suffice. i think it's much misused. i've read many profiles of women that have a long list of things they were trained in, most of which is totally laughable, just my opinion

Well once one of them is yours, you can train her to use the word differently

can't i just tell her?

training takes too long

Find her first. Then worry about the details.

Because for all you know you might not even have to tell her. As strange as it may sound (and it even sounds strange to me at 3 am) there might be a woman out there who's like, totally compatible with you.

The fact that I started typing "combustible" rather than "compatible" makes this prospect a bit worrying though.

(in reply to osf)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 8:10:22 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

even a stricter definition of training would suffice. i think it's much misused. i've read many profiles of women that have a long list of things they were trained in, most of which is totally laughable, just my opinion

Well once one of them is yours, you can train her to use the word differently

can't i just tell her?

training takes too long

Find her first. Then worry about the details.

Because for all you know you might not even have to tell her. As strange as it may sound (and it even sounds strange to me at 3 am) there might be a woman out there who's like, totally compatible with you.

The fact that I started typing "combustible" rather than "compatible" makes this prospect a bit worrying though.

maybe i'll just go kidnap one

(in reply to Elisabella)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 8:16:40 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/16/2009
Status: offline

can someone direct me to a site for protocol? thank you.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 8:22:55 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: marycnt

can someone direct me to a site for protocol? thank you.

google bdsm protocol

(in reply to marycnt)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 11:02:56 AM

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

but to perform everyday tasks shouldn't some instruction suffice?

yes it should. and if you find youreself a service orientated submissive she'll be happily performing tasks all day long for you, i imagine. but if you wanted her to do things she isnt used to doing or you wanted her to do things in a specific way then you would have to instruct her on that. add to that some high protocol about assuming a position when you walk into the room, keep her eyes down or whatever and she's never done that sort of thing before you need to instruct her on that too.

some people call it training you call it instruction. its a bit like the 'tomaytoe/tomato' thing

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to osf)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 11:06:43 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

being a dom seems like a lot of work

(in reply to lally2)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 11:11:15 AM

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

can we come up with a different concept than train/training?

I believe the term is "marriage"

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to osf)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 11:12:44 AM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
I believe the term is "marriage"

Cute, but I'm not particularly sure that one would work for Me. LOL.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to OttersSwim)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 11:19:12 AM

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

FR-

While I understand the analogy with a new "job," the point is that for me it is a relationship not a job. I prefer to think of many of the things as being "getting to know one another." In a good relationship, we all try to do things that make our SO happy. After all, doesn't a d-type "learn" what signals and ways of doing things gets the best response from their s-type? Some respond well to punishment, others to positive reinforcement. Of course these things should be discussed prior to entering the relationship, but the point is it is still "learning."

Being a bit anal retentive about things like folding, I can't imagine anyone telling me they have a more efficient way of doing it (yes it is pathetic that I have done a lot of trial and error to find a way to fold that makes things fit best in the space available). I think a big thing for me is that the end result is what is important in most tasks. I cook many things without measuring, it isn't necessary for the recipes. So for someone to come along and try to "train" me to measure things out because that is how they want it is just micro managing to me. Realistically in cooking, you want a tasty meal on the table, the process shouldn't be as important.

(in reply to OttersSwim)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 11:24:41 AM

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

being a dom seems like a lot of work

hm, well, ooooorrr, you could find one already trained or has had some experience

< Message edited by lally2 -- 12/22/2009 11:26:06 AM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to osf)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 11:26:30 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

cant i just keep her tied in the closet and take her out when i need her?

(in reply to lally2)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 12:11:51 PM

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

cant i just keep her tied in the closet and take her out when i need her?

of course you can. find someone who is happy to live in a closet and youre made.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to osf)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 1:33:37 PM

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

I believe Mercnbeth had a guy who wanted to live in their crawlspace. Maybe he would be interested

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to lally2)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 1:42:00 PM

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

While I understand the analogy with a new "job," the point is that for me it is a relationship not a job. I prefer to think of many of the things as being "getting to know one another." In a good relationship, we all try to do things that make our SO happy. After all, doesn't a d-type "learn" what signals and ways of doing things gets the best response from their s-type? Some respond well to punishment, others to positive reinforcement. Of course these things should be discussed prior to entering the relationship, but the point is it is still "learning."

Of course it is. My post was mostly in response to your assertion that animals are trained, people aren't.
That said, call it "getting to know each other", "teaching", "learning", "instruction", or "training"; it all pretty much comes down to the same thing, no matter what term is used.

quote:

Being a bit anal retentive about things like folding, I can't imagine anyone telling me they have a more efficient way of doing it (yes it is pathetic that I have done a lot of trial and error to find a way to fold that makes things fit best in the space available). I think a big thing for me is that the end result is what is important in most tasks. I cook many things without measuring, it isn't necessary for the recipes. So for someone to come along and try to "train" me to measure things out because that is how they want it is just micro managing to me. Realistically in cooking, you want a tasty meal on the table, the process shouldn't be as important.

Which is cool for you (it is for me, too), but some people on both sides of the kneel get off on things like micromanagement, exacting protocols, and the like.

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

RE: training - 12/22/2009 3:45:43 PM

Posts: 60
Joined: 12/18/2009
Status: offline

Honestly, though, isn't the whole 'training' thing about breaking down the walls we've contructed around ourselves, and to learn to put our power into the Master's hands?

And, for what it's worth, as a slave, I can cook a 5 course meal, make my own clothes, completely redo a bathroom, including plumbing, tiling, and the electrical, do simple fixes to the cars, and install a built in dishwasher (all of which I have done).

< Message edited by mstrslve4fun -- 12/22/2009 3:48:27 PM >

(in reply to Elisabella)

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: training

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.262