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RE: wiitwd - 12/22/2009 5:19:09 PM

osf

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quote:

Here, here.

the term is hear hear

comes from the english parliament, in the old days when one side would try to shout a speaker down, his side would yell back, hear him, hear him

and thats todays history lesson

< Message edited by osf -- 12/22/2009 5:20:03 PM >

(in reply to mstrslve4fun)

RE: wiitwd - 12/22/2009 5:24:10 PM

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Wow, I'm actually amazed at all the posts where people say they've never felt like not submitting AT ALL in years because it's so ingrained in their personality.

I feel like not submitting often. Sometimes it's because I don't want to do what he asks, sometimes it's because he gets too cheesy and I have an instinctive rebellious response, sometimes it's because I get sick of being held to a double standard, sometimes it's for other reasons that I can't think of off the top of my head.

What makes me do it anyway (except in the case of being too cheesy, if he wants me to say "yes master" or something the best he's going to get is a facetious recitation) is because I love him, or sometimes if that's not enough, because he gets this look and tone that I just respond to.

And sometimes I don't. Sometimes I just say no. He doesn't always accept the no if it's in his power to force me to do something but other times it's just no. I'm not a slave, I have choices. I haven't had to say no in quite awhile since we've lived together long enough to know the ins and outs of each other's personality...but yeah. I'm totally not a "true submissive" LOL

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: wiitwd - 12/22/2009 6:05:37 PM

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I think there's a difference between not feeling like submitting and not feeling like carrying out specific tasks. I always want to obey orders, I always want to be pleasing, I just sometimes wished he would have been pleased by me sitting on the sofa with him, not doing the dishes. Kind of splitting hairs maybe but that's how I feel. When I didn't feel like doing certain things I did them anyway, for a variety of reasons - love, because I am submissive, because I wanted to make him happy, to avoid punishment, to avoid losing a good thing, etc etc.

(in reply to Elisabella)

RE: wiitwd - 12/22/2009 6:07:58 PM

osf

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quote:

When I didn't feel like doing certain things I did them anyway, for a variety of reasons - love, because I am submissive, because I wanted to make him happy, to avoid punishment, to avoid losing a good thing, etc etc.

that is what the question is about, why do you carry on, what motivates you?

(in reply to afterforever)

RE: wiitwd - 12/22/2009 6:09:50 PM

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From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
When people are in a relationship and love each other though, we don't have times when we just don't "feel" like loving the person we have devoted our life to.

Actually, I'll disagree. There was a period of about three weeks last year when I didn't feel like loving him. For much of this summer I sure didn't feel like loving the teen. But I know that this is transitory.

After all these years together, I knew this was just short term. And I knew that once I got the teen straightened out, I could be more loving. So you fake it till you make it, and you realize that it is a short term problem. You also figure out what's causing it and talk about it.

_____________________________

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(in reply to LafayetteLady)

RE: wiitwd - 12/22/2009 6:12:40 PM

osf

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
When people are in a relationship and love each other though, we don't have times when we just don't "feel" like loving the person we have devoted our life to.

Actually, I'll disagree. There was a period of about three weeks last year when I didn't feel like loving him. For much of this summer I sure didn't feel like loving the teen. But I know that this is transitory.

After all these years together, I knew this was just short term. And I knew that once I got the teen straightened out, I could be more loving. So you fake it till you make it, and you realize that it is a short term problem. You also figure out what's causing it and talk about it.

yes, those feeling will pass and you'll feel good about things again, if you haven't done something stupid

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: wiitwd - 12/22/2009 6:18:35 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
The only options are to do what I am told or to end the relationship. That is a pretty strong motivator to do what I don't really want to do.

I think one needs to add that it is only a strong motivator because one wants to maintain the relationship. The next logical step is "what keeps you wanting to have the relationship?"

as one digs deeper... you find that root motivation that compelling all sorts of behaviors!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: wiitwd - 12/22/2009 6:20:00 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

wiitwd is understood more or less, the question i have is why do we do what we do, specifically regarding submissives.

part two is what keeps you going during those periods when you just don't fucking feel like it. i know true subbies never have those periods but have yet to meet that kind of true subbie

Discipline. Mine, not Hers.

Discipline is remembering what you want.

Ultimately I -want- this relationship with her, and thus I get out of bed when the alarm goes off at 5 a.m. to turn on the bathroom heater so She can have a warm bathroom to shower in...even when the room is cold, the bed (and She!) is warm, and I am bleary with sleep.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to osf)

RE: wiitwd - 12/22/2009 6:33:12 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

wiitwd is understood more or less, the question i have is why do we do what we do, specifically regarding submissives.

part two is what keeps you going during those periods when you just don't fucking feel like it. i know true subbies never have those periods but have yet to meet that kind of true subbie

i am submissive by nature, why i do what i do?...because i wanted to explore something deeper. And grace, grace keeps me going.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to osf)

RE: wiitwd - 12/22/2009 8:09:01 PM

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quote:

...Submission isn't a mood...

respectfully beg to differ, Aqua

...and this slave thinks that the distinction is why some folks are having such a hard time wrapping their minds around the comments made by others who have a different perception/experience with submssion in this thread.

it has been this slave's observation that folks simply do not perceive submission in the same way. for some folks, it most definitely is a "mood" or a "feeling", for others it's a role they get into from time to time that is completely opposite of their personality or a way to "graduate" into being respected by their community as a dominant, for some it's a straight up struggle/challenge, for others it's as easy as breathing in and out, etc. etc.

just because this slave can't imagine NOT wanting to submit to one's Master, or what submission "feels" or doesn't "feel" like, doesn't mean she will call bullshit on those who can and do or attempt to negate their experience with submision just because it is vastly different than what this slave has experienced.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: wiitwd - 12/22/2009 8:48:43 PM

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Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
When people are in a relationship and love each other though, we don't have times when we just don't "feel" like loving the person we have devoted our life to.

Actually, I'll disagree. There was a period of about three weeks last year when I didn't feel like loving him. For much of this summer I sure didn't feel like loving the teen. But I know that this is transitory.

After all these years together, I knew this was just short term. And I knew that once I got the teen straightened out, I could be more loving. So you fake it till you make it, and you realize that it is a short term problem. You also figure out what's causing it and talk about it.

I think you might be confusing the concept of not "liking" the person you love at the moment as opposed to not loving them. While I certainly don't mean that comment to have anything to do with your husband, I don't believe that at any time you didn't "love" your teenager. I'm sure you didn't like your teen very much (teens tend to be so unlikeable anyway), and maybe even wished that you didn't love them. But I've read your posts where you have talked about your children, and honestly can't believe that your love for them ever dwindled, they just were very unlikeable and difficult to deal with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

...Submission isn't a mood...

respectfully beg to differ, Aqua...and this slave thinks that the distinction is why some folks are having such a hard time wrapping their minds around the comments made by others who have a different perception/experience with submssion in this thread.

it has been this slave's observation that folks simply do not perceive submission in the same way. for some folks, it most definitely is a "mood" or a "feeling", for others it's a role they get into from time to time that is completely opposite of their personality or a way to "graduate" into being respected by their community as a dominant, for some it's a straight up struggle/challenge, for others it's as easy as breathing in and out, etc. etc.

just because this slave can't imagine NOT wanting to submit to one's Master, or what submission "feels" or doesn't "feel" like, doesn't mean she will call bullshit on those who can and do or attempt to negate their experience with submision just because it is vastly different than what this slave has experienced.

Reading the OP's statement, by "submitting" I take it as doing some of those tasks that are involved in submitting, not the "feeling," "mood," "state of mind," or in your case simply being who you are. When it comes to tasks involved in submission, everyone has moments of just not feeling like it for whatever reason. I in no way meant that someone just didn't feel like being who they were, more that there are times for everyone where we just don't feel like completing a given task at a given time.

I was in no way attempting to imply that people don't feel like being submissive. But hold to my position that no one feels like doing everything they are supposed to do at all times. I have yet to meet the person who at all times happily goes about all their daily tasks and never has moments of wanting to not have to do them. I can see where that might not have been clear in my statements but hope that it is clearer now.

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: wiitwd - 12/22/2009 10:34:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: afterforever

I think there's a difference between not feeling like submitting and not feeling like carrying out specific tasks. I always want to obey orders, I always want to be pleasing, I just sometimes wished he would have been pleased by me sitting on the sofa with him, not doing the dishes. Kind of splitting hairs maybe but that's how I feel. When I didn't feel like doing certain things I did them anyway, for a variety of reasons - love, because I am submissive, because I wanted to make him happy, to avoid punishment, to avoid losing a good thing, etc etc.

No I know, and I meant what I said...quite often I have no desire to obey, no desire to be pleasing (of course no desire to be displeasing either, and actually as a general rule I'm more concerned with 'does he love me' than 'do I please him') or anything like that.

In fact, when I do obey him, it's not because I have any desire to be obedient at all, but rather because I like to do things for him and make him happy. My first thought is never "he told me to do it so I should do it" even when I am in a submissive mindset, it's always "he wants this, and I like to be the one who gives him what he wants." Except when I don't LOL and that's when I keep hinting we should get a slave. Because even if the slave gives him the thing he wants (ie severe pain play) then *I'll* still be the one who gave him the slave!

(in reply to afterforever)

RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 5:16:26 AM

ranja

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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

wiitwd is understood more or less, the question i have is why do we do what we do, specifically regarding submissives.

in everyday life i am submissive because it is easier for me and i am inherently a bit lazy... is is much more difficult to motivate myself than it is to simply follow orders... especially if the orders are naf... i stall and find excuses if i have to do everything of my own back.

and sexually i like to get used... that is simply what makes me hot... so i need a Dominant to play with me rather than me being incharge... it is no good me being the boss because i get insecure and bored

quote:

part two is what keeps you going during those periods when you just don't fucking feel like it. i know true subbies never have those periods but have yet to meet that kind of true subbie

i am not often depressed and usually manage to see the humour in things... i do have the power to push myself along even if i don't fucking feel like it... i have a great imagination and spin stories for my own entertainment... or i might arrange for a break... ask for a holiday or a night out with my girlfriends, dancing always energises me too.

My main problem is not so much me not willing or incapable to submit but rather having to keep going when my Husband can't be bothered to boss me about because He simply does not feel like pushing all the time...
It helps when He needs a 'rest' if i might have a hot cyber fling...

(in reply to osf)

RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 5:41:59 AM

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quote:

...I have yet to meet the person who at all times happily goes about all their daily tasks and never has moments of wanting to not have to do them...

we were attending the Folsom Street Fair one year and a gentleman asked if he could photograph us. Master said yes and he immediately turned his huge camera lens directly to this slave's nipple and clicked away. when he was done, he asked Master, in all seriousness and with respect, how he got them that color. apparently, he had never seen pink nipples before and didn't know they existed, so he assumed there must be some sort of make-up or process to make them NOT a shade of brown.

and really, THAT is the same problem this slave has with your generalization as it applies to ALL who submit---it's just like the generalization of the pink nipple enthusiast---that since you have not personally witnessed it, it must not exist.

in almost 7 years, this slave has been happy to submit to the tasks He assigns and we have't had any fights or make-up sex, either...but that doesn't necessarily mean this slave is living a delusional life or not being truthful just because everyone else she knows or has met isn't happy to submit all the time or has fights and make-up sex with their partner.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 8:44:53 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

part two is what keeps you going during those periods when you just don't fucking feel like it. i know true subbies never have those periods but have yet to meet that kind of true subbie

What keeps me going is the happiness that I bring him. This morning for example, I got up at 5am to make sure he had his coffee, a warm towel after his shower, to make his lunch and to see him out the door by 6am. This was after having to pick up our daughter at midnight from an event she was attending. Sure I was tired and would have loved to stay in bed. He could have had coffee at the office, a cold towel, seen himself out the front door and bought lunch at the office. He was happy and deeply touched that I choose to get up and take care of him and the smile on his face was worth all of it.

kim

(in reply to osf)

RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 9:58:00 AM

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From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

...I have yet to meet the person who at all times happily goes about all their daily tasks and never has moments of wanting to not have to do them...

we were attending the Folsom Street Fair one year and a gentleman asked if he could photograph us. Master said yes and he immediately turned his huge camera lens directly to this slave's nipple and clicked away. when he was done, he asked Master, in all seriousness and with respect, how he got them that color. apparently, he had never seen pink nipples before and didn't know they existed, so he assumed there must be some sort of make-up or process to make them NOT a shade of brown.

and really, THAT is the same problem this slave has with your generalization as it applies to ALL who submit---it's just like the generalization of the pink nipple enthusiast---that since you have not personally witnessed it, it must not exist.

in almost 7 years, this slave has been happy to submit to the tasks He assigns and we have't had any fights or make-up sex, either...but that doesn't necessarily mean this slave is living a delusional life or not being truthful just because everyone else she knows or has met isn't happy to submit all the time or has fights and make-up sex with their partner.

beth,

I have told you in the past that not only myself, but I think many others are envious of the relationship you and Merc have. But as I said, we all have moments we wish we could sleep a little longer, have take out instead of cooking or suffer a migraine and want absolute darkness and silence. I don't mean that anyone isn't happy to submit, to serve or anything, merely that we all have moments where no matter how happy we may be serving our partner, outside forces such as exhaustion or sickness can have an effect on it. The easiest analogy I can think of is the new mother who is sleep deprived. It isn't that she doesn't want to get up once more time in the middle of the night to feed her beloved baby, it is that she is just so damned tired and would like nothing more than to get a bit more sleep. She loves her child, loves taking care of her child, would happily lay down her life for her child, but at that moment, she is exhausted and would also love to get more sleep. No, I'm not comparing taking care of a master to taking care of a child in any way. That was just the only analogy that I could think of that could be easily understood by nearly everyong because I don't know many new parents who haven't suffered that sleep deprivation. That and those moments we all have where we just have so much to do, and there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day. As we are laboring to get it all done, we have those moments where we just wish there was more time in the day or that one of the things we had to do could wait. It isn't a matter of not wanting to do what needs to be done, it is more a matter of needing to take a moment, catching our breath and then plugging forward. It has nothing to do with a lack of desire to complete the tasks.

As an aside, I don't remember saying anything about fights or makeup sex.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 10:00:06 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
I think you might be confusing the concept of not "liking" the person you love at the moment as opposed to not loving them. While I certainly don't mean that comment to have anything to do with your husband, I don't believe that at any time you didn't "love" your teenager. I'm sure you didn't like your teen very much (teens tend to be so unlikeable anyway), and maybe even wished that you didn't love them. But I've read your posts where you have talked about your children, and honestly can't believe that your love for them ever dwindled, they just were very unlikeable and difficult to deal with.

I did not feel any love towards him for a bit and I certainly did not feel loving towards the teen. I know the difference between not liking and not loving.

I frequently don't like him, when he's still ready to go and I'm ready to weep from exhaustion comes to mind.

But I don't go around wanting to nonconsensually beat children or send them away until they are of age, and that certainly happened. If one of mine became a serial killer, I think I would stop loving them. The teen's behavior was certainly very unlikable but his attitude prevented me from feeling loving towards him. My daughter frequently had me pulling my hair out, but I never stopped loving her.

Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that I couldn't feel any love. That it was in a bottle with the cork holding it in. The fact that it still existed didn't change the matter, whether it existed or not, it was not available to me at that time.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 12/23/2009 10:01:10 AM >

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 10:27:12 AM

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Joined: 7/30/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

wiitwd is understood more or less

Ok, 8 hours in a car with 3 kids has fried either my brain or my sanity. What in the world is wiitwd? I know I am going to slap myself in the forehead when someone tells me, but hey, it may jar something loose that will help me when I have to make the trip in reverse next week.

(in reply to osf)

RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 10:42:40 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ladynslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

wiitwd is understood more or less

Ok, 8 hours in a car with 3 kids has fried either my brain or my sanity. What in the world is wiitwd? I know I am going to slap myself in the forehead when someone tells me, but hey, it may jar something loose that will help me when I have to make the trip in reverse next week.

what it is that we do

(in reply to Ladynslave)

RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 10:48:31 AM

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Joined: 7/24/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Is it cause all the true subbies are kept in cages 24/7 by the true masters who were trained in secret European lairs?

Training in those secret European lairs is tough. When you're done they make you take a test using a scantron. You can't imagine what it's like if you forget to bring a #2 pencil.

_____________________________

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

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