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RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 6:21:41 PM   
osf


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(in reply to QuirkyAnne)
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RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 7:01:34 PM   
sweetsub1957


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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i know true subbies never have those periods but have yet to meet that kind of true subbie


And just what is a true subbie?  Words like "true" and "real" are just words.  Each person has their own ideas of what that is.  What's true to one person may be b.s. to the next.  I can only think this must've been sarcasm.  haha


the type of subbie that never has a problem serving

but isn't the doms job to see that occasionally she does have a problem with what is wanted?


When I was in a relationship, I never had a problem serving.  I might not really want to do some particular thing, but I always want to serve anyway.  It's a drive in me.  I'm made that way and can't imagine being any different. 

I wanted to please Him.  Even when He asked me to do something He knew I didn't like, I would still do it and enjoy pleasing Him. **

**He & I had an agreement to not go there w/ my hard limits.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 7:08:29 PM   
osf


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i know true subbies never have those periods but have yet to meet that kind of true subbie


And just what is a true subbie?  Words like "true" and "real" are just words.  Each person has their own ideas of what that is.  What's true to one person may be b.s. to the next.  I can only think this must've been sarcasm.  haha


the type of subbie that never has a problem serving

but isn't the doms job to see that occasionally she does have a problem with what is wanted?


When I was in a relationship, I never had a problem serving.  I might not really want to do some particular thing, but I always want to serve anyway.  It's a drive in me.  I'm made that way and can't imagine being any different. 

I wanted to please Him.  Even when He asked me to do something He knew I didn't like, I would still do it and enjoy pleasing Him. **

**He & I had an agreement to not go there w/ my hard limits.


what is hardly ever talked about is , what is the purpose of doing if i may say outlandish things he wants, they don't always serve an end in and of them selves, they aren't always a necessity?

and because he told me isn't an answer to the question

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 8:08:40 PM   
AnimusRex


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quote:

ORIGINAL: yellowroses
What keeps me going is the happiness that I bring him.
kim

On some level, us D types are never going to really get it. There is a part of submission that I don't think we can really understand. When Kim did those things for me, I appreciated it, but were the shoe on the other foot, I suspect that eventually I would up and say get yer own damn coffee.

But as they say, I don't have to understand it for you to enjoy it.

(in reply to yellowroses)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 8:44:38 PM   
sweetsub1957


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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

what is hardly ever talked about is , what is the purpose of doing if i may say outlandish things he wants, they don't always serve an end in and of them selves, they aren't always a necessity?

and because he told me isn't an answer to the question


haha  Okay.  Even if it's an outlandish order/request with no obvious end purpose, I do it because I love to please Him and serve Him how He wishes.  That is, serving and submitting is fulfilling to me in a way that nothing else is.  The drive to serve and submit is part of me, who I am.  I can't make it go away.  I am being true to who I am when I serve/submit.  If I were not allowed to serve and submit to Him, I would be very unhappy and very frustrated.  And most of all, I love to make Him happy and see Him smile. 

< Message edited by sweetsub1957 -- 12/23/2009 8:49:32 PM >

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 9:15:29 PM   
WyldHrt


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quote:

but isn't the doms job to see that occasionally she does have a problem with what is wanted?

Why would it be? I rather detest the concept that it isn't "weal & twue" submission unless the the sub is struggling to do something xhe truly hates.To my mind, life presents enough challenges and "bumps in the road" to a relationship, so why would a Dominant who is already getting everything s/he wants intentionally add "roadblocks" in the form of tasks s/he doesn't even desire?

While some get off on pushing a sub to hir limits, or beyond them, that isn't everyone's kink, nor should it be.

Oh, and as for your exchange with Merc, all I can say is LOL. 


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
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(in reply to osf)
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RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 9:32:53 PM   
osf


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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

but isn't the doms job to see that occasionally she does have a problem with what is wanted?

Why would it be? I rather detest the concept that it isn't "weal & twue" submission unless the the sub is struggling to do something xhe truly hates.To my mind, life presents enough challenges and "bumps in the road" to a relationship, so why would a Dominant who is already getting everything s/he wants intentionally add "roadblocks" in the form of tasks s/he doesn't even desire?

While some get off on pushing a sub to hir limits, or beyond them, that isn't everyone's kink, nor should it be.

Oh, and as for your exchange with Merc, all I can say is LOL. 



but for some of us it is and i make no secret of it, so it's informed consent on her part

(in reply to WyldHrt)
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RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 9:40:34 PM   
WyldHrt


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quote:

but for some of us it is and i make no secret of it, so it's informed consent on her part

That's not what you said in the post I replied to. You asked:
quote:

isn't the doms job to see that occasionally she does have a problem with what is wanted?

As phrased, the above implies that it is somehow the responsibility of a dominant to do such.
Therefore, the short answer to your question is: 'No'. the longer answer is: 'It depends on the dynamic, the people involved, and what has been agreed to'.


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 9:43:56 PM   
sweetsub1957


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Yes, everyone has his/her own kink.  We may not agree w/ each other's kink, but to each their own (kink).  lol

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 9:48:27 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		That's not what you said in the post I replied to. You asked:
quote:

isn't the doms job to see that occasionally she does have a problem with what is wanted?

As phrased, the above implies that it is somehow the responsibility of a dominant to do such.
Therefore, the short answer to your question is: 'No'. the longer answer is: 'It depends on the dynamic, the people involved, and what has been agreed to'.


it was a question and you gave your answer, which is cool

let's see what others have to say

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 9:50:36 PM   
osf


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Status: offline 		the problem i see in what we do is not what is done but that what is wanted is hidden in the beginning phases and sprung as a surprise

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 9:59:54 PM   
sweetsub1957


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Joined: 4/28/2009
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Yes.  Communication is important.  Everything should be upfront in the beginning to avoid problems like this.  It might be that sometimes a D type wants to know if the s type is willing to submit even when he/she doesn't feel like it, and that's why the every so often asking him/her to do apparently purposeless activities.  I can understand that.  At the same time, doing that all the time makes no sense to me.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 10:01:51 PM   
osf


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

~FR~
Yes.  Communication is important.  Everything should be upfront in the beginning to avoid problems like this.  It might be that sometimes a D type wants to know if the s type is willing to submit even when he/she doesn't feel like it, and that's why the every so often asking him/her to do apparently purposeless activities.  I can understand that.  At the same time, doing that all the time makes no sense to me.


you should read more female profiles

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 10:11:05 PM   
sweetsub1957


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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

you should read more female profiles



lmao  I'm sure You're right.  I guess I haven't been looking for those.  I do know that some profiles are really messed up.  I see sooooo many s type profiles that say they are no limits and I sometimes wonder if they just say that to get answers but don't really mean it.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 10:16:36 PM   
osf


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

you should read more female profiles



lmao  I'm sure You're right.  I guess I haven't been looking for those.  I do know that some profiles are really messed up.  I see sooooo many s type profiles that say they are no limits and I sometimes wonder if they just say that to get answers but don't really mean it.


no experience and big fantasies

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 10:29:52 PM   
InvisibleBlack


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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

you should read more female profiles


I don't know if you can take every "no limits", "3 holes to be used", "expect no pleasure or enjoyment", "your toy 24/7" profile as genuine. There are a lot of scams, fake ads and just plain false profiles out there - plus (I think) a leavening of inexperienced types who don't really understand what a 24/7 TPE relationship would be like and have their own sort of fantasy version in their head that they're pursuing.

People are human. People get upset, and cranky, and tired, and have a bad day and sometimes don't want to serve or don't want to be "in charge". That's life. Sometimes I come home from work and my engine is ready to go. Sometimes I come home from work and all I really want to do is just sit down and relax for an hour. A good sub would come to understand what my drivers were over time and adjust to what my needs were each day. As a dom, it's part of my "job" (if you will) to make clear what it is I expect and what would make me the most content or satisfied in each circumstance so my sub isn't struggling to figue out what's going on.

Likewise, I have known subs who enjoyed being surprised or challenged. Not in being constantly forced to do things they despised, but in that they derived a certain excitement from being pushed in certain directions - erotic or otherwise. I've known subs who were exactly the opposite - their comfort, their sense of security and worth, came from understanding their place in the relationship and having a sort of "safe haven" or well understood dynamic they were in where they felt loved, protected and secure - being pushed into something new and edgy for them wasn't an exciting challenge - it was anxiety inducing.

There is no "generic sub" or standard set of rules that you can just apply and expect all submissives (or all of any type of person for that matter) to react identically to. The two parts to success, in my opinion, is to first find a partner whose nature matches with yours - so that your drives are sympatico and that, as people, the directions you are growing in are going the same way. The second is to, over time, get to know your submissive as a person and expose yourself, as a person, so that you become comfortable enough with each other that the dynamic of your lives becomes innate, natural - it just happens, rather than being something you have to work at.

At that point, hopefully, the relationship is solid enough that the details will work themselves out.

_____________________________

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RE: wiitwd - 12/23/2009 10:36:17 PM   
sunshinemiss


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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

the problem i see in what we do is not what is done but that what is wanted is hidden in the beginning phases and sprung as a surprise


Ummmm not with everybody.  I don't recall that being an issue EVER for me. 

I do know that people change over time, things they are interested in shifts, ebbs and flows.  Sometimes people decide they DO want to try something they didn't before, but that is about being in an organically evolving relationship rather than having hidden agendas. 

I find that when I am open and speak my truth, it naturally gives other people permission to speak theirs. 

good luck,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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Profile   Post #: 97
RE: wiitwd - 12/24/2009 6:45:40 AM   
osf


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quote:

I don't know if you can take every "no limits", "3 holes to be used", "expect no pleasure or enjoyment", "your toy 24/7" profile as genuine. There are a lot of scams, fake ads and just plain false profiles out there - plus (I think) a leavening of inexperienced types who don't really understand what a 24/7 TPE relationship would be like and have their own sort of fantasy version in their head that they're pursuing.


when it's accompanied with a pic of less than the ideal female form, i tend to think it's from a real person expressing real desires

now whether those desires are from experience or fantasy is another matter

(in reply to InvisibleBlack)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: wiitwd - 12/24/2009 6:47:10 AM   
osf


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

the problem i see in what we do is not what is done but that what is wanted is hidden in the beginning phases and sprung as a surprise


Ummmm not with everybody.  I don't recall that being an issue EVER for me. 

I do know that people change over time, things they are interested in shifts, ebbs and flows.  Sometimes people decide they DO want to try something they didn't before, but that is about being in an organically evolving relationship rather than having hidden agendas. 

I find that when I am open and speak my truth, it naturally gives other people permission to speak theirs. 

good luck,
sunshine



fortunately you haven't gotten yourself ensnared with a jerk like me

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: wiitwd - 12/24/2009 7:28:51 AM   
persephonee


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quote:

I don't know if you can take every "no limits", "3 holes to be used", "expect no pleasure or enjoyment", "your toy 24/7" profile as genuine. There are a lot of scams, fake ads and just plain false profiles out there - plus (I think) a leavening of inexperienced types who don't really understand what a 24/7 TPE relationship would be like and have their own sort of fantasy version in their head that they're pursuing


Wait....you mean all that is not included in 24/7 TPE?.....*wants her money back*

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 100
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