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Loki45 -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (12/29/2009 5:39:04 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Aswad
Let's face it... prejudices are the inbred cousins of rules of thumb.
And, like rules of thumb, they originate somewhere before the inbreeding sets in (and I think it is a highly apt term for the process). Obviously, by the time you get to Cousin It, there's not much of the origins left, and those origins may have been questionable in the first place. But misandry has a pretty solid historical record to originate the prejudice, though it's still accurate to call it a prejudice, just one that has been internalized. Misogyny is not so different in terms of the end result, but has a poorer foundation, a less solid origin.
As such, misandry is far more understandable- and marginally more excusable- than misogyny.
No man or woman is born with a damaged relationship to the opposite sex. It starts from overgeneralizations based on bad experiences, or from being passed on from others, or from permeating the dominant culture in formative years. The ideal response is to deconstruct the prejudice and to demonstrate that it is not based on a representative truth, which is something that I've actually devoted a bit of time to. An important part of the response is to foster understanding of the real properties of the group that is subject to prejudice, and lately I have been pimping Dr. Tannen's work with that in mind, a recommendation I stand by. Knowledge is the sole cure for ignorance.
Of course, for willful ignorance, there is no cure. It's like with a rabid dog: sad, but putting it down is the only solution.
I don't think misandry is welcomed with open arms on this board, but just like kittinSol sees misogyny where I might be oblivious to it, so too do I see misandry being tolerated to a greater extent than I am comfortable with (and, yes, kittin, I'm uncomfortable with misogyny when I notice it, too). Far more frequently, though, I see people joke in a manner that may lead others to think real misogyny or misandry is intended. And I think that is encouraging- that some of us see it as a given that such prejudices are false, and accordingly think our jokes will be seen for what they are: humor by way of mocking said prejudices.
If a bit more time could be spent trying to bridge the gap in understanding and communication between androculture and gynoculture (and vice versa, obviously), and a bit less time were spent on propagating prejudices and getting all indignated over their existence, there would be far less of either kind going around after a short while. It certainly did have an impact on the Gorean boards, where it would be accurate to say that there's a stronger consensus that both genders be respected and that individuals be judged on their own merits than on most other points. (You hearing any of this, kittin?) And if it can work with us stubborn assholes, it should work anywhere.
So, if you find it sad, take the time to learn more about the differences between androculture and gynoculture, and go cure some ignorance. It makes a difference, and it beats lamenting the problem.
Your post was well-written, articulate and very well put-together overall.
However, in the words of "Bowen" from "Dragonheart" -- "I no longer try to change the world, dragon. I just try to get by in it."
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