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Aswad -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (12/29/2009 6:25:52 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Lucienne
I... what the fuck? "Androculture" and "gynoculture"? Where'd that shit come from?
It's not one culture and one language, taught to both genders. It's two cultures and two languages, with similarities, and the norm is to be raised into one of those cultures, speaking the language that fits that culture. Socialization is the main route by which one or the other is assimilated. The culture that most men assimilate is the androculture. The culture that most women assimilate is the gynoculture. The two are not interchangeable, though they are sufficiently compatible to allow most interactions to be passable, kind of like how someone from a hood area in the US might interact with the nobility in the UK and not necessarily bungle everything. There will be friction, though, unless someone reaches out to teach the differences.
A woman who has assimilated androculture, like my dear, exhibits many of the same behaviors as men, espouses a lot of the same values, has just as much trouble as a man in relating to women, and is likely to be confused with a man in a forum that doesn't list gender, or to be considered "one of the guys" at a predominantly male social event. The ways a woman would normally build social bonds are lost on a woman that has assimilated androculture. And vice versa.
Realizing that one is dealing with two seperate, valid cultures with superficial similarities is an important step in having better relations with each other. Imagine if you were to try to befriend someone from an oriental country, or the middle east, and insisted on interacting on your own culture's terms at all times. That certainly wouldn't give optimal results. If, on the other hand, both take the time to understand the differences, good results will be had.
An example from the author I mentioned is that men generally don't look too much at each other while speaking, and tend to avoid eye contact, whereas women will tend to keep their eyes on each other's faces. If the two speak with no understanding of this, the man may appear to be disinterested, or to not be paying attention, while the woman may be seen as overly intent and potentially confrontational, and neither is the case for either party.
Some of this stuff flies out the window in a D/s or M/s context, but other things remain.
Health,
al-Aswad.
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