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RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 6:30:22 AM

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire

this question is for any D/s relationship with strong s&m tendancies.
for me, some vanilla in a D/s relationship is needed. very much so. I want to see my Dominant is all encompassing in fulfilling my needs, submissive and sexual. I cannot divide that man in half. So I want to know for all you sub ladies out there how many of you get this desire fulfilled. For me, being eaten is very important. It means a lot. Its a compliment. Huge. I know it's a vanilla act. My Dominant wont do it and i am struggling with that. Ive tried in every submissive way to express it's importance to me. He can give it anyway and under any condition and I look and smell good. I'm not deformed. lol yet this is making me feel insecure because he won't go there. He says it's not part of our interaction. To quote: "As I've explained, the dynamic of D/s, for me, reveals itself in different ways sexually. We are not vanilla sexually. We are vanilla outside of the room." In every way else he pleases me but at this point i am very hurt. I don't know how to go on...for me it's not complete unless i get this sometimes...I don't feel cared for. Or appreciated. i don't think i'm asking for a lot...i'm so lost....so i just got to know if what i desire, beyond, whips and paddles and ropes is normal for anyone else.....

There is no way I have neither the time nor inclination at the moment to wade through what I imagine to be reams of interesting posts. So addressing the OP, I enjoy eating pussy ... clean pussy... clean female human pussy (altrhough I ha my suspicians about my local chinese takaway and the redical reduction of stray cats that I may have partaken in feline dum sums at times too and I have eaten cooked bush rat on occasions too.) For me it depends on both scent and taste. Too strong and I am not interested. I do know that often taste depends on the female's diet too.. Some foods bring out a strong gamy taste (like fresh venison or pheasant), some bring out a spicy or even bitter taste and other food items leave the pussy tasting sweet and delicious which leaves me wanting to go back for ore and have desert by nibbling on other parts of her body such a luscious breasts, neck and inner upper thighs.

_____________________________

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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(in reply to sweetboundesire)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 6:56:13 AM

Posts: 11766
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~ Fast Perspective From the 'Merc' side of 'Merc & beth' ~

No brag, no boast, no bullshit, and as neutral as it can be using the written form of communication...

Some are not considering this fundamental relationship cornerstone between us; I really really really don't have a consideration of beth's preference. What I do or don't do is a matter of MY preference.

And yes - from the get go I thought she was weird about this personal preference anomaly; even before realizing that was the tip of the iceberg about her 'weirdness'. I had not cum across any other women who had such an aversion to oral sex; well on the receiving side anyway. Giving oral sex is a pleasure I indulge her in regularly. Then again I had never been with a woman who was like beth in a great number of ways.

This 'quirk'? Like everything else, I'd have to be pointed to think about beth's desire. However, trust me, her participation in the act is as 'submissive' as her asking me for permission to use the bathroom. The only distinction between them is one is passive submissive, she's there when I choose the act; the other is passive, most times she asks for permission because I am not always aware of her personal needs concerning her bodily functions.

Which brings us to the OP...

Acts alone are not indicators of dominance and submission. Only the mental and emotional processing of those acts make them discernible in an D/s context. I'm sure that some can use the assigned stereotypes, or S&M 'textbook', to rationalize their personal preference (or aversion) to any activity or act. Maybe that's what's happening in this case.

quote:

To quote: "As I've explained, the dynamic of D/s, for me, reveals itself in different ways sexually. We are not vanilla sexually. We are vanilla outside of the room." In every way else he pleases me

You need to get a dynamic of D/s that moves from the focus on "me" and gets more focused on 'us'. The flavor of your sexuality is immaterial as is how anyone else perceives it. The location for that dynamic doesn't matter either.

However, the "pleases me" is problematic. It gives you a few options. Talk to your dominant and get him to understand this personal need and try to get him to amend his view of this as an act of submission. Or get him to cum clean about it being a something he just doesn't like and/or wants to do. Or define your submission to include the ability to dominate your partner on this one issue; finding a person compatible and willing to consider what pleases you within his/her definition of 'dominance'.

Good luck & have fun!

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 1/9/2010 7:10:08 AM >

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 7:01:23 AM

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

I think and no offense Beth that for *you* it isn't a vanilla act, instead of a broad brush disclaimer. I mean how many of us before becoming whatever we call outselves in this lifestyle engaged in oral sex? Lots. Yay..

no offense taken, Aynne88. this slave doesn't believe in generalizing activities as vanilla/non-vanilla...it's the intention and participants that make things vanilla or not. which is what she was trying to get across when she said : it's an act all sorts of folks of all orientations participate in.

quote:

Aynne,
Love ya but ya misread, She never called it a submissive act. She just said she didnt like it but she submits to it because its what HE wants.

thanks, lushy. that's a lot closer to what this slave meant. it is never a desire for her, but is sometimes a desire for Master---and she submits to His desires, like it or not.

quote:

...Not to speak for beth, but I believe that she was saying that for her it is a submissive act. The OP's Dom said that he doesn't do oral on her because it is "vanilla". I believe the point being made was that the same sexual activity can be "vanilla" or "kinky", depending on those involved and how said act happens within the relationship.
I'm quite sure beth will correct me tomorrow if I'm wrong...

thanks, Wyld. you are correct. eating pussy, as a stand alone concept, doesn't strike this slave as a vanilla OR non-vanilla act. it could be either, depending on the participants. in the context of the relationship this slave is in and her position in the relationship, having her pussy eaten, is an act of submitting to His desire.
and because he knows it is uncomfortable for this slave and something this slave does not enjoy...guess what the sadist in Him really enjoys from time to time? Hmmmmmm?

Beth thanks so much for the detailed clarification, I appreciate that you took the time to do that :) I get you now girlie ;) Also thanks to Merc for expounding on it below. Hope you both have a great weekend.

.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 7:05:29 AM

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Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Agreed. And after I was e-mailing some years ago on ALT to a nearby gentleman. I went through his checklist that they have on that site under the profiles. Under recieving oral, the box was checked "YES". Under giving it said,"No Way". So I asked him in e-mail and he said it wasnt dominant. I asked him why he thought pussy was bad. He insisted it had nothing to do with that. He said that going down was a submissive act." Well", I thought,"how is it not dominant if I am tied up and he is telling me when I can and cant cum?"

Anyhoo, I was glad that I knew this info ahead of time. The last thing I wanted was another man who didnt and the rare times I requested wasnt any good at it. So someone enthusiastic is what I seek. Its also a question I have learned to ask ahead of time.

Not to throw a monkey wrench into this discussion but here is another angle. For years... decades, to be honest... I was never much interested in going down. I dabbled at it a few times with a few women and it just didn't speak to me. Something spoke to me to try it one day with mine and I loved it and still love it and by all indications so does she. Does that mean I will love it with my next partner (if there ever is one) or the one after that? Not necessarily. So my honest answer to the checklist would be "Giving it: Yes. Giving it to you (generic you): Maybe".

Before anyone mentions it the vast majority of those past relationships were ended by me at the objection of the other party - i.e. they didn't dump me because I didn't go down on them. To that end it didn't seem to matter to them or at least they never said anything. I have never ever had a woman ask for oral sex and I have been in enough relationships that a mathematician might call it a statistically valid sample. I think it's great that you and others do think about it and ask about it but in 30 years I've never met a woman who does or did.

I was very suprised to find out, some dont like it at all and find it a displeasure. I knew some didnt care either way, but that was a revelation.

_____________________________

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(in reply to DomImus)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 7:46:39 AM

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Joined: 7/14/2007
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i won't ask for stuff like this, i just do without.

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(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 7:53:20 AM

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Joined: 8/9/2007
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I was talking to my girlfriend about this the other day. She had just met a new guy (they are vanilla) and gone on 3 dates. She invited him to stay over and they had sex for the first time.

He asked her to give him a blow job. she did, but he never reciprocated. The only way she can cum is through oral sex. I asked her if she said anything. She did not. I asked why. She said she was "too embarrassed". He did not seem too shook up about her not getting off. We have no idea what he would have done if she had asked or told him.

After I got done yelling at her, I wanted to add to this discussion that there are many women who can only orgasm from oral. If you are going to be too embarrassed to speak up about getting your needs met, you will never get them met. This is for anyone, Dom/sub. No one should be afraid to ask for what they want and need and if your partner won't provide it, get a new one.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 1/9/2010 7:54:15 AM >

(in reply to breatheasone)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 7:56:52 AM

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SexyRed1, i understand how your friend felt, and i feel for her, VERY much.

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(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 7:58:12 AM

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Joined: 12/29/2006
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I haven't seen the obvious question in a quick read: is he bi-?

(in reply to sweetboundesire)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 8:00:10 AM

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breatheasone, she is very shy and always has been and has always had problems asking for what she needs. It just occurred to me long after this thread went on that that was a really big point that was missed. Most guys can get off from any type of sex, but so many women, pretty much everyone I know, can only do so from oral.

And whether you are Dom or sub or vanilla, it is important to be true to yourself and not sacrifice something so important. Well, important to me at least. Some may not feel sex is important or as important. But I think it speaks to chemistry, compatibility and long term satisfaction in a relationship.

(in reply to breatheasone)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 8:01:34 AM

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Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

I haven't seen the obvious question in a quick read: is he bi-?

i've missed the obvious before but, why is this an "obvious" question?

_____________________________

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candy posts in pink font

(in reply to Tantriqu)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 10:26:56 AM

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
clean female human pussy (altrhough I ha my suspicians about my local chinese takaway and the redical reduction of stray cats that I may have partaken in feline dum sums at times too and I have eaten cooked bush rat on occasions too.)

lol lol I love that clarification.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 10:42:27 AM

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Pygromanche
Oral is conditioned into us as being something that the little fast tailed girl did, and got a ruined reputation. But the guy of course was always praised as being "the man" because he got a girl to suck on his little cock within this same conversation it always turns to the possibility of the guy eating out the girl...going down on her. And for most, not all mind you, but yes for a great majority this is when it is ingrained into guys that if the tables were ever turned HE would be the one viewed as being "nasty" and it would be his reputation that would end up sullied. He would become the dirty, slutty whore.....what everyone was calling the girl.

This kills me, that some guys think it's okay to have a girl do what they consider dirty and nasty, but it's not okay for them to do it for her. I can see the reasoning behind it though.

quote:

Some may enjoy oral but still think, way in the back of their minds that by performing oral you are allowing your tongue to be used for someone else's pleasure, which in short equates to subservience...especially since you receive no sensory pleasures yourself as the giver.

I love to eat pussy. I may be the only gal in this thread so far who's admitted to that. I love the taste, the smell, her squeals and wiggling from me doing it, the warm tinglies it gives me when I'm doing it. Who says there're no sensory pleasures to giving it? hehe

I just don't understand the squeamishness of guys who won't do it when they love to get their cocks sucked. I mean, geez, it's not roadkill...........

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to Pygromanche)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 10:43:35 AM

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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I will be honest with you Red, I have had much more concern given to me regarding my orgasms with vanilla men than was ever the case with dominants. I do not know why this is, but for me, it means alot when a guy will ask me how I orgasm and what I like, then does it. I'm pretty much done with giving the unreciprocated oral sex. If that makes me less subly, then wow, do I not care!

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(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 10:47:02 AM

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Some people don't like the taste or smell of certain meat or fruits or what have you. Not that big a leap that some people don't like cunnilingus. Not that big a deal imo. If ya like it ya like it. If you don't then you don't. Just find someone that enjoys it as much as you do if you like to partake in that as part of your meal on a regular basis.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 11:38:55 AM

Posts: 75
Joined: 11/13/2009
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So, I know that it was mentioned that going down on a submissive woman isn't being dominant and I know I made a joke about it somewhere (CROMINANTS UNITE) but I only have to ask this:

If I have my sub on the bed with her hands tied behind her back and her legs tied behind her leg as she's gagged and I'm giving her repeated orgasms with my tongue... is that not being dominant?

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 12:13:24 PM

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire

this question is for any D/s relationship with strong s&m tendancies.
for me, some vanilla in a D/s relationship is needed. very much so. I want to see my Dominant is all encompassing in fulfilling my needs, submissive and sexual. I cannot divide that man in half. So I want to know for all you sub ladies out there how many of you get this desire fulfilled. For me, being eaten is very important. It means a lot. Its a compliment. Huge. I know it's a vanilla act. My Dominant wont do it and i am struggling with that. Ive tried in every submissive way to express it's importance to me. He can give it anyway and under any condition and I look and smell good. I'm not deformed. lol yet this is making me feel insecure because he won't go there. He says it's not part of our interaction. To quote: "As I've explained, the dynamic of D/s, for me, reveals itself in different ways sexually. We are not vanilla sexually. We are vanilla outside of the room." In every way else he pleases me but at this point i am very hurt. I don't know how to go on...for me it's not complete unless i get this sometimes...I don't feel cared for. Or appreciated. i don't think i'm asking for a lot...i'm so lost....so i just got to know if what i desire, beyond, whips and paddles and ropes is normal for anyone else.....

Some people believe that sex is part of D/s dynamic, while others believe that sex is part of the man /women dynamic and totally separate. This is an individual choice; there is no right or wrong, just preference. Am I to understand that you do not engage in sexual activities at all, or just this particular one? If there is no sexual activity, then his statement “Not part of the dynamic” would be believable.

However, if it is just that he is incapable of engaging in oral sex with you, and then it could many things. He could have an issue with you, he could be being selfish or he may be self conscious about his lack of experience in this area and may not wish to be seen as inept in your presence. He may view it as a submissive act and being the dominant, is having a problem processing this.

You initially said that you were lead to believe that oral may be “attainable”, but then later you were told it was not part of the dynamic. I have serious concerns about this statement. I do not believe that if it is not part of the dynamic now, it never was. This being the case, it appears either you totally misunderstood what your partner said the first time or your partner was less than candid with you.

I am curious why you would allow some ones lack of desire for oral sex effect your self esteem? Why would you not see it is “His loss” At no time should anyone allow another person to determine their self worth, and if you are doing this, then you have a more serious problem then simply getting a sexual desire met.

I could understand your statement about not wanting to be someone who does not engage in oral sex if it were the only way that you could achieve sexual gratification. But from all of you statements about this man, it seems that he has done quite a bit for you and you are quite satisfied with everything other than this one area. Part of being in a relationship is about compromise. Part of being an adult is realizing we don’t always get everything we want and we learn what things are truly important in life.

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(in reply to sweetboundesire)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 12:18:11 PM

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Joined: 4/28/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
Some people don't like the taste or smell of certain meat or fruits or what have you. Not that big a leap that some people don't like cunnilingus. Not that big a deal imo. If ya like it ya like it. If you don't then you don't. Just find someone that enjoys it as much as you do if you like to partake in that as part of your meal on a regular basis.

Yes, I can certainly see your point. I think what really got me was more that some guys see no problem with gals sucking them, but wouldn't ever consider eating the gals.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JBGolden
If I have my sub on the bed with her hands tied behind her back and her legs tied behind her leg as she's gagged and I'm giving her repeated orgasms with my tongue... is that not being dominant?

haha Yeah, I'd say so. The first time Sir did it to me, I was tied down......I think to make sure I knew it was HIS idea......

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to JBGolden)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 12:32:33 PM

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Joined: 5/2/2006
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The op is from Wisconsin. I have cum across alot of stanky snatch from my northern home state. I believe that many Packer gals utilize string cheese as a tampon. Leaving a rather nasty overall and devastating end result on the ol' snatcharooo.

Wisconsin is an odd place. Small factoid. Did you know that in Appleton, Wi that magazine publishers such as Glamour and Cosmo simply recirculate issues from the period of '77 through '82 and pass them off as new? It's all in the fashion and the hair styles.

The land where the ground and time froze.....(and pussies smell like poo.)

< Message edited by domiguy -- 1/9/2010 12:34:18 PM >

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(in reply to sweetsub1957)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 12:41:34 PM

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Pygromanche

It isn't until college when they discover the joys of oral sex and experiment that a good slathering figure out "Hey oral sex is great!" Then you have that slim minority who are too chicken shit to overcome their conditioning and NEVER try it out. Because in their minds they still correlate oral to being a dirty nasty thing. Some may enjoy oral but still think, way in the back of their minds that by performing oral you are allowing your tongue to be used for someone else's pleasure, which in short equates to subservience...especially since you receive no sensory pleasures yourself as the giver (this is for some.... definitely not for me ;p lol).

;p Lady Py

I really have to disagree with you here. Yes, most women have been told since they were young that only "bad girls" give blow jobs. But they were also for many years told the same thing about pre-marital sex. I think it is a bit of a leap to think that guys have transferred that "bad girl" idea to the concept of giving oral sex.

Most girls are still raised that being demanding about sex is a bit "un-ladylike." So, like Sexyred's friend, they don't ask for what they want. Personally, I have enjoyed anal sex almost as long as vaginal sex. But for a very long time, it was really difficult to fill a guy in on that fact early on in the relationship. Admittedly, it was the social concepts that were in play. So many guys want anal sex, but so many also like to think they are the first to do it with their girl. Oops.

Now of course, I no longer have any of those problems. A guy would know right from the beginning that if he wasn't into anal sex, I wasn't going to be into him. Years ago, it would take most women many years to get to that point. Now, younger women are thinking that way much sooner, which is great.

Years ago, I had a conversation with my son when he asked about "cocksucking" (ain't schoolyards great). He knew what it was, but the questions came about the female equivalent. His immediate response was "EWWWW, YUK, I'm never going to do THAT." I asked him if someday he would like a woman to do that to him and of course, the response was a resounding yes. I pointed out to him (one of those moments where being a single mom is great, no dissenting opinion), that if he wanted to GET it, he should really be able to GIVE it. Flash forward a bunch of years...he gives it more than he gets it AND he likes it.

In the end, as beth has pointed out, nothing is specifically a vanilla act or a non-vanilla act. In their relationship, if Merc calls beth and tells her what to make for dinner, what time it should be on the table, etc., for them that isn't a specifically vanilla act. The perception of the people involved will make all the difference.

For the OP, I see much bigger issues than the simple concept that he won't go down on her. Personally, it isn't that big a deal to me (it might be if Gene Simmons with his tongue were doing it, hee hee), but that's a personal decision. With the OP, he led her to believe that it was something that might happen. I also personally have issues with dominants who do the whole "if you are a very very good girl, I *might* reward you with "x." I'm not dissing those who like that, but it isn't for me, that's for sure.

He mislead her, that is a bigger problem than what he now will or won't do. That coupled with the other things the OP has said, it just appears that she is the only one who really has invested emotionally in the relationship.

(in reply to Pygromanche)

RE: eating pussy - 1/9/2010 1:35:23 PM

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire

this question is for any D/s relationship with strong s&m tendancies.
for me, some vanilla in a D/s relationship is needed. very much so. I want to see my Dominant is all encompassing in fulfilling my needs, submissive and sexual. I cannot divide that man in half. So I want to know for all you sub ladies out there how many of you get this desire fulfilled. For me, being eaten is very important. It means a lot. Its a compliment. Huge. I know it's a vanilla act. My Dominant wont do it and i am struggling with that. Ive tried in every submissive way to express it's importance to me. He can give it anyway and under any condition and I look and smell good. I'm not deformed. lol yet this is making me feel insecure because he won't go there. He says it's not part of our interaction. To quote: "As I've explained, the dynamic of D/s, for me, reveals itself in different ways sexually. We are not vanilla sexually. We are vanilla outside of the room." In every way else he pleases me but at this point i am very hurt. I don't know how to go on...for me it's not complete unless i get this sometimes...I don't feel cared for. Or appreciated. i don't think i'm asking for a lot...i'm so lost....so i just got to know if what i desire, beyond, whips and paddles and ropes is normal for anyone else.....

Vanilla? I thinks not! Tis an iniquitous indulgence... I might add, muh fav indulgence at that. (Clears throat and whips out my bestest Sam Elliot voice) Pussy... it's what's fer dinner.

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(in reply to sweetboundesire)

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