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RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/24/2006 11:12:35 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
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Anyone who expects to be called Master by a sub not his own deserves whatever name the sub chooses to call him. I start with doofus myself.

Titles should not be assumed, whether it's a Dom or Domme. To have a relationship where you expect to be referred to by title is an exchange of respect and commitment. If you expect or give that away to everyone it is worth nothing, it's commonplace. I'm not going to call anyone Sir, Master, etc. until I genuinely feel that way about them. I expect the same as a Domme.

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RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/25/2006 12:09:21 AM

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I have no problems refering to any gentleman as Sir, and any Lady as Ma'am. But Master. is reserved for the one that would own me. And only when he has Mastered me. I have been know to when refering my Dom to others, call him Master. But it's only because I have permission to, because its easier on me. And depending on how far into the relationship we are.

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RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/25/2006 1:20:58 AM

Posts: 188
Joined: 11/8/2005
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ok Here's My Answer if They are Gorean I'm Mistress if they are nice and in the BDSM lifestyle it's Lady Neets But I usually go by the name Neets and Only My full Name if I'm in Trouble which is rare...LOL

Neets aka Lady Neets

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RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/25/2006 1:44:29 AM

Posts: 231
Joined: 10/22/2005
From: South Dakota
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveHIS

slaveHIS is throwing this subject out for any Master to comment on. In a BDSM setting such as a munch or play party, et cetera, do you wish to be referred to sas Sir or your given name? Master received an email from the moderator of our local area group. She called Master by his given name, and Master and slaveHIS think this is wrong. In her reply email, she said it is easier for her to do this in meetings and in social gatherings, and also she indicates her Master is linient in this manner. Perhaps, she does not know it is proper etiquette.

So, would you prefer to be called Sir or your given name if attending meetings or social gatherings that include munches and play parties?

Basically i prefer to be addressed with respect. If the respect is there, then all is good. If not, then there will be issues to be taken up with my sub at a later time.

(in reply to slaveHIS)

RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/25/2006 4:05:11 AM

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Don't W/we all wish to be addressed/treated with respect? Why is this a "Master" only question?

candystripper

(in reply to dincubus)

RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/25/2006 6:09:53 AM

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Maybe because it's in the Ask a Master section.

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RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/25/2006 8:00:16 AM

Posts: 60
Joined: 5/13/2005
From: Metro Detroit Michigan
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Usually in a first meeting the people exchange names that they wish to be be addressed by. In our circle most just use first names others uses titles or honorifics for lack of a better work. None tell others to call them Master Somename. For a Dominant to require one that they are just meeting to call them Master or Mistress Somename is presumptious (sp?) and popmus. I have told many to NOT call me Sir or Master until they feel I deserve that honorific. To have them do otherwise to me lessens the meaning of it.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/25/2006 8:01:59 AM

Posts: 701
Joined: 1/2/2005
From: Petaluma (Northern California)
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I introduce myself to people using my name, and that is how I wish to be addressed.

If I enter into a D/s relationship with someone, and it aids their headspace to refer to me as Sir, that is acceptable, though not a requirement.

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RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/25/2006 8:04:02 AM

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Joined: 6/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Laura

Titles should not be assumed, whether it's a Dom or Domme. ...

I can think of quite a few FemDoms that will quickly put a boot into the 4th point of contact of anyone who addresses them as "Ma'am".

There have also been people who addressed me as "Master"... not "Master Thorns" or "Master _____".. just "Master" Now this irks me a bit... but I'm not the one they had to worry about. It's the well trained (in a variety of weaponry) and (fortunately for them) well disciplined slave straining against her leash to get at their throat that they need to be concerned with.

So...I agree...assume nothing.

~Thorns

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RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/25/2006 8:09:29 AM

Posts: 1047
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My name works well, if I am in a scene with someone then sir does the job. Master is reserved for my little one, though most of the time she just calls me Daddy. I normally refer to other by their names, unless it is a very formal setting where everyone understands the ules of the moment.

K

(in reply to Manawyddan)

RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/25/2006 9:09:13 AM

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Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
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Lady H works for me .. most of the time .. I am called MyLady by those I own .. I do not like being called Mistress by anyone .. a personal quirk. Ma'am is always a safe response.

I expect my submissive to say yes Sir and yes Ma'am to anyone they do not know to be submissive or slave.... growing up in the South it is just common courtesy.
I also do not allow them to call anyone Master or Mistress...if they are close friends of ours .. they may be allowed to call them " Master XXXX or Mistress PXX" as a sign of respect and affection.

I also instruct them "when in doubt ask me" .. and I would have a quiet chat with anyone that demanded my submissive call them Master or Mistress.

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To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

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RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/25/2006 12:39:31 PM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: preciousgem

i am just a slave but i can tell all what my Master would care for me to do.
i am to try and call Dom/Domme's by Sir or Ma'am if i can rember, or unless they tell me to use Their names.

I have heard other submissives say this, as well, but I have to say, if a sub came up to my dom at a munch and addressed him as Sir, or Master, the hair on the back of my neck would raise. He did not consent to be your dom, your master, your sir...or even your friend.

If I call someone Sir, it's because I have developed a relationship in order to get to the point where that imtimacy is an accurate statement of our relationship, and I don't feel very happy about someone else walking right up, and assuming a similar intimacy.

And the same goes for someone calling me girl, slut, slave, etc...They have no right to do so, until I have consented to it.

By the way, even my past dominants have never heard me use the title master. I have a deep belief that for me, this will imply a lifelong D/s commitment. If my partners of several years haven't been given that title by me, then why would I bestow it on a stranger???

Cin

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RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/25/2006 12:52:39 PM

Posts: 309
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I think that Master should ALWAYS be used-except where He has specifically requested to be addressed that way

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RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/25/2006 1:36:50 PM

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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I often wonder why doms somehow should get a push of respect for happening to have been born with a certain orientation but somehow slaves and subs aren't to be respected.

Frankly, I don't treat people differently because of their orientation. I treat people differently based on whatever personal relationship they have with me.

Ds is a personal relationship orientation- it's not a social status.

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RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/25/2006 11:41:03 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterBenedict

I think that Master should ALWAYS be used-except where He has specifically requested to be addressed that way

Are you talking about how a slave would refer to her/his Master? Or any submissive referring to any Master? If the former, that is understandable; if the latter, then i'm afraid you & i won't be speaking

(in reply to MasterBenedict)

RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/26/2006 12:42:03 AM

Arpig

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From: Increasingly further from reality
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Unless your Master is in the military and is dealing with a subordinate rank, or has been knighted, he has no right to the honorific "Sir", therefore if he likes being called "Sir", then he had damned well better earn it, like everybody else does.
To insist that anybody other than your sub/slave call you Sir is asinine, and arrogant, and would get you laughed at heartily by myslef.

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RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/26/2006 4:35:31 AM

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slaveHIS wishes to thank Each of You who tookYour time to address this post. It is slaveHis' feelings that a liberty was taken by the moderater of our group to call Master (Capt Craig) by his given name in the email, as did Master. Familiarity even in the email setting by subs or slaves NOT KNOWING any Master that well is improper.

slaveHIS refers to Master (Capt Craig) by Master even in the privacy of our home. It is only in events involving family members that we each refer to the other by our given names. (That, I hope, is mutually understood by all here.)

But, for THOSE slaves and subs who do NOT know any master well), they should refrain from calling that Master by His or Her given name. No matter how long the length of time they have known this particular master, even if their master is lenient and gives an okay. The master called by the given name may not like it because it shows lack of respect.

Anyway, slaveHIS thanks Each of You who have taken the time to respond. she is planning on doing a topic on slave etiquette at one of the meetings down the road.

(in reply to slaveHIS)

RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/26/2006 5:19:16 AM

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
I thought you'd be the "YOUR HIGHNESS" type.

Ok, I'll come out with it; usually I have them refer to me as Satan, my Father.

I KNEW IT... you was one of satan's spawns.. we're related!!!... my daughter I know is one of his kids too!... lmao

Hey. my daughter too...she's the bi-polar one to the right...
Ave Satanas
Regae Satanas
Hail Satan

LOL
C

Ermmmmm if we are about to commense the Black mass wait for me to grab the 21yo Virgin for the virgin sacrifice.........

< Message edited by IronBear -- 3/26/2006 5:20:57 AM >

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(in reply to CERCKL)

RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/26/2006 5:31:59 AM

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Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

I figure everyone should address me as God.

Sadly, it never works out that way, so I often have to settle with "Paul" (which is pretty close, truth be told). *grin*.

To be honest, I really dislike being addressed by someone who isn't attached to me as Sir or Master or anything of the sort. Those titles are reserved to those I am with, not for the general public. Just the use of my name is fine, so long as people are polite.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to the tone of how I'm addressed, not the form that is used.

...Paul

< Message edited by Darkfall -- 3/26/2006 5:32:34 AM >

(in reply to slaveHIS)

RE: How Do You Wished to be Addressed - 3/26/2006 5:40:42 AM

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

I really like formalities. Like I will call the Doctor Doctor, the Sister Sister, the Policeman Sir, why cant people just relax in BDSM and allow titles to be used *grin*

Everyone is always trying to control everything "You cant call me this" "You cant call me that" "If you call me this I'm gonna think this of you" "If you call me that I'm gonna think that of you". (not being disrespectful of peoples views here, just having a little fun with it).

When I call a Doctor a Doctor, I'm not really saying anything about him other than recognising his role to my patient relationship, he could be the worst damn doctor there is..I may never ever go back to him, but in my mind, he is still a doctor...and if another Doctor walked into the room, I would call him Doctor too.

I really dont get what the problem is with calling Dominants Sir or Maam or Master or Mistress...if its just like the doctor thing..as a respect for the roles within our lifestyle though...its not saying about the quality of one they are being..its just a recognition of their stance if you like...its kinda nice

If anyone wants to call me slave they can, I wont be offended nor will I think they are presuming themselves as my Master......this whole thing doesnt make sense to me.

P.S. Welcome to the boards God Sir *grin*

< Message edited by slavejali -- 3/26/2006 5:49:36 AM >

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