SimplyV
Posts: 351
Joined: 11/5/2005 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful A threat to my position...nope. An arrogant assumption, yes. It creates a false imtimacy and I deplore insincerity. I apologize, you did say Sir, and I read it wrong. But it doesn't change my stance. Perhaps, if I were in the south where it was common to address men as Sir then no, I wouldn't have an issue. Otherwise, it's just another show of unsolicited submission. Cin I agree with you on the "denotation of relationship" in calling someone else "Master" or "Mistress" which isn't your Dominant. I also equate it to some woman calling my husband "husband" or my boyfriend "boyfriend".. and to me it would be the same as someone (not my sibling) calling my mother "Mom" or my father "Dad".. I don't see it as a threat to my position, but more of a distasteful assumption of a relationship dynamic that is non-existant with them. I call my Doctor "Doctor" because thats what he is to me. My doctor. Some body else's Dominant is not anything to me but a friend or aquaintance. I won't even call them Sir.. Unless of course they dropped their wallet or something.. and I don't remember their name.. so I call after them "SIR.. Hey Sir.. you forgot your wallet" It tends to go over better than "Hey YOU" or "Dude come back here" I also don't want some one calling my sub/slave by their position to me. Because they choose that position in relation to me.. does not mean that that is all they are or that anyone else has the right to call them that. They have a name, just ask them. I am originally from the north and no one calls someone else "Sir" or "Maam" unless its the sales clerk, your waiter, older person that you don't know their name, or some such equivalent. To me, Sir or Maam is reserved for those people who you really don't care what their name is or you can't remember it.. but you want to be polite. Here in Texas.. everyone calls everyone it. Its part of the culture here, so I don't get "offended" as if its an act of submission, but I also won't call someone "Sir" on demand either. I will ask their name and call them that in a BDSM setting. I don't mind or take offense to Gorean trained people who call me "Mistress" either.. as that is their training, though I usually quickly ask them to call me by my name. I have had some refuse to, stating that it would displease their Master, and its just not that big of deal for a short lived interaction. I do insist on calling people by their names or fake names or call signs.. whenever possible. If they say my name is "Master Bob", I'll reply "Nice to meet you Bob" if they take offense thats their choice, but they'll soon find I'm heading to talk to anyone else. V
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