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Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 9:16:15 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: goalie1801
quote:
Here's what I'm seeing. I see the OP (that's short for "original poster," which would be goalie1801) not wanting to take total and complete responsibility for her life, for whatever reason.
How do I do this? What is this?
To take total and complete responsibility for your life means to quit blaming others for how things turn out. Realize your role in how these things turn out.
Your role in your bad situations, as I see it from what you've posted, is multidimensional.
First, you lack social awareness. You are unable to tell when someone is joking or when someone is giving you sincere advice.
Second, due to your lack of social awareness, you portray a 'pity me' attitude.
Third, by portraying a 'pity me' attitude, you invite people who want to use you into your life. People who won't use you, do not want to associate with the 'pity me' types.
Now, if you really want to make improvements, and open yourself up to an eventual healthy relationship, you need to fix yourself first. Do NOT focus on finding a Dom nor a boyfriend until you are able to pick up on social cues, until you can stop portraying yourself as a victim. This will take a LOT of work on your part. You first need to SEE what your faults are, then find a way to change them.
Only after you have done this self improvement will you be ready to find someone who meets your needs.
Quit blaming doms for misusing you, understand and accept that you had a part in that. Focus on fixing the part you had in that mistreatment. Speak with a professional. Seek advice from friends with whom you have no romantic interest.
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