RE: How to get a Dom?

RE: How to get a Dom? (Full Version)

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Jeffff -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 9:54:04 AM)
Have you read anything here? Let me make it as plain as I can. As you are now, the only Dominant who will want you is exactly who you are trying to avoid. To quote the goreans. I wish you well

HisSub1213 -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 9:55:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: goalie1801 Also... 1. What are your talents that have nothing to do with kink? I am into sports, trying to finish school. 2. What gives you joy in life, makes you laugh? I love water, anything with water and dream vaction is going to the beach. I like small groups or one on ones. not big into crowds, clubs or big parties. 3. Why would a guy want to be around you? I am easy going and can just hang out. I can do anything from spending the day at the muesum to spending it at the ball game. 4. What do you enjoy doing on a lazy Sunday afternoon? Watch football if it that season, if it is nice out go for a walk or just curl up on the couch and watch movies The Highlighted areas Should be in your profile. Not the "I don'ts or the I won'ts", the POSITIVE stuff. Unfortunately, you are coming across as pretty negative and shooting yourself in the foot. Put a SMILE on your face and accentuate the positive things about you and someone WILL take interest. People here really ARE trying to help. Take a deep breath, smile and think about what's GOOD about you, then write it down. Edited to Add: I see that you DID add the above. Its a start. You still need to address what's going on with you though.

Jeffff -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 9:56:07 AM)
I think she met a Dom and he killed her! Love Jeff

goalie1801 -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 9:59:53 AM)
Changed the profile a little bit... it is a start

sexyred1 -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 10:07:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: goalie1801 Changed the profile a little bit... it is a start There is nothing wrong with your profile. I think your problem is slightly bigger than that.

goalie1801 -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 10:08:24 AM)
Like what? Everyone that has posted has pretty much said that it sucked and it needs this or that done with it.

sexyred1 -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 10:08:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff I think she met a Dom and he killed her! Love Jeff Possibly. And she may very well, now be, in parts.

Jeffff -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 10:11:35 AM)
Your attitude sucks

mikeyOfGeorgia -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 10:11:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: goalie1801 How do you get a Dom? first, you have to find the right lure or bait...decide on the dimensions of the trap or the test strength of the line. then you have to set the trap where Doms gather and wait patiently for one of them to take the bait GRINZ just kidding

sexyred1 -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 10:13:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: goalie1801 Like what? Everyone that has posted has pretty much said that it sucked and it needs this or that done with it. Lady, I cannot deal with this any longer. A. I have to get a manicure and B. you are SO NOT LISTENING TO ANYONE. Out.

HisSub1213 -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 10:14:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: goalie1801 Changed the profile a little bit... it is a start There is nothing wrong with your profile. I think your problem is slightly bigger than that. I have to agree with you here. I think the OP really does need to get to the bottom of her problems before she winds up a statistic somewhere.

Lucienne -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 10:37:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: goalie1801 I have been hospitalized three times for serve depression and each time I come out with something different. I have had depression, anxiety, boderline personality disorder, bipolar, Post tramic symdom and mild OCD. I consider my "sincere vs. satire" detection skills pretty advanced, but this one I can't quite get a handle on. If she truly demonstrates this complete inability to relate to others in real life and she's been hospitalized three times it strikes me as highly unlikely it wouldn't have occurred to anyone to check her for Aspergers. But the level of skill and discipline it would take for a satirist/troll to carry on this long in this perfectly modulated manner is rare... eventually they all go for the lols. There's also the temptation to rule "satire" because "sincere" is really fucking pathetic. Regardless, my preliminary ruling is "sincere." Although I keep going back to the "just wanting to cuddle." Showing up at a bdsm site because you just want to be held is so spectacularly absurd... I really thought it was a troll at that point. I'm not saying people around here don't cuddle. But it's frequently preceded by other activities that the OP has shown no interest in.

HisSweetElysium -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 10:38:25 AM)
OP aside from your search for a Dom, how are the other relationships in your life? It sounds like family is not great, school is not rewarding, etc. Do you have lots of friends? Activities that make you happy and make you feel accomplished and appreciated? You mention sports, that's a team effort, are you smiling and happy and part of the team when you're playing? If the answer is no to the latter part of these questions, you may benefit from tabling your search for a Dom, and getting some therapy. Even if you find this spectacular Dom, it will not solve all these other problems. I mean no disrespect, but as others have said all of your posts are defensive and overwhelmingly negative. Even when you try to improve your profile, you still cannot help wording things negatively. To me, that shows a deeper problem, that you are a negative person because you are depressed, or as a result of the myriad of clinical diagnoses you outlined. More than anything, height, weight, appearance, social/economic status, the biggest turn off in a prospective mate is negativity. Even your picture is not welcoming or warm. You are comfortable enough to show your face, why not make it a nice picture? smile? close up? Your picture shows you don't feel good about yourself and your writing does too. We can all give you point by point advice on how to change the profile, but the reality of it is you need to change yourself. I can translate what you say into the happiest mary jane sunshine shit you ever read, but that won't help you when you meet an interested Dom face to face and the negativity that seems ingrained in you comes from your posture, your eye contact, what you say and how you say it. Stable, happy people attract stable happy people. So I mean no disrespect in saying you should get some therapy. With all those diagnoses, it can't be unfamiliar to you. It could be a wonderful journey of self exploration and joy if you let it be. Simply find a therapist and say to them "I would like to have a meaningful positive relationship in my life, but I would like to build up my confidence and self worth along the way, to attract a partner that can share my happiness, not solve my problems". You'll be amazed at the positive response from the therapist and after you begin your work, in yourself. I truly wish you the best....

sappatoti -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 10:47:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: goalie1801 Like what? Like the past several pages of advice that has suggested you FORGET finding a bf/Dom for now and deal with learning how to understand and like yourself first. A few posts back you typed out a list of all of the syndromes and conditions you have been seen for, by professionals. Those issues are bad enough for you to deal with on your own, let alone bringing someone into your life who may or may not be prepared to deal with them alongside you. You really should be able to live your life happily and fully aware of how those syndromes affect it before inviting someone else into it. You wrote that you have seen counsellors. If you're still seeing them, tell them that you are interested in seeking out a boyfriend type of relationship (I would not even mention the fact that you want a Dom at this point). Listen to their advice and if they think it's a bad idea for now, ask why and then follow their advice as closely as you can. They may not know how to catch that guy that could be your boyfriend, but they will be able to help you get to the point where you can find one for yourself. That is the larger problem you face. Not the choice of words you use on a profile. Tackle and get a grip on how you fit in with yourself and those around you and you might have all of the information you need, learned from yourself, on how to better represent yourself in your profile/advertisement. quote: ORIGINAL: goalie1801 Everyone that has posted has pretty much said that it sucked and it needs this or that done with it. Fine. You cut and pasted words from this thread directly into your profile. I guess that's at least a start. Yes, there are a lot of positives about you in those words. However, an important part of your profile is your journal, and the latest entry in that still shows you whining and complaining, drawing the reader into your negative side by asking them to answer the question of "what is wrong with me?". I'm not suggesting that you delete that entry. After all, a journal can be used to publicly document your life's experiences; to show how adversity and joy help mold you into the person you have become. Rather than delete that entry, perhaps you should write a newer one that, in a positive way, lets your readers know how you are going to answer the question of "What is wrong with me?" for yourself. Balance out the negative posts with a positive post to show the readers, and potential Doms, how you handle difficult times and questions. That's it for now. My brain is telling me it's about to turn into gray matter goo. The last time it did that it was a royal pain to clean up. Besides, gray goo spilling out of my ears isn't a pretty sight.

Lucienne -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 11:04:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sappatoti Those issues are bad enough for you to deal with on your own, let alone bringing someone into your life who may or may not be prepared to deal with them alongside you. You really should be able to live your life happily and fully aware of how those syndromes affect it before inviting someone else into it. People can type this a dozen times and it won't matter. She wants a dom to fix her. Suggesting that she fix herself prior to finding a dom is defeating her purpose.

Jeffff -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 11:05:35 AM)
I want a sub to fix Me........................... dinner..... something tasty..... and not TOO healthy! Jeff

sappatoti -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 11:12:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucienne quote: ORIGINAL: sappatoti Those issues are bad enough for you to deal with on your own, let alone bringing someone into your life who may or may not be prepared to deal with them alongside you. You really should be able to live your life happily and fully aware of how those syndromes affect it before inviting someone else into it. People can type this a dozen times and it won't matter. She wants a dom to fix her. Suggesting that she fix herself prior to finding a dom is defeating her purpose. Yeah, I alluded to that in my first post in this thread, being the contrarian that I sometimes can be. While at lunch I thought I'd come back and try to make a helpful post. But you're probably right and my first post is probably closer to the truth here. Unfortunate, but if it is the truth, I wish the OP luck in finding her unicorn.

sappatoti -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 11:13:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff I want a sub to fix Me........................... dinner..... something tasty..... and not TOO healthy! Jeff There are frozen pizzas and bubba burgers in the freezer, beer in the fridge. That's the best I'll do for ya.

HisSub1213 -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 11:14:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff I want a sub to fix Me........................... dinner..... something tasty..... and not TOO healthy! Jeff Dinner? Like a big thick juicy steak, twice baked cheddar potatoes, ice cream of your choice after or better yet a big banana split, and a good stiff drink to wash it all down? Would that work? BTW I LOVE the Anteater. LOL

HisSweetElysium -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 11:16:54 AM)
ironically I have a potroast in at the moment....

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