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InvisibleBlack -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/7/2010 7:03:30 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: goalie1801
I have been hospitalized three times for serve depression and each time I come out with something different. I have had depression, anxiety, boderline personality disorder, bipolar, Post tramic symdom and mild OCD.
So what you're saying is that you have serious issues and you're looking for a Dom to take responsibility for you? That's not the way it works. A Dom is just some guy. A Dom is not an acceptable subsitute for adequate therapy or mental care. A Dom (or a bf) is not the be-all end-all solution to your problems. You are placing far too much weight and responsibility on your hoped-for Dom/bf and not enough on yourself.
Get some help and guidance. If your family and/or friends are unable to provide it or be supportive - find someone who is. If your therapist or counselor isn't listening to you and trying to help you - find one that will.
A relationship is a give and take interaction. Sometimes one side may give or take more than the other but over time it needs to even out. If you're bringing a huge group of needs to the table, you need to bring along a big pile of positives (compassion, support, drop-dead sexiness, brilliance, understanding, wild-ass sexual skills ... whatever) to balance them. Look - it's one thing to acknowledge that this wonderful person you're so into has some problems that need to be accepted, understood and supported, it's a different thing entirely to find out you're entering into a relationship where everything revolves around the other person and their problems, no one wants that.
If you're still struggling with serious issues from the past, now is not the time to look for a serious relationship. Now is the time to come to grips with those issues.
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