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LaTigresse -> RE: How to get a Dom? (2/5/2010 7:38:42 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Jeffff
That in it self says something.............
I truly wish you the best, but I am not overly optimistic.
Jeff
Bad anteater.
The key to good passive aggressive snark. The intended victim has to be able to understand the humour.
Dear Goalie,
Here is your problem as I see it. You have obviously low self esteem and are looking for some white knight to ride in and save you from yourself. Honey, it's not going to happen. Your negativity and low self esteem makes you a target for the very sort of guys you have already experienced. AND you bought what they were selling. Until you recognize your responsibility in that, your not going to fix it and it will happen again and again. GAAAAROANNNNTEEEEEEED!!
As others have said, your social skills are a bit lacking. That can be fixed but probably will not be fixed until you work on your self esteem issues. To successfully work on your self esteem issues, you are going to have to own your mistakes, take responsibility for your mistakes and your part in the past relationships. BUT, do so without beating yourself up for them. Just watch yourself and be aware. To do that, you are going to have to quit being so bloody defensive and passive aggressive. It ain't easy but chica, it can be done. Quit making excuses and own your shit babeee! It won't hurt, in fact it feels FAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS! Trust me, I was a snarky, passive aggressive, oh woe is me, victim about 25ish years ago. It sucked.
The part you are not willing to accept yet is that, it doesn't fuckin matter that you are submissive, you are still 100% responsible for yourself. Ain't no one gonna be able to save you from you but you. And right now, you are not even seeing that you need to. You are being negative and whiny........SNAP OUT OF IT! You want Suuuuuuuuuuper Dom, then you've gotta be sUUUUUUUUPER sUB (notice my less than clever play on capitalization there??)
My suggestion. Either find a submissive that you really admire and learn from them, what personality traits make them awesome? OR, find a dominant that you really admire that has a submissive, in a committed relationship and watch and learn what makes that submissive so awesome in their dominant's eyes. Watch and learn what makes that submissive such an awesome human being? I promise you it isn't being passive aggressive, whiny and negative.
And, work on making yourself more interesting. Get involved in the world! Pay attention to whats going on, learn about it, be able to discuss things that don't always involve poor little ole you! Take some classes! Check out your local community college, learn to cook. Grocery stores and health food stores quite often offer cooking classes. Sometimes local restaurant chefs will teach at one, 'How to make the Perfect, from scratch Pizza' or something like that. Not only will you learn something you are lacking but.......you will meet people. How cool! Do volunteer work. It helps your community, takes you out of yourself, you can make friends, AND do something you will feel good about. Better self esteem!
Now, if you ignore these amazing words of wisdom, I suggest you go delete your profile and never return here again. Just kidding........kinda.
People here are amazingly cool and most really want to see other people succeed. Just go read the Random Stupidity section and watch the interactions. How people encourage and support one another.
But if you ignore the helpful hands that reach out to you, or just snap at them, trust me, you will not be treated with kid gloves. This is a forum for adults and we do, at some point, expect people to take responsibility for themselves like adults. Something you will need to work on.
Edited to add..........and this post was my second good deed of the week. I need help. A serious infusion of sadistic bitch snarkishness. I am being far to nice.
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