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RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:09:04 AM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Lie down with your nose to the floor and your arse up in the air: one is sure to come by your way and take advantage of you  .







I thought no one would laugh. Thanks, Pots :-) .


It was such a funny visual, kittin!!

_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:09:20 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: goalie1801

I dont think that there any of these munch meetings where I am at. And besides my anxiety at times can prevent me from doing group things.


Out of ALL of the advice of the last two posts you got that???

Go to the other side and do a search for submissive women that live near you and contact some of them. Tell them you are looking for someone to get to know in your area. I bet a year's salary that you would get some very positive feedback.




Even better advice....LaT, I am seeing the mommy in you come out....



Oh thank you Julia! That made me laugh and think of my daughter. She recently confessed, at our Christmas gathering, that she still hates 'the look'. And she just had her 29th birthday.  I am not sure what 'the look' is, but apparently she and my son still hate getting it. She said she can even feel it over the phone.

The funny part of it is that, because they are adults I really try to avoid butting in unless my opinion is asked for. But apparently my eyes and voice tone give me away. I tried to feel bad but inside I was thinking "I still got it!!!".

**Sorry for the hijack........I'm going to go eat a cream filled, frosted, pastry and get a sugar high going to re-establish my eeeeeeeeevil.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:10:46 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goalie1801

Why a sub? Why not a Dom?


Does the patient teach the doctor how to be a doctor?


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to goalie1801)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:10:49 AM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: goalie1801

Well excuse me for my name. I really dont care for yours and dont understand it. My name is part of me so I am not changing it.


Just poking my head in to say...

Potty said your avatar title, not your username. If you look under your username beside your post, you'll find your avatar title. It does, indeed, say vanilla as you have not posted much.

It was a joke.


Thank you, Aqua!
But alas, now she's "Curious". Vanilla gone forever, just a memory now

_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:12:56 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goalie1801

Why a sub? Why not a Dom?


Because you should enjoy the company of other women and get empowered by seeing what works for them... like a big sister. You need more help than can be given over the internet is what I am getting at... and I truly mean that in a kind way! People who network in real life can talk to you face to face to give you encouragement and help you to see what you can do to get what it is you want. If you are not getting what you want it is up to you to surround yourself with people that can aid you... not only that, submissives often have dominant friends and could perhaps set you up with someone who is to your liking.... but you have to be positive even in the real world to find a good man.


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to goalie1801)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:15:53 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Oh thank you Julia! That made me laugh and think of my daughter. She recently confessed, at our Christmas gathering, that she still hates 'the look'. And she just had her 29th birthday. I am not sure what 'the look' is, but apparently she and my son still hate getting it. She said she can even feel it over the phone.

The funny part of it is that, because they are adults I really try to avoid butting in unless my opinion is asked for. But apparently my eyes and voice tone give me away. I tried to feel bad but inside I was thinking "I still got it!!!".

**Sorry for the hijack........I'm going to go eat a cream filled, frosted, pastry and get a sugar high going to re-establish my eeeeeeeeevil.


Do not feel bad, the undergrads in my department cling to me like a mommy... asking my advice on dating, what classes they should take... momminess is actually a nice thing....

hijack over


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:19:13 AM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		I agree w/Julia. Very good advise!
Find a "mentor" sub. Another good point that Julia made was that w/your inexperinece & being very naive you're likely to get very hurt by the wrong man posing as a dom.
Some folks say they're a dom/domme so they can beat you & get away with it.
Be patient, find a mentor & learn some things. Don't be in such a hurry, remember this is your life you're putting into someone else's hands and TRUST MUST BE ESTABLISHED and to do that you have to know what to look for, what's the difference between a dominant/an abuser.

**Btw, I don't like my screen name either but that's what I get for being impulsive**!
(That's just a name, imagine what you'd end up with if you impulsively accepted the 1st "dom" that you met)

< Message edited by VirginPotty -- 2/5/2010 8:20:18 AM >

_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:22:33 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Lie down with your nose to the floor and your arse up in the air: one is sure to come by your way and take advantage of you  .

I didn't laugh because I thought that WAS how you, potty and the gang got your Doms.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to VirginPotty)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:23:32 AM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		Damn, you figured us out Mr. RS!
Not only handsome but smart too........::::::THUD::::::

_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:28:08 AM   
TPEOwner


Posts: 73
Joined: 9/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSub1213


quote:

ORIGINAL: ladynlord

"I want a bad boy, with a motorcycle and tattoos, who smokes and drinks and fights, who has scars and muscles, AND who my mother absolutely HATES...........
and I want him to have a tender heart and treat me like a princess and love my kitty cat and look good in a tux and never be mean to me.....ever!!"

Or maybe I'm just old and jaded and bitter! 


I have one of those, exactly like that.



Damn! I heard there was someone on this site who was old, jaded and bitter, but I just didn't believe it could be true. And here I was going to change my name to "Dances With Assholes" so I could claim that title.

(in reply to HisSub1213)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:32:59 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		I would love to take credit for being smart. However, remembering everyone’s behavior at Greedy’s wedding and then reading Kitten’s comment, it doesn’t take a leap of faith to presume she was serious. I’m just saying.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

Damn, you figured us out Mr. RS!
Not only handsome but smart too........::::::THUD::::::



< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 2/5/2010 8:34:14 AM >

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to VirginPotty)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:36:11 AM   
goalie1801


Posts: 43
Joined: 1/20/2008
Status: offline 		okay so I have a profile on fetlife and this is what it says on there..."I am new and feeling very lost right now. I am a sub at heart but have been hurt by so called doms. I want to learn more about being a sub and how to get a good a Dom that will respect me and not treat me like a piece of crap."

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:38:04 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goalie1801

okay so I have a profile on fetlife and this is what it says on there..."I am new and feeling very lost right now. I am a sub at heart but have been hurt by so called doms. I want to learn more about being a sub and how to get a good a Dom that will respect me and not treat me like a piece of crap."


That is extremely negative... why not leave it blank?

That is a profile that says "kick me"


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to goalie1801)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:41:08 AM   
goalie1801


Posts: 43
Joined: 1/20/2008
Status: offline 		what is so negative about it? I dont know how to write profile messages. That is what I have gathered from everyone on the board to do. Find someone to help me, so that is what I put

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 154
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:41:11 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Yep, just asking for another trip down "oh woe is me, the nasty evil dom hurt me" lane.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:43:06 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goalie1801

what is so negative about it? I dont know how to write profile messages. That is what I have gathered from everyone on the board to do. Find someone to help me, so that is what I put


My sugar is kicking in as is my evilness so I will be brief.

You are laying out the welcome mat for another unscrupulous person to use you for the victim you are allowing yourself to be. Knock it off.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to goalie1801)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:46:36 AM   
goalie1801


Posts: 43
Joined: 1/20/2008
Status: offline 		I seriously dont understand what is wrong with it.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:50:07 AM   
theobserver


Posts: 456
Joined: 8/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goalie1801

Why a sub? Why not a Dom?


I read this whole thread and at one point I thought people were being unreasonably hard on you but this is just...I don't know!

LaTigresse explained why it would be good to contact a sub:

quote:


 ...find a submissive that you really admire and learn from them, what personality traits make them awesome...

a submissive, in a committed relationship and watch and learn what makes that submissive so awesome in their dominant's eyes.


That was pretty straight-forward and clear.

Here's what I think:

You want attention. From the men. You want one of these Doms to swoop in and pick up poor broken you. As many have said before, the only people you are going to get are the predators. No, descent man is going to be your captain save a ho.

Confidence is the most attractive thing a woman can wear. Get some.





_____________________________

It is left up to the reader to decipher & determine this post's validity.


(in reply to goalie1801)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:50:20 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goalie1801

I seriously dont understand what is wrong with it.


Do you realize that based upon what I've seen on this thread alone, I know that I could go create a faux male profile and have you jumping through hoops on webcam in a matter of hours worth of effort. That if I was indeed a male, and close enough, I could get you to meet me, and within a matter of a few dates.... if not one, fuck you until I tired of you and leave you lying like used trash, wondering where I went and feeling even more like a victim??? You would be lucky if all I wanted was to fuck you and leave you.

Oh, and one more thing.......I bet you have emails in your in-box......from several that are seriously contemplating what I suggested I could do.

THINK about this!! Seriously.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 2/5/2010 8:55:05 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to goalie1801)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: How to get a Dom? - 2/5/2010 8:55:15 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goalie1801

okay so I have a profile on fetlife and this is what it says on there..."I am new and feeling very lost right now. (read; I'm clueless and am looking to be saved) I am a sub at heart but have been hurt by so called doms. (read; I'm a victim and comfortable in this role) I want to learn more about being a sub and how to get a good a Dom that will respect me and not treat me like a piece of crap." (read; If you don't act the way I expect a dom to act, I'll play the victim card...or, I have no idea what a D/s relationship is and therefore fully expect to be used which will force me back into victim mode)


OP (O=original P=poster),

Why are you here?  What does submission mean to you?  Outside of "a Dom that will respect me and not treat me like a piece of crap" what do you want out of a D/s relationship and what are your realistic expectations?

I'll admit, I haven't read every response in this thread but there were a few, THIS and THIS in particular, that were spot on and something you need to go back and read and re-read.
It might be best to not have a profile while you figure things out and work on yourself.  D/s and bdsm aren't cures for a lack of self awareness, self confidence and people skills. 

Good luck

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 2/5/2010 8:56:44 AM >

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to goalie1801)
Profile   Post #: 160
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