Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: Well, you all were right about him...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Well, you all were right about him... Page: <<   < prev  2 3 [4] 5 6   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 1:29:43 PM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I'd have lunch with Red too.....but I'd make him buy...:)


Jeff



Jeff you are so cheap dude. How you spect to get chicks like that? With your humor? Yes you are funny. I would have lunch with you too. You could pay with funny money, hahahaha.

_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat



(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 1:30:49 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
I would pay for your lunch HC......

leave your safe word at home....:)


Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to heartcream)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 1:31:41 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
Y'all are cheap dates. If Red is gonna have the honour of taking me to lunch, he is going to have to TRIBUTE!!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 1:34:04 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream

I would have lunch with you Red. I am very far away though.

Thanks, but not my point, and I hope the thread doesn't get derailed by that.  My point was not that she wouldn't meet me, personally, but rather her fear of developing nonsexual real-life contacts who are also kinky.  Does she know any kinky friends in real life, not just strangers online?  That's an area to build up.  I'm not actively pushing to meet her myself.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to heartcream)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 1:37:19 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream

I would have lunch with you Red. I am very far away though.

Thanks, but not my point, and I hope the thread doesn't get derailed by that.  My point was not that she wouldn't meet me, personally, but rather her fear of developing nonsexual real-life contacts who are also kinky.  Does she know any kinky friends in real life, not just strangers online?  That's an area to build up.  I'm not actively pushing to meet her myself.



Very good point Red. Getting to know a lot more people in her area would probably give her a better insight into positive M/s and D/s relationships AND some of the single guys looking.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 1:39:11 PM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline
I got your point Red, and it is a good one.

_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat



(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 1:42:12 PM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OnlineFunForYou

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

quote:

ORIGINAL: OnlineFunForYou

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx


quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Sweet.  Good luck in finding your next 'nilla abuser.  It is bound to happen.

It sucks when folks get involved in relationships just because they might feel that it is better than being alone.

I usually lean to the contrary. 

Whatever.  You are probably doomed.


Never listen to this guy.


I fully agree with you, Christina.



But why?

the.dark.


Because one doesn't help the OP by suggesting that what happened to her, will happen over and over again to her.

Rather, like most posters do here, she needs advice and encouragement to avoid this happening again to her.




The reality is it can and a good possibility of it happeing again could be aroud the corner. Does not have to be a Dom, actually he wasnt anyways. She left things behind and is going back to get them with a friend. She has defended a few things about hin, and in her other post it did not take her long to go back. A few empty promises was all that was needed and the handi excuse of denial.
This type of behavior many times leds to repeat experiences. No material possessions are that important to go back, and she doesnt see it yet.

_____________________________

Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to OnlineFunForYou)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 1:42:13 PM   
Futuresocks


Posts: 112
Joined: 5/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TapedxCookie

What attracted me to him in the first place is how he would always get inside of my head and fish out things that I tried to hide away. it was always like "Dammit!.... do it again" a total Mind-Fuck. That and his sense of humor. Also, he would regularly have me laughing so hard for so long. He does have a great sense of humor.


anyways.. yes, I am fully aware that I am broken and need to fix myself. Believe me, that was beat into me over and over and over by this man.

Also, by saying that the next man I will be with will be tender and stuff.. thats not saying that im looking to start up another relationship right away, absolutly not. I need time.

Taped, that's really terrible. I'm glad you're okay, but remember why this happened. You don't need a relationship anytime soon. But what you'll remember soon enough is that you also have BDSM needs. Those won't go away anymore than the tendency to make bad choices will. Rectify the bad choices. Don't make them anymore, and when you're ready, you'll seek out someone who knows how to rule you properly and care for you.

I learned long ago that I can't get away from the control. I'm committed inside my own mental asylum of kinkdom. I can only accept it. You will have to as well. We all have times when giving up seems so right and easy, but it's not an option in the long run. Look out for yourself so that soon enough, someone can look out for you! :)

(in reply to TapedxCookie)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 1:43:31 PM   
TapedxCookie


Posts: 60
Joined: 11/21/2009
Status: offline
I do have a Dom friend that lives about 30 minutes from me, and I've talked to him about this whole situation. He also agrees that its a bad situation and he's very upset about what happened. He's the one who pushed me to post on the forums, to talk to people about it.

Red, I am not afraid to meet you. Im just not going to jump up and meet a man from a forum that i've never even had any previous conversation with, whether its for platonic reasons or not.

Thank you all for your comments. I appreciate the time you have taken on my behalf.

_____________________________

You pirate-hating-bitch! -Sir LR *giggles*

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 1:49:00 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

i for one do not try to pass myself off as Dr. Phil. i do not have a degree and i am not a therapist therefore, all i am qualified to do and all that i should be doing is wishing the Op well and hope for the best for her.

For those of you who have never made a bad mistake in a relationship or otherwise, please step aside so that us mere flawed mortals have more room to support each other.


What the fuck???

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

i for one do not try to pass myself off as Dr. Phil. i do not have a degree and i am not a therapist therefore, all i am qualified to do and all that i should be doing is wishing the Op well and hope for the best for her.


Then wish her well and shut the fuck up.  Why did you then feel the need to continue on with this little diddy?...


quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned
For those of you who have never made a bad mistake in a relationship or otherwise, please step aside so that us mere flawed mortals have more room to support each other.



You are right you are no Dr. Phil.

It would be appreciated by damn near everyone on this site if you would keep all of your opinions in the future strictly to yourself.

Step aside. Few have time for your parade of horribly flawed and redundant posts.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/8/2010 1:50:20 PM >


_____________________________



(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 1:50:23 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
Respectfully, based on the below from another thread by the the OP...

quote:

ORIGINAL: TapedxCookie

When we first began talking, one of the things he said was "I will hurt you on occasion, but I will not damage you" (yes, he is a sadistic man, but thats okay, we are finding out that i tend to be masochistic)

ETA- yes, he did push me to my safeword, but I really did enjoy it, and was even saddened when the marks the cane left faded. I think we were testing my pain limits, which is something I am definatly interested in. Next time, i will be able to take more pain that I did the first time, and so on.



I don't believe things are as one-sided as they're being presented.  Appears there were issues on both sides of the slash in this coupling, and likely the OP entered into this dynamic with eyes-wide-shut!!!

Going the 'nilla route may or may not work... most who do, eventually end up returning to this dynamic, only to hurt their other 'nilla half.  A bit of self-reflection is in order here... try to ascertain (as best you can) what it is about a "Power Dynamic" that you (OP) desire and why... then take your time thinking about EXACTLY what type of dynamic you seek by way of the ACTIVITIES that you desire (filling out a BDSM Checklist is a good start) and ignore the sub, slave, little girl, etc. labels; as those things can mean very different things to different people... Example:  a "Daddy Dom" can be "sadistic" as well, or not at all... as is the case with a Dom or Master (or Domme/Mistress).

OP... you may have entered this with a bit of "sub-frenzy".  Next time, move forward with a potential Top in the SAME way you'd do so with a 'nilla person; i.e., focus on the person first and the kink second.  And remember this... NO TOP IS GOING TO SOLVE ALL OF LIFE'S PROBLEMS.  Too many s-types unknowingly go into a "Power Dynamic" with a "rescue" mentality, as do many Tops with a "White Knight" mentality.  It doesn't work and never can, as one person eventually becomes a BURDEN to the other... who ultimately becomes resentful of that burden.

Good Luck!!!




_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to TapedxCookie)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 1:52:34 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TapedxCookie

I do have a Dom friend that lives about 30 minutes from me, and I've talked to him about this whole situation. He also agrees that its a bad situation and he's very upset about what happened. He's the one who pushed me to post on the forums, to talk to people about it.



Yeah?  Well... don't be surprised if said "Dom friend" isn't secretly trying to bag you for himself!!! 




< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 2/8/2010 1:59:17 PM >


_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to TapedxCookie)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 1:52:41 PM   
TapedxCookie


Posts: 60
Joined: 11/21/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

i for one do not try to pass myself off as Dr. Phil. i do not have a degree and i am not a therapist therefore, all i am qualified to do and all that i should be doing is wishing the Op well and hope for the best for her.

For those of you who have never made a bad mistake in a relationship or otherwise, please step aside so that us mere flawed mortals have more room to support each other.


What the fuck???

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

i for one do not try to pass myself off as Dr. Phil. i do not have a degree and i am not a therapist therefore, all i am qualified to do and all that i should be doing is wishing the Op well and hope for the best for her.


Then wish her well and shut the fuck up.  Why did you then feel the need to continue on with this little diddy?...


quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned
For those of you who have never made a bad mistake in a relationship or otherwise, please step aside so that us mere flawed mortals have more room to support each other.



You are right you are no Dr. Phil.

It would be appreciated by damn near everyone on this site if you would keep all of your opinions in the future strictly to yourself.

Step aside. Few have time for your parade of horribly flawed and redundant posts.


domiguy... was that really necessary? just becuase she's not giving "your" kind of help, doesnt mean she's wrong or flawed. Infact, I appreciate her posts, they are comforting and do more for me than you telling me that my future holds more of what I went through already.

_____________________________

You pirate-hating-bitch! -Sir LR *giggles*

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 1:56:39 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TapedxCookie

domiguy... was that really necessary? just becuase she's not giving "your" kind of help, doesnt mean she's wrong or flawed. Infact, I appreciate her posts, they are comforting and do more for me than you telling me that my future holds more of what I went through already.


Give it three more days...Read some of her posts.   I will expect your apology on my desk by Friday morning.

_____________________________



(in reply to TapedxCookie)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 2:12:23 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: OnlineFunForYou
Because one doesn't help the OP by suggesting that what happened to her, will happen over and over again to her.

Rather, like most posters do here, she needs advice and encouragement to avoid this happening again to her.


Actually, I think domiguy has a point.  She'll allow a flaming asshole to torture her, because she enjoys the way he fucks with her mind, but she is too frightened to meet someone like me for lunch.  She's not looking for friends, or support.  She's looking for a controller and a user.

Perhaps this post will annoy you, and you will mini-lecture me on how I could have phrased it in a more encouraging fashion.  The reality, though, is this: the women I play with would have done their best to chew my balls off if I ignored a "Red" in a scene with them.  There is one hell of a difference between being a sub and being a victim.  The OP needs to stop being a victim, before she can even start thinking about being a sub.



I thought it was rather odd that she dismissed your invite, after commenting HERSELF that you were so close with a *hehe*. Her reasons "why not "were a bit dismissive too. 

agirl







(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 2:16:34 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OnlineFunForYou
Because one doesn't help the OP by suggesting that what happened to her, will happen over and over again to her.

Rather, like most posters do here, she needs advice and encouragement to avoid this happening again to her.




Thank you for responding, I really do appriciate it because it helps me see where you are coming from... otherwise it's me second guessing you.
Welcome to the forums btw...

the.dark.

_____________________________


RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to OnlineFunForYou)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 2:16:52 PM   
TapedxCookie


Posts: 60
Joined: 11/21/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: TapedxCookie

domiguy... was that really necessary? just becuase she's not giving "your" kind of help, doesnt mean she's wrong or flawed. Infact, I appreciate her posts, they are comforting and do more for me than you telling me that my future holds more of what I went through already.


Give it three more days...Read some of her posts.   I will expect your apology on my desk by Friday morning.



I have read some of her posts, didnt see anything out the ordinary, some honest questions and all of her posts were polite. So, I dont have an apology for you.

agirl- its not that I dismissed it, perhaps I didnt chose my words carefully enough, it was more of a "no, not right now, perhaps in the future"

I am sorry RedMagic if I came across as ungrateful, I do appreciate your invite. :)

_____________________________

You pirate-hating-bitch! -Sir LR *giggles*

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 2:18:28 PM   
jstkrs


Posts: 61
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline
I'm really sorry this happened and I'm sending you some hugs.
Keep strong, don't let snooze his way in and talk you out of leaving. Heed the suggestion of taking pictures of the physical damage and re-read these threads for the emotional damage. It will help you with your resolve.
Take this opportunity to grow. Be proud of yourself. While you did make some mistakes, you made some really good choices as well. Become stronger and wiser for the experience.
As others have pointed out, assholes exist everywhere. In my opinion, it's easier for a vanilla asshole to hide his true colors until he's drawn you in, and therefore I consider that particular flavor to be more dangerous.
Be well and be safe
-Kris


_____________________________

bondm1's happy slave

I said, "I know you won't break your toys."
He answered, "No, but I might bend it a little."

I would rather be hated for who I am then loved for who I am not.

(in reply to TapedxCookie)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 2:21:57 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

quote:

ORIGINAL: TapedxCookie

I do know that I need to have courage to stand up for myself. But its hard when you have someone breathing down your neck (or more appropriately, beating on you) telling you that you are weak and worthless, and the only way to better yourself is to give in to him and that you should be grateful that he is willing to make you better than what you currently are...



Lordy TC, I absolutely dig you, I do.  I get that it's hard.  I also am pretty damn sure you can do this and get through it and come out stronger - just don't fall into the belief that a nilla man wouldn't do that to you too.

the.dark.


I mentioned on the last thread from you to be aware of him using manipulation
So I hope you learn from it now

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 2/8/2010 2:23:31 PM >


_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Well, you all were right about him... - 2/8/2010 2:24:40 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TapedxCookie


quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: TapedxCookie

domiguy... was that really necessary? just becuase she's not giving "your" kind of help, doesnt mean she's wrong or flawed. Infact, I appreciate her posts, they are comforting and do more for me than you telling me that my future holds more of what I went through already.


Give it three more days...Read some of her posts.   I will expect your apology on my desk by Friday morning.



I have read some of her posts, didnt see anything out the ordinary, some honest questions and all of her posts were polite. So, I dont have an apology for you.

agirl- its not that I dismissed it, perhaps I didnt chose my words carefully enough, it was more of a "no, not right now, perhaps in the future"

I am sorry RedMagic if I came across as ungrateful, I do appreciate your invite. :)


Yeah, you did dismiss it, intentionally or not.

agirl



(in reply to TapedxCookie)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  2 3 [4] 5 6   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Well, you all were right about him... Page: <<   < prev  2 3 [4] 5 6   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078