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ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Im not the ones making the claims here Bob.

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I've spoken with the victims.......blah blah blah........You are hardly in a position to talk about people who have abandoned casual bdsm for something safer.

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ORIGINAL: BLoved

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Are you a Christian? I am not but I still would not, "judge lest ye be judged".

I wrote the following in response to a question like this:

Are you a good judge of character?

Every now and then I see someone saying we shouldn't judge others.

Which of us doesn't judge a liar who deceives us?

Which of us doesn't judge an abuser who abuses us?

Casual players like to believe casual bdsm is completely harmless, unaware of the emotional damage it does over time.

Not until they realize they no longer have the capacity to truly love another, to trust someone so thoroughly as to commit their life to that person do they become aware of the damage they've done to themselves.

In the pursuit of cheap thrills they lose the ability to love.

Healthy BDSM is not a cheap thrill. It is an expression of love and trust in someone who has demonstrated qualities worthy of love and trust. Every thought, every deed is meaningful and only deepens the love and trust shared.

Casual bdsm only attracts those who are afraid of this kind of intimacy. Those who are too emotionally-immature for a healthy, loving relationship. In the no-strings-attached world of casual bdsm they can pretend to be intimate without ever experiencing intimacy.

And thus they reinforce their emotional immaturity.

We each must judge for ourselves what is and is not "abusive". We each must take our stand opposing that which we judge to be abusive.

How else will we know which of us have thought this out, and which of us are here for a cheap thrill?

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ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
If one condemn casual BDSM, they would have to condemn casual sex also. There are also people abusing people physically and emotionally with other things too. Maybe we should just condemn all "users" or maybe all men who lie and say "I love you" to get in some girls pants?

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Are you not asserting that casual bdsm is emotionally safe?

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ORIGINAL: BLoved

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ORIGINAL: sirsholly
And as for the masses lining up to read the crap you write...don't count on it. We emotionally damaged BDSMers are a practical bunch. If we want to look at shit, two birds can be killed with one stone by cleaning the litter boxes.

While it is true some are too far gone to change course, not everyone is a lemming.

Some people actually think for themselves :)

What's wrong, Holly, afraid of a little philisophical competition?

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Well, I guess we'll have this debate right here.  I'm a married poly Dominant woman who shares My life with My husband and My collared submissive.  In addition, I play casually.  My casual S/m play does not interfere with My intimacy with My husband.  He is neither submissive, nor a masochist.  Truthfully, he is genuinely glad that I have outlets for My sadistic desires to be met.  (Especially when it's not at the expense of his own hide.)  I do not love him less because we don't engage in BDSM together.  In fact, I love him more because he loved Me enough to realize that I am happier expressing My sadism and I am able to do that with others.

Now, don't get Me wrong.  I can promise you that I agree with the statement that we are (and should be) judgmental against those who have wronged us in an unethical fashion.  Yet, consensual play is not unethical.  There are plenty of folks out there who are only interested in topping and bottoming who have no interest in Dominance and submission.  Not every activity that two people do together must be in the context of a love based relationship.

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ORIGINAL: BLoved

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ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx
There's lots of people in monogomous relationships here.
There's lots who aren't interested in that, and just want to play.
I find it interesting that you've got both groups irritated at you already.

I find it curious that monogamous people would suggest that meaningless multiple sexual encounters with virtual strangers is a wise choice. To suggest that monogamy is just another flavour of ice cream is to suggest they are not very devoted to monogamy, nor that they have any real convictions regarding it.

I suspect they speak of tolerance because they have friends in the casual camp and to speak out against that choice would threaten their friendships.

I suffer no such conflict of interests.

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ORIGINAL: sirsholly
If you have someone who is emotionally damaged to begin with, they are not going to experience a cathartic healing via bondage.

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ORIGINAL: BLoved

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ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Im not the ones making the claims here Bob.

Of course you are. Are you not asserting that casual bdsm is emotionally safe?

Or do you concede casual bdsm couldn't care less about the emotional states of the individuals involved?

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I want to know who deemed it unwise to have multiple sex partners on a casual basis?

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I want to know when and how this person was given the right to determine that my sexual practices are unwise?

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ORIGINAL: BLoved

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ORIGINAL: sirsholly
If you have someone who is emotionally damaged to begin with, they are not going to experience a cathartic healing via bondage.

And casual players don't bother finding out if someone is emotionally damaged beforehand or not.

No-strings-attached one-night stands do not lend themselves to uncovering this kind of information.

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ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear
You see bloved, I have no fear of my friendships being threatened because of what I do or what I think...because I make damn wise choices to who my friends are.

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ORIGINAL: BLoved

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ORIGINAL: sirsholly
If you have someone who is emotionally damaged to begin with, they are not going to experience a cathartic healing via bondage.

And casual players don't bother finding out if someone is emotionally damaged beforehand or not.

No-strings-attached one-night stands do not lend themselves to uncovering this kind of information.

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ORIGINAL: BLoved

The more attention you draw to me, while telling everyone to ignore me, the more mysterious I become and the more you generate curiosity.

Works for me ;)