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RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:11:33 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
If you have someone who is emotionally damaged to begin with, they are not going to experience a cathartic healing via bondage.

And casual players don't bother finding out if someone is emotionally damaged beforehand or not.

No-strings-attached one-night stands do not lend themselves to uncovering this kind of information.

Listen Bob...if i want to play casually i am not going to sit their ass down and assess their emotionally stability. Not my job. I will not assume responsibility for the emotional well being of another under those circumstances. This is why it is called CASUAL play.

If they are that fucked up then they need to keep their ass out of the line of fire.

(hop into the nearest foxhole Bob)

You are handing out alotta 'ass' there, holly.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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Post #: 61

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:12:05 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

June?.. I am soft and kind and warm...... can I get a mercy fuck?

Ward

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Post #: 62

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:12:22 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved
And who is concerned about the emotional state of their partner in a no-strings-attached scenario?

Well, I am, for one. I'm very public on these boards about the fact that if it didn't work for us, we wouldn't be doing it anymore.

quote:

Who worries about whether they are emotionally damaging to another during a one-night stand?

Where's the one night stand part? You're projecting.

quote:

Who follows-up to see if they've damaged a virtual stranger, and who expects to know the difference with someone they barely know?

Believe it or not, some of us still go through the process of checking up on the people we play with.

quote:

In what way does it enhance your existing relationship to use others for your own pleasure? In what way can someone take pride in your choices when the people you use don't matter?

Again, you are projecting. No where did I say that the people that I play with casually don't matter. Some of them have been friends of Mine for years.

quote:

In what way are you showing your existing relationships that what you give them has value to you when you give it to virtual strangers for nothing more than a cheap thrill?

That probably has a lot to do with the fact that My love and loyalty to My husband is displayed in other ways, rather than what is expressed through BDSM. There are things that I do in our equality based relationship that aren't expressed in casual S/m play.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Post #: 63

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:12:40 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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A legend returns?

I been back for awhile, what's the big fuckin' deal?

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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Post #: 64

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:13:12 AM

BLoved

Posts: 642
Joined: 8/5/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
Listen Bob...if i want to play casually i am not going to sit their ass down and assess their emotionally stability. Not my job. I will not assume responsibility for the emotional well being of another under those circumstances. This is why it is called CASUAL play.

If they are that fucked up then they need to keep their ass out of the line of fire.

I agree they should not be involved in bdsm.

The fact is casual players continue to involve them in bdsm with no more of an excuse than you've provided.

And thus the damage is done.

Unfortunately it is quite rare for a casual player to admit he/she doesn't care about the emotional state of the people they use. More people should be made aware of this fact.

_____________________________

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Post #: 65

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:13:31 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

So actually what you are really asserting is that casual sex is not emotionally safe.

that is Bob's smokescreen cause he can't get laid.

Rather than saying "I am an asshole (a prick, a dildo with a pulse, a putz, oh Lord someone stop me!!)...as i was saying...rather than admit he is too much of a imbecilic dolt to get laid...he simply deems it dangerous.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

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Post #: 66

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:14:27 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

June?.. I am soft and kind and warm...... can I get a mercy fuck?

Ward

Probably, in Vegas. Cuz yanno, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Dino

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 67

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:14:54 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

*sobs*

he STILL has ignored my post

*yawn*

ETA: LaT.. I wasnt thinking sharp sticks in tender parts.. I was thinking more along the lines of electro-play, at the highest setting.

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 2/17/2010 8:16:39 AM >

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Post #: 68

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:16:14 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
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I assume it is due to your casual dress, and casual stance.

Ron

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Post #: 69

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:16:30 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
Listen Bob...if i want to play casually i am not going to sit their ass down and assess their emotionally stability. Not my job. I will not assume responsibility for the emotional well being of another under those circumstances. This is why it is called CASUAL play.

If they are that fucked up then they need to keep their ass out of the line of fire.

I agree they should not be involved in bdsm.

The fact is casual players continue to involve them in bdsm with no more of an excuse than you've provided.

And thus the damage is done.

Unfortunately it is quite rare for a casual player to admit he/she doesn't care about the emotional state of the people they use. More people should be made aware of this fact.

There are those who take advantage. But they are not lifestylers. They are predators that use this lifestyle as a cover for being predators. Though you can find them everywhere including church.

_____________________________

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Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

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Post #: 70

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:16:55 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
If you have someone who is emotionally damaged to begin with, they are not going to experience a cathartic healing via bondage.

And casual players don't bother finding out if someone is emotionally damaged beforehand or not.

No-strings-attached one-night stands do not lend themselves to uncovering this kind of information.

Listen Bob...if i want to play casually i am not going to sit their ass down and assess their emotionally stability. Not my job. I will not assume responsibility for the emotional well being of another under those circumstances. This is why it is called CASUAL play.

If they are that fucked up then they need to keep their ass out of the line of fire.

(hop into the nearest foxhole Bob)

You are handing out alotta 'ass' there, holly.

Ron

only you would pick up on that, Ron. Well...you and Jeffffffff

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

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Post #: 71

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:17:26 AM

BLoved

Posts: 642
Joined: 8/5/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved
Who follows-up to see if they've damaged a virtual stranger, and who expects to know the difference with someone they barely know?

Believe it or not, some of us still go through the process of checking up on the people we play with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
Listen Bob...if i want to play casually i am not going to sit their ass down and assess their emotionally stability. Not my job. I will not assume responsibility for the emotional well being of another under those circumstances. This is why it is called CASUAL play.

If they are that fucked up then they need to keep their ass out of the line of fire.

And some don't.

_____________________________

When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

(in reply to LadyPact)

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Post #: 72

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:17:58 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*sobs*

he STILL has ignored my post

*yawn*

ETA: LaT.. I wasnt thinking sharp sticks in tender parts.. I was thinking more along the lines of electro-play, at the highest setting.

Hes ignored a few of mine too. He wont present his analysis and he also wont tell me what other topics he discusses or what hobbies he has.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to GreedyTop)

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Post #: 73

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:18:01 AM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear
You see bloved, I have no fear of my friendships being threatened because of what I do or what I think...because I make damn wise choices to who my friends are.

As do I, Bear.

If you find the implications of a different bdsm paradigm disturbing for you, you are free to ignore them.

Sorry mate but that isn't good enough.

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

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Post #: 74

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:19:04 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

but, Lushy.. at least he's responded to you at all! it's like I'm invisible!!! *sobs* my heart is broken! He's emotionally damaged me!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Post #: 75

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:19:42 AM

BLoved

Posts: 642
Joined: 8/5/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
There are those who take advantage. But they are not lifestylers. They are predators that use this lifestyle as a cover for being predators. Though you can find them everywhere including church.

You can call them whatever you wish, the fact remains that casual players do not concern themselves with the well-being of anyone but themselves.

That is the nature of their game.

If they cared, the relationship would be de facto Love-based, not Lust-based.

_____________________________

When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

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Post #: 76

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:21:21 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

one trick pony.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to BLoved)

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Post #: 77

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:21:41 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

HEY! GT, you can help Me here.

Let's say, just for shits and giggles, that you would have been able to make the trip out here a couple of months back AND you would have had the consent of your husband to play.

And, let's say that during that play, I spanked you, paddled you, flogged you, and we engaged in all kinds of lovely play activities that produced the chemical reaction of endorphins flooding the pleasure receptors in our brains so as to induce what is commonly known as 'space'. This, of course, only being after we have done pre-scene negotiations, where I ask you of your medical history for any potential issues that I may have to watch out for during our time together. Let's also not forget about post scene after care, as well as checking up on you a day or two later, ensuring that you were not experiencing drop and so on.

Give your honest assessment. Do you think that's damaging or do you think it sounds like a hell of a lot of fun?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to GreedyTop)

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Post #: 78

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:21:47 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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Now that I think about this....

bobby says we are all such horrible people but he comes back to us......he cannot stay away from us......

I think he secretly wants to be more like us.......but his personal hangups will not allow him.

I bet Domiguy is bobby's hero.

Put aside your puritanical upbringing bobby.............come over to the dark side!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

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Post #: 79

RE: A legend returns ... - 2/17/2010 8:21:52 AM

BLoved

Posts: 642
Joined: 8/5/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
he STILL has ignored my post

Hes ignored a few of mine too. He wont present his analysis and he also wont tell me what other topics he discusses or what hobbies he has.

lol

There is only one of me and there is a mob of people who want my attention.

The life of a legend is not always easy ;)

_____________________________

When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

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Post #: 80