LaTigresse
Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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Several recent and ongoing threads have got me wondering about a few things.
What if?
What if your dominant partner, master, mistress..........told you to jump off a cliff......would you do it?
First of all, I find these sorts of questions asinine. However, I wonder at the mindset that would A.) lead a person to wonder such a thing B.) ask such a thing C.) debate the specific act.
As I recently commented, that to me, it isn't about the cliff or the potential dangers, repercussions, obedience, etc at all. To ME it is about the trust and dynamic of the relationship.
I will use my horse as a simplistic example. Years ago I bought a horse that had only been used as a driving horse. From that use, he had issues with the type of riding I wanted to do. He only wanted to go down the road (cannot take a carriage through a ditch), was scared of every little thing he saw move beside him (blinders had protected him before) and was terrified to go up and down hills. Even a ditch was a big 'oh hell no!"
So, because I did not own a carriage, or wish to purchase one. I had to retrain him. I had to teach him that it was okay to leave the road, a ditch was not going to eat him, that if I shook my baseball cap beside his head it was not going to decapitate him. Because I could not immediately do every single thing I would ask him to do over the years within those first few weeks, he had to learn to trust me. To know that whatever I was going to ask him to do, would not hurt him.
Yes, we had an occasional rough spot. We once crossed a low spot in a field that looked perfectly fine, only to sink him chest deep in mud. It had a dry crust on top and looked like solid ground......but hid a danger I had not forseen. Fortunately I bailed quickly, he was able to get out, and neither of us were hurt. However, he did regress a bit and it took an hour the next day to convince him to walk through a ditch. He had lost his trust in me and I had to regain it. We worked it out and everything was fine. Since then we have gone through many ditches and ravines, a few creeks and rivers. Even mud holes....after I knew they were not going to swallow him.
That horse and I got to know one another. He knows that I will not ask him to do anything to hurt him so he does what I ask. I care about him and would NEVER ask him to do anything I thought for a moment would cause him hurt. I want to keep him around, I love the bugger. I want to know that I can trust him to do what I ask so I do not push him beyond our unspoken, but known and agreed upon, limits.
So, with that in mind, why on earth would a human/human relationship be less so? I would not dream of asking my horse to jump off a cliff......why would I ask a slave to do so?
If I asked my horse to walk into a dangerous muddy bog, hurting him time after time, he would never trust me. He would not be the trustworthy companion, mount, slave of sorts, that I want. If I consistently asked a human to do something dangerous in some way, they would cease trusting me and would not be the slave I desire. It would not serve me, our relationship, to do so.
I do not ask my horse to do unnecessary and risky things just to prove I am his master. I certainly wouldn't do it with a human being I cared about, jeopardize such an important relationship for such a shallow act.
So I sit here and wonder........the people that come up with this stuff......have they EVER had a successful relationship of ANY kind? Do they not understand that, regardless of dominant or submissive, it is about building the relationship, both parties serving the relationship?
Come on people! It's not about what the D or M can 'get' the s to do. Or what extreme things the s will do for the D or M to prove their s-ness. It really isn't.
< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 2/25/2010 7:37:46 AM >
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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!
Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!
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What if?!?!? - 
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