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No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 5:40:56 AM

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Every now and then I pull all the Canadian femsub profiles out of my "Hidden User" file.

Tells me who was viewing my profile (not that it mattered if they didn't write), let's me re-check all those profiles where the woman wrote nothing in her profile, reassures me that people are still using this site and reminds me of why I put so many of them in my hidden user file in the first place ...

... so many whose primary focus is sex.

No wonder there are so many wannabes ... the lowest common denominator.

So I start reading each profile, to see who goes back into the hidden file.

One by one they disappear until only a handful remain ... women sincerely seeking bdsm within a loving relationship.

And of course, I've most likely spoken to them already, discovering there was something about their requirements (or mine) that the other couldn't meet.

But I keep them up to reassure me there are still a few who seek true love.

Over and over I see the same complaints about wannabes ... from women whose primary focus is sex ... and I wonder, do they not recognize the connection between the two?

I've often thought there was a direct correlation between the standard a woman sets for a man and the number of wannabes: the higher the average standard, the fewer there will be.

Because I can see, just from reading the complaints in the profiles, that the lower the average standard, the more there are.

I just can't find it in me to be bothered showing an interest in someone whose standard is so low as to exclude a loving relationship, but I can see the appeal such a standard has for the wannabes.

Why do so many Canadian female submissives set their standards so low?

_____________________________

When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 5:58:52 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved
Why do so many Canadian female submissives set their standards so low?

And you think it's confined to just Canada because...?

Seriously, I know how lucky I am to have someone who not only loves me, but who shares my love of kink. It was a long road, which started off seemingly very vanilla.

If you limit your search for lovers who also enjoy kink to members of this site, you're doing yourself a huge injustice. They're everywhere, and not all of them have computers or wear their kink as a badge. Hell, not all of 'em realise they ARE kinky. It'll be your job and pleasure to bring it out of them.

I can only suggest what worked for me: Stop looking, be someone worth having and go into each relationship believing it'll last, instead of wondering when it'll be over.

_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to BLoved)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 6:32:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved
Why do so many Canadian female submissives set their standards so low?

And you think it's confined to just Canada because...?

I only view the Canadian female submissive profiles, so I have no opinion regarding the situation for other countries.

quote:

Seriously, I know how lucky I am to have someone who not only loves me, but who shares my love of kink. It was a long road, which started off seemingly very vanilla.

If you limit your search for lovers who also enjoy kink to members of this site, you're doing yourself a huge injustice. They're everywhere, and not all of them have computers or wear their kink as a badge. Hell, not all of 'em realise they ARE kinky. It'll be your job and pleasure to bring it out of them.

My experience with other bdsm sites is they are no different than this one in this respect: far too many with low standards.

As for vanilla women ... I've no reason to think they'd be interested in the relationship I seek.

It is interesting that when people think of "love" they think "vanilla", and when they think of "sex" they think "bdsm".

Says a lot about the stereotypes, as if a loving bdsm relationship is a contradiction in terms.

< Message edited by BLoved -- 2/27/2010 6:33:54 AM >

_____________________________

When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

(in reply to Fitznicely)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 6:50:24 AM

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From: Pennsylvania
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So if a Canadian woman is upfront with you regarding what she is looking for, and it does not match what you seek, she is a wannabe? Seriously, not every person is going to be compatible with you, it does not indicate that something is wrong with them.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to BLoved)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 6:52:07 AM

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I hear ya. All I can say is it does happen. There's many on the site who can attest to that - but there's also many more who've never heard of any kink site that can say that.

The whole BDSM=sex thing is down to the porn industry.

It's pretty clear that the vast majority of people's exposure to SM is through porn, and in just the same way that it's vaguely disappointing that your pizza isn't delivered by some horny teen girl, or that your plumber doesn't want to give you head, it's surprising to pretty much everyone that WIITWD isn't just what you can subscribe to on kink.com

Lament it all you want, it's the way of the world. For those who've found life partners through here or other kinky sites, rock on. I wouldn't dismiss the good old fashioned methods, though. Worked fine for me, and many millions of others

_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to BLoved)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 6:55:27 AM

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Bob? has it ever occurred to you that your pompous, holier than thou attitude is getting in your way?

Or perhaps these women read your profile and see you as a Castle Realm wannabe?

Katy?.... put on this Jay Cutler jersey and fetch me a straw!

Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 7:00:52 AM

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Bob, you are not able to be my hot little bitch slave girl.

You are just a wannabe.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to BLoved)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 7:01:37 AM

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From: Pennsylvania
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mmnn amusement parks, after dark, mmmnnn. (Cajun Bob would not approve!)

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 7:02:25 AM

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quote:

Why do so many Canadian female submissives set their standards so low?

Maybe there isn't much to choose from up there.

(in reply to BLoved)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 7:02:32 AM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
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From: The Great Frozen North
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OMG I'm a fake!......no wait, I'm a slave *phew*

Your posts on this subject smack of "one true way" BLoved. Believe it or not, love is not a requirement of some relationships, mine included. I am not his girlfriend, I'm his slave. Is he affectionate? Sure, absolutely, it's not like he just ignores me until the next time he needs something. Is love a necessary ingredient for our relationship to thrive? No, ours is a strong, thriving relationship without it.

My standards, when I was looking, weren't low, not at all, it just so happens that it turns out that love isn't so absolutely necessary, there are other things which make our relationship work. I thought I needed love, turns out I was wrong. Go figure. So in your eyes that makes me a wannabe - yet I'm in a strong, thriving relationship which does not include love.

Could it be that you are.....wrong?

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
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(in reply to BLoved)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 7:06:03 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely
I wouldn't dismiss the good old fashioned methods, though. Worked fine for me, and many millions of others

Worked fine for me too, providing I was in or near an urban centre.

Not the same when you live on a gravel road where there are more cows than people.

_____________________________

When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

(in reply to Fitznicely)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 7:07:40 AM

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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Maybe the only twue subs are in the city!

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to BLoved)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 7:10:46 AM

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Joined: 8/5/2009
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For the benefit of the reading-impaired ...

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

No wonder there are so many wannabes ... the lowest common denominator.

Over and over I see the same complaints about wannabes ... from women whose primary focus is sex ... and I wonder, do they not recognize the connection between the two?

I've often thought there was a direct correlation between the standard a woman sets for a man and the number of wannabes: the higher the average standard, the fewer there will be.

Because I can see, just from reading the complaints in the profiles, that the lower the average standard, the more there are.

I just can't find it in me to be bothered showing an interest in someone whose standard is so low as to exclude a loving relationship, but I can see the appeal such a standard has for the wannabes.

_____________________________

When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

(in reply to BLoved)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 7:20:09 AM

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You know June, the number of folks I would love to beat WITH you, keeps growing.

Ward

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 7:22:02 AM

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Joined: 2/17/2010
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Op...I have a lot more respect for wannabe bottoms than I do wanna be gods.

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 7:23:49 AM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
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From: The Great Frozen North
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We aren't reading-impaired, Bob, we just disagree with you. There are some of us who really don't need love to be in a thriving relationship. It doesn't make us reading impaired, it makes you wrong.

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to BLoved)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 7:26:25 AM

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I just got a c-mail from a sub asking Me why there were so many pompous jerk dominants in Canada.

Go figure

Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 7:27:45 AM

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O.o

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 7:28:25 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth
There are some of us who really don't need love to be in a thriving relationship.

True, some people just seek cheap thrills, and then wonder why so many wannabes write them.

_____________________________

When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 7:32:29 AM

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From: The cold bit of the UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

You know June, the number of folks I would love to beat WITH you, keeps growing.

Ward

Is there a list?

Can I sign up?

I don't love either of you, but I'm willing to live with the eternal emptiness of a hot pain session

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to Jeffff)

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