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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 7:45:02 AM

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I meant 'dominants do what they want to do' with regard to their submissives. But, yes, I take your point that dominants could suffer all kinds of insecurities about their desirability. That's quite painful to see, actually.

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 8:37:44 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
A dominant does what he or she wants to do.

I haven't seen that to be true. While there are some people, like me, who consider "dominance" to be a way to relate to the world in general, there are many people who consider "dominance" and "submission" to relate to what they want in their private relationships only. I know subs who are subs all the time, and subs who are only sub to their partner -- and I know doms who fit into similar categories. Just because a woman is a femdom in a particular relationship, it does not mean that in the world at large she does what she wants to, nor does it mean that she's good at choosing men to spend time with.

Besides, people who are single and looking can suffer doubt and insecurity about their desirability to a partner, no matter how confident they might be at other times. I've been there, and I bet most femdoms have too, even if they got 5,000 emails a day from people they didn't want to date. In fact, often women who receive the most attention are the most lonely, because they know people are approaching them for superficial reasons, not from some deeper motivation.

I honestly don't know how I feel about the whole "dominant as a personality" vs. "dominant in relationships." If people observed me, as a whole, in my daily interactions with work peers, service people, with people who are "my boss" and people I am "the boss of," no one would label me as "dominant."

The reality is that to get by in the real world, to succeed in business and to "win friends and influence people" you can't "be dominant." That doesn't work. You have to be able to read people and treat them in a manner that encourages them to come on board with you. I know dominant women in the workforce; they create enemies. Dominance is not a way to succeed - the ability to identify people who want to lead and want to follow and then treating them accordingly is what works.

I am by no means quiet, meek or unsure about things; however, I am not a bullshitter to my clients, and will tell a business peer, "I don't know, I will find out though," or admit when I have made a mistake or could do something better. This does not make me dominant, but it helps me earn confidence -- other people's confidence in my abilities. This is a far more "powerful currency" I can use in my daily life and in business than being "dominant." Being dominant just invites challenges, makes other people feel threatened and is an inconsistent way to keep people motivated and earn trust.

I suppose we could get into all kinds of ways to define power, or dominance, but I had to just throw that out there.

Akasha

< Message edited by AAkasha -- 3/17/2010 8:38:37 AM >

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 11:27:16 AM

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Well, for my part: it's never been part of my fantasy to be with a woman who is 'universally dominant'. If she's like that, fine (though, admittedly, in my experience really dominating people have been a bit mad as well). If she isn't, also fine. I'm happy to start in the bedroom, then see what happens.

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 12:29:32 PM

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Trying to be universally dominant to everyone in your daily life is a surefire way to drain yourself emotionally, mostly because the D/s is not consensual, and others who want the dominant position will engage in pissing contests with you. For the sake of an operation running smoothly, there are times to lead, follow and get out of the way. Its amusing when people expect a domme to dominate EVERYONE. Curiously, the women I know who are the most dominant in life, in the workplace, etc. are the ones who long for a firm-handed man to come in and take over. This always makes for interesting misconceptions, as the subs are often attracted to them and they repel the doms.

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 2:31:26 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: brainiacsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I am not picking on you so don't take this personally.

But we are the Doms....We take what we want. We are at the top of the fucking food chain. We don't wait for or prey to come to us...Fuck that!!! They are not worthy.

Hang on a minute, now domi. I'd rethink this if I were you. Your references to the animal kingdom, i.e. jelly fish and lions, although appropriate, is not entirely correct. For many species, it is the female - regardless of sexual dominance or submissive role - who actually chooses the most worthy male. The males strut and preen to demonstrate their prowess and strength and overall desirability, but ultimately he will only mate with the females who deem him worthy. Once she has chosen, he may claim her and have his way, but until then his flashy peacock feathers make for just good sport and show. The human animal has elevated such behavior beyond mere science to a form of high art.

Now in the case of many spiders, the female is generally the dominant and will proceed to kill and devour the male after mating. But please... feel free to continue teasing the Dommes.

Isn't this the truth. Women are the choosers. Men worth anything don't have a problem with this. Men who aren't ever picked by a woman are the ones with the chips on their shoulders over it.

(in reply to brainiacsub)

RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 4:02:48 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsHValentine

quote:

ORIGINAL: brainiacsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I am not picking on you so don't take this personally.

But we are the Doms....We take what we want. We are at the top of the fucking food chain. We don't wait for or prey to come to us...Fuck that!!! They are not worthy.

Hang on a minute, now domi. I'd rethink this if I were you. Your references to the animal kingdom, i.e. jelly fish and lions, although appropriate, is not entirely correct. For many species, it is the female - regardless of sexual dominance or submissive role - who actually chooses the most worthy male. The males strut and preen to demonstrate their prowess and strength and overall desirability, but ultimately he will only mate with the females who deem him worthy. Once she has chosen, he may claim her and have his way, but until then his flashy peacock feathers make for just good sport and show. The human animal has elevated such behavior beyond mere science to a form of high art.

Now in the case of many spiders, the female is generally the dominant and will proceed to kill and devour the male after mating. But please... feel free to continue teasing the Dommes.

Isn't this the truth. Women are the choosers. Men worth anything don't have a problem with this. Men who aren't ever picked by a woman are the ones with the chips on their shoulders over it.

You really need to get rid of that snake it is cutting off the flow of blood to your little brain.

It is a two way street. If women never pursue a man then they cannot claim they are the "choosers." However, they do have the ability to "sort."

In this dating thang that we do, water does tend to seek it's own level. You don't want to be that cat that out kicked his coverage no more than you want to date too far beneath your bad self.....

You never want to hear, "What is he doing with her?"

Now if you are an attractive gal you are definitely going to get your fair share of potential suitors. Now I now you crafty CUNTS have a way of gaining the attention of someone without walking right up and saying, "Let's remove these jeans between us." But still, guys are kind of dumb critters and without receiving a direct and straight forward "come on" it just might get lost in translation. Even after all of your sorting you still might not wind up with your ideal pahtnah. Sucks to be you.

So you take a look at MsHvalentine and you stack her up against the majority of the Dommes out here....Not much of a contest. I mean honest to God, you little subby boys, who you gonna call? The chick is kind of bangin'...and she comes out here doing and saying all the right domme shit...About how women are the choosers and you cute lil' subby boys would be lucky to lick her shit....But come on! What's up with the snake? How weak is that shit?

look guys...She is just another chick...It wouldn't be the first or the last time I brought an Asian to the occasion...but she ain't all that. ho hum.

Subby boys, snap out of it!!!!

MsH, good luck with your sortin'.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 3/17/2010 4:07:53 PM >

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 4:07:09 PM

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Because of years of embarrassing rejection, combined with sexual frustration and entitlement, you've blossomed into a misogynist and social retard. Don't hate women for rejecting you. It's your own fault you know. You don't have to be the center of a woman's attention to be valuable. You're valuable on your own ... because you're a funny guy, right?

< Message edited by MsHValentine -- 3/17/2010 4:13:48 PM >

(in reply to domiguy)

RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 4:16:46 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsHValentine

Because of years of embarrassing rejection, combined with sexual frustration and entitlement, you've blossomed into a misogynist and social retard. Don't hate women for rejecting you. It's your own fault you know. You don't have to be the center of woman's attention to be valuable. You're valuable on your own ... because you're a funny guy, right?

I don't know...Think how well I would be received if I dared to compliment my Domliness and my sensational sense of humor with a fucking snake? I would rule the world!!!

Here is a picture of me with a boa..How hot is this shit?

< Message edited by domiguy -- 3/17/2010 4:49:36 PM >

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 4:51:56 PM

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Quick message to everyone, but particularly to joether, ThatDamnedPanda, LadyDelilahDeb, and MsStarlett;

joether: Please accept my apology for my contribution in the hijacking of your thread. This wasn't my intent, but I allowed myself to get caught up in a degenerated portion of the conversion. Sorry about that.

ThatDamnedPanda: Thank you for your compliments and for your note. To avoid further hijacking of the OP's thread, I won't comment further.

LadyDelilahDeb and MsStarlett: regarding "don't feed...", you are both absolutely correct, of course. Thanks for the reminder.

Elan.

(in reply to joether)

RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 5:19:14 PM

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To the op....I apologize for hijacking your thread.

To thatdamnedpanda, stop messaging me. No, you cannot blow me.

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 6:07:04 PM

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And you're just another puny pecker overweight, lazy reject who can't get any Pussy. You have a love hate relationship with it. You crave it, no woman wants to give you any, so the lack of sex frustrates you. Pussy seems to be the source of your misery.

(in reply to domiguy)

RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 6:09:10 PM

Level

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Glad to see DG's apology go over so well....

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(in reply to MsHValentine)

RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 6:57:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsHValentine

And you're just another puny pecker overweight, lazy reject who can't get any Pussy. You have a love hate relationship with it. You crave it, no woman wants to give you any, so the lack of sex frustrates you. Pussy seems to be the source of your misery.

And you are just another underachieving Asian chick forced into the wonderful world of femdom to try and make ends meet. Your mother always hoped you would be an engineer. It's all so sad.

Good sortin' to ya.

Sorry to the op. Back to your regularly scheduled misery.

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 7:08:40 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyDelilahDeb

As for the long-winded and vulgar thread-jacking creep who can't even capitalize his screen name? I usually do my best to ignore him from the get-go. I have no idea why he posts here, except as a classic "attention-getting device."

Lady Delilah Deb

Now seriously, you value someone or not based on capitalization?? There are many reasons to listen to or value another human, or not. If you consider online capitalization to be one of them, it is time to turn off the computer.

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 7:16:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lauren0221

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyDelilahDeb

As for the long-winded and vulgar thread-jacking creep who can't even capitalize his screen name? I usually do my best to ignore him from the get-go. I have no idea why he posts here, except as a classic "attention-getting device."

Lady Delilah Deb

Now seriously, you value someone or not based on capitalization?? There are many reasons to listen to or value another human, or not. If you consider online capitalization to be one of them, it is time to turn off the computer.

I am just a cute lil' subby boy at heart...Did you see that pic where LadyDelilahDeb looks like Freddy Krueger? Scary shit...Then I noticed that she was wearing those things on her fingers!!! Yikes!!!

Sorry to the op

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 7:18:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lauren0221

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyDelilahDeb

As for the long-winded and vulgar thread-jacking creep who can't even capitalize his screen name? I usually do my best to ignore him from the get-go. I have no idea why he posts here, except as a classic "attention-getting device."

Lady Delilah Deb

Now seriously, you value someone or not based on capitalization?? There are many reasons to listen to or value another human, or not. If you consider on line capitalization to be one of them, it is time to turn off the computer.

Sometimes folks who use the name "Lady"?... not quite so much.

I am now going to step out of this thread. I too apologize for the disruption

< Message edited by Jeffff -- 3/17/2010 7:20:54 PM >

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 7:19:40 PM

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To all involved, time to put out the flames and the derailing.

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 7:25:24 PM

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[woopsy

< Message edited by domiguy -- 3/17/2010 7:26:11 PM >

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 7:49:51 PM

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Don't fuck with the Nun dude. I was raised Catholic....... you don't want that kind of beating.

Jeff

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 8:00:09 PM

sweetboundesire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: joether

What if:

Things were reversed on collarme? The messages sent and recieved, were reversed. Dommes, instead of getting enough mail to build a sky-scraper, now only get one mail a month. Male subs, were flooded with mailings.

At first, both parties would be happy, but after a few months, wouldn't the process simply become as it is now, but just opposite? Would male subs come to respect Dommes more, given, they have to (and I hate to say this in the same sentence as a Domme/Lady) whore themselves out? Would Dommes really feel respected, that their sub could drop them for someone else?

Yes, short term the concept sounds amusing, even a vacation. But long term, would it really be good for the concept of Femdom?

lol, i just read what started the war.

Just a consideration to the subject since it's like asking, what if we worked when we slept and slept when we worked sort of thing...

wow what a question to get so riley about!

I have no answer to your question but if i used my imagination and thought about if it were me, being a Domme with tons of emails from sub men. I would feel that there is a lot of bs to sift thru, although quantity may be nice, in the end it is quality that matters and the quality is always rare, few and far between. The best I could answer, would be to say, it's no easier with a ton of mail or a few emails...because in the end, the quality factor is what counts and in the end, fewer emails would make the quality factor possibly higher and less of a headache to obtain.

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(in reply to joether)

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