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RE: What If: - 3/16/2010 5:51:45 PM

VaguelyCurious

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nm-double post. Sorreeeee :-(

< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 3/16/2010 6:04:56 PM >

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RE: What If: - 3/16/2010 5:53:14 PM

VaguelyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I read crap posted here quite often that I find appalling. "Upset" might be the wrong word, but I will go with it..

If you post in a public forum, you put your shit out there for the world to see and you take your lumps as they are dealt.

I can accept that. But I've seen a few times when Domi has just been outright nasty, and it's come from nowhere. If your justification for that is that some compatible woman might see it, and you think that makes it ok, then that makes me think differently of you, Jeff.

Just because someone 'puts their shit out there' doesn't mean that you have to go and stamp on their faces.

quote:

Are you saying that My words have upset you? Are you saying that others have?

No-I'm made of sterner stuff than that. But c'mon-not everyone is...

quote:

Are you saying that people are so weak and soft in their beliefs that a man with an anteater as an avatar can make them feel bad about themselves?

I'm not talking about slitting wrists and jumping off buildings here. I'm talking about someone walking away from the computer feeling a little bit worse than they did when they sat down, for no better reason than Domi pretending to have perma-PMT in his quest for sarcastic gash.

quote:

If that is true than they should probably get help of a more professional sort. Poor self esteem is the brains way of warning you.

Well if it's upsetting them in an extreme way, then maybe they should. But how does that make it ok to mock them?

<edited cause it's past midnight and I therefore cannot spell.>

< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 3/16/2010 5:55:56 PM >

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RE: What If: - 3/16/2010 6:03:16 PM

RedMagic1

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How did a thread in Ask A Mistress morph into a discussion of a particular dominant male poster?

I'm going back to my original point.

There have definitely been women who rejected me because I wasn't sufficiently cavemanish, or "enough of an asshole" (her words, not mine). I don't see women as flesh to be devoured, though -- and a lot of women do have that fantasy, to be completely used and spent. Never mind how long the walk of shame will be the next morning. I love rough sex, but I am only interested in building long-term friendships. I have had one-offs before, and probably will again, but we both thought at the time it might lead to more. Someone who is only looking for fun will have no interest in me. In any case, I don't flirt directly. I talk about everything except sex, and wait until she wishes to hell I would bring it up already, because she's already getting hot.

When I read Voodali's first post on this thread, I thought of a woman dropping her handkerchief so the man could pick it up and perform a service for her. He is the active one, but she is creating a scenario in which he can be active. I don't consider that to be passive on the woman's part.

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RE: What If: - 3/16/2010 6:08:33 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

How did a thread in Ask A Mistress morph into a discussion of a particular dominant male poster?

I was wondering about that too...lol. Normally the ladies here manage to stay on topic fairly well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

When I read Voodali's first post on this thread, I thought of a woman dropping her handkerchief so the man could pick it up and perform a service for her. He is the active one, but she is creating a scenario in which he can be active. I don't consider that to be passive on the woman's part.

Indeed.

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RE: What If: - 3/16/2010 6:09:09 PM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

What he hopes to achieve is what many of us hope to achieve. We wouldn't mind running into someone smart, someone with a native intelligence who can recognize satire. We might also hope to find someone who doesn't think all this stuff is sooooo serious.

We might hope to find someone who can think for themselves.

If they happen to be rather dirty little whores... that's nice too

So your status as intrepid but so-far-unsuccessful gash-hunters gives you (plural-not just you, Jeffff) license to be cruel to others? Even if you class it as satire it still upsets people-you're making someone else's day a little bit worse on the offchance that a woman you might be interested in might see it.

Mature, that.

Cruel in a very broad based stroke. I have been incredibly civil to all who have approached.

As a professional gash hunter you have to realize you can't please every slit in the bunch.

Do you ever read how the Dommes treat the little subbies on this thang? They make me look like Mother Theresa.

It is the laws of attraction and large numbers. They are far more males chasing around Dommes than female subbies pining for us swinging dicks. Dommes can be the biggest of cunts and still have these bitches coming back for more.

I know from meeting Jeffff is that what you see out here is pretty much what you get. He has a great sense of humor, does not want to attract every woman that is on this thang.

There are a ton of puds that frequent this thang that would give their left nut to have any woman, accept any woman that would agree to submit to them. Quality means shit. I know that Jefff as well as myself have never felt this way.

There is no pay off for being complacent or being average. Their is nothing gained if nothing is lost. It's not a facade, it's not an act. I like edge and I have always responded well to those that respond in like. If you don't got what it takes twix the ears what am I supposed to do with you when I am finished with your ass?

+2

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RE: What If: - 3/16/2010 6:17:21 PM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

How did a thread in Ask A Mistress morph into a discussion of a particular dominant male poster?

Had to cut down your post...It just yammered on about your thoughts and your feelings and something about vadooli....It was kind of embarrassing.

Red, I am only hear to Dom the Domme....Join me in this crusade!!! They will speak of our exploits for generations. The elders will sing our songs to the children of the tribe. How we changed the face of bdsm and righted a grievous wrong. How the Dommes caught our wildebeest while we spent our time flicking away flies with our tails.

Join me Red. You magnificent bastard!!! I am your density!

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RE: What If: - 3/16/2010 6:50:42 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

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quote:

ORIGINAL: joether

What if:

Things were reversed on collarme? The messages sent and recieved, were reversed. Dommes, instead of getting enough mail to build a sky-scraper, now only get one mail a month. Male subs, were flooded with mailings.

At first, both parties would be happy, but after a few months, wouldn't the process simply become as it is now, but just opposite? Would male subs come to respect Dommes more, given, they have to (and I hate to say this in the same sentence as a Domme/Lady) whore themselves out? Would Dommes really feel respected, that their sub could drop them for someone else?

Yes, short term the concept sounds amusing, even a vacation. But long term, would it really be good for the concept of Femdom?

I won't venture an opinion on whether it would be good or bad for "the concept of femdom" because my concept is probably not the same as yours. But as to your other questions, I'm not sure it - in and of itself - would have any effect at all on whether men respected women or women felt respected. People who truly respect others respect them because they conduct themselves in a respectable fashion. There's nothing inherently disreputable about being the person who initiates contact, and any man who thinks it is disreputable for a woman to do that is probably not someone who respects women in the first place.

And as for women feeling disrespected because their men could leave more easily, I don't follow that one at all. If their man did leave in a hurtful and emotionally irresponsible manner, then of course they'd feel disrespected, and with good reason. But to feel disrespected for something someone might do - a woman would have to have some real issues to feel disrespected over something as silly as that.

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RE: What If: - 3/16/2010 6:56:52 PM

Smutmonger

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FR...this sort of bitter whining is almost standard behavior from male fetishists who want to marginalize and use Female Tops. And then whine about being used by the pros who take advantage of thier selfish laziness,and lack of resolve.

In fact,I could probably retire tomorrow-if I had five cents from every whine one of these retarded men put out.

There ain't no such thing as a free lunch guys-deal with it.

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RE: What If: - 3/16/2010 6:58:51 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Elan,

I've come across Domi before, don't worry.

It's just that the internet makes it kinda hard to tell whether or not he means the stuff he comes out with....

There's a simple rule of thumb that I've found works well. If he's acting like a total asshole, assume he means it. If he's acting like a decent, civilized human being, assume he doesn't; it's just another facade, intended to get him laid. It's really very simple - if you just proceed from the assumption that he's always a complete asshole, you'll never be very wrong, seldom wrong at all, and you're not missing out on anything worthwhile.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

What he hopes to achieve is what many of us hope to achieve. We wouldn't mind running into someone smart, someone with a native intelligence who can recognize satire. We might also hope to find someone who doesn't think all this stuff is sooooo serious.

We might hope to find someone who can think for themselves.

If they happen to be rather dirty little whores... that's nice too

So your status as intrepid but so-far-unsuccessful gash-hunters gives you (plural-not just you, Jeffff) license to be cruel to others? Even if you class it as satire it still upsets people-you're making someone else's day a little bit worse on the offchance that a woman you might be interested in might see it.

Mature, that.

Nicely done. Kudos.

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RE: What If: - 3/16/2010 7:00:32 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

Your privacy is your privacy. You may choose not to reply and that's fine. I just don't get what you hope to achieve with your approach on the forums. Perhaps this is all just entertainment to you? Do you realize that in many cases your "entertainment" is at other people's expense? I encourage you to look up the meaning of the phrase "Internet Bully". You're on the edge of this and I don't think you want to be.

Not to quibble, because I agree with almost everything you say, but I can't agree with this one. I think it's abundantly clear that's exactly what he wants to be. If he didn't, he wouldn't boast about it as much as he does. This is how he compensates for his self-esteem issues - being a complete asshole is his way of announcing what a brave man he is, like the chimpanzee who asserts his dominance in the troop by throwing his own shit harder than the other chimpanzees. No difference. He genuinely thinks this is something to be proud of, and it's everyone else's problem if they don't see it the way he does.

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RE: What If: - 3/16/2010 7:01:45 PM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Elan,

I've come across Domi before, don't worry.

It's just that the internet makes it kinda hard to tell whether or not he means the stuff he comes out with....

There's a simple rule of thumb that I've found works well. If he's acting like a total asshole, assume he means it. If he's acting like a decent, civilized human being, assume he doesn't; it's just another facade, intended to get him laid. It's really very simple - if you just proceed from the assumption that he's always a complete asshole, you'll never be very wrong, seldom wrong at all, and you're not missing out on anything worthwhile.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

What he hopes to achieve is what many of us hope to achieve. We wouldn't mind running into someone smart, someone with a native intelligence who can recognize satire. We might also hope to find someone who doesn't think all this stuff is sooooo serious.

We might hope to find someone who can think for themselves.

If they happen to be rather dirty little whores... that's nice too

So your status as intrepid but so-far-unsuccessful gash-hunters gives you (plural-not just you, Jeffff) license to be cruel to others? Even if you class it as satire it still upsets people-you're making someone else's day a little bit worse on the offchance that a woman you might be interested in might see it.

Mature, that.

Nicely done. Kudos.

Well it's good to see my bitch show up. Always right behind me rimming my asshole.

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RE: What If: - 3/16/2010 7:04:59 PM

ElanSubdued

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VaguelyCurious,

There's something quite endearing about a woman who can use the phrase "gash-hunters" in a literate and simultaneously compassionate way. :-)

Note to Domiguy and Jeffff: *this* is an effective use of vulgarity... some of the other approaches I've seen, not so much so. Yeah, yeah, yeah... I get the "satire bit" and all that. It still doesn't wear well with repetitive use, especially when the targets of your satire haven't consented. Let's all run around calling dominant women "dumb cunts". I find no intelligence or wit here, and certainly no courtesy or grace. This is shock value, teenager stuff. Bah. You're not selling me on the idea that this is some kind of new, miracle, pick-up approach that women can't resist. Quite to the contrary, with only a few exceptions, this seems to drive women away en masse. For the life of me, I can't understand why. (Now *that* was sarcasm and satire. :-)

Elan.

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RE: What If: - 3/16/2010 7:11:40 PM

sweetboundesire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

quote:

PeonForHer:
You should really try to avoid posting when it's that time of the month for you, DG . . . .

+1

You don't even have a profile....-1

Neither do you-not really.
-1 for hipocrisy.

I have a profile...It lists all sorts of goodies. My height as well as my loathing of archaeology.

I can't just totally spill the beans. Where is the mystery in that? Quite frankly I wouldn't have the time to deal with all of the mail.

+1.

lmao, it's true, you really do hate archaeology, if anyone ever wants to torture DG, just harness him in the lazyboy and put some good dino dig on tv...he will be dead with in hours

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RE: What If: - 3/16/2010 7:18:01 PM

WyldHrt

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quote:

if anyone ever wants to torture DG, just harness him in the lazyboy and put some good dino dig on tv...he will be dead with in hours

Good to know

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RE: What If: - 3/16/2010 7:19:49 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

How did a thread in Ask A Mistress morph into a discussion of a particular dominant male poster?

I don't know why you're asking me that question, Red. I think most of us have got DG's number and breeze through his posts if we want to. Yet, I can't blame anyone for having a pop at him if, for instance, he calls women 'cunts'. I can understand that some may believe this particular insult, at least, should never be allowed to pass without comment.

quote:

I'm going back to my original point.

There have definitely been women who rejected me because I wasn't sufficiently cavemanish, or "enough of an asshole" (her words, not mine). I don't see women as flesh to be devoured, though -- and a lot of women do have that fantasy, to be completely used and spent. Never mind how long the walk of shame will be the next morning. I love rough sex, but I am only interested in building long-term friendships. I have had one-offs before, and probably will again, but we both thought at the time it might lead to more. Someone who is only looking for fun will have no interest in me. In any case, I don't flirt directly. I talk about everything except sex, and wait until she wishes to hell I would bring it up already, because she's already getting hot.

When I read Voodali's first post on this thread, I thought of a woman dropping her handkerchief so the man could pick it up and perform a service for her. He is the active one, but she is creating a scenario in which he can be active. I don't consider that to be passive on the woman's part.

Yes - that image could work as a way of arguing for the non-passivity of a woman who 'waits for men to come to her' - just as you could retort to a woman who demands a 'caveman' that a man with intelligence is self-evidently more dominant than one without. To me, this groping for images and arguments to validate one's dominance is a hiding to nothing. There'll always be images, comparisons, 'lessons from 'Nature', arguments of all kinds, that can be employed either to 'validate' or 'negate' a dominant's dominance.

A dominant does what he or she wants to do. I don't see that any more is required, nor that any less will do.

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 12:50:50 AM

LadyDelilahDeb

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About the original question:

It's an amusing thought experiment for about a minute. But "whoring themselves out"? Is that how you see male subs? Seems to me that's back to assuming that every endorphin-generating experience (whether or not it's explicitly sexual in nature) between two people demands a financial exchange.

Now the question of who does the pursuing is a better one. Alas, when I drop someone a line who might be interesting to me, I generally end up with someone who either wants online play (wank fodder), or regrets that he is so far away from me, or wants to dive into an instant intimacy.

As for the long-winded and vulgar thread-jacking creep who can't even capitalize his screen name? I usually do my best to ignore him from the get-go. I have no idea why he posts here, except as a classic "attention-getting device."

Please, please…don't, I repeat do not, feed the trolls.

Lady Delilah Deb

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 4:26:15 AM

MsStarlett

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Whoa! Don't you folks know better than to feed the Trolls?

OP - Before your thread was so mercilessly Jacked, you had a valid question. Although, this post will most likely be lost in a sea of trash talk, I would like to answer you.

I have often hear sub males complaining "Why are Dommes so MEAN? Why don't they answer their mail? I'm trying to be nice and I just get ignored." I occasionally tell them to try making a fake Domme profile with a downloaded hot pic from some porn site and the exact same information that they are using for their real sub male profile. Just keep it for a week or two. Sit back and READ how many men send them garbage similar to what 'you know who' has been spilling all over this thread. Dommes are so frequently treated like Free whores, is it surprising that so many start charging for it? There are a limited number of ways to deal with the onslaught of bad behavior. One, is to just leave, which MANY good Dommes do. As stated, turn Pro. Or grow a thick skin and start being mean about it. Don't take any shit from anyone. Hit that Ignore button. Piss off even more horney net geeks posing as sub males because you didn't answer their "Do Me" mail so they can come whining to the "Ask a Mistress" area about "Why can't I find a Domme to do every thing I want her to do?"

Frequently, it seems to be a No Win scenario for Dommes. But once in a blue moon, a good one comes along and makes it all worth while.

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 5:44:37 AM

CarrieO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyDelilahDeb

It's an amusing thought experiment for about a minute. But "whoring themselves out"? Is that how you see male subs? Seems to me that's back to assuming that every endorphin-generating experience (whether or not it's explicitly sexual in nature) between two people demands a financial exchange.

LadyDelilahDeb, please forgive the shortening of your post but the quote above is what I'd like to address.

Back in the beginning of this thread I asked the same question as the bolded portion above. Do sub men feel they whore themselves out to dominant women? I'd love to have the OP come back and clarify the wording in his original question but I am curious to hear if the men here relate at all to his statement...

quote:

ORIGINAL: joether
Would male subs come to respect Dommes more, given, they have to (and I hate to say this in the same sentence as a Domme/Lady) whore themselves out?

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 6:16:42 AM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

Whoa! Don't you folks know better than to feed the Trolls?

OP - Before your thread was so mercilessly Jacked, you had a valid question. Although, this post will most likely be lost in a sea of trash talk, I would like to answer you.

I have often hear sub males complaining "Why are Dommes so MEAN? Why don't they answer their mail? I'm trying to be nice and I just get ignored." I occasionally tell them to try making a fake Domme profile with a downloaded hot pic from some porn site and the exact same information that they are using for their real sub male profile. Just keep it for a week or two. Sit back and READ how many men send them garbage similar to what 'you know who' has been spilling all over this thread. Dommes are so frequently treated like Free whores, is it surprising that so many start charging for it? There are a limited number of ways to deal with the onslaught of bad behavior. One, is to just leave, which MANY good Dommes do. As stated, turn Pro. Or grow a thick skin and start being mean about it. Don't take any shit from anyone. Hit that Ignore button. Piss off even more horney net geeks posing as sub males because you didn't answer their "Do Me" mail so they can come whining to the "Ask a Mistress" area about "Why can't I find a Domme to do every thing I want her to do?"

Frequently, it seems to be a No Win scenario for Dommes. But once in a blue moon, a good one comes along and makes it all worth while.

I dont think theres really all that much difference between the Dominant or submissive male. In this masculine world they have learned its all about them and they are lead by their head, but not the one with the brain. The only difference is how they are gonna "get some" of what they think they are entiltled to. The only thing different is the angle.

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RE: What If: - 3/17/2010 6:29:46 AM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
A dominant does what he or she wants to do.

I haven't seen that to be true. While there are some people, like me, who consider "dominance" to be a way to relate to the world in general, there are many people who consider "dominance" and "submission" to relate to what they want in their private relationships only. I know subs who are subs all the time, and subs who are only sub to their partner -- and I know doms who fit into similar categories. Just because a woman is a femdom in a particular relationship, it does not mean that in the world at large she does what she wants to, nor does it mean that she's good at choosing men to spend time with.

Besides, people who are single and looking can suffer doubt and insecurity about their desirability to a partner, no matter how confident they might be at other times. I've been there, and I bet most femdoms have too, even if they got 5,000 emails a day from people they didn't want to date. In fact, often women who receive the most attention are the most lonely, because they know people are approaching them for superficial reasons, not from some deeper motivation.

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