Andalusite
Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
Anda, for real? You could just say hi to me, instead of creating an artificial difference of opinion to start a conversation. You're a dancer, and have been for years. Five pounds. My comments -- and the entire thread -- had to do with obesity, not dropping the five pounds needed to get back into that size two miniskirt after the Christmas season.
Hi, Red, I didn't mean to be abrupt when I responded to you, but I was in a bit of a hurry and wanted to reply before I had to leave.
I know I didn't loose much, but some people do seem to feel it is a blanket unacceptable thing to ask of anybody. I have more experience with the other side of the coin. My former submissive lost about 50 pounds in the first year and a half or so that we were together, and kept it off for about 7 years, although he did put it back on after he married someone else. A couple of Tops I dated also asked me for some help and support in losing weight, and lost ~30-40 pounds in a bit over a year, and have kept it off since. None wound up skinny per se, but were able to develop healthier eating and exercise habits.
No crash diets, starving, or beating them for gaining or not losing enough, just things like going grocery shopping with them, helping them find healthy recipes they liked, doing martial arts or going dancing or working out *together*, stuff like that. I'm not a nutritionist or a personal trainer, but I did ask that each of them go to their doctor for a checkup and to find out if they had any restrictions I needed to be aware of first. I didn't ask any of them to loose weight, they asked *me* to help them, which was what you had said you weren't comfortable with in your post. They didn't feel they knew where to get started, and were a little overwhelmed, but I didn't ride them about it or handle it in a negative way, or set a specific goal for them.
One of them also asked me for help getting over his extreme discomfort with needles - he felt sick to his stomach, lightheaded, and had a hard time sitting still when the doctor had to draw blood. Again, it was *his* idea to work on it, and I helped him in a positive, uplifting way. I got a couple of syringes and needles, and photos of them, and we gradually worked on getting closer and closer until I could touch his skin with the needle without any fear. We didn't do needleplay - it wasn't the pain that bothered him, but the build-up to it, if that makes sense. A different guy asked me for similar help with spiders, I've taught a few of my ex-boyfriends to drive stick shift and one to drive at all, tutored them on classwork for school, and so forth. I enjoy helping people, as long as they're motivated to put effort in, too.
Smutmonger, since I have lost weight very quickly and unintentionally, I do tend to be sympathetic that other people might have the opposite problem. I couldn't eat enough to keep up, even by taking Ensure or other supplements. It didn't quite get to the point where I had to be hospitalised, but people were asking if I was sick or doing drugs, and I lost my period for 3 months without being pregnant, since I was so underweight. It was very scary, and I didn't feel at all in control of my body. In general, I have no problem with people for being attracted to whatever characteristics they're attracted to, it's only when they feel the need to insult people who don't fit their standards that I get annoyed at them. 
< Message edited by Andalusite -- 3/29/2010 7:35:05 AM >
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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 
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