alhamdullilah
Posts: 81
Joined: 2/18/2010
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 But wait..! What if beating her is not intended as constructive punishment but rather simple consequence and well-earned release of frustration? He has to put up with her annoying BS and if he wants to get his aggressions out and she continues to consent to that dynamic, then she ought to receive it, grateful that at the very least, the reddening of her flesh might ease his aggravation, if just a little!
I'm all for constructive and reasonable and safe, sane and consensual but it doesn't exclude a relationship in which the psychological masochist gets her beating and the sadist gets his rocks off as a valid format within the overall lifestyle. And, as for the comments about his intellect and hers... what if he isn't terribly bright and, ideally, neither is she? (Not offering that as an observation, just as a hypothetical.) Do those who fall below some set of digits meant to quantify IQ not have a right to participate in their preferred form of the lifestyle? I'd be happy for each of them for having found a compatible mate - we should all be so fortunate!
As for my own opinion, OP, I have to agree with the poster who laid you bare as wanting to share with others that you're going to be punished, that you're carrying in your gut a blissful and anxious excitement, mingled with fear and a rather primal yearning to be under his belt. I can remember feeling that way myself. Your approach to it, however, was in my opinion, quite inappropriate and disrespectful to your Master. If you desire to grow in your submission, consider the many responses you've received here and try to step outside yourself a little to view the objective impression your query left on others and especially with consideration that you publicly questioned your Master. I agree with the poster who said you ought to punished for doing that as bringing him dishonor or disgrace is, certainly in my thinking, just about at the top of the list when sorting examples of "bad behavior". It's kind of up there where the consequences are sometimes an end to the relationship, release from your submissive role, since it undermines the entire dynamic and all its value. One must be careful of such mistakes in judgment and keep her focus on her purpose and place, mindful most of what might bring her Master pleasure or peace at any given moment.
It's blissful being a slave, though, isn't it?  The butterflies in your belly, the stimulation of mind and body, the rush and euphoria that has no comparison is oh so sweet - and yet, some of us arive at those sensations feeling a desperate, aching need for them, by means that others will regard as phony submission, insincerity and certainly self-centeredness. I do, in fact believe that it's important to avoid making truth out of those accusations. When we are after a feeling, we are serving ourselves. Sharing the depth of your desire to be submissive, to be wholly relinquished and spiritually naked at his feet, given to his whims and the way it all makes you feel and sometimes inclines you to behave perhaps, can only make the relationship stronger. And, afterall, there wouldn't be a lifestyle of these sorts of desires and inclinations if slaves didn't experience pleasure from giving themselves to another, some to sadists, some to gentlemen. It would just be hypocritical for us to make that pleasure a higher priority than the pleasure and serenity of the one we choose to serve. Serenity is a biggee for an awful lot of men and is the antithesis of drama. So be cautious. Reveal yourself to him rather than merely to strangers. A slave retains nothing, reserves nothing but rather reveals everything to the one who owns her and all that she is.
Of course, if there is that part of you that gets something out of being punished , even if it's only the anticipation and you loath the actual beating (cause I can relate to that) you risk giving yourself away, don't you? - just as a slave should - and your better informed Master may decide not to punish you in a manner that holds any amount of appeal for you and then that would just SUCK, right? Depending on the depth and nature of your submission, of course, it's my belief that you owe it to your Master from whom you receive and expect guidance and attentiveness, to reveal yourself to him even when it means your desires may not get served as a result. It's another way that a slave surrenders her will to his and something of a yardstick as it were for measuring the degree to which you are capable and willing to extend yourself to his service and relinquish yourself to submission and the man you call Master.
Sorry if this was too long , but if there's a morsel in it that finds you and sparks a little introspection, perhaps, then it may have been worth the time to write it. We are not all cut from the same cloth, nor submit ourselves in the same manner but the ideal of meeting their needs and their desires before our own, never sacrificing their pleasure for the sake of serving ourselves in some way is pretty much an ideal that stretches the continuum of opinions and perspectives within the general category we've elected to join here. I rather hope that I'll find one I will ache to please, to anticipate his needs and desires and that the one will value me for my style of submission as well as my innate, God-given, experience-driven, sincere and grateful for every taste of it kind of kink. If what gets me hot doesn't get him off, I hope I'll find myself getting hot over whatever does get him off. But compatibility will always, always, always rely above all else on honest communication... reveal yourself to him and next time you post, try to reveal a little more of your genuine impetus here. It's highly respected when you do.
And if this post just doesn't ring any bells with you whatsoever, I sincerely apologize, especially if you read the whole thing! But I got my own impression from your initial post, not unlike the ones several others seem to have, and it made me feel for you as one who is still clutching her secret, guilty pleasures - as I used to do when it was somewhat new for me.
Wishin' you well, sista!
-llilah
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