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RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 11:38:16 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

To me, it's not a big deal. I think it's a little silly and contrived, but it doesn't hurt anyone. But then again, you know where I'm from.

I used to wear one (rarely in public). I realised the error of my ways soon enough though ;-p : it didn't go with my Bertie's shoes!

What baffles me is how seriously people take the accessory in question. It is nothing else than an accessory, no matter how much symbolic power is vested within it. I blame online chatrooms :-) .

Awwwww... I'm contrived!

Seriously though, I have a gorgeous neck bracing collar... it's fab to wear out with heels - makes me walk ultra straight and I like that feeling of posture(plus it makes my calves look ultra hot

)
And seriously - I would die for a glitzy sparkley *anything*... and I think some collars can look yum... ya can even get tiny little swarovski bells that ring. I'm a sucker for diamante.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to kittinSol)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 11:40:53 AM

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

Interesting question -

For work - no it would be breaking dress code which is not something I can control but other times then yes... I am proud to be collared and proud when with Him to be seen wearing His collar in a BDSM aware place...

I am also a goth girl so collars etc fit with the general look...

And my collar does have a kitty bell on it, means no sneaking up and pouncing Him when He is sleeping hehehe

(in reply to backroads)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 11:42:23 AM

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Joined: 8/7/2008
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I wear my kitty collar around relatively often in public. I've never been one that much cares what other, random people think of me, so their opinions really don't matter. I'm not hurting anyone, or traumatizing anyone by it, and so I wear it. I've had people ask me why I wear a kitty collar before, and, depending on the person, I usually just laugh and say: "Because it's fun and I want to."

(in reply to VirginPotty)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 11:42:24 AM

Posts: 16926
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You didn't go for the Petco look - it's all cool. We don't all have to wear the same stuff, do we? And it's obvious that not everyone shares the same tastes. Diversity makes life a rich tapestry and blah, blah, blah.

I'm just grateful there isn't a submissive uniform. Imagine the horror

.

_____________________________

(in reply to RCdc)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 11:45:32 AM

Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDonfromPA

I as a master am of mixed feelings on this one as well, I am very pleased to have my slave show off her owners mark, I am not in any way ashamed of My lifestyle choice and choose not to hide it, My vanilla friends Know about my lifestyle and even My boss knows, However I also feel it greatly depends on the venue, On the street, At a fetish fair etc Its fine, But I don't feel its appropriate to take my girl on a leash to the supermarket, as that's a family place, and I do not want to be the one to cause a mother to have to explain to her little ones when they ask "mommy why is that girl on a leash" I am in no way ashamed of my Kink or choices , But I also feel appropriate is Not forcing our lifestyle choices on others either, so I feel discretion is a duty ,on our part, keeping the vanilla world from over exposure to our world as well, not that we should hide it, But its exposing children and others in an inappropriate manner I think is a part of our duty as responsible kinksters

i think about this too. (Bold part mine)

Let me preface by saying i do NOT believe in forcing my kink non-consensually on anyone. So this post isn't intended to be some sort of excusing behavior, it is just my thinking "out loud" so to speak.

i wonder why in our American society we automatically have to ascribe judgement to everything. As in the above example, it is implied that the mother would have to tell her child that the reason "that girl is on a leash" is a sexual one. Why couldn't she just say, "because she likes it, sweetie, and it's fun for her." i think any child would be fine with that answer.

i have a tattoo on my leg of a frog (i'm in the process of having it removed for various reasons). Years ago i was in the grocery store when a toddler ran up to me, pointed to my leg and said "frog, Mommy, frog!" with a big smile on his face. He was so proud and happy that he recognized the frog in the picture on my leg. His mother ran over in horror, grabbed him by the arm, looked at me as if i were a street walking prostitute with my boobs hanging out and then dragged him away. And all i could think about was how the question that would form in that child's mind was not that i had a frog picture on my leg, but why his mother thought it was such a horrible thing to be avoided. All she had to do was say "that's right sweetie, that's a frog" and smile, and lead him away by the hand. But instead her judgment of me for having a tattoo is what he will always remember.

In my world we would all focus on more important things, like getting along and acceptance. But, well, it just isn't going to happen anytime soon.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to MasterDonfromPA)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 11:54:50 AM

Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

FR ~
I don't see why a collar is such the big issue, I really don't. I am noticing a trend though and that is the US Vs Europe (I'd love to see someone from Aus or New Zealand here... where is wanders when ya need her or did I miss her post?). And that is that in places like the UK, it's just normal to see a collar, whether it looks like a torque or its a big ole fat leather one. Jb (I think)mentioned that it really wouldn't be out of place in Ibiza. No one bats an eyelid and it's just another thing someone is wearing. But people from the states seem to have some sort of stigma attatched - whether thats because it's a collar, or the old Walmart attack(and I thought it was the brits who suffered from social stigmas and class snobbery). Is it really THAT big a deal in the states?

the.dark.

Yes, it really is except for maybe part of San Francisco and NYC. This really is a socially conservative country in many ways, and that's largely due to our religious views on sex and sexuality. We are truly still a bunch of Puritans when it comes to anything nasty. The Europeans laugh at us because we are so uptight about our sex.

Do you remember a couple of years ago there was a thread about a guy (in London?) who got kicked off a bus because he was leading his girlfriend around by a leash? You and I became acquainted on that thread. Sure wish I could find it...anyway, I was new to the site and cut my proverbial collarchat teeth there...and here we are again. Some topics are too fun to do just once.

(in reply to RCdc)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 12:05:29 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: brainiacsub
Do you remember a couple of years ago there was a thread about a guy (in London?) who got kicked off a bus because he was leading his girlfriend around by a leash? You and I became acquainted on that thread. Sure wish I could find it...anyway, I was new to the site and cut my proverbial collarchat teeth there...and here we are again. Some topics are too fun to do just once.

Ha... I remember that. It was all such a riot that. I don't think anyone really knew why there was such a kick up about it, other than the red tops getting a hold of it. Quiet news week et al.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to brainiacsub)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 12:13:02 PM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I used to wear one (rarely in public). I realised the error of my ways soon enough though ;-p : it didn't go with my Bertie's shoes!

.

Kittiboo? Is this so? Did you really wear one ? Sighs... whats next overalls ?

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to kittinSol)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 12:15:01 PM

Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
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I found it! Here it is:

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1557885

These were the good old days. Even that thread deteriorated in to some rampant debate on discrimination against kinksters or some shit. Met you, AquaticSub, Marie2, SubRob, Domi and a few others. I miss the old days....

(in reply to RCdc)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 12:18:52 PM

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: divi

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I used to wear one (rarely in public). I realised the error of my ways soon enough though ;-p : it didn't go with my Bertie's shoes!

Kittiboo? Is this so? Did you really wear one ? Sighs... whats next overalls ?

I know, and I'm ashamed, but the novelty soon wore off.

_____________________________

(in reply to divi)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 12:30:28 PM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

~ whew ~
Please tell me you don't own spandex pants ?

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to kittinSol)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 12:36:32 PM

Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline

Yes, the US does tend to be very judgmental and puritan as a whole. There are definitely areas of greater acceptance and open-mindedness, but many here are still very bound by strict senses of 'morality' against sex and alternate schools of thought. Which drives me nuts, because there doesn't seem to be much problem with violence. Don't get me started on my soap box about how wrong it is that you can openly play games or watch movies with gratutitous torture and graphic violence, but one nipple anywhere causes a HUGE stir!

For someone trying to 'be respectful' and also live their life in their chosen alternate way, it can be a hell of a balancing act sometimes. I'm in the New England area, which is a little more accepting than some other areas, but I've still gotten weird looks and snickering comments all my life for my clothing and lifestyle choices whenever I didn't actively hide them behind closed doors. I don't want to force my choices on other people, so I try to avoid being extremely open and 'in-your-face' (for example, Master does not leash me unless we are going out to a club or some sort of fetish gathering). I try to see the other side of the coin when it comes to things like that. About how it's essentially equal to me personally being offended and annoyed by HIGHLY religious people with large, garish T-shirts or bumper stickers on their cars proclaiming how Jesus saved them and blah blah blah. They're entitled to do it, it's their right to express themselves, but being so in-your-face about it annoys people who strongly disagree.

But to wear my collar in public? It's noticeable, it speaks to my personal taste and choices, but it's not so completely out there that anyone should take a major problem with it. I'm open about my preferences, but other people can easily ignore it if they choose to do so. It's akin to those religious people wearing a cross necklace. We're expressing ourselves without being confrontational about it. It's a balancing act of being true to yourself without stomping all over other people and making our own world impossible to ignore.

For the record, I have no problem with people enjoying their religion. I'm just very tired of having Catholicism and various forms of Christianity forced down my throat by strangers hoping to 'save my soul' over the years. Live and let live. I think as long as you're not hurting anyone (in a bad way, go sadism, hehe) and whatever you're doing makes you happy and at peace in your own mind? Go for it. But you don't have to shove it on other people, either. Tolerance and respect go both ways.

(in reply to brainiacsub)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 12:39:42 PM

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RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 1:07:34 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: brainiacsub

I found it! Here it is:

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1557885

These were the good old days. Even that thread deteriorated in to some rampant debate on discrimination against kinksters or some shit. Met you, AquaticSub, Marie2, SubRob, Domi and a few others. I miss the old days....

Geeze...I just had a look back! How funny! I forgot just how long that thread was (even if I cannot forget the image of Masters schlong in spandex

)

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to brainiacsub)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 1:26:13 PM

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Joined: 3/22/2010
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I don't get why wearing a leash out in public is 'forcing your kink on people', any more than wearing stockings out is. We aren't breaking any indecency laws, and kids wouldn't understand it anymore than they would understand why some goths wear dog collars in their fashions. I would see why if you were walking around town wearing nothing but a collar, but then the nudity would be the issue, not the collar/leash. People are going to judge regardless, if no laws are being broken, there is no issue. People shouldn't expect the world to babysit their children either. Just saying.

(in reply to VirginPotty)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 1:32:52 PM

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

Honestly, it's up to my Owner what he wants. i trust his judgment, and i trust him. i will say though that currently all of the potential Owners i speak with have public personas that they don't want interfered with by their private lives, so really any future public collar i'll have will be more jewelry-ish. And i also respect an Owner that doesn't believe in forcing our kink onto others without their consent.

And how is wearing a collar in public forcing your kink onto the general public? That's like a married couple flaunting their status to to all single people because they wear a wedding ring.

eta...obviously according to some people regarding this subject, it's a clear case of yes you are kinky but it's best not to talk and be open about. Please don't let the neighbours know because that may reflect badly on what they may think of us. Gotta love the subtle double standards here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

and precisely why slavery is such a good fit for this slave ~ she isn't concerned about how the "public" or other family members perceive something as innane as the choice of clothing or accessories she wears.

Thank you beth for stating this so eloquently, my kudos to you.

< Message edited by Wolf2Bear -- 4/15/2010 1:39:10 PM >

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to UniqueRaven)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 1:33:07 PM

Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
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Lol My teen age daughter wears a spiked collar she bought from petco. She isn't in the lifestyle but she abosolutely loves it and its accepted. I have a goofed around and worn our dogs collar that says, "sassy" several times in public. I personal don't care what the general population thinks, my self image and self worth isn't determined by strangers.

_____________________________

Blessed be,
Nika

(in reply to backroads)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 1:34:48 PM

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

To me, it's not a big deal. I think it's a little silly and contrived, but it doesn't hurt anyone. But then again, you know where I'm from.

I used to wear one (rarely in public). I realised the error of my ways soon enough though ;-p : it didn't go with my Bertie's shoes!

What baffles me is how seriously people take the accessory in question. It is nothing else than an accessory, no matter how much symbolic power is vested within it. I blame online chatrooms :-) .

Awwwww... I'm contrived!
Seriously though, I have a gorgeous neck bracing collar... it's fab to wear out with heels - makes me walk ultra straight and I like that feeling of posture(plus it makes my calves look ultra hot)
And seriously - I would die for a glitzy sparkley *anything*... and I think some collars can look yum... ya can even get tiny little swarovski bells that ring. I'm a sucker for diamante.
the.dark.

I am completely shocked .dark. here all this time I figured you to be drooling over the diamonds and sapphires? I must thank you for totally shattering my delusions about you *runs in corner sobbing*

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to RCdc)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 1:39:04 PM

Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline

I actually agree with you there, Cabbit. But unfortunately I have found in my experience that there are some things that will just be judged more harshly than other things. Usually, the clearer the purpose of something is to someone who will judge, the more of an issue they take with it. Even if to children and such, the purpose isn't clear at all. A collar can be written off as off-beat fashion choice. A leash usually has clearer 'intent' behind it, if you understand what I'm trying to say.

Generally, I try to only express myself to the point where it won't inconvenience me terribly to endure others' judgment. Wearing a collar gets me weird looks or an occasional 'why do you wear that?' question. Being leashed in a vanilla environment could get us asked to leave places, or confronted by judgmental people who want to complain and rant about how we're poisoning their kids. I don't want to deal with that, so I adhere to moderation.

In my ideal world, people could do anything they wanted within the law and not be bothered by what others do. I'd be leashed by Master all the time, and everyone else would express their philosphical, religious, or lifestyle choices in any way they wanted without everyone else raising hell about it. Until such a world exists, I'll continue to try and balance. :) Or maybe move to Europe!

< Message edited by HisEvelyn -- 4/15/2010 1:40:11 PM >

(in reply to CollaredCabbit)

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 1:49:14 PM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CollaredCabbit

I don't get why wearing a leash out in public is 'forcing your kink on people', any more than wearing stockings out is. We aren't breaking any indecency laws, and kids wouldn't understand it anymore than they would understand why some goths wear dog collars in their fashions. I would see why if you were walking around town wearing nothing but a collar, but then the nudity would be the issue, not the collar/leash. People are going to judge regardless, if no laws are being broken, there is no issue. People shouldn't expect the world to babysit their children either. Just saying.

I think your collar is on too tight

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to CollaredCabbit)

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