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RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 1:51:48 PM   
CollaredCabbit


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/22/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisEvelyn

I actually agree with you there, Cabbit. But unfortunately I have found in my experience that there are some things that will just be judged more harshly than other things. Usually, the clearer the purpose of something is to someone who will judge, the more of an issue they take with it. Even if to children and such, the purpose isn't clear at all. A collar can be written off as off-beat fashion choice. A leash usually has clearer 'intent' behind it, if you understand what I'm trying to say.

Generally, I try to only express myself to the point where it won't inconvenience me terribly to endure others' judgment. Wearing a collar gets me weird looks or an occasional 'why do you wear that?' question. Being leashed in a vanilla environment could get us asked to leave places, or confronted by judgmental people who want to complain and rant about how we're poisoning their kids. I don't want to deal with that, so I adhere to moderation.

In my ideal world, people could do anything they wanted within the law and not be bothered by what others do. I'd be leashed by Master all the time, and everyone else would express their philosphical, religious, or lifestyle choices in any way they wanted without everyone else raising hell about it. Until such a world exists, I'll continue to try and balance. :) Or maybe move to Europe!


As a personal choice it's understandable, I was worried to wear my more obvious collar out in public when I first got it for the same reason. But then I thought back to when a very conservative lady told me my skull belt buckle was offensive and how skulls aren't 'fashionable' because they portray death.. or something along those lines. I live in a small town with a church every 300 feet, so regardless of what I choose to wear I'm bound to offend someone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: divi

I think your collar is on too tight


And your panties are far too twisted. ;P

< Message edited by CollaredCabbit -- 4/15/2010 1:56:27 PM >

(in reply to HisEvelyn)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:10:05 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear
I am completely shocked .dark. here all this time I figured you to be drooling over the diamonds and sapphires? I must thank you for totally shattering my delusions about you  *runs in corner sobbing*



Now no sobbing BearhuggableOne.  I'm not hot on sapphires, but diamonds and rubies?  Hubbahubba...
It's just that rhinestones and swarovski crystals are just soooo purdy and glitzy (and less money to replace when stoopidslave - ie me - drops and looses diamonds like they ARE from walmart).  I am just blessed that Master is forgiving... and likes his girl to sparkle!

the.dark.
(.whoisgonnatakebearhuggbleoneshoppingifheevergetsoverhere.)

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:20:45 PM   
brainiacsub


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		FR to Wolf and Cabbitt:

Cultural norms are important and necessary. Any civilized society can dictate what, as a group, the majority feels is acceptable. All societies do this. If you went to France or China, you would have to live by their rules and customs. This is not an issue of freedom, this is an issue of violating established rules that society has deemed acceptable. Wearing a collar and leash in public represents subjugation of women in the eyes of many. It is not the same thing as wearing a wedding ring. Wolf, I can't believe you said that.

I am not making a moral statement of its rightness or wrongness. I personally don't care that much about this issue. But if you want to wear your fetish gear in public and not be arrested or ridiculed, then become an activist and educate the public as to the importance of the symbolism of the leash and collar. Changing cultural norms is a slow process of changing hearts and minds. You can't butt fuck the public and expect to not get some shit on you.

(in reply to CollaredCabbit)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:30:19 PM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		laughs.. well said brainiac..

Would like to see the advertising for that cause

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Profile   Post #: 84
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:34:52 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		But what is MORE important.  Cultural norms or legalities?  OK, so I am talking UK here.
It's totally legal to wear a collar in public.
It's illegal to wear a beard in public.
It's legal to herd geese through London.
It's illegal for a female to eat chocolate on public transport.

the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to brainiacsub)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:36:48 PM   
brainiacsub


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: divi

laughs.. well said brainiac..

Would like to see the advertising for that cause

I am making tee shirts.

(in reply to divi)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:38:12 PM   
CollaredCabbit


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/22/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: brainiacsub

FR to Wolf and Cabbitt:

Cultural norms are important and necessary. Any civilized society can dictate what, as a group, the majority feels is acceptable. All societies do this. If you went to France or China, you would have to live by their rules and customs. This is not an issue of freedom, this is an issue of violating established rules that society has deemed acceptable. Wearing a collar and leash in public represents subjugation of women in the eyes of many. It is not the same thing as wearing a wedding ring. Wolf, I can't believe you said that.

I am not making a moral statement of its rightness or wrongness. I personally don't care that much about this issue. But if you want to wear your fetish gear in public and not be arrested or ridiculed, then become an activist and educate the public as to the importance of the symbolism of the leash and collar. Changing cultural norms is a slow process of changing hearts and minds. You can't butt fuck the public and expect to not get some shit on you.


From a cultural standpoint a collar may not mean the same as a wedding ring, no. But from a personal standpoint it can very much so mean the same thing. It's taking a piece of jewelry and having it mean something to you. Otherwise a ring is just a ring, and is merely a choice of fashion. To many, a collar is their wedding ring. It's the symbol of their relationship and bond. It may not be socially accepted as such, but regardless, a ring is just a ring, and a collar is just a collar- until you put a meaning to it.

And I don't see any rules, in my area at least, stating you cannot walk your partner or friend around on a leash. Where I'm from freedom of expression goes hand in hand with freedom of speech. And as long as you're not walking around stark naked with a dildo hanging out of your arse, I don't see it as forcing your kink on anyone.

(in reply to brainiacsub)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:38:17 PM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		I want one.. and make bracelets instead of live strong .. do something catchy like spank me or some shit like that

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Profile   Post #: 88
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:40:41 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline 		I have a cute black one with rhinestones that I got at Hot Topic.  I don't have a problem with wearing it in public.

_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to divi)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:41:19 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CollaredCabbit

I don't get why wearing a leash out in public is 'forcing your kink on people', any more than wearing stockings out is. We aren't breaking any indecency laws, and kids wouldn't understand it anymore than they would understand why some goths wear dog collars in their fashions. I would see why if you were walking around town wearing nothing but a collar, but then the nudity would be the issue, not the collar/leash. People are going to judge regardless, if no laws are being broken, there is no issue. People shouldn't expect the world to babysit their children either. Just saying.


You're 19. Anything you wear could come from Hot Topic and be worn by goth girls. Nobody notices weird fashions worn on teens.

But at 55? Big difference, Very noticeable and will attract undesirable attention.

And honestly, I'm past the stage of wanting to shock people just cause. I'd rather they pay attention to what I say instead of what I wear. And you only get to pick one.

Of course, at 19 YMMV.


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Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 90
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:42:36 PM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

You're 19. Anything you wear could come from Hot Topic and be worn by goth girls. Nobody notices weird fashions worn on teens.

But at 55? Big difference, Very noticeable and will attract undesirable attention.

And honestly, I'm past the stage of wanting to shock people just cause. I'd rather they pay attention to what I say instead of what I wear. And you only get to pick one.

Of course, at 19 YMMV.

[/quote]
wow you read my mind ...

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

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Profile   Post #: 91
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:43:51 PM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

I have a cute black one with rhinestones that I got at Hot Topic.  I don't have a problem with wearing it in public.

DS I'm sure you look like a hottie in it.

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to DarlingSavage)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:43:59 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: brainiacsub

FR to Wolf and Cabbitt:

Cultural norms are important and necessary. Any civilized society can dictate what, as a group, the majority feels is acceptable. All societies do this. If you went to France or China, you would have to live by their rules and customs. This is not an issue of freedom, this is an issue of violating established rules that society has deemed acceptable. Wearing a collar and leash in public represents subjugation of women in the eyes of many. It is not the same thing as wearing a wedding ring. Wolf, I can't believe you said that.

I am not making a moral statement of its rightness or wrongness. I personally don't care that much about this issue. But if you want to wear your fetish gear in public and not be arrested or ridiculed, then become an activist and educate the public as to the importance of the symbolism of the leash and collar. Changing cultural norms is a slow process of changing hearts and minds. You can't butt fuck the public and expect to not get some shit on you.


And now for something completely different.  I don't want to run out and wear a bunch of fetish wear to someplace where it wouldn't be considered acceptable.  That's just bizarre.  I thought this was about jewelry.

_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to brainiacsub)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:46:31 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: divi


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

I have a cute black one with rhinestones that I got at Hot Topic.  I don't have a problem with wearing it in public.

DS I'm sure you look like a hottie in it.


Aw, you're so sweet!  Thank you for noticing!  I bet it would look hot on you, too!  I don't mind sharing.

_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to divi)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:47:50 PM   
brainiacsub


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

But what is MORE important.  Cultural norms or legalities?  OK, so I am talking UK here.
It's totally legal to wear a collar in public.
It's illegal to wear a beard in public.
It's legal to herd geese through London.
It's illegal for a female to eat chocolate on public transport.

the.dark.

I agree that distinctions should be made between what is legal and what is just in bad taste. Every person reading these forums I bet could think of at least one thing that is not illegal but would be considered distasteful or tacky. Darcy's spandex days would qualify.

I don't think legality is the issue here. Common sense is.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:48:13 PM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

quote:

ORIGINAL: divi


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

I have a cute black one with rhinestones that I got at Hot Topic.  I don't have a problem with wearing it in public.

DS I'm sure you look like a hottie in it.


Aw, you're so sweet!  Thank you for noticing!  I bet it would look hot on you, too!  I don't mind sharing.

ty sweet cheeks!

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to DarlingSavage)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:49:13 PM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: divi

I think your collar is on too tight


And your panties are far too twisted. ;P

kinda of like your silly ideas

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to CollaredCabbit)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:54:30 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: brainiacsub
I agree that distinctions should be made between what is legal and what is just in bad taste. Every person reading these forums I bet could think of at least one thing that is not illegal but would be considered distasteful or tacky. Darcy's spandex days would qualify.



This is RC
 
Who holds my hands up to tacky spandex. It seemed such a good idea at the time, but then, I was a wannabeteenagerockstar.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to brainiacsub)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:55:16 PM   
CollaredCabbit


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/22/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: CollaredCabbit

I don't get why wearing a leash out in public is 'forcing your kink on people', any more than wearing stockings out is. We aren't breaking any indecency laws, and kids wouldn't understand it anymore than they would understand why some goths wear dog collars in their fashions. I would see why if you were walking around town wearing nothing but a collar, but then the nudity would be the issue, not the collar/leash. People are going to judge regardless, if no laws are being broken, there is no issue. People shouldn't expect the world to babysit their children either. Just saying.


You're 19. Anything you wear could come from Hot Topic and be worn by goth girls. Nobody notices weird fashions worn on teens.

But at 55? Big difference, Very noticeable and will attract undesirable attention.

And honestly, I'm past the stage of wanting to shock people just cause. I'd rather they pay attention to what I say instead of what I wear. And you only get to pick one.

Of course, at 19 YMMV.



I'm questioning how it's considered forcing your kink on people, not whether or not you feel like being led around in public.
I agree that seeing a 55 year old being led, would gather a lot more attention than some kids, but regardless, I don't think
it's forcing your kink on anyone as much as wearing a short skirt is or stockings. Maybe you care more about what people
think, but some people wouldn't exactly want to know anyone who cared about such trivial things. If someone were to judge
me on my choice of fashion I'd not want to know them, and I'm sure they wouldn't want to know me. So I see no point in
changing who I am and what I personally want to wear just because a few stiffs feel the need to care.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 2:55:35 PM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		I've noticed as of late a few people trying to bring back spandex... shame on them

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 100
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