TigerNINTails
Posts: 178
Joined: 5/16/2005
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ORIGINAL: Evanesce
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I call myself a switch because it's easier than actually explaining all my relationship dynamics.
Ditto that, because as soon as you start trying to explain to someone who doesn't want to accept it that you're a dominant slave with masochistic leanings who hasn't got a submissive bone in her body, it invariably ends up the same way - with the declaration that you're a clueless wannabe. It's simply not worth going to all that trouble.
May as well ditto that again. You just described me to a T as a bottom. Just 'cause I'm bein DarkOne's slut, makes me no less a Tiger.
And like RumTiger's sigfile states; "Tiger ain't just a name." To add to it, it's my one state of being.
That state of being is very much flow from one point to the next as well. I experience no "tug of war" in my mind, or my heart when it comes to what it is that I "do" as a switch, because it's a natural state of my "being."
To the OP:
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Original: Dustyn
Are you a switch because it is what someone else described you as being and since you fit the generally accepted definition, you label yourself as a switch?
Or are you a switch because you haven't the drive/desire/[fill in the blank] to be either submissive or dominant?
I am not a switch because that is what someone else labeled me. It's a term I read at one point, well before I ever even came onto "the scene" for lack of a better term... Excuse that, there is a better term. Community.
Before I came into the public community, I had read somewhere, well after I already knew of my kinks, that there are three types. Dominant, submissive, switch.
When I read the rather full and descriptive definition of switch, I instantly identified, and therefore adopted the monicker, which for me, in the circle of friends that I'm a part of in the community, really carries with it no "stigma" of any sort.
I was actually surprised at the odd number of those that misunderstand it here. It's either that it [this stigma] doesn't exist in my neck of the woods, or I just wasn't seeing it for some reason, or people weren't talking about it to be respectful. Not sure, take your pick and you're probably 1/3 correct.
I can switch back and forth, without too much energy drain, though there are times, I'd just prefer to be one rather than the other. But that's me moving with my own internal energy flow more than what is dictated outside of myself.
My desires to move from one to the other are largely influenced by the relationship I have with someone. I can, within one relationship, move from Dominant to bottom and back again. I don't usually. But it's not a lack of desire to be one more than the other. It's a lack of desire to cut pieces out of my life that are essential to who I am.
I am most definitely a Dominant personality, without so much as a submissive bone in my body, that identifies as a "Switch" because I can do precisely that. Flow from one aspect of my personality to the next, based purely on the energy flow that I'm reading.
I identify as a switch, as there's no better way to describe how I am in M/s, BDSM and D/s. There are those around whom I "act" submissive, and sometimes, with the correct person, actually do submit, and those around whom I'm unquestionably dominant.
I don't identify as a switch for any other purpose, other than it's a good descriptor of my whole being, mind body and soul.
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Original: artglfr
There is ONE and perhaps others "i" haven't met yet that i absolutely relate to as HER submissive. When we get together She absolutely owns me 24/7 collared, chained to the bed. She does things to me i absolutely love and adore and yes NEED.
After seeing Her I again Dominate and appreciate the submissives and show them all I have learned as "i".
There is no inner struggle. there is peace and happiness I am fulfilled.
Absolutely. See statement about DarkOne above. If I was to take a collar, Hers would be it. Due to my nature, being primarily dominant in my life, and with others, I have to decline it however. She is a switch though, so perhaps someday we'll come to an arrangement.
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Original: Dustyn
It is better to live one complete life than to incomplete ones. Neither side will be fully and completely embraced, simply because the brain, for whatever motivations lie in it, will not allow either full submission or full dominance with another person.
I also don't get where you're getting that because we fill both dominant and submissive shoes at different times that we wouldn't be living a full and complete life.
From my perspective, and this is all perspective mind you, I feel as if living experiences as both a bottom and a Top are both equally weighted for fulfilling and expanding on my experiences in life. If I had to go through life without ever feeling the kiss of the whip because I was just Dominant, or go through life without being the causal factor of a set of very red inner thighs of a girl, or experiencing being the one causing the tears streaming down her face from choking on...
You get the point. I would be missing so much out of my life. Why should I do that? Why WOULD I do that? I can't see at all, that I cannot be both, and still live ONE complete and utterly fulfilled life. Personally, I can't see how "pure" Dom's and submissives can really have a fully balanced perspective on life in general, because they don't switch.
I know I'm perfectly happy being Dominant. I also know that I'm perfectly happy being bottom. I also know that my mind will not sit still in one or the other for a very long period of time without flowing out of that state of being.
Does this mean that I can't be fully Dominant with my slaveslut? Absoutely not. ROFL! To me that's a ridiculous statement.
Does this also mean that I can't be a complete and utter slave, the needy and naughty fucktoy known as tiger`slut to my DarkOne? Absolutely not, again. Of course I can. Not submissively, perhaps, but as a bottom... An owned toy... yes... absolutely.
I will live a fully fulfilled life as a switch, and know that I've tasted the pleasures and pains of both sides of the fence, and came out of it more happy than if I had simply sat on one side, ignorant of being the other.
I also, while a relationship of a more meaningful nature might form, I don't need one to be there initially to bottom or to Top. We tend... Well, at least *I* tend to form relationships on the fly. I'll meet someone, we find each others interests, then begin to find each others sweet spot, and what comes out of it, comes out of it.
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Original: SimplyV
I am what and who I am. People either bow to me, or I bow to them (or they go on their merry little way). You seem to be having trouble accepting what a switch is, and trying to put us in a box. You might as well stop. We aren't box-able.
LMAO! You preach it sister! Oh.  Excellent response.
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Original: Aine
People just seem to always assume that I'm just confused, or picky, which I'm sure most of you have gotten as well.
I'm not picky, or confused... Me? I'm just greedy.
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Original: Shira
If switches can be labelled "confused", then people who refuse to switch can be labelled "afraid". I believe every human being has both a dominant and a submissive side, and those who chain themselves into a single role are afraid of their full potential.
I also question whether a dominant should take the life of another person into their hands if they have not experienced the reality of submission.
GMTA. I have never said it better myself. Perhaps equally impactful. But not better.
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Original: aischai
I was also wondering, do people here go through phases of sometimes being more of a top or sometimes being more of a bottom?
Well, for me, as I've stated above, I'm predominantly dominant with most people in my life, even with other dominants, so that sometimes causes a butting of heads. generally speaking though, we come to compromise somewhere. Like two powerful warring countries calling a cease fire.
So when you ask that question, I'm taking you mean in a specific situation with a specific individual? Because if that is the question, I'd say absolutely. I can't speak for everyone, but there are people (more than one, but not many... Less than one hand) that I can say that I'm more inclined to be bottom towards...
Most people and most of the time I'm more inclined to be Top. I relate with being able to read the energy of a scene better due to the duality of my nature also. That's a given advantage, I believe. We have more empathy towards the opposing force (energetically speaking). So we both read Tops better, and read bottoms better.
But yes, I go through phases (with certain people, and at certain undefined times) when I'm more inclined to be bottom-ish than Top-ish. I refuse to let that affect my relations with my slave though. I own her. It will never be the other way around.
But with others, it will be, and I can see it "sticking" with certain people and in certain situations. The rest of the time, I'm just me, and I flow with the current.
Peace.
Tora.
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Consistent Discipline Renders Punishment Unnecessary
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