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RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 6:10:01 PM

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Abuse is a Abuse.. I do not and never will consider it acceptable to consider Abuse as a part of the lifestyle. When one learns to seperate Abuse from the Healthy dynamics that the lifestyle represent, well one is far better off. Understanding the difference of an Abusive Lifestyle and a Healthy BDSM and/or D/s lifestyle are distinctly different. No question that many are exposed to activities that can be mirrored in both situations.... but when one is whipped in an abusive situation it distinctly different than someone that is whipped in the BDSM context.

Lifestyle activities are not about Abuse! When someone becomes Self-Aware of the healthy dynamics that can and do enjoy from certain activites within the lifestyle they will NOT easily allow themself to slip into the abusive mindset. They will stop being a victim! They will stop jumping from abusive situation to abusive situation. Abusive doesn't lead you to the heatlhy lifestyle... IT Stops your from enjoying it!

I have been fortunate to meet many people that live healthy BDSM lifestyles, many have come from abusive environments, some over the course of years of abuse. A common thread amoung them all after experiencing heathly lifestyle relationships is that "THEIR" mindset changed! They stopped
being a victim for abuse and the path it gave them and began choosing a path that empowered them!

this course is only from a person of a tiny little mind

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to kiska)

RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 6:10:22 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

Ok you are right KOM, I do not know the world you live in, just as you dont know her world, I am glad you called me on this, I really try not to make assumptions, its just that you just were working my last nerve a bit....but....I respectfully apologize to you

My hani daughter (hani is a Hawaiian word that means family addopted) is cherokee, she is one hell of a fighter...Is your girl feisty?

MLskijara is a really special girl, and you seemed a little cranky, thats all I was reacting to. Maybe get to know her a little before passing judgement?

thank You again.

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RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 6:15:39 PM

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both my girls are very fisty.. In the proper context!!!

I play a very primal type of play... my girls have done all the following to me

Pulled hair, punched me, kicked me, scratch em, knee me in the groin, yelled at me, bit me oohh the list goes on..

of course... I um do alot worse to them... Equal force plus one to bring submission from them in the context of play.

My girls have one rule... they have none.. they are free of all contraints except what I force upon them in the context of play.... outside of play.. they have many constraints of behavior they MUST adhere too... they only have freedom in the play.

as far as MLs.. I do not judge her...for there are no facts to judge! (and no a statement from someone is not a fact) Facts can be independently verfied. but, I am skeptically of much of what goes on in the Online venue since frankly it damn near impossible to independently verify anything here... and often grow more skeptically as I view things that are inconsistent not just in a specific thread but across many posts and threads. You may consider her special for what ever reason.. so be it.... you and everyone is entitled to their opinion, what you base your opinion on is for you to decide... Far as I am concerned we are just fonts on a screen... I really don't care what your experiences are or who you state you are... but I will listen to the intellectual thougths that come from a person. How they answer questions as well as what they ask... how they communicate in this venue.. I look to the depth of there opinions... are they just speaking to be heard... does there thoughts come from reason of depth. Do they just make wild assumptions or universal claims that are frankly silly... There is many here on the boards that I enjoy reading... many of them I don't agree with and some I do. But, I tend to learn things from these individuals. I am not too interest in someone that wants to claim who they are or what they are about... but I love to listen/read when some speaks to an issue or thought or idea.

What is being "IN" the lifestyle is frankly important to understand where a person comes from. MLs states she has alot of experineces... many that just cause me to raise an eye brow... but if I going to understand anything about her... or what she wants to state... know what she thinks is "BEING IN" the lifestyle is important. Doing lifestyle things is one thing... But is the doing...BEING In it? or is is more than that... It is to me! But for some it just that!

Emotions do not travel well in the online medium... often we are conveying our own emotions in reading things as much if not more than what is actually conveyed in the writing. I have used the online medium for enough years not to read to many emotions into things... and always suggest the same to others when they first start to use the online... some do it others never do. Believe me when I tell you... if I wish to convey emotions in my words.. their will be NO doubt of what they are.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 4/17/2006 6:33:36 PM >

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 6:20:05 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

I am glad that you live in a sanitized world where anything depraved and abhorrent must not be real KOM, I wish we could all live there.

so you claim to know what kind of world I live in... or what my life experiences I have had or not had. You clearly are much more KNOWING than I am! I couldn't claim to KNOW what another world is like... but I can be a skeptic to much in the online environment... I guess you could say that life experiences have given me that lesson.

Ohh Sir *eg since she knows more about Your world, can I aske her what color the sky is *g* in it. I'm thinking with her imagination we might get something that is purple with blue polka dots *s*

denika

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 6:21:52 PM

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that is what KoM has been giving this girl, and she just LOVES the colors!

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RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 6:24:32 PM

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From: Delray Beach, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

both my girls are very fisty.. In the proper context!!!

That is feisty, isn't it.... or are you buying lube by the gallon?

[evil chuckle]

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RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 6:25:14 PM

Vancouver_cinful

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiska

I know this is going to be shocking to some of you but it is possible to discuss things without being personal or cruel about it. Shocking but true ... And I dont even have to use tape on people's mouths.

I will assume you are not addressing this to me. I don't believe any of my comments were cruel. I'm asking for more imformation and facts, which is what one does when engaging in conversation.

At any rate, as was said before, it doesn't matter to me whether any of this is true, and it shouldn't matter to anyone whether I believe it or not. If the story is true, than it's something I am ignorant of, and there is no shame in being ignorant. The shame is in not seeking knowledge when one is ignorant. So, I'm seeking more knowledge.

I've asked to be granted the same information as CrouchingTigress recieved. If my request is granted, I will have more information to base my belief on, and who knows, perhaps change that belief entirely.

It's been known to happen.

Cin

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quote:

My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to kiska)

RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 6:25:29 PM

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if crouchingtigress has no idea what is what in KoM's world, how does he know what is what in this girl's? KoM has never met this girl, he (she? people DO lie on here) has only responded to a comment this one made about being in the life for 33 years. and because he can add, he thinks he knows and can dictate who experiences what and when.

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RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 6:35:52 PM

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Pardon my intrusion, but reading this thread i add or reflect upon the original question asked by
MLskajira in regard to the a Master taking the virgin and His thoughts on this (a blan summary but in essence your question).

I think this is a very personal experience for the Ms, and i am speculating here but i think you are going to get alot mixed reviews dependant upon what the Master's pleasure is. you probably would have been better off asking other submissives/slaves of the experience to gauge your experince with your own (being at and/or near the same hierarchy and/or relationship dynamic as them) and if you know your Master is pleased than really that is all that should be of importance to you.

Not responding directly to questions asked in response to particulars mentioned opened the door for all the additional frolic that is following your initial post, and perhaps you should expect no less questions of validation, given the personal nature of your own questions.

Perhaps this won't blow too well with the winds considering i just joined the board today. But, honestly i just could not understand the rational behind the chuckles starting to be seen in response to what i see as legitimate question gone unanswered or circled around. Please don't be offended anyone - Just observation on my part.

(in reply to MLskajira)

RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 6:36:13 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

That is feisty, isn't it.... or are you buying lube by the gallon?

[evil chuckle]

oh you would catch that typo... mmmmmmm november I will be down in your neck of the woods so I will bring my gallon of lube..... YES I have a gallon of it *G* well... the container is alittle less full than when I bought it *W*

editted to add..

mmmmm kyra just reminded me that she might be in Phoenix by then... so maybe not .. but if I am in the area... would like to spend some more time chatting if your time allows.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 4/17/2006 6:44:52 PM >

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 6:42:07 PM

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: denika

Ohh Sir *eg since she knows more about Your world, can I aske her what color the sky is *g* in it. I'm thinking with her imagination we might get something that is purple with blue polka dots *s*

denika

no sky denika ... I will be getting your backside those colors *G*...of course I think you will like that. maybe sprinkle of bright red for good measure.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to denika)

RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 6:50:59 PM

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Joined: 8/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: denika

Ohh Sir *eg since she knows more about Your world, can I aske her what color the sky is *g* in it. I'm thinking with her imagination we might get something that is purple with blue polka dots *s*

denika

no sky denika ... I will be getting your backside those colors *G*...of course I think you will like that. maybe sprinkle of bright red for good measure.

Sir
You spoil me *s*

denika

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 8:28:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: quietWonder

Pardon my intrusion, but reading this thread i add or reflect upon the original question asked by
MLskajira in regard to the a Master taking the virgin and His thoughts on this (a blan summary but in essence your question).

I think this is a very personal experience for the Ms, and i am speculating here but i think you are going to get alot mixed reviews dependant upon what the Master's pleasure is. you probably would have been better off asking other submissives/slaves of the experience to gauge your experince with your own (being at and/or near the same hierarchy and/or relationship dynamic as them) and if you know your Master is pleased than really that is all that should be of importance to you.

Not responding directly to questions asked in response to particulars mentioned opened the door for all the additional frolic that is following your initial post, and perhaps you should expect no less questions of validation, given the personal nature of your own questions.

Perhaps this won't blow too well with the winds considering i just joined the board today. But, honestly i just could not understand the rational behind the chuckles starting to be seen in response to what i see as legitimate question gone unanswered or circled around. Please don't be offended anyone - Just observation on my part.

this girl doesnt mind all the additional activity, she embraces it.
this girl didnt want another slaves point of view on the subject, she wanted a Master's, that is why she posted it here.
and she has had a few that answered her original question. (thanks to each and everyone of Y/you that did)

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RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 8:59:47 PM

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for those of Y/you that are interested in learning something new, try this site about albinoisim.
http://www.albinism.org/publications/what_is_albinism.html

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RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 10:13:05 PM

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Hmmm maybe i'm wired wrong but i never put much significance into the loss of virginity of any part really. It was something i wanted to do, or agreed to try and it happend. Usually was pretty darn enjoyable too *smiles*

i never thought it should be a life proclaiming instance, or that it meant the person should love me and be devoted to me for ever. But that's just me.

i'm not saying it's not a big thing for some people and if you're the type to get all mushy and girly and put alot of emotional context on an action then so be it.

Perhaps i've just never found anyone that's amazed me that much. *shruggs* i have always done things because i chose to do them. i've submited to only a select few. maybe i'm arrogant, or justplain stubborn

When i saw the post heading saying "bonding issue" i thought if meant you weren't bonding well to your Master. hehe i was a little suprised to tell the truth.

Those that don't know me well see me as unemotional. hmmm maybe i am.

If this act meant a great deal to you then that's great. but on a whole most ppl don't care. Most subs, heck even most females have been anally active for a long time.

Hope your Master felt as much about it as you do though.

i agree some of what you have posted is umm a tad odd, but to each their own.

< Message edited by akisha -- 4/17/2006 10:15:05 PM >

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RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 10:26:41 PM

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You make me smile akisha.

denika

< Message edited by denika -- 4/17/2006 10:27:42 PM >

(in reply to akisha)

RE: a bonding issue - 4/17/2006 10:30:24 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: denika

You make me smile akisha.

denika

"swoons and kisses your feet"

then my life is complete lil angel *giggles*

oh wait, do i have to ask Knights permission first to kiss your feet? or do i have to kiss His by default?

*giggles and skips off*

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to denika)

RE: a bonding issue - 4/18/2006 5:32:55 AM

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Joined: 2/17/2006
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well, this girl guesses she will step back and let KoM and his bevy of women have the forum for now..... when you get done playing in here let this one know and she wi;ll come back to see if anyone has answered her question. enjoy

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RE: a bonding issue - 4/18/2006 7:13:24 AM

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well they hardly are "my bevy of women" but as I said you pettiness is rather sad.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MLskajira)

RE: a bonding issue - 4/18/2006 7:33:48 AM

Vancouver_cinful

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Joined: 2/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MLskajira

well, this girl guesses she will step back and let KoM and his bevy of women have the forum for now..... when you get done playing in here let this one know and she wi;ll come back to see if anyone has answered her question. enjoy

I haven't recieved an email from you in my private email, so I'm assuming you aren't interested in sending me the same information you sent CrouchingTigress.

Thank you for the link on albinoism.

Cin

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quote:

My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to MLskajira)

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