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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/23/2007 6:33:55 AM   
RobertCloud


Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		There is a great market for hides in the Orient, you could always skin yourself..

==========================

I just cannot seem to get motivated lately, all I can think about is sleeping, how can I stay awake?

_____________________________

Author for Black Velvet Seductions
she melted to her knees and crawled to her master.
Toy's Story: Acquisition of a Sex Toy

(in reply to deadbluebird)
Profile   Post #: 3201
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/23/2007 7:00:30 AM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline 		First, take a sharp knife and make a long incision down the front of your body. Take a bungee cord and pop the little hook on the end through the skin above your left breast. Do the same with your right breast with another bungee cord. Attach the other ends of the cords to the railing on a convenient bridge, and hop off.

i've recently acquired a human hide. What is the best way to tan it to make a set of boots for my wife?

...dave

(in reply to deadbluebird)
Profile   Post #: 3202
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/23/2007 7:09:39 AM   
bearincuffs


Posts: 1904
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		edited

< Message edited by bearincuffs -- 1/23/2007 7:10:18 AM >

_____________________________

property of Master Dave of the House of Gemini

An it harm none, do as thou wilt
Do what you will, so long as it harms none
An it harm none, do what thou will
That it harm none, do as thou wilt
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill

(in reply to deadbluebird)
Profile   Post #: 3203
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/23/2007 7:10:22 PM   
RobertCloud


Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		Well the Native Americans chewed the hides to tan them for the best results..

==============

Help... we are back on the topic of cannibalism as petdave has now developed a taste for human skin... what do I do?

_____________________________

Author for Black Velvet Seductions
she melted to her knees and crawled to her master.
Toy's Story: Acquisition of a Sex Toy

(in reply to bearincuffs)
Profile   Post #: 3204
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/23/2007 8:04:15 PM   
QuietlySeeking


Posts: 297
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Skin him and let him eat his own skin until his skin grows back...repeat until he loses his taste for it.

=================================================

I've watched someone being skinned...how do I get the image out of my head?

(in reply to RobertCloud)
Profile   Post #: 3205
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/23/2007 11:03:26 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Look at tentacle porn.

I wish I could show everyone here my icon of Hello Kitty being violated by tentacles. How can I make this happen?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to QuietlySeeking)
Profile   Post #: 3206
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/23/2007 11:15:18 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

 I wish I could show everyone here my icon of Hello Kitty being violated by tentacles. How can I make this happen? 


Hire a skywriter. Just let us know when he will do it so we can all look out our windows.

I have a really bad itch and I cannot seem to get it to go away. How should I deal with this ailment?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3207
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/24/2007 12:00:00 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Take a bottle of rubbing alcohol and splash it on the area
covered by the itch.  Then light a match for a little
self - imposed fireplay.  You should only loose the first
layer of skin or so....
 
 
The damn frat boys across the street are shining their
stupid laser light into my bedroom window.
How can I stop this behavior?
 
-Vendaval-
 


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

I have a really bad itch and I cannot seem to get it to go away. How should I deal with this ailment?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 3208
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/24/2007 12:48:18 AM   
RobertCloud


Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		Use a mirror and shine the lasar back at them, you might only blind one or two of them that way

--------------

Help, while Vendaval was using the mirror she inadvertantly signaled an alien fleet of Hermaphrodite Nyphomaniacs that have now invaded Washington DC. What do we do?

_____________________________

Author for Black Velvet Seductions
she melted to her knees and crawled to her master.
Toy's Story: Acquisition of a Sex Toy

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 3209
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/24/2007 8:10:41 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Help, while Vendaval was using the mirror she inadvertantly signaled an alien fleet of Hermaphrodite Nyphomaniacs that have now invaded Washington DC. What do we do?


Cover yourself in Lime Jello, unsalted potato chips, and a generous sprinkling of Bon-Ami cleanser. This is known to be a Hermaphroditic Nymphomaniac repellent. You must wear it wherever you go because... well... the TRUTH IS OUT THERE.

I still haven't had a cup of coffee yet and my brain is slogging down like a Yugo in need of a tune-up. I want to kick the caffine... is there any way that I can do this?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to RobertCloud)
Profile   Post #: 3210
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/24/2007 8:30:03 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I still haven't had a cup of coffee yet and my brain is slogging down like a Yugo in need of a tune-up. I want to kick the caffine... is there any way that I can do this?


Absolutely. Start smoking instead, to replace the caffeine with nicotine which will keep you alert. Suggest a moderate intake of 20 a day to start with, rising to 60 a day as you go on.

How can I get off cigarettes!?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 3211
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/24/2007 8:33:40 AM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		Might I suggest crack instead? Apparently its a party in a pipe.

How do I remember my dreams better in the morning?

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 3212
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/24/2007 2:11:15 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Set your alarm to wake you every hour, on the hour.
Write down what you were dreaming about.
 
Anyone got a home remedy for laryngitis?


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorelei115
How do I remember my dreams better in the morning?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 3213
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/24/2007 2:34:06 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Anyone got a home remedy for laryngitis?


Yes. When my house got laryngitis once, I made it gargle with warm salt water every hour. I also gave it honey and lemon to soothe it's throat. If you allow your house to rest for several days it should be up and talking again in no time at all.

On the way home today, I swear I was followed by a Viking. Is there any way that I can tell if I am in the midst of some Nordic plot?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 3214
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/24/2007 10:25:18 PM   
RobertCloud


Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		Stand in the middle of the street and yell, "Pillage and Plunder!"
If men with horned helmets, swords and shields come running you are in a Nordic Plot.
If men in white coats with a straight jacket come running then everything is normal.

-------------------------

The say that once every 12,000 years the world's crust slips and rotates on the molten mantle several degrees, and that accounts for the fact that we have maps of the land mass beneath the ice of the Antarctic. The last time this happened ws roughly 12,000 years ago. Last night my compass suddenly shifted and showed north change by 10 degrees, do you think we are about to rotate again, and if so what should I do?

_____________________________

Author for Black Velvet Seductions
she melted to her knees and crawled to her master.
Toy's Story: Acquisition of a Sex Toy

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 3215
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/25/2007 12:40:18 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Kiss your ass goodbye because the world as we know it is about to end.

The sun has just died. We have eight minutes before the world turns to ice, killing everyone. What should we do?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to RobertCloud)
Profile   Post #: 3216
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/25/2007 12:45:13 PM   
DeepWaters


Posts: 118
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline 		pray to god (yes thats a joke)

sissy maid dressed as girl scouts knock on your door asking you if youd like to join them for a satantic sex ritual covered in their unsold cookies...do you go with?

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3217
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/25/2007 12:48:00 PM   
shysubbie


Posts: 21
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline 		The sun has just died. We have eight minutes before the world turns to ice, killing everyone. What should we do?

Get out the frozen pop molds and fill them with juice.

You escaped to another planet, where everyone is cat-shaped, but as big as you. They are highly amused at your hairlessness, since you just did the big shave. Now what?

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3218
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/25/2007 5:20:02 PM   
RobertCloud


Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeepWaters

pray to god (yes thats a joke)

sissy maid dressed as girl scouts knock on your door asking you if youd like to join them for a satantic sex ritual covered in their unsold cookies...do you go with?



Well of course I would not go with them... now... if however you decide to go with them be sure you take lots of milk.

---------------------------------

Help I am surrounded by drug sniffing dogs and police with guns but I have no drugs, all I have is a package of sage what do I do?


_____________________________

Author for Black Velvet Seductions
she melted to her knees and crawled to her master.
Toy's Story: Acquisition of a Sex Toy

(in reply to DeepWaters)
Profile   Post #: 3219
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 1/25/2007 6:44:13 PM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		Make saltimbocca. mmmm...


I think about food at inappropriate times, such as being surrounded by police dogs. What should I do?

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to RobertCloud)
Profile   Post #: 3220
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