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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/2/2007 8:52:27 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Put old popcorn in some sort of a "new" high tech "gadgetry" empty box(laptop,dvd player..etc)...Seal box and place on front seat of car...Park car on street lock doors...It will be gone tomorrow!

My car window was smashed and it has been really cold of late...When I drive I tend to jerk off...but the cold is causing "shrinkage" and I'm finding it extremely difficult to achieve an erection....any ideas?

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/2/2007 8:53:44 AM >

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 3241
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/2/2007 9:03:28 AM   
LDRandAstarte


Posts: 504
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:


My car window was smashed and it has been really cold of late...When I drive I tend to jerk off...but the cold is causing "shrinkage" and I'm finding it extremely difficult to achieve an erection....any ideas?


BenGay - It has a nice warming sensation.


My cum has the consistancy of cottage cheese, is that right?

< Message edited by LDRandAstarte -- 2/2/2007 9:10:20 AM >

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When I die, I want to go like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming in terror like the other three passengers in his car.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 3242
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/4/2007 11:34:27 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My cum has the consistancy of cottage cheese, is that right?


Go to the grocery store and drop your pants in the dairy section and jerk off and ejaculate all over the floor. Then take a container of cottage cheese and dump it on the floor and see if they look similar.

I just bought a new bass guitar. I have found several points on the neck of the guitar that buzz when I play it. I want to fix this myself... any suggestions?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to LDRandAstarte)
Profile   Post #: 3243
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/4/2007 1:00:14 PM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		Stick several bees under the strings. That way, the whole thing will buzz when you play it.

My leg is asleep. It hurts. What do I do?

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 3244
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/4/2007 1:13:31 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorelei115

Make saltimbocca. mmmm...


I think about food at inappropriate times, such as being surrounded by police dogs. What should I do?


Order a copy of the book "101 Ways To Wok Your Dog"

Make use of food sources in your immediate environment.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 3245
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/4/2007 1:14:32 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorelei115

Stick several bees under the strings. That way, the whole thing will buzz when you play it.

My leg is asleep. It hurts. What do I do?


Smash the toes on the other foot with a hammer.

The sleeping leg pain wont hurt any more.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 3246
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/4/2007 1:32:14 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Smash the toes on the other foot with a hammer.

The sleeping leg pain wont hurt any more.

Sinergy


Someone needs to read the rules of the game. How can I prevent people from NOT posing new questions?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3247
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/4/2007 1:46:29 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

Smash the toes on the other foot with a hammer.

The sleeping leg pain wont hurt any more.

Sinergy


Someone needs to read the rules of the game. How can I prevent people from NOT posing new questions?


Get a moderator to move this thread to off topic discussion.

Make an asinine political opinion post.

Watch the posters run screaming from the thread.

Works for me.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 3248
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/4/2007 2:28:42 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Get a moderator to move this thread to off topic discussion.

Make an asinine political opinion post.

Watch the posters run screaming from the thread.

Works for me.

Sinergy


Sinergy has, yet again, broken the chain. I really do not want to be cruel and heartless but is there any way I can drive the point home about after answering a question you must post a new one?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3249
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/4/2007 4:02:33 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

Sinergy has, yet again, broken the chain. I really do not want to be cruel and heartless but is there any way I can drive the point home about after answering a question you must post a new one?


Whilst compassion is a fine quality, and I personally admire Synergy greatly, the only possible consequence for such repeated infractions must be with regret, crucifixion. Line on the left, one cross each.

Where is the best place in this day and age, to obtain nine inch nails quality tested and approved for use in crucifixion?

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 3250
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/4/2007 6:35:09 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

Get a moderator to move this thread to off topic discussion.

Make an asinine political opinion post.

Watch the posters run screaming from the thread.

Works for me.

Sinergy


Sinergy has, yet again, broken the chain. I really do not want to be cruel and heartless but is there any way I can drive the point home about after answering a question you must post a new one?



How can I convince all my Sinergy-O-Matics to follow the appropriate rules for the thread?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 3251
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/5/2007 11:11:36 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Where is the best place in this day and age, to obtain nine inch nails quality tested and approved for use in crucifixion?


Go to your local Crucifixtion Emporium of course.

I am trying to figure out what to make for dinner. Any suggestions?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 3252
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/5/2007 1:14:58 PM   
goodlittlegirl28


Posts: 2108
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline 		dig through the trash and see what the neighbors made for dinner. or better yet, eat what they were kind enough to leave for you to find.

i have two blankets on my bed, but one keeps sliding off onto the floor in the night. how do i prevent this from happening?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 3253
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/5/2007 3:07:02 PM   
Donnalee


Posts: 339
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline 		By sewing elastic to the bottom and running it under the mattress.

I keep getting my boots muddy when I fill the birdfeeders...just enough to be a pain....any ideas?

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Just through all of your ups and downs ... know that I love you dearly.

(in reply to goodlittlegirl28)
Profile   Post #: 3254
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/5/2007 5:11:12 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I keep getting my boots muddy when I fill the birdfeeders...just enough to be a pain....any ideas?


Throw dead rodents on the ground and walk over them... that should keep the mud off of your boots.

I keep having to run to the bathroom because I must have consumed too much water today and it is cutting into my computer time. Any ideas on how I can increase my computer time AND go to the potty too?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Donnalee)
Profile   Post #: 3255
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/5/2007 6:33:02 PM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		I have the perfect hosepipe attachment for you Mr Gauge it’s only $29 and comes with luminous lubricant.

Note: Colours and styles may vary, luminous may also mean non-luminous, no negotiation will be entered into regarding future muscle wastage caused by usage of product stated above.


How can I break the cycle of staying up late because I am not tired and getting up late the next day because I am?

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∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 3256
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/5/2007 7:59:57 PM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		Set all your clocks back three hours. Sure, your time will be off from the rest of the world, but hey, screw 'em.

I have scratches in all my cd's... what do I do?

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 3257
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/5/2007 8:01:51 PM   
quietkitten


Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline 		fill them in with crazy glue....

I don't know what to get my newly out of the closet boss for his birthday.. any ideas?

_____________________________

The number 1 cause of stress is reality.

I miss my old Avatar :(

<< I am a depressed procrastinator with Alzheimers -- I am going to end it all.... tomorrow... or the next day.

Now what was I talking about again?

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 3258
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/5/2007 8:04:20 PM   
MsPoetress


Posts: 1066
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline 		1 cup of Gasoline
3 tbsp of Baking Soda
1/3 cup of Acetone

Throw CD in Blender and stir in gasoline, baking soda and acetone slowly. Then puree for 5 minutes.

BAM! No more scratches. No more CD

I have rust stains on my kitchen counter, how do I remove them?

~poe


_____________________________

~poe

I'm mad, you're mad, we're all mad here, it's the fad for many a year, if you think we're crazy my dear, you're right cause I'M mad, YOU'RE mad, we're ALL mad here! - Mad Hatter

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 3259
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/5/2007 8:43:52 PM   
HarleyKitty69


Posts: 4906
Joined: 10/22/2006
Status: offline 		believe it or not a can of brake cleaner works wonder....
heat up kitchen spray brake cleaner KABOOOMM 
no more rust stains...
works also wonder on oil stains on motorcycle pipes
My automatic transmission on my truck seem to be stuck in first gear, any ideas ??

~greed~
Single, Free and Loving it

(in reply to MsPoetress)
Profile   Post #: 3260
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