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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 4:38:07 PM   
hot1


Posts: 455
Joined: 5/4/2004
From: Ontario Canada
Status: offline 		stay up and play with us all night here....tomorrow call in and say that you quit decided to just stay home and play in the forums

I need to brush my cat's teeth...how do I do that?

beth

_____________________________

come on guys...give the blond a break
Please Don't Confuse The Blond

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3301
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 4:47:31 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hot1

stay up and play with us all night here....tomorrow call in and say that you quit decided to just stay home and play in the forums

I need to brush my cat's teeth...how do I do that?

beth


Purchase a dremel tool at Home Depot.

Dremel a hole in their skull until you see teeth.

Replace the drill with a buffer and clean the teeth.

I want to stay up all night and play in the forums, but if I dont work tomorrow I lose my high speed internet connection for non-payment of the bill.  What should I do?

Sinergy 

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to hot1)
Profile   Post #: 3302
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 4:48:01 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Add soap to you're tiolet bowl. Pick up kitty and pet it reassuringly.  Quickly throw the cat into the toilet and close the lid.  Sit on lid if needed to ensure kitty stays in for the whole cleaning.  Cat will self agitate. Flush repeatedly to thoroughly wash and rinse...ignoring sounds coming from toilet...cat is actually enjoying this.  Have someone open from door, open lid and step away.  Cat will self dry while running out door.  Kitty should now have clean teeth and a shiny coat.

The car makes a clicking sound when I turn to the right...what is that and how do I fix it?

(in reply to hot1)
Profile   Post #: 3303
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 4:58:46 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

Add soap to you're tiolet bowl. Pick up kitty and pet it reassuringly.  Quickly throw the cat into the toilet and close the lid.  Sit on lid if needed to ensure kitty stays in for the whole cleaning.  Cat will self agitate. Flush repeatedly to thoroughly wash and rinse...ignoring sounds coming from toilet...cat is actually enjoying this.  Have someone open from door, open lid and step away.  Cat will self dry while running out door.  Kitty should now have clean teeth and a shiny coat.

The car makes a clicking sound when I turn to the right...what is that and how do I fix it?


Dont turn to the right until you reach the intersection.  That clicking sound is the noise people's mailboxes make as you drive over them.

It is almost dark and I am ready for bed at 5pm.  What should I do?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3304
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 4:58:58 PM   
frenchy96


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		You have a front wheel drive car, don't ya. The problem is,  you make to many right hand turns. try and even out your driving habits. Turn left more. You must be right handed. /// Kidding, it is your CV joints (constant velosity).  Same as an axle. there is one axile for each front wheel. about $200 $300 to replace both. buy rebuilt parts.

(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3305
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 5:06:19 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: frenchy96

You have a front wheel drive car, don't ya. The problem is,  you make to many right hand turns. try and even out your driving habits. Turn left more. You must be right handed. /// Kidding, it is your CV joints (constant velosity).  Same as an axle. there is one axile for each front wheel. about $200 $300 to replace both. buy rebuilt parts.


Ok that was just way too detailed of an answer fr a problem I made up lol.

Sinergy, stop following you grandparents sleep schedule, chew some caffeine tabs and get back into the forum.

My pet cobra escaped into the air vents at work, what should I do?

(in reply to frenchy96)
Profile   Post #: 3306
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 5:15:54 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

quote:

ORIGINAL: frenchy96

You have a front wheel drive car, don't ya. The problem is,  you make to many right hand turns. try and even out your driving habits. Turn left more. You must be right handed. /// Kidding, it is your CV joints (constant velosity).  Same as an axle. there is one axile for each front wheel. about $200 $300 to replace both. buy rebuilt parts.


Ok that was just way too detailed of an answer fr a problem I made up lol.

Sinergy, stop following you grandparents sleep schedule, chew some caffeine tabs and get back into the forum.

My pet cobra escaped into the air vents at work, what should I do?


It is not so much the grandparents sleep schedule.  I spent 5 of the last 6 days mugging for 6 hours a day, which is profoundly debilitating and Im not physically recovered yet.

I would say release a pet cobra or two of the opposite gender into the air vents so you can establish an ecosystem to keep the rat populations down.

My downstairs neighbors complain of the noise when I drop things out of the freezer onto the floor.  What should I do?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3307
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 5:21:27 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Walk down to your neighbors place and beat them repeatedly over the head with your frozen foods while screaming"HOW DOES IT SOUND NOW?" 

The cobras are breeding well but are running out of rats.  Should I release the crate of mongooses, er...mongeese...whatever to thin their numbers?

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3308
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 5:34:21 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

Walk down to your neighbors place and beat them repeatedly over the head with your frozen foods while screaming"HOW DOES IT SOUND NOW?" 

The cobras are breeding well but are running out of rats.  Should I release the crate of mongooses, er...mongeese...whatever to thin their numbers?



Not necessary to thin their numbers.  Avail yourself of your local genetics and DNA modification lab to modify the species to be able to eat humans.  Food problem AND co-worker issues solved.

I have a friend who was in the Navy, and TreSwank posted that the Navy is a hotbed of homoerotic male sexual activity.  What should I do?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3309
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 5:36:11 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Avail yourself of your local genetics and DNA modification lab


Is this next to the photo lab in Walmart?

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3310
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 5:41:10 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Send your friend some gay porn and then drop TreSwank onto the deck of a navy carrier naked.

The supply of humans is getting low because the idiots at Walmart accelerated they're metabolism as well.  They've been kind of bitchy about returns these days.  Will I be able to take them back without a receipt?

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 3311
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 5:46:12 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

Send your friend some gay porn and then drop TreSwank onto the deck of a navy carrier naked.

The supply of humans is getting low because the idiots at Walmart accelerated they're metabolism as well.  They've been kind of bitchy about returns these days.  Will I be able to take them back without a receipt?


Quit your current job.  Take a few starter cobras to Walmart to eliminate the people there.  Get promoted to CEO of the entire corporation and institute union-bashing policy involving cobras being placed in every Walmart on the planet.

There is an item I have only found sold at Wal-Mart, and I would rather gouge my eyes out with a spoon than shop there.  What should I do?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3312
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 5:53:09 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Wait until my cobras have cleaned the rif raff out of the store and corporate headquarters and come one in.  I'll give you half off.

I need to recruit more employees to replace the ones eaten by the cobras.  Where do I get employees of better quality that the cobras don't have an appetite for?

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3313
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 5:54:13 PM   
Subject2Approval


Posts: 99
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline 		Kidnap your neighbors dog, and hold it for ransom. The ransom being the item you seek. Tell your neighbor he has to buy 2 of it (just in case it breaks you won't have to go through all this again). While your neighbor is gone throw the dog back into the yard. Then when he gets home, tell him you were kidding, but thanks for picking the item up for you.

Note: Just becareful of any baked goods your neighbor brings over for the next couple of months.

Problem: When I walk I wear a hole in my shoes. I have all these shoes with a hole right above my big toe. What can I do to fix them or the problem?


< Message edited by Subject2Approval -- 2/11/2007 5:55:04 PM >

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Subject2Approval

A condom is the glass slipper for our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger. - Fight Club

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3314
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 6:03:10 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Well you should be able to just use a blow torch to melt the parts together.   Make sure you foot is still in the shoe to ensure a good fit.

My shopping cart won't stop pulling to the left.  I just wedged my neighbors dog in the right wheel to balance it but he's really loud.  How do I keep him quiet? 

(in reply to Subject2Approval)
Profile   Post #: 3315
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 6:06:45 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

Wait until my cobras have cleaned the rif raff out of the store and corporate headquarters and come one in.  I'll give you half off.

I need to recruit more employees to replace the ones eaten by the cobras.  Where do I get employees of better quality that the cobras don't have an appetite for?


Avail yourself of your local genetics lab.

Splice the gene for pyrethrines into the human genome.

Breed a new race of wal-mart employees that are unpleasant for cobra to eat.

Dont share this gene splicing with the general public.

Plenty of employees.

Happy cobras.

No customers.

Problem solved.

My submissive smells like a plant, what do I do?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3316
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 6:12:54 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		What kind of plant.  A flower, a rotting plant, a chemical plant....in any event hose her down with febreeze in your choice of scents.

I'm throwing darts and sometimes I hit the cat.  How do I correct my aim?

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3317
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 6:16:53 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

What kind of plant.  A flower, a rotting plant, a chemical plant....in any event hose her down with febreeze in your choice of scents.

I'm throwing darts and sometimes I hit the cat.  How do I correct my aim?


A plant containing pyrethrines that is unpleasant to eat, umm, have oral sex with.

Find a qualified kink friendly therapist. 

Deal with your childhood issues which make it unpleasant to throw darts at cats.

Self actualize your dart expertise.

I am checked in to work tomorrow but I do not want to wake up and go to work.  What do I do?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3318
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 6:34:59 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		I already scared away a number of excellent therapists.

Burn down your place of employment during the night.  They'll just send you home and you can go to sleep or come back here.

The jolly greeen giant is still on the lido deck in the other thread.  I've already kicked him in the brussel sprouts but he persists in hitting or the sexy wenches.  What should we do about him?

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3319
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 6:46:45 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

Burn down your place of employment during the night.  They'll just send you home and you can go to sleep or come back here.



When PMA locked out the longshoremans union and closed the harbor for 10 days, the net cost to the US economy was estimated at about 54 billion dollars lost.  While it would be lovely to sleep in, I have issues with trashing other people's lives.

The chinese want to modify the Panama Canal to deal with their supercargo ships.  What do I do to protect my job?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3320
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