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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 7:08:19 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

The chinese want to modify the Panama Canal to deal with their supercargo ships.  What do I do to protect my job


Apply in Panama for a job there.

I moved to Panama for my Dom, and it is hot, what do I do?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3321
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 7:22:25 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Fill a bathtub with ice and stay in until your bits are numb.

I'm running out of vodka and OJ and the strores have already closed.  How do I fuel the rest of my screwdriver craving?

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 3322
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 8:28:10 PM   
rosanegra


Posts: 277
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		Get our your toolbox and start eating actual screwdrivers. Yum.


Mass insanity has broken out on the really, really bad advice message board. How do I cope with the resulting headache/confusion?

(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3323
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 8:45:37 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Cut off your own head with the tiny saw in the swiss army knife and put it in a bucket with plenty of ice.

The tools in my swiss army knife are getting dulling because everyone in the forums keep borrowing it.  What should I do?

(in reply to rosanegra)
Profile   Post #: 3324
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/12/2007 12:48:57 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

Cut off your own head with the tiny saw in the swiss army knife and put it in a bucket with plenty of ice.

The tools in my swiss army knife are getting dulling because everyone in the forums keep borrowing it.  What should I do?


After ensuring they do not have the gene splice making them unpleasant for cobras to eat, send them to Wal-Mart to buy their own swiss army knife.

The job I picked up this morning pays 10 hours of work on a time and a half day because of some dead president, and I had to go home for 6.5 hours in the middle of the day.  How can I ensure a steady supply of dead president days to take advantage of?


Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3325
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/12/2007 1:15:45 PM   
rosanegra


Posts: 277
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		The next time GWB is in town, shoot him. I am sure you won't have to go to work that day.

My friends are insisting I uphold a tradition of drinking whiskey at the formal my college holds every term, taking place tonight this term. Whiskey burns my throat. Help!

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3326
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/12/2007 1:18:16 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Mix it with castor oil, it will be a little smoother coming up.....

I hate my job and there is no fix for it but I will ask anyway, what to do?

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to rosanegra)
Profile   Post #: 3327
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/12/2007 1:40:00 PM   
rosanegra


Posts: 277
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		Take your mind off of it by participating in self-flagellation.

I am horny and my vibrator is dead. How should I go about solving the obvious resulting problem?

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 3328
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/12/2007 2:00:54 PM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		the batteries are probably dead. Pull the cord from an old lamp. Strip the wires bare, then splice them onto your vibrator. Wet the sheets of your bed, so you won't get too hot. Then plug the cord into the electrical outlet. Enjoy the brisk vibrations and the stimulating tingles.



I have to buy a birthday gift for my mother in law. The dear lady has never liked me much. What can I get her, to improve her appreciation of me?

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to rosanegra)
Profile   Post #: 3329
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/12/2007 2:13:18 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

I have to buy a birthday gift for my mother in law. The dear lady has never liked me much. What can I get her, to improve her appreciation of me?


A home version of the Dr. Kevorkian game.

My cell phone contract is up for renewal. What cell phone should I buy that won't be obsolete by Sunday?

(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 3330
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/12/2007 5:11:21 PM   
rosanegra


Posts: 277
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		A pink razr, of course! Oh, and DON'T buy the protection plan. They hold up great ;)

How do I deal with the hangover I am going to have tomorrow?

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 3331
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/12/2007 10:48:12 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Wish for snow so that you don't have to go anywhere. That way you can sleep off the hangover.

My right wrist and forearm are really sore lately. How can I make the pain go away?


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Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to rosanegra)
Profile   Post #: 3332
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/13/2007 1:33:07 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My right wrist and forearm are really sore lately. How can I make the pain go away?


It is a well known fact that liquid nitrogen is a wonderful pain killer. Fill a glass with liquid nitrogen and drink it, in a matter of seconds your arm will feel right as rain.

My oldest boy thinks my car is a taxi. How can I best convey the message that it isn't?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3333
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/13/2007 1:40:16 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

My oldest boy thinks my car is a taxi. How can I best convey the message that it isn't?

Stop speaking Pakistani.

What's better cable TV or Dish?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 3334
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/13/2007 1:49:13 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

What's better cable TV or Dish?


Cable TV. That hot little dish on your arm there is waaaay to distracting.

A sub is asking for cock pics. Should I send fighting cock or peacock pics?

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I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 3335
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/13/2007 2:56:55 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		A picture of a fighting cock attacking a peacock.

One if my co workers rambles on continuously about her dambass kids.  How do I make her see that her children are morons and will grow up to be unemployed and living in her basement?

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 3336
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/13/2007 4:04:34 PM   
Subject2Approval


Posts: 99
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

A picture of a fighting cock attacking a peacock.

One if my co workers rambles on continuously about her dambass kids.  How do I make her see that her children are morons and will grow up to be unemployed and living in her basement?


I say slap her upside the head and tell her straight out. I would use curse words and yell alot as well. Then if you really wanna make a point. You can do it via singing telegram. Those are effective. Hoped I helped!

Problem: I am overworked and underpaid. I need a real job with a chance to get ahead. Any suggestions?


_____________________________

Subject2Approval

A condom is the glass slipper for our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger. - Fight Club

(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3337
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/13/2007 5:14:58 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Subject2Approval

quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

A picture of a fighting cock attacking a peacock.

One if my co workers rambles on continuously about her dambass kids.  How do I make her see that her children are morons and will grow up to be unemployed and living in her basement?


I say slap her upside the head and tell her straight out. I would use curse words and yell alot as well. Then if you really wanna make a point. You can do it via singing telegram. Those are effective. Hoped I helped!

Problem: I am overworked and underpaid. I need a real job with a chance to get ahead. Any suggestions?



Throw your hat in the ring as a Republican congressional hopeful.  Then you wont actually have to do any real work and will make fabulous money.

I have to go to work in a few minutes, and the dishes dont do themselves.  What should I do?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Subject2Approval)
Profile   Post #: 3338
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/13/2007 7:55:59 PM   
MsPoetress


Posts: 1066
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I have to go to work in a few minutes, and the dishes dont do themselves.  What should I do?


Use them as clay pigeons, and use the left over shards as mulch. Roses love them!

Problem: I reached for my dinner plate tonight and burned all my fingers, and my thumb. How can I get them from throbbing?

~poe

_____________________________

~poe

I'm mad, you're mad, we're all mad here, it's the fad for many a year, if you think we're crazy my dear, you're right cause I'M mad, YOU'RE mad, we're ALL mad here! - Mad Hatter

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3339
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/13/2007 10:23:10 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I reached for my dinner plate tonight and burned all my fingers, and my thumb. How can I get them from throbbing?


Allow a small, furry wodland creature to gnaw through your wrist thusly detaching your ailing hand from your body.

My computer is making funny sounds like it wants to explode or something... what should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to MsPoetress)
Profile   Post #: 3340
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