Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice Page: <<   < prev  163 164 [165] 166 167   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 12:02:33 AM   
rosanegra


Posts: 277
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		Screw getting a new tire. Re-tread it yourself.
(sorry, wrote tired instead of tire.. think I've had a long day, maybe?)

I went skating tonight and banged my knee. It is swelling up. What can I do to make it better?

< Message edited by rosanegra -- 2/11/2007 12:04:09 AM >

(in reply to feylin)
Profile   Post #: 3281
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 1:16:03 AM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Bang the other knee so you have a matching set!

I keep getting bruises in odd places, like my spine. Are the gnomes hurting me in my sleep?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to rosanegra)
Profile   Post #: 3282
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 1:27:17 AM   
sensualmagirl


Posts: 1065
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline 		No, it's the tooth fairy with a mallot trying to get your adult teeth ... You must sleep on your stomach.  Here's what you need to do, set up a trap over your bed consisting of mosquito netting and hammers, and other torture devices... she flies in and voila, caught fairy... or, you'll be so bruised all over your body, everything will match.


My desk is in disarray, but, I've got a cold and don't want to take the time to clean it up, any suggestions?

_____________________________

"The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give" --Eleanor Roosevelt


MySpace

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3283
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 1:55:53 AM   
Theo23


Posts: 47
Joined: 5/4/2006
From: Minneapolis
Status: offline 		A messy desk is a good thing. Supposedly great discoverys have been the result of a messy desk. It forces you to search for what need, and you come across things you didn't know you needed! Leave it messy.

I'm terrible at ironing, I'm tempted to take all of my clothing to the dry cleaners just so thats ironed properly, is it worth it?

(in reply to sensualmagirl)
Profile   Post #: 3284
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 6:58:54 AM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		Everyone knows that the best method of ironing clothes without doing it yourself is to have a cat sleep on it. Guaranteed no one will notice any wrinkles.

Winter is too long and I've got cabin fever. How do I amuse myself so I don't have to go to the padded room again?

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to Theo23)
Profile   Post #: 3285
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 7:24:05 AM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		Use a telescope to spy on your neighbors. Call them to remind them to leave their curtains ajar. Scold them for staying up too late watching the Tonight Show. Suggest they buy new lingerie and lose a few pounds, to increase your viewing pleasure.

Our city has increased the number of speed traps on my route to work. If I get stopped for speeding, what might be a good way to talk the officer into not giving me a ticket?

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 3286
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 8:23:25 AM   
PoisonRoses


Posts: 65
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		pull out your bottle of jack black, take a swig, then offer him one.

I keep accidently putting my thong on backward.   How can I break this habit as I find I really seem to enjoy it?

(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 3287
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 8:47:06 AM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PoisonRoses



I keep accidently putting my thong on backward.   How can I break this habit as I find I really seem to enjoy it?



It really doesn't matter which way you wear it, as long as you are comfortable. This is especially true of thong bikinis. To be even more comfortable, don't shave prior to going to the beach.

How can I get my husband to stop leaving the toilet seat up?

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to PoisonRoses)
Profile   Post #: 3288
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 9:18:40 AM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nyrisa

How can I get my husband to stop leaving the toilet seat up?


Take if off altogether. He'll be surprised and impressed by your consideration for his needs.

i am completely overwhelmed by household projects, and am unlikely to finish them even if i retire now and live to be a hundred. What should i do?

(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 3289
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 11:45:26 AM   
sensualmagirl


Posts: 1065
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nyrisa

i am completely overwhelmed by household projects, and am unlikely to finish them even if i retire now and live to be a hundred. What should i do?



Sell it and live in a grass hut on an island someplace... get job as a bartender (a la "cocktail") and live happily ever after on coconuts.

I have a very large bottle of these herbal supplements I bought for a lot of money for a health concern that is gone now. They are about to expire soon, and I have most of them left. What should I do with all of these left-over pills?

_____________________________

"The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give" --Eleanor Roosevelt


MySpace

(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 3290
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 12:50:55 PM   
rosanegra


Posts: 277
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		Grind them up, add a generous amount of water, take the resulting liquid in via enema, hold for 20 minutes. The resulting boost in health will be astounding.

I feel sick after every meal at my college cafeteria. How should I deal with this?

(in reply to sensualmagirl)
Profile   Post #: 3291
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 2:55:50 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rosanegra

Grind them up, add a generous amount of water, take the resulting liquid in via enema, hold for 20 minutes. The resulting boost in health will be astounding.

I feel sick after every meal at my college cafeteria. How should I deal with this?



Wait until nobody is looking and sneak into the kitchen and vomit into the beef hash they will be serving at the next meal.  This will both cure your nausea and help prevent the university from raising tuition prices.

I told my landlady that the heater does not work in my apartment, but she disagreed and said it worked fine.  My Pothos and Ficus have icicles on them and it is after Christmas, what should I do?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to rosanegra)
Profile   Post #: 3292
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 2:59:12 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Shave with a hedge trimmer, it leaves a smooth wound free finish.

I got turned down for a promotion at work again. How should I deal with a boss that hates me?


(in reply to dorsaisgirl1)
Profile   Post #: 3293
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 3:01:37 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

Shave with a hedge trimmer, it leaves a smooth wound free finish.

I got turned down for a promotion at work again. How should I deal with a boss that hates me?




Convince him to become a Buddhist war protestor, and have him self immolate in my apartment to melt the
icicles.

My TIVO is filling up with episodes of South Park and Jackass.  What should I do?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3294
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 3:31:38 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Watch them religiously.  Forget, eating sleeping, working, and socializing, hygiene, only watch TIVO.

The boss catching on fire has set off the fire control system and my lunch is getting soaked.  I have money with me for a new lunch, what should I do?

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3295
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 4:15:24 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

The boss catching on fire has set off the fire control system and my lunch is getting soaked.  I have money with me for a new lunch, what should I do?


Go hungry and use the money to reserve a lawyer to sue your boss for the damage to your lunch (USD 10-00) plus a million dollars damages for your distress.

No one understands me. What should I do?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3296
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 4:18:46 PM   
quietkitten


Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline 		Kill all of them...... seriously....... now......


People tell me that I am scary psychotic... (they are all dead now)  how do I find people who will accept me for who I am?

_____________________________

The number 1 cause of stress is reality.

I miss my old Avatar :(

<< I am a depressed procrastinator with Alzheimers -- I am going to end it all.... tomorrow... or the next day.

Now what was I talking about again?

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 3297
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 4:19:46 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

The boss catching on fire has set off the fire control system and my lunch is getting soaked.  I have money with me for a new lunch, what should I do?


Go hungry and use the money to reserve a lawyer to sue your boss for the damage to your lunch (USD 10-00) plus a million dollars damages for your distress.

No one understands me. What should I do?

E


Have Google write an English to MaryEllen translator.  Download it to your brain from Tucows.com

I put up the hummingbird feeder, but they keep trying to eat from the bird seed feeder. 

What should I do?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 3298
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 4:23:11 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Run around around your yard waving your hands screaming"No Don't Eat the Seed!".  Give your neighbors plenty of time to call the men in white coats.

How do I get the blade on my lawn mower extra sharp?

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3299
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/11/2007 4:26:30 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

Run around around your yard waving your hands screaming"No Don't Eat the Seed!".  Give your neighbors plenty of time to call the men in white coats.

How do I get the blade on my lawn mower extra sharp?


Lawn mowers are disposable.  Buy a new one every time you mow the lawn.

Alternately, have your submissive pinch off each blade of grass at the MilSpec standard of 11.02398cm.

I have to go to work tomorrow but I am still tired.  What should I do?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3300
Page:   <<   < prev  163 164 [165] 166 167   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice Page: <<   < prev  163 164 [165] 166 167   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125