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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/2/2007 1:18:55 PM   
goodlittlegirl28


Posts: 2108
Joined: 1/8/2007
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what's your dog doing just laying around looking pitiful for? what, people are just standing around handing out free belly rubs? get a job, earn her keep!

i am having dinner guests in less than two hours and have a rather large pile o'crap i'm not sure what to do with near the table. suggestions?

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You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Love people, not things. Use things, not people.

(in reply to Mikal)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/2/2007 1:22:29 PM   
BeatMeDaily


Posts: 99
Joined: 1/7/2007
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i'm trying to figure out what was that pile of grey fur left in the yard by my dog
Molly, a Jack Russell must hunt ... 

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It takes all kinds of critters to make Uncle Ben's fritters.

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/2/2007 1:24:15 PM   
diz


Posts: 1076
Joined: 9/6/2006
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place the crap in the middle of the table.. stick a candle in the top and tell your guests its a new designer art deco dressing......

i have spilt candle wax on my carpet.. i did the helpful thing of placing newspaper on the floor and placing an iron on it to draw up the wax... its worked before BUT this time I have burnt the damn carpet... what shall i do?

(in reply to goodlittlegirl28)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/2/2007 6:34:13 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
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Burn the rest of the carpet to match it...

Someone has been smoking in my car at work...how do I get the smell out?


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the only one that I have ever known.

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/3/2007 12:24:48 PM   
angeldevil


Posts: 503
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: uk
Status: offline
Take the roof and doors off with a circular saw and spray "fart in a can".
A sparrowhawk is taking out the birds in my garden, how can I stop it?

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Do these welts make my butt look big?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/4/2007 2:33:49 PM   
diz


Posts: 1076
Joined: 9/6/2006
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get a lion in your garden.

my tongue is swollen... what should i do?



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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/4/2007 3:08:32 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline
Put it to good use on/in a woman who enjoys larger appendages.

I'm wasting time again. How do I stop?



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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/4/2007 4:27:50 PM   
LadySeraphina


Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline
Put time in a baggie, then mail it to someone in a part of the world where they don't have time to waste.
"Stop wasting that time, young lady! There are people in first-world countries who would love to have all that time!"

I'm thinking of chopping paulthesub into little tiny pieces for his previous comment, but then I can't play with him again. How do I get to do both?

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/4/2007 4:44:07 PM   
diz


Posts: 1076
Joined: 9/6/2006
Status: offline
now that was GOOD advice lololol.......

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/4/2007 8:32:31 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: diz

now that was GOOD advice lololol.......

Sometimes I'm good... sometimes not... *weg*

I seem to have a problem... I'm giving out good advice. How to I correct this?



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You know that I am a sexy penguin.

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Profile   Post #: 3810
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/5/2007 2:39:10 PM   
diz


Posts: 1076
Joined: 9/6/2006
Status: offline
take up some therapist training.....

i seem to be following someone unintentionally..... how can i stop???

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 3811
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/5/2007 10:06:57 PM   
servilecat


Posts: 126
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline
Stop following them unintentionally and do it with conviction...do it intentionally!!

my cat wont stop taunting my rottweiler by writing nasty comments on the sliding glass door.  i havent seen her do it but i'm sure the gerbil isnt doing it so it has to be her.  How do i get her to spell better?

(in reply to diz)
Profile   Post #: 3812
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/6/2007 6:32:59 AM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
Arrange some private time and allow the rottweiller to tutor the cat on spelling. It is likely you'd not see another misspelled word from her.


My son has just turned 16, and wants to be allowed to drive. The cost of the insurance increase would support a third world country for a year. What should I do?

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A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to servilecat)
Profile   Post #: 3813
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/6/2007 12:16:41 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My son has just turned 16, and wants to be allowed to drive. The cost of the insurance increase would support a third world country for a year. What should I do?


Sell your son to pay for the increased insurance costs.

Things have been crazy lately and I fear I am losing my marbles. Anything I can do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to nyrisa)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/6/2007 12:20:39 PM   
diz


Posts: 1076
Joined: 9/6/2006
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hide them in a 'safe' place and start collecting something else to compensate....


i can not seem to get into my studies at all... any advice?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 3815
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/6/2007 12:20:42 PM   
LadySeraphina


Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline
Start keeping your marbles in a box on a shelf, like any other sensible Lost Boy.

I need to yawn, but can't seem to get it out, and I'm starting to panic that I may never yawn again, what do I do?

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 3816
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/15/2007 10:03:02 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I need to yawn, but can't seem to get it out, and I'm starting to panic that I may never yawn again, what do I do?


I task you with the chore of translating this entire thread to Latin and then reposting it backward.

This thread has been dormant for a few days. How can I revive interest in it?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to LadySeraphina)
Profile   Post #: 3817
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/15/2007 12:13:44 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline
ask nicely and folks may join again

my jaw hurts from tmj what do i do?

< Message edited by cariad -- 4/15/2007 12:19:45 PM >


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The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/15/2007 12:33:13 PM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
You should exercise it, by sucking a golf ball down the length of a garden hose.

My husband is in a frenzy of Do It Yourself home remodeling, and I am not sure our house will survive. What should I do to distract him?

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to cariad)
Profile   Post #: 3819
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/15/2007 12:49:23 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline
Greetings nyrisa:

seduce Him by wearing nothing but a bra and panties

my head hurts all the tylenols do is make me sleepy what do i do?

Blessed Be
cariad

_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 3820
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