RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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MadameDahlia -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 4:40:10 AM)
Absolutely. Chocolate... a nice book... maybe a bubble bath... always put off today what there's probably time to do tomorrow. My television and my stereo both respond to the television remote. When I hit power or try to turn the volume up on the television the stereo turns on. (It's true!) Any thoughts on how I could get the wretched stereo to behave itself?

colosubseeking -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 12:55:56 PM)
Try scolding it. If that doesn't work, hang it cord first off a roof and threaten to drop it if it doesn't play nicely. Make sure the stereo is heavy and the cord is wrapped arond your foot. How do i get rid of a dead body?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 1:13:11 PM)
quote: How do i get rid of a dead body? Give it to the police. They are good with that sort of thing. I need to paint my mother's porch. Any thoughts as to what color to use?

SweetPosession -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 1:24:14 PM)
Search through her closet and make up a color pallate of things she doesn't wear. Go buy gallons of the day-glo equivalent (unless your mother wears day-glo, in which case paint the porch lilac and then kill her). My eye keeps twitching. How do I know if it's a serious problem?

mnottertail -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 2:11:52 PM)
Stick an icepick in it, and if it hurts; well, it's doubtless serious. My home computer is blown up again, and I find no reason for it, and I am sick of buying disk drives for that POS...what to do? what to do? Ron

sylphgossamer -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 2:14:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail My home computer is blown up again, and I find no reason for it, and I am sick of buying disk drives for that POS...what to do? what to do? Ron Toss it out the window, take a chainsaw to it, and make a bird feeder out of it. also, just to give you more things to do, go out and buy a mac i don't seem to get anything right, what should i do?

SweetPosession -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 2:29:49 PM)
Stop trying. I got caught shoplifting again. What can I do to be more sucessful?

sylphgossamer -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 3:29:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetPosession Stop trying. I got caught shoplifting again. What can I do to be more sucessful? don't get caught i can't decide whether to have surgery i need. what can i do to help decide?

HouseofBear -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 5:07:59 PM)
Toss a coin, and if the answer is affirmative, have your best friend perform the surgery after reading surgery for dummies in order to save money (of course without anesthesia). How do I manage to get the last bit of nutella out of the jar?

SweetPosession -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 6:15:27 PM)
put your tongue in a cock pump until it's long enough to lick the bottom of the jar. How do I get this cut to heal faster?

Phoenixandnika -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 6:19:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetPosession How do I get this cut to heal faster? Super glue the cut closed. How do I make my loud neighbors be quiet? Nika{Phoenix}

MyCaptainsPet -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 6:20:38 PM)
a truck load of TNT and a book of matchs How can i get rid of the rash i have on my hands?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 7:06:09 PM)
quote: How can i get rid of the rash i have on my hands? Use a belt sander with about 20 grit paper. Then, to prevent rashes in the future, dip your hands in lye. There is a humming noise coming from my fuse box... is that normal and if so, what should I do about it?

Craftsman -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 7:09:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge There is a humming noise coming from my fuse box... is that normal and if so, what should I do about it? First, find the lyrics to the melody. Teach the fuse box the words. Then, you might want to get a recorder and make a demo recording that will go to the top of the novelty record charts. How do I keep the paint from flaking off my old '89 pick up truck?

Phoenixandnika -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 7:48:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Craftsman How do I keep the paint from flaking off my old '89 pick up truck? Take a can of spay pain that matches as close as possible and a brown paper bag. Spray one are of the care then spray for 10 seconds into the bag then hold the bag to your mouth and breathe deep. Repeat this process until all of the sections of your car are spray painted. (please do NOT attempt the above!) How do I get a body like Julia Roberts and hair like Angela Jolie? Nika{Phoenix}

Takethiswaltz -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 8:17:18 PM)
Dial 1-800-nip/tuck My job is getting on my nerves. what can i do to make it better?

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 8:24:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Takethiswaltz My job is getting on my nerves. what can i do to make it better? Stop taking your nerves to work with you. My toilet is still flushing too slowly and I am getting a blister on My palm from the constant plunging. Help??

gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 8:32:23 PM)
Don't use the toilet. What else do you have a spare bedroom for? I'm trying to put up a bookshelf, but can't get into the concrete. How do I put it up?

SylentStryder -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 9:58:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavemj i wear my heart on my sleeve. This causes a rather obvious red stain on my shirt, and sometimes people ask me what the pulsating lump is on my arm......it gets embarrasing. Any advice? heh.....you think THAT bad......try wearing your liver as a cap sometime.....talk about SUNBURN !!!

SylentStryder -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/27/2006 10:02:36 PM)
How do I get a body like Julia Roberts and hair like Angela Jolie? Nika{Phoenix} (Just a little out take from an earlier posting) Become Angelina Roberts, or is it Julia Jolie, or Robert Angel, or maybe Jo Roberts....oh hell, I dunno !!!

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