RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/16/2006 2:08:17 AM)

Unleash your inner urban warrior.  Start up an underground
group a la "Fight Club".  But sure to visit several self-help and
specific disease support groups, even if they don't apply to you.
The tears and sweaty hugs by giant guys with "man boobs"
and soul searing confessions will replace your faith in lost
humanity.
 
I have to submit final projects for a class at 7:30 am one day
this week.  As a inveterate insomniac, there is no way in Hell
I can go to sleep early enough to have a decent amount of
REM sleep that night.  What the F*** do I do?!
 
-Vendaval-


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I am getting too cynical as I get older. Is this a problem and if so, what should I do about it?



rivenmoon -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/16/2006 2:22:18 AM)

Your a dominant be firm, send yourself to bed and demand you sleep, take a hammer and knock yourself out.
 
I have a nervous habit of putting my foot-in-my-mouth at social functions, what can I do?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/16/2006 2:13:42 PM)

quote:

I have a nervous habit of putting my foot-in-my-mouth at social functions, what can I do?


Make sure that you wash them with soap and water before inserting them in your mouth. Apply a nice, edible, sented oil to them also.


I need to decide whether or not to stay with dial-up or to get DSL. What should I do?



mnottertail -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/16/2006 2:19:59 PM)

Gauge buddy,

Holland is a long way off, now if you wanna learn Dutch as a Second Language I would go for the CDs because talking on the telephone to learn it is gonna cost a bundle.

I need it to be friday, again; already; suggestions?

Ron



angelface183 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/16/2006 2:22:59 PM)

wash down a handful of valium with a bottle of Nyquil and before you know it, it's Friday!

My Beloved is coming over in about an hour and I still haven't finished cleaning my apartment.  What should I do?



Mercnbeth -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/16/2006 2:32:40 PM)

quote:

My Beloved is coming over in about an hour and I still haven't finished cleaning my apartment.  What should I do?


Greet him at the door naked, on your knees and hand him his preferred toy of choice. If he notices the apartment isn't clean BEFORE enjoying your greeting you may have a bigger problem than a dirty apartment.

My employee made me his "ultimate" decision maker. He's going through a very serious medical procedure tomorrow. If something happens should I sell his pick up truck or give it to my son?



angelface183 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/16/2006 2:35:24 PM)

Actually Merc & beth, that's pretty good advice!



mnottertail -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/16/2006 2:46:40 PM)

Fuck, are you kidding me?  Give it to your kid, that way there is no grey area in the conflict of interest game and you don't have to spend a bundle on lawyers arguing meaningless shit.

I NEED a truck right now, are you looking to adopt?




Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/17/2006 11:23:39 AM)

quote:

I NEED a truck right now, are you looking to adopt?


Ron, do not ask such a question. Show up on Merc's doorstep and when he opens the door, hug him and call him Dad. I am sure the truck will not be far behind.


I need something to read for my bedtime reading. Any thoughts?



MyCaptainsPet -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/17/2006 12:10:23 PM)

Try "Red Hat, Blue Hat" Or "The Cat in the Hat"

i sprained my ankle badly today, how can i keep the swelling down?



mnottertail -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/17/2006 1:30:10 PM)

MOM! DAD!



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/17/2006 2:23:07 PM)

quote:

i sprained my ankle badly today, how can i keep the swelling down?


It is a well known fact that you can keep swelling down by using a large hammer and beating on the swelling area. This will disperse the fluid and your ankle will be good as new in no time.


They are cutting trees in my neighborhood and the sound is loud and it disturbs my sleep. What can I do?



MyCaptainsPet -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/17/2006 4:36:16 PM)

Take two sleeping pills and put one in each ear to block the noise...

i can't remember special dates during the year, what should i do?



Reflectivesoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/17/2006 5:45:02 PM)

Call everyone you know on the second day of the new year and wish them a multitude of things, birthdays, aniversaries, graduations everything... then send out a pile of cards on the 3rd commorating each event. When the day rolls around and someone bitches that you forgot, say nope I was just ahead of the game! [:D]
 
My ex and his mom live close to me and they are always pestering the hell out of me, what should I do to make them stop?



CERCKL -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/17/2006 5:47:28 PM)

Go over to their place and offer them cocktails, Molotov...

I would like to find a better paying job, what should I do?

C



Reflectivesoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/17/2006 5:50:09 PM)

Strut into the office of a prospective employer and put your dick on the desk and say " this is what I'm bringing to the party".[:D]
 
I want to get another 81 T-Bird and cant find one, what should I do?
 
 



Wulfchyld -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/17/2006 5:57:13 PM)

RS
Call Mattel.

What kind of swith should I switch a switch with. Hickory?



Reflectivesoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/17/2006 6:13:52 PM)

nope you should swith with a rubber garden hose its the best swithin there is *giggles*
 
I like bubblewrap and I ran out, what should I do?



tade -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/17/2006 6:19:04 PM)

Lay out in the sun until nice and blistered, then pop away.

I can't stop scratching this bug bite... Thoughts?



Reflectivesoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/17/2006 6:23:32 PM)

take an industrial strength toilet brush and scratch at it with that untill it breaks open then take rubbing alcohol and iodine and pour them into the wound and after that take a half a lemon and rub it over the entire area for 15 minutes, to soak up any excess seepage run around with a maxi pad stuck to your forehead.
 
my friend has a really bad hairdo and I want to tell her to change it, how should I go about telling her?



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