RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Littlepita -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/14/2006 11:57:44 AM)

I think you should wear your tight leather pants from your 80's glory days and that T-shirt that says "Mom's do it right"


I can't seem to find the motivation to stick to my diet. What do I do?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/14/2006 10:14:39 PM)

quote:

I can't seem to find the motivation to stick to my diet. What do I do?


Go buy the entire TV series Rosanne. Look at her and then think of eating. It can't be done. Tom Arnold proved that.


It is 1:15 AM and I am not tired yet. Perhaps there is some way do induce sleep without the use of drugs?



angelface183 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 4:30:28 AM)

Mass quantities of alcohol, of course!

My boss is a tyrant and has been known to make me cry, what should I do?



Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 5:30:10 AM)

quote:

My boss is a tyrant and has been known to make me cry, what should I do?


Shoot him.  Then you can go stay with the nice people in maximum security who would never be that mean.
 
I'm not at work today because I'm experiencing vertigo and the whole room is spinning.  I need to see a doctor, but can't drive.  What should I do?



angelface183 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 5:49:33 AM)

Forget the Doctor...just take some Dramamine for the motion sickness and enjoy the ride!

I am now in Maximum Security having killed my boss.  A rather large woman named Bertha has asked me (if you call grabbing me by hair and throwing me against a wall asking) to be her bitch.  I prefer my Dommes to be a little more fem...should I suggest a makeover?



mnottertail -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 12:10:16 PM)

You may hand her a victorias secret catalogue under the guise of ripping them off, maybe she will catch on.  Other than that I am one of those guys that wanna watch this play out.

Ron



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 2:26:28 PM)

Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron... you didn't post a question. AGAIN!!! [8D]


I have to do laundry tonight but I am not sure I will have the time. Is there a way I can do laundry and still do the things I need to?



spankmepink11 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 2:40:31 PM)

No there's no way around it....throw away all the dirty clothes and go on a shopping spree


 My Mom's coming to visit,...and is very nosy...where can i possibly hide all my BDSM clothing...books...toys...



angelface183 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 2:58:52 PM)

there's no way around it throw them all away and go on a shopping spree when she leaves!

i want to order a pizza, but i am lactose intolerant what should i do?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 4:09:12 PM)

quote:

i want to order a pizza, but i am lactose intolerant what should i do


Don't drink milk with it. Duh.


I just looked at the labels of some frozen dinner I bought. I find the sodium content to be very, very high. Is there anything I can do to lower that?



gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 4:23:37 PM)

Add lots and lots of salt.  I hear that absorbs sodium.

I'm buying a 77 gallon tank, but don't have a car.  How can I get it home?

Yours,


benji



angelface183 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 4:29:15 PM)

have them put it in a plastic bag, you know the kind with handles.  oh and have them fill it up with water for you too, and use their dechlorinator...that way you don't have to buy any!

I didn't get my mom anything for Mother's Day , what should I do?



gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 4:31:33 PM)

Write her a polite e-mail explaining that she's not your mother, and that you know, because you were there at your own birth.

I'm hungry, but full at the same time. What should I do?

Yours,


benji 



angelface183 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 4:33:32 PM)

eat in the bathroom!

My mom just showed me videos of my birth, that wouldn't be so bad but it included my conception too!  How do I get rid of that image?



gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 4:36:17 PM)

Hydrochloric acid in the ears. 

How do I get rid of all the dust bunnies under my couches?

Yours,


benji



Mercnbeth -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 4:51:12 PM)

quote:

How do I get rid of all the dust bunnies under my couches?


Go to the pet store and buy dust foxes to eat the bunnies.

I can't find my passport and need to replace it fast for an upcoming trip out of the US.



CERCKL -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 6:42:46 PM)

C'mon...why do you need advice for this; photoshop, scanner and "F" Homeland Security...or order one online from another country if you don't feel creative :-P

I can't seem to get my teen to help with chores, now what???

C



Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 8:35:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dorsaisgirl1

should i shave or wax my cunt

Should you decide not to do both, then definitely wax:

  • First, wash the surface to remove bugs, tar, and road grime.
  • Dry the surface with a sheepskin chamois.
  • Hire the kid next door to apply was with broad, lapping motions.
  • Select only the finest Simonize Turtle wax.
  • If you use an buffer, move it in gentle sweeps.
  • Use a conditioner to treat black rubber parts.
  • Finally, take it out for a spin.

This has been Click and Clack for Car Talk



Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 8:39:37 PM)


Oops, how did I get out of sync?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL

I can't seem to get my teen to help with chores, now what???


Advice: Get the brochure for the Stepford Teens.


Help: Obviously I need advice posting! What, O what, must I do?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/15/2006 11:02:26 PM)

quote:

Help: Obviously I need advice posting! What, O what, must I do?


You know the old saying "Practice makes perfect?" Well that is a load of shit. If after over 800 posts you don't know how to post it would be best if you gave up, sold your computer and invested in crayons and paper you then could start your own message board on a telephone poll outside your home.

I am getting too cynical as I get older. Is this a problem and if so, what should I do about it?



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