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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 10:03:05 PM   
dorsaisgirl1


Posts: 156
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		to grow your hair faster pull it alot and sleep up side down
how do i keep my son from moveing around when trying to change his dieppers

(in reply to dorsaisgirl1)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 10:22:19 PM   
Takethiswaltz


Posts: 199
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		Easy.  First thing in the morning, put several daipers on him, each on top of the other.  then every few hours, take one off.  This works, no??
 
I want a boob job but I have no money.  How should i pay for it?

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

~Leonard Cohen~

(in reply to dorsaisgirl1)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 10:29:38 PM   
fergus


Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		Donate one for the price of the other ... at least you'd have one, and maybe there'd be a half-of sale.

Should I varnish my cat?

fergus

(in reply to Takethiswaltz)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 10:38:29 PM   
Takethiswaltz


Posts: 199
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		of course.  a shiny cat is so pretty.
 
if i wear smaller shoes, will my feet get shorter?

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

~Leonard Cohen~

(in reply to fergus)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 10:42:25 PM   
windy135


Posts: 437
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline 		Yes and if you wear bigger shoes your feet will bet bigger... 

I want to visit the moon.  How can I accomplish this task?

(in reply to Takethiswaltz)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 10:43:38 PM   
SparklyAltoGirl


Posts: 69
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Get a pogo stick and hold your breath.

One of Daddys work shirts is missing a button but I don't sew. What should I do?

_____________________________

Clothespins aren't just for clothes anymore.

(in reply to windy135)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 10:47:17 PM   
wytchywoman


Posts: 510
Joined: 2/27/2006
From: Southeastern Michigan
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SparklyAltoGirl

One of Daddys work shirts is missing a button but I don't sew. What should I do?


Glue it and hope it sticks.


_____________________________

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson


(in reply to SparklyAltoGirl)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 10:48:08 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

One of Daddys work shirts is missing a button but I don't sew. What should I do


Staple the shirt to his chest. Use duct tape as a back up plan.

I need to clean my microwave, is there an easy way to do it?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to SparklyAltoGirl)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 10:49:38 PM   
Takethiswaltz


Posts: 199
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		glue the shirt closed and tell him to pull it over his head.
 
I want to rob a bank.  How should I do this?

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

~Leonard Cohen~

(in reply to SparklyAltoGirl)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 10:50:26 PM   
wytchywoman


Posts: 510
Joined: 2/27/2006
From: Southeastern Michigan
Status: offline 		-whiness-  I don't have a question. Does that mean I can't play anymore?


_____________________________

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson


(in reply to wytchywoman)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 11:18:35 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I want to rob a bank.  How should I do this?



Well, first you dig around the foundation of the bank and then lift the bank from the foundation. You slip the bank into your pocket and walk casually back to your house where you can use a hammer to break open the bank and get the money out.

I need to clean my microwave, is there an easy way to do it?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Takethiswaltz)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 11:20:06 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

-whiness-  I don't have a question. Does that mean I can't play anymore?


Yes it does. I am sure that you will come up with something to ask... give yourself time. If not try chocolate...

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to wytchywoman)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 11:31:27 PM   
wytchywoman


Posts: 510
Joined: 2/27/2006
From: Southeastern Michigan
Status: offline 		You poop head, Gauge!

_____________________________

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/14/2006 12:08:16 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:


I need to clean my microwave, is there an easy way to do it?


Put it in the dishwasher.

Gauge has poop in his hair. What's the best way for him to get it out?

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/14/2006 12:08:17 AM   
Twice


Posts: 179
Joined: 9/15/2005
From: Gainesville, Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

I need to clean my microwave, is there an easy way to do it?


Yes... microwave a bottle of 409.  That should do the trick.

I bought a pet fish.  He's so pretty.  Can I reach in the tank and pet him?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/14/2006 12:08:51 AM   
ChainedExistence


Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline 		Sure, that piranha will really enjoy that.

I always forget to take out the trash and miss pick-up day..how can I remember it in time?

< Message edited by ChainedExistence -- 4/14/2006 12:12:12 AM >

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/14/2006 12:37:55 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainedExistence

I always forget to take out the trash and miss pick-up day..how can I remember it in time?


After your garbage is picked up this week, instead of putting the cans back in your garage, put them out on your curb for next week and put your garbage in a box.
 
How do I get spots out of my eyes after pictures are taken?

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to ChainedExistence)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/14/2006 12:39:29 AM   
Twice


Posts: 179
Joined: 9/15/2005
From: Gainesville, Florida
Status: offline 		Simply remove your eyeballs with a fork.  No more problems!

I have bug bites that won't heal.  How should I deal with this?

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/14/2006 2:58:05 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twice


I have bug bites that won't heal.  How should I deal with this?



Stop biting them...squish them instead.

My lawn mower is broken what should I do?

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to Twice)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/14/2006 3:04:03 AM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		Buy a few sheep and goats. Let them graze your lawn.

I ran out of dental floss, how do I clean between my teeth and gums?

                        mbmbn

PS:
quote:

Gauge has poop in his hair. What's the best way for him to get it out?

Poor Gauge, you've been waiting a while ,with poop in your hair, for some advice. I find a fine tooth comb works well for this problem. If it's really sticky dip the comb in 100 %  hydrogen peroxide.

< Message edited by maybemaybenot -- 4/14/2006 3:08:55 AM >

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to Oumae)
Profile   Post #: 120
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