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RE: What is your test? - 7/23/2010 10:41:33 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterLark

I periodically hear of a Master/Dom/Domme testing a new sub/slave, that there is a test with a series of questions or tasks, to determine whether the sub/slave is acceptable to continue the relationship. All relationships involve testing and probing who the other person really is, but what I am talking about here is something of an actual list. I have no such test. What I am curious about here is: what are the actual test questions and/or tasks that some use that seem to work for them...and why do they work or why do they not work?

What is your test?

I've been brooding on this ere I chose to respond. In the most part I'll meet someone on line and well pass messages/emails for a short time to ensure the slave has actually read my profile (here, on FetLife or elsewhere I have it posted including my home web site). I'll ask if he or she has any questions about it and if they haven't but have not visited my home site, I direct them there with the two pass words to enable them to enter the AO Portal. This takes them to pages which set out the basic duties and other important items including dress codes, protocols and what have you. This then gives us a basis from which to start. If he or she are happy thus far, IU set up a coffee meet so we can put a physical person to the voice. (If they have Skype I'll get them on there and go voice to voice of possible. Soon, I'll add a web-cam for video conferences which will help too). This face to face meeting allows the three of us (Neets, myself and the applicant) to get a feel of each other (No not touching up you grub... WEG).

Following the Coffee Meet, the applicant is invited to visit us if I wasn't able to take Storm and RaRa with us to see if they pass the Malamute & Malamute/Husky test. During the conversations I will be seeking to find out the sort of training and experience the applicant has especially regarding service and domestic work. At the same time I will be seekinh information regarding the sorts and levels of BDSM "plays" they have, their limits and especially hard limits. We should be able to establish if the applicant is a potential or not suitable for us and if we are suited for them too.. At the end of the day, I should have a reasonable idea and know where to place the applicant and the likely type of service they will be involved in:

Domestic Service Only.
Domestic Service & Sex.
Domestic Service & BDSM.
Domestic Service Service, Sex & BDSM.

Again I will have a reasonable idea of what training I need to provide in the general areas such as Silver Service, Formal Functions and so on. Obviously there is the training to bring the applicant up to scratch for what I and Neets require in personal service, Coffee, tea, baths, shaving gear set up as well as assisting either of us if our disabilities are being difficult. (Most things are set out in the General Orders, Monthly Orders, Weekly Orders and Daily Orders). This is just a brief outline and does change according to requirements, people involved and a number of other factors.

I probably should add and after reading some of the replies, unlike many who are also hoping to find a long term or life partner, we are looking for people to staff a Victorian Period Lifestyle home first and foremost which does mean domestic servitude with possibly BDSM and sex as a bonus. Being a poly home of course we are hoping to find the compatible third but this is just a consideration and not one I'll be holding my breath for. Crikey it's hard enough to get a domestic oriented slave if any sex or orientation let alone one who will part of the polyness of the home.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 7/23/2010 10:51:37 AM >

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Iron Bear

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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Post #: 121

RE: What is your test? - 7/23/2010 12:32:13 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I probably should add and after reading some of the replies, unlike many who are also hoping to find a long term or life partner, we are looking for people to staff a Victorian Period Lifestyle home first and foremost which does mean domestic servitude with possibly BDSM and sex as a bonus. Being a poly home of course we are hoping to find the compatible third but this is just a consideration and not one I'll be holding my breath for. Crikey it's hard enough to get a domestic oriented slave if any sex or orientation let alone one who will part of the polyness of the home.

I often find there's a pervasive assumption that domesticity is something that all slaves embody or aspire to possess. In particular single women my age and older without dependents. While I can't speak for others and admittedly confess I'm the Martha Stewart sort, I often wonder if they've given consideration to the lifestyle or background of the party in question. The idea that we yearn to spend our waking moments washing, cleaning, and cooking is a little mind numbing. Especially those that have vibrant careers and an active social life. If anything it was often the opposite. Although you're upfront about what you're seeking in a prospective applicant, I think the ideologies concerning slavery and the domestic parallels drawn (read: maid) are generally fantasy driven.

~porcelaine

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Post #: 122

RE: What is your test? - 7/23/2010 3:00:46 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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In some cases I'd agree, and possibly even more so in the 21st Century, and certainly here in Australia. However I take my lead from the way I was raised and grew up in a home with several servants. Of course as our businesses grow and start creating better passive income, we would and if necessary, seek to hire trained domestic servants (well a couple anyway) to allow us time to give to our businesses. I also understand only too well that whilst I remain here in SE Queensland, I less likely to find a slave at all irrespective of her ability to handle domestic work or not; again my being married to a Domme and my age is working against me. However this is fine because thankfully, The Victorian Lifestyle, like the Gorean one, is not slave or BDSM dependent.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to porcelaine)

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Post #: 123

RE: What is your test? - 7/23/2010 5:02:07 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

In some cases I'd agree, and possibly even more so in the 21st Century, and certainly here in Australia. However I take my lead from the way I was raised and grew up in a home with several servants. Of course as our businesses grow and start creating better passive income, we would and if necessary, seek to hire trained domestic servants (well a couple anyway) to allow us time to give to our businesses. I also understand only too well that whilst I remain here in SE Queensland, I less likely to find a slave at all irrespective of her ability to handle domestic work or not; again my being married to a Domme and my age is working against me. However this is fine because thankfully, The Victorian Lifestyle, like the Gorean one, is not slave or BDSM dependent.

I respect your approach because you're honest and the individual is made aware of what they're walking into and that is fine. What prompted me to respond (and I thank you for your courtesy) was the omission of informative feedback like yours when one encounters a prospective dominant. The foregone assumption is what truly astounds and is rarely articulated in a positive fashion. You raise another important point in your remarks that I appreciate. Our millennium has given birth to an increased population of single women with varying levels of success. It has been said that we have more single persons at this time than ever before. This leads me to wonder if the idea is realistic or merely targeting a demographic (within a demographic) that is relatively minuscule?

The irony of it all is that there are women in possession of the skills you seek that find they're rarely in demand. I can count on one hand how many would appreciate and sincerely make use of the attributes found in that dynamic. It is almost a case of being unqualified on one level and significantly overqualified in the other. Perhaps the merits of domesticity would be warmly embraced if the responsibilities were viewed with respect rather than an expectation unworthy of favor. The beauty of the individual stations is what each bring to the household. But if he cannot see them in that guise, how can he inspire the same in those under his charge?

~porcelaine

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Post #: 124

RE: What is your test? - 7/23/2010 5:32:57 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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Ahh sweet lady, this is covered too for within a Victorian Household of even a small size (staff wise) and lets say for example I have a submissive couple (married or unmarried), the girl once trained and proficient is promoted from maid to Housekeeper and the boy from yard man to something akin to Butler with his job including the maintenance such as mowing the lawn unless Neets snaffles the ride on mower as is her want when possible. It may even be that I relinquish much of the cooking and have a Cook/Chef with the entire household mucking in when necessary. Ergo, visitors are introduced to the Butler (a most important person according to every Butler I have ever met) and the Housekeeper Mrsxxxxxxxx. (Again another vital part of the home) thus their status is elevated genuinely and I would trust without any worry that their performances would display why they are where they are. I have too long said when we again get to that stage, staff will be on the payroll which is always a good thing as far as reassurances of financial savings etc is concerned. Funnily enough, with a slightly better than modest income, filling these places from outside BDSM/Kink here will not be a problem so I'd only need worry about the professional training etc as would any employer.

Should I need to go down that path, I'll simply look for one or more regular or regular casual play partners for both of us, be they subs or slaves..

< Message edited by IronBear -- 7/23/2010 5:36:06 PM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to porcelaine)

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Post #: 125

RE: What is your test? - 7/23/2010 6:58:33 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Ahh sweet lady, this is covered too for within a Victorian Household of even a small size (staff wise) and lets say for example I have a submissive couple (married or unmarried), the girl once trained and proficient is promoted from maid to Housekeeper and the boy from yard man to something akin to Butler with his job including the maintenance such as mowing the lawn unless Neets snaffles the ride on mower as is her want when possible.

The formality is something I'm accustomed to. It reminds me of my childhood. My parents ran a very structured household and I believe that's why certain historical periods (Victorian and Edwardian) resonate quite favorably. I'm positive this is the inspiration for my respect for protocol and why I lean in that direction in my relationships. To this day I operate my home in a very regimented manner. However, I don't encounter many dominant men seeking the same, or perhaps that level of proficiency. It's a little challenging to offer him services that he doesn't deem necessary. For these reasons and many more I suspect my next partner will come from the corporate world instead. They're apt to utilize the full scope of my abilities in a manner I have yet to encounter within BDSM circles thus far.

~porcelaine

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His will; my fate.

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Post #: 126