quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterLark




OR...at least no one willing to tell us about their test questions and tasks....

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterLark




OR...at least no one willing to tell us about their test questions and tasks....

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage
jujubee, you're so smart!

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
I kind of know it... but in the end, doesn't it all work out the same way?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I said this on the very first response.  You came here saying that you saw/heard of other people using this method.  Overwhelmingly, the people who responded to this thread told you that we don't do that.  The thing that makes the most sense is to ask the people who say they do use this method exactly what "tests" they are referring to.  Why not go to the source?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterLark

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I said this on the very first response.  You came here saying that you saw/heard of other people using this method.  Overwhelmingly, the people who responded to this thread told you that we don't do that.  The thing that makes the most sense is to ask the people who say they do use this method exactly what "tests" they are referring to.  Why not go to the source?

I thought I'd wait to see more responses get posted before responding to your earlier point.

A sub here on collarme has told me that several Doms she's met here over several months have presented such tests to her. She will not tell me what the tests consisted of and I don't know who the Doms are. So the "source" won't say, whereupon I posted the question here. Many who are on collarme do not seem to frequent the message boards, and given the reaction to the question I suspect those who do would refrain from being candid about this.

I would add I like jujubee's discussion of this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterLark

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I said this on the very first response.  You came here saying that you saw/heard of other people using this method.  Overwhelmingly, the people who responded to this thread told you that we don't do that.  The thing that makes the most sense is to ask the people who say they do use this method exactly what "tests" they are referring to.  Why not go to the source?

I thought I'd wait to see more responses get posted before responding to your earlier point.

A sub here on collarme has told me that several Doms she's met here over several months have presented such tests to her. She will not tell me what the tests consisted of and I don't know who the Doms are. So the "source" won't say, whereupon I posted the question here. Many who are on collarme do not seem to frequent the message boards, and given the reaction to the question I suspect those who do would refrain from being candid about this.

I would add I like jujubee's discussion of this.

Well the Source, is being a little too secret, this leads me to believe the Source is full of shit. OR Bitching about an experience and has painted all Doms with the nasty brush.

Tests are things that are designed usually to set someone up to fail. That only those that are worthy will pass, seeing up a person up to fail, Kink or Not is NOT okay.

I think you might want to tell your source to get over it and move on.

As you can see the basic understanding on this side of the site is that Testing is not okay, but I am sure on the other side there are LOTS of tests.... some of which requite the sub to send money to Africa.

QSM

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterLark
The sub was not complaining about the tests and was not saying all Doms were doing tests, just some she had encountered here. That said, I take your point that tests set one up to eventually fail and are not a good idea to build a trusting healthy relationship, for both Dom and sub. I don't do tests and simply wondered if others were doing so and what happened.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterLark
OR...at least no one willing to tell us about their test questions and tasks....

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterLark

I periodically hear of a Master/Dom/Domme testing a new sub/slave, that there is a test with a series of questions or tasks, to determine whether the sub/slave is acceptable to continue the relationship. What is your test?

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterLark

I periodically hear of a Master/Dom/Domme testing a new sub/slave, that there is a test with a series of questions or tasks, to determine whether the sub/slave is acceptable to continue the relationship. What is your test?

MasterLark,

I'll admit that I have been tested in the past, though the individual didn't provide a series of questions. I cannot say that enthralls me, but I expect it in some regard due to my station and the nature of relationships I prefer. On the other side, I have generated a list of questions that I presented to interested prospects. I wanted to ascertain their capacity to articulate leadership and other principles coherently. It was amusing to note how often many struggled to do such. But I can't say my expectations were brimming either.

Someone mentioned discernment and I think that deserves consideration. In the beginning most reasonably sane individuals are presenting the better part of themselves. Time, experience, and comfort often bring out the less than pleasant stuff. In terms of testing, the other party may seek to create situations that allow a more natural response. I wouldn't term this overt manipulation, but I do feel it provides an interesting snapshot for both persons. There are aspects of the individual's personality that may not manifest until discord or other unpleasant moments enter the picture. In my opinion the latter gives you more to go on and offers a realistic viewpoint of what you'll encounter with the person should you move forward.

~porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterLark

I agree. When there are bumps in the road, when life blindsides one, when values collide, when tragedy strikes, and more, how one responds reveals much. Resilience and courage, for example, are an oft under-rated qualities.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

MasterLark,

I often like to see how a man responds to me when he's angry. Though I won't intentionally provoke him. But that's a biggie in my book. That's the hand I'll live by and I need to be certain that he's capable of responsible leadership. When I encounter someone that lacks the capacity for reasoning or only hears his voice that's very telling. I make note of his willingness to apologize or admit when he's made a mistake. I know opinions differ on that subject, but I'm sorry, people screw up and dominants are no different. I have a hard time respecting someone that believes he's above the mundane.

Resilience and courage are good examples of the individual's investment in the relationship. I don't believe in scaling tall buildings like Superman. I feel that people devote themselves to situations they find beneficial. I don't need to convince him or do anything to keep him by my side. He'll remain there if that is where he wishes to be.

I'd like to thank you for this thread. It's reminding me of another elsewhere. Synergy is good. I think as strange as the concept may seem to some, relationships of this nature deserve different handling. I'm giving over a lot to the other person. I'd better make sure he's capable of taking it on.

~porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterLark

I periodically hear of a Master/Dom/Domme testing a new sub/slave, that there is a test with a series of questions or tasks, to determine whether the sub/slave is acceptable to continue the relationship. All relationships involve testing and probing who the other person really is, but what I am talking about here is something of an actual list. I have no such test. What I am curious about here is: what are the actual test questions and/or tasks that some use that seem to work for them...and why do they work or why do they not work?

What is your test?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

If today was your last day on Earth and tomorrow aliens were taking you away to travel through space, how would you spend your last day on earth?