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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 10:16:55 PM

Reasonable

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Lordy..now I begin to realize exactly why so many of you GUYS are third strike artists.........

My heartfelt condolences ladies!!!!!

< Message edited by Reasonable -- 4/29/2006 10:18:27 PM >

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 10:26:56 PM

Najakcharmer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

i could reply to this in force, but it has been my experience here that, when one expresses themsleves too much on this subject, they tend to get trampled and left for dead. so i shall digress for the good of the many...even if i don't agree with this portion of the lifestyle.

Okay....so don't go to a pro domme.

I firmly believe that everyone has the right to make honest and straightforward transactions of their time and energy for money. I do not believe that prostitution should be a criminal act; women own their bodies and should therefore be allowed to rent them or charge for access if they please. I'm not gonna go there, but I respect other people's right to do so. I think that criminalizing prostitution or even considering it "immoral" is basically buying into the old male-dominated, Judeo-Christian morality that women do not own their own bodies and have no right to do with their bodies what they choose.

I'm of two minds as to whether pro domming is prostitution. Viewed and practiced one way it definitely is; viewed and practiced in a nonsexual way it can be more like therapy, and from another perspective it's a re-interpretation of the old male dominant expectation that a gentleman is supposed to take care of and support a lady. Regardless of what you think it "really" is, it is everyone's personal adult choice whether or not to engage in this transaction. There is definitely a much needed place for the pro domme in our community. There are a lot of male subs who are not ready, not willing or not capable of having a healthy two way adult relationship with a dominant woman (or any woman, really). They want to be "done" exactly to their fetish specifications, over and over again, exactly the same way each time. They don't want to treat their partners like real people, or spend a lot of time and energy making their partners happy. They just want to get "done". It is a hell of a lot more fair for them to pay for a pro domme's time and energy and skill than for them to lead a woman on who wants and needs more than they are willing or able to give in a real relationship.

Women who claim they aren't pros, but then ask for money or tribute, are being dishonest and deserve nothing but contempt. But we lifestylers should be quite thankful for the existence of pro dommes, because they are an excellent place to refer those selfish "do-me" subs whom you really can't do much else with. A man who lacks BDSM relationship skills (eg, consideration for his partner as a human being rather than a life support system for a whip) and who also lacks the desire to learn them really does need to go to a pro. He is incapable of making any other positive contribution to a dominant partner's life, or of having any other kind of positive and fair transaction in a BDSM play session. A pro session is really the only way he can have a BDSM interaction that is truly fair and beneficial to both parties involved. So, God (and Goddess) bless the pro dommes, and let's cheer'em on. They get paid to put up with shit so we don't have to.

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 10:31:12 PM

michaelGA2

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what surprises me is, as many forums there are about this subject and the number of negative posts issued against Pros, they just don't seem to be able to get the hint.

oh well, we can't all read the writing on the wall, even when the wall falls right on top of us. Go figure, huh?

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 10:35:26 PM

Reasonable

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They get the hint,micheal,do you?

The hint being,they have no time for cheapskates.

Do you go into Starbuck's, and ask for free coffee?

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 10:45:12 PM

unpantsed

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LOL!!! Wasn't aware I was swinging at your pitch. To strike out, you gotta step into the batter's box, no?

Don't cry for me, Argentina. It's not like I ever knew you...

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 10:49:51 PM

unpantsed

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But do you go into Starbucks looking to have a fun relationship with the cashier?

And do you take your boyfriend or girlfriend with cream or sugar?

Do you see now why maybe "categorization" isn't such a bad idea?

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 10:50:42 PM

Najakcharmer

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Nobody has time for a cheapskate who wants to take from you but is not willing to give anything back. Dommes who aren't pros generally want a healthy two way relationship where the sub offers them friendship, respect, love, loyalty, devotion, committment, romance, security, emotional availability, time and/or energy. A sub who is not willing to give those things to a domme but wants to get his fetish itch scratched anyway had really better be prepared to pay for his play. And there are a really shocking number of guysubs out there who have exactly this attitude. They want to "get done", their way, without giving anything back in return except "their submission:", which actually translates not to submission but to "force me to have a kinky orgasm the exact way I tell you to." That just doesn't work in the real world of relationships.

A fair transaction means that both parties have to give something and both parties should expect to get something. There are a hell of a lot of needy male subs out there who are absolutely not willing to give a a dominant partner what she wants in a real life relationship. They don't want to give anything at all. They only want to be "forced" to do the specific things that turn them on. They want to get "done" their way, and they could care less what their partner wants. And if they can't find a domme who will drop everything in her life and cater to their personal whims, they become bitter and angry and decide that all dommes are fakes or gold diggers who just want money. Certainly there are a lot of fakes and gold diggers, but there are also a lot of real people with the perfectly ordinary expectation that they want a partner who actually cares about them. If you haven't been able to attract one of the real people looking for a partner, there might just be a reason.

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 10:52:37 PM

Reasonable

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No,but I know pros real life,and what it takes.
My second girl was a switch,who had done pro work for three years before she subbed to me.

I know all about the business first hand....Do you? Or have you ever actually SEEN a pro in the flesh?

Why do you care so much about people who you'll never gat past the door with,mr sour grapes?

< Message edited by Reasonable -- 4/29/2006 10:54:58 PM >

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 10:53:12 PM

ModeratorEleven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

what surprises me is, as many forums there are about this subject and the number of negative posts issued against Pros, they just don't seem to be able to get the hint.

You appear to be the one not getting the hint. As has already been stated before, pros are just as welcome here as anyone else into the lifestyle, no matter what the handful of excessively vocal people who clearly have issues with pros might say. I don't know how that could be any clearer.

XI

_____________________________

This mod goes to eleven.

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 10:58:50 PM

unpantsed

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Yeah, I saw dozens of 'em over a period of about 15 years. Probably had at least 100 sessions over that span, give or take a few. Hard to say for sure, I never kept a tally.

Haven't done pro sessions for quite a few years now, don't have any interest in that anymore. But I had no complaints and personally liked most of the ones I saw and enjoyed most of the sessions I had with them.

So what's your question and your point--other than to try to glibly put down whoever doesn't agree with your point of view?

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 11:01:08 PM

MISTRESSGENIE

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A submissive shouldnt think that he/she is doing the mistress/master a favor by giving their servitude when it is actually the other way around . A dominants time is valuable and should be treated as such and the submissive should be happy to do whatever they need to to please their dominant . Giving a tribute is just another form of servitude and it should be expected and respected

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 11:03:12 PM

Najakcharmer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: unpantsed
And do you take your boyfriend or girlfriend with cream or sugar?

Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Also with whips and chains. Ain't it fun being a pervert? ;)

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 11:04:11 PM

MISTRESSGENIE

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P.S. Najakcharmer i loved your response it is perfectly put.

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 11:05:42 PM

unpantsed

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Reasonable
Why do you care so much about people who you'll never gat past the door with,mr sour grapes?

Why are you so defensive?

If you can't think of a rational response to what people say, does personally attacking them make you feel better?

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 11:07:57 PM

unpantsed

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LOL!!! That must be SOME cup of coffee!

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 11:12:09 PM

Reasonable

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I give up,you just seem to be here to indulge a public self-humiliation fetish (slaps self) I should know better by now.

< Message edited by Reasonable -- 4/29/2006 11:13:00 PM >

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 11:14:17 PM

unpantsed

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As long as it makes you feel better...

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 11:31:53 PM

MistressImp

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Okay after reading all this.... I'll have 1 Coffee Flavored Coffee...... double cream....double sugar..... and could I see Reasonable slap himself again???

Thankssssssss,

_____________________________

Ms Imp

Life is what you make of it, personally I'm making mine an Amusement Park with all the cool rides.

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RE: Tributes... - 4/29/2006 11:45:45 PM

unpantsed

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressImp

Okay after reading all this.... I'll have 1 Coffee Flavored Coffee...... double cream....double sugar.....

Coming right up, Mistress! And for free!

quote:

and could I see Reasonable slap himself again???

I'm sure he will. Seems like the type who does that a lot!

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RE: Tributes... - 4/30/2006 12:23:04 AM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

Nobody has time for a cheapskate who wants to take from you but is not willing to give anything back. Dommes who aren't pros generally want a healthy two way relationship where the sub offers them friendship, respect, love, loyalty, devotion, committment, romance, security, emotional availability, time and/or energy. A sub who is not willing to give those things to a domme but wants to get his fetish itch scratched anyway had really better be prepared to pay for his play. And there are a really shocking number of guysubs out there who have exactly this attitude. They want to "get done", their way, without giving anything back in return except "their submission:", which actually translates not to submission but to "force me to have a kinky orgasm the exact way I tell you to." That just doesn't work in the real world of relationships.

A fair transaction means that both parties have to give something and both parties should expect to get something. There are a hell of a lot of needy male subs out there who are absolutely not willing to give a a dominant partner what she wants in a real life relationship. They don't want to give anything at all. They only want to be "forced" to do the specific things that turn them on. They want to get "done" their way, and they could care less what their partner wants. And if they can't find a domme who will drop everything in her life and cater to their personal whims, they become bitter and angry and decide that all dommes are fakes or gold diggers who just want money. Certainly there are a lot of fakes and gold diggers, but there are also a lot of real people with the perfectly ordinary expectation that they want a partner who actually cares about them. If you haven't been able to attract one of the real people looking for a partner, there might just be a reason.

there's a HUGE difference between giving oneself to a Dominant and giving one's wallet to them. now, after a long-term, established relationship, perhaps the wallet is up for grabs. as for the sexual issue, i will put this puppy to rest (as a personal preference) i am NOT looking for a sexual relationship from any Dominant, so rest assured this is neither what i seek or offer. for me, D/s is NOT about sex.

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