WyldHrt
Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
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Back on topic (sort of), before we get modspanked. 
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Let me define polite email, since there seems to be some confusion on this point. A polite email involves reading someones profile, figuring out some common interests, and discussing them with the recipient and perhaps making a suggestion for further interaction.
Definitions of polite email vary, but ok.
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My comment is that these polite emails are now going unanswered. This reduces the utility of the site as a whole since the ability to meet like minded people for sex/romance/one night stands is diminishing. A site such as this needs a critical mass to function. Loss of that critical mass means that the site will no longer be viable.
Not everyone here is looking for sex/romance/one night stands (or necessarily looking at all), and 'polite' emails go unanswered for a number of reasons. Does said 'critical mass' include staying in touch with friends, flirting with fellow forum members, or any of the several other ways people use this site?
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There are two reasons I've heard for why polite emails are going unanswered:
1) some women are so overwhelmed that they simply can't find the time to respond.
2) some women are scared of potential responses which are threatening/aggressive.
As LP noted, you missed some; and as I noted, being 'scared' has nothing to do with it. That said, I fail to understand how women sending out a plethora of 'Thanks but no thanks' cmails will improve the utility of this site.
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N.B. I've focused on women's responses here, since it's clear that men initiate most email contacts outside forum discussion.
Dingdingding!
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Relating to these points are:
1) Spam- defined as mail unmatched to the recipient and sent out randomly. Length or content irrelevant.
2) The nonexistent suggestion to send polite responses to spam.
3) That some men may send aggressive emails if rejected.
4) That aggressive emails may be linked to rejections of men who make advances without reading profiles.
Change that one to any rejections.
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Why rudeness thrives on this site? Attempts to solve this problem have been rebuffed.
You seem to define 'rudeness' as a female not replying to whatever email you send with 'Thanks but no thanks'. I find this odd. Of course, I also find it odd that you spend 15mins to 1/2 hour (depending on which of your posts is accurate) 'crafting' an email which you know perfectly well may be filtered to the recipient's bulk folder, depending on her mail controls. My last R/L relationship from this site started when he sent me a 2 line note about something in my profile that made me laugh.
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Let me reiterate some possible steps that can be taken:
1) Limit the number of emails that can be sent to new contacts in one day.
The spam filter does this, depending on the number of reports.
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2) Provide a more visible tutorial on the tools on this site to block and delete spam and report unwelcome emails.
I'll give you that one
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3) Develop a set of community guidelines or suggestions for both men and women. I think this thread clearly shows the problem is not the sole responsibility of either women or men on this site- it's due to the lack of responsibility that anonymity brings. Focusing on men or women as root causes leads to bathos and no progress.
If you say so. That said, where will these guidelines be posted? Most of the issues are with those not on the forums, and you should know by now that a pop-up when creating an account will often be clicked and ignored.
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4) Allow users more latitude to select what types of emails they wish to receive- perhaps based on MPAA ratings. For people that like sending cock shots, this would make sure that their recipients don't mind receiving them.
You don't get it... again. Many of those who send cock shots know perfectly well that their recipients do NOT want to receive them. They get off on sending those pics.
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5) Perhaps block emails from senders who have not first read the profile of the intended recipient.
As LP noted, that would block mails from forum participants who don't perv profiles. That said, many senders do click the profile... to get to the pictures. Clicking a button does not mean that the profile was actually read.
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6) Limit emails to forum participants.
Optional setting or mandatory? If you are thinking mandatory, it's a no-go.
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Clearly the site administration has a challenging problem to solve. First- are these suggestions merely the result of an unhappy vocal minority and that the average user is content? Also-if FetLife is the competition (and from a business sense, it certainly appears this way)- then people who are happier sharing a community but are not actively seeking companionship may be happier on that site since it does not have the search features of this site. Implementing suggestions of people not actively seeking companionship might be counterproductive.
LP answered this, and I feel no need to expand on what she said.
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RE: The need to be rude?!? - 
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