RE: How many times should one make a request.

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RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/1/2010 8:01:59 AM

Posts: 1405
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Why does it gotta be cut and paste, how droll is that? Do you know that clever fellows like me can find a multitude of ways to solicit a blowjob, and make it fresh and interesting every fuckin time?

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

I could never challenge your ability to solicit a blowjob, bossman. You are the mad master of such solicitations. You're like, if solicitations were Jehovah's witnesses, you'd be the guy selling them bibles. You're the BibleSurplus.com of that whole arrangement.

Wow. I was so wrong before. You are not nearly that weak at solicitations, discount bible wholesalers have nothing on this. Listen. You're beyond mad mastery of blowjob solicitations. You're like the machine code of solicitations. Wait. No, you're like if all the 1's and 0's of solicitations got together and mugged Death and stole his cowl, and made a Matrix-style Death puppet... of solicitations!

You are that badass.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 11/1/2010 8:03:51 AM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to DMFParadox)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/1/2010 8:11:20 AM

Posts: 32566
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quote:

The pattern typically goes where some men will write nastygrams to get a response - any response. A thorough bitching out is better than silence, for them; it's closure.

This isn't necessarily true. If you're talking about initial contacts (the first time a person writes an email to another) nasty grams are relatively low. It does happen, but it's much more likely for a person to send something negative after they have been received some form of rejection.

quote:

To the op: go offline. But if you really must contact women online, here's the best way I've found.

Write a nice letter, but don't spend too much time on it. Expect to be ignored.

The first part that I highlighted, I agree with wholeheartedly. Your chances of meeting someone are much better in the physical world. In addition, you get to completely avoid the whole climate that has been crated which many of these comments from women are based on.

The second part that I highlighted I also agree with, but for various reasons. Not just the interactions between men and women here, but there are also other factors in play. A few of those include dead profiles, fake profiles, people who found what they are looking for without updating or removing the profiles, and the list goes on.

quote:

Use form email. Go ahead. Just keep each email to a single person distinct from other emails you've sent them.

You missed the mark here and it's bad advice. Form letters, if reported, will flag the sender for spam and result in losing the privilege of sending mail at all. Here's what the site says:

Why am I temporarily blocked from sending messages by the spam filter?
Our spam filter monitors the onsite messages you send to other users and will be activated if it determines that you're sending out a large number of generic messages. To prevent the filter from activating we recommend that you take the time to read the profiles of the other users on the site and send a personalized message to those that interest you. This is also a great way to get good responses back.

quote:

The women on here will probably get all over my case for increasing the email from unwanted suitors, but hey, they are not working for your best interests. They're working for theirs, and that's fair; just keep it in perspective. I'm telling you what worked for me.

I'm glad you point out that it is fair that we are doing what is in our own best interest. That's not something that everyone will do. So far, nobody has been able to give Me a worthwhile argument where My benefits increase if I change the way I handle unwanted email. The position of 'it's nice' or 'it will make the person who wrote feel better' just don't translate into positives for Me.

I'm not going to get on your case for your opinion. I'm not thrilled that you would recommend hounding someone through email multiple times, but the block option is available if someone doesn't want to receive another email. As I've said many times, it's 100% effective in preventing being contacted again.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/1/2010 8:11:55 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

The women on here will probably get all over my case for increasing the email from unwanted suitors

Not me-if you weren't blocked after the first memo I can promise you that you would be after the second*-no skin off my back.

*unless you were extremely local and I was worried I'd have to run into you at events

Surprising how few women actually did this.

Guess I flew under their radar or something.

Or I'm just so damned original that even my copypasta is deep-fried gold, but who's to say?

Edited to add: though I want to point out again that I always customized. It's just that a good template makes things so much easier.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 11/1/2010 8:14:19 AM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/1/2010 11:05:56 AM

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Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox
As an experiment, I've tried nastygrams. Different kinds of women are attracted to it. And sadly, I do get more overall responses, and I'm able to spin about 20% of those into "But I'm actually a cool guy."

[long description of game playing and social manipulation redacted]

When you get a response, break out the tailor made stuff. Until then, be smart, don't waste your time re-inventing the hello.

So you see human communication for the purpose of forming intimate relationships as a manipulation game where you are playing the odds, seeking to maximize the number of respondents by presenting yourself in what is essentially a calculatedly deceptive fashion?

How's that working for you? Not in the sense of getting short term responses; you've already stated that you are so successful at playing and manipulating women that you're drowning in pussy. I mean in the sense of how do you actually feel about life in general, about yourself, your personal integrity, and your ability to sustain a long term loving relationship with someone you genuinely like and respect enough to share your life and your real self with?

_____________________________

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(in reply to DMFParadox)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/1/2010 1:40:33 PM

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Those might not be important things to him LnT.

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RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/2/2010 3:02:39 AM

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Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

. . . . forming intimate relationships as a manipulation game . . . .

How is that psychologically possible? Getting intimate requires being honest; manipulating requires being dishonest. Or perhaps I'm being an epicurean tardis again.

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RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/2/2010 5:33:30 AM

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LadyNTrainer

In regards to your comment towards me. You see, there is a lot of bigotry towards male sexuality that I see far too often around here. A man simply expressing what he likes sexually is considered by you and a lot of people as someone who is waggling tongues with their cock in their hand. They are practically someone who is evil until proven otherwise,

There is a difference between cyber than there is for a man to simply express “this is the kinky scenarios I seek”. If she likes this, lets move on to the next step. A male sub is entitled to have a selection criteria to. He is not entitled to play these fantasies with any woman he wants, he is just entitled to wish these fantasies and make it a big priority for the woman he meets. And this is where the “do me sub” crap comes into it.

My point in the post you quoted is not about the male being demanding or pushy, its about the male having the right to express what he wants in BDSM terms straight up instead of wasting his and hers time and finding out later down the track that there is little or no compatibility in BDSM terms. As you ladies get many emails, I would think to narrow down the time wasting and getting straight to the point would be ideal.

Yes, a man would be expected to introduce himself as a person to, but as this is the BDSM scene and these types of sites are focused mainly on BDSM, you have to expect the first email to be revolved around that particular interest to see if there is a kinky match before going further. Kinky relationships are a lot more complicated than vanilla relationships.

Another problem is that it seems more acceptable for a domme to expect a man to kiss her ass or suck up within the first email as its BDSM dynamics. Yet a man is seen different to express his sexual kinky needs straight up to find out if he should go further or move on in his search.

(in reply to DMFParadox)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/2/2010 6:00:32 AM

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sunshinemiss

quote:

Whether you like it or not, women have a different way of thinking than men do (generally speaking, ymmv)

Correct. So does that mean male doms should be demanding in the first email about their sexual needs towards female subs or else female subs are wrong?...as males and females are different and all. But I see many female subs around this scene complaining about male doms only wanting easy women for their sexual needs. They are not labelled as "do me subs" Why is the female way right but the male way is wrong? No way is right, we are simply different. But there is this thing called political correctness that stops that logic being raised to question.

(in reply to DMFParadox)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/2/2010 6:13:26 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

Thing is, Wyld, I have a feeling that the ones who think it's rude not to reply are almost certainly not the ones who'd conceive of sending rude messages.
I keep coming back to the same hunch, here: that one sort of man doesn't get that another sort of man exists.

I was replying to Icarys, luv, someone who I know has had at least a little taste of what it is like for women here.

That said, the men who complain here on the boards about women being 'rude' when we don't reply to cmails invariably get an earful of why some of us don't, and many of the latest have gotten a link to the previous trainwreck in all it's glory. They can choose to disbelieve what has been said, but can't claim ignorance in the face of so many posts and threads on this subject.

Let me explain something to you that I think you and many others fail to grasp.
I knew long before that women get nasty emails and I knew that they also received a lot of email in general. Now I didn't know first hand how much but I did have some idea...not only because I have female friends that would talk about it but also because it makes sense to me.

Saying that...I still say it's rude not to answer emails...I know this is hard for you to understand but my ideas of right and wrong don't and shouldn't change because a new variable is introduced. That variable may help me to understand another's issues but it doesn't negate anything by doing so.

It is still seen by a large group of the population I would bet as rude much the same way as ignoring some person saying hello to you on the streets would be.

Again your welcome to believe what you want on this and of course keep doing what you do but it isn't part of helping the problem but adding to it. I think it's a possibility that some of these nastygrams have come out of pure spite and I also think some have come from reactionary feelings to being let down or ignored.

Now if your going to go with the tired ole excuse of "Well you don't answer your junk mail" (as in postal mail) or something along that line...No I don't because I know it's junk although I do usually read it.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
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(in reply to WyldHrt)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/2/2010 6:29:49 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

sunshinemiss

quote:

Whether you like it or not, women have a different way of thinking than men do (generally speaking, ymmv)
Correct. So does that mean male doms should be demanding in the first email about their sexual needs towards female subs or else female subs are wrong?...as males and females are different and all. But I see many female subs around this scene complaining about male doms only wanting easy women for their sexual needs. They are not labelled as "do me subs" Why is the female way right but the male way is wrong? No way is right, we are simply different. But there is this thing called political correctness that stops that logic being raised to question.

Dude, seriously, what I'm saying is that the male approach that was noted (you know... putting sex in big orange neon lights) doesn't work with real life women (gsymmv). I didn't say that either way was right or wrong. I simply asked how that was working. From the women's perspective, it doesn't work. If somebody wants to beat his head against a wall and call other people names (as in bitches), I'm fine with that. Does not change things. We women will still wait for men who have more than just the mentality of a 16 year old boy. The men can commiserate at the club while they drop dollars down a stripper's g-string. No skin off my nose.

Another point you brought up, if I'm reading you correctly is that you are saying that d-type men should be calling the gals "do me" subs if they (the women) expect a relationship instead of just wham bam thank you slut. I think that's your point. I'm happy to address it. If you think women are not called "do me" subs for any one of a million reasons, you sure haven't been around much. Seriously. Over and over we hear that. Check out a few of the older threads. Heck there are a couple of threads *right now* that the women are getting crap from idjits because they want to be GOOD MOTHERS and are being considered bad subs. Yeah. Your argument is a bust.

And political correctness? I'm talking about effective technique. Not much in wiitwd is politically correct.

best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to naughtynick81)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/2/2010 6:33:45 AM

Posts: 5757
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quote:

Dude, seriously, what I'm saying is that the male approach that was noted (you know... putting sex in big orange neon lights) doesn't work with real life women (gsymmv). I didn't say that either way was right or wrong.

Actually you did just say it was wrong..maybe not outright but that is essentially what your words meant.

It does work with real life women..Plenty of people I'm sure can contest to it.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/2/2010 6:49:05 AM

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Joined: 3/23/2007
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quote:

From the women's perspective, it doesn't work

It’s basically saying, I have the pussy power so you play by my rules.

Women should not be the dictators of the rules when courting or else it would be a hypocritical stance to the criticism of a troglodyte

quote:

We women will still wait for men who have more than just the mentality of a 16 year old boy

Wow a man simply having strong sexual desires is labelled as this. The bigotry!

quote:

Another point you brought up, if I'm reading you correctly is that you are saying that d-type men should be calling the gals "do me" subs if they (the women) expect a relationship instead of just wham bam thank you slut. I think that's your point

Nope, not my point. If dommes want men to kiss ass when obeying their ways of domination to prove worthiness in an early stage, male doms should be allowed to in what ever way they want.

quote:

Heck there are a couple of threads *right now* that the women are getting crap from idjits because they want to be GOOD MOTHERS and are being considered bad subs. Yeah. Your argument is a bust.

Single fathers would most probably get deemed the same level of unworthiness from dommes in them particular terms you are directly on.

quote:

And political correctness? I'm talking about effective technique. Not much in wiitwd is politically correct.

Effective technique? heh only when it seems to be the typical female approach. Is the typical male approach to sexuality ever right?

I am not saying male approach nor female approach is right. We are just simply different. The problem is that many women expect men to simply be and think like women

(in reply to Icarys)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/2/2010 8:18:33 AM

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That's what you got out of my post? Wow. Either I didn't express myself very well, you twisted what I said, or some combination of both.

No matter.

Good luck in your search.

Best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to naughtynick81)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/2/2010 8:45:03 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

Dude, seriously, what I'm saying is that the male approach that was noted (you know... putting sex in big orange neon lights) doesn't work with real life women (gsymmv). I didn't say that either way was right or wrong.

Actually you did just say it was wrong..maybe not outright but that is essentially what your words meant.

It does work with real life women..Plenty of people I'm sure can contest to it.

Icarys,
I have re-read what I've written and can't find anywhere that I gave a judgment about what he said. I merely highlighted what other folks have said and asked how his approach was working. That would be reality testing not judgment.

The original question from the OP was asking if ladies would give him a second chance after a first rejection type email. The response was that they won't even read it. Now, call me silly, but if I want someone to answer a question for / letter from me, I think it would behoove me to first get heard. *I'm quirky like that.* This nick fellow is advocating a method that the women have said several times will not get the person heard.

best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Icarys)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/2/2010 9:01:32 AM

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I love it when men come to set us straight. Then keep doing it over and over and over... keeping the topic going trying to prove their point.

So because men are behaving badly in our email, we women are partly to blame because these poor fellows have been ignored, neglected and treated rudely? lol I take care of my own mental health and happiness. No one else has a part in that. It may be time for the demanding fellows that stomp when angry, to get a life.

Stop trying to say we should be nice no matter what so we can be a part of a solution. Your solution means some pretty shitty things to women and many of us don't agree.

Now if you are going to be seeking all this attention all the time... could you do something entertaining?

< Message edited by Lockit -- 11/2/2010 9:03:57 AM >

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RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/2/2010 9:04:19 AM

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
Let me explain something to you that I think you and many others fail to grasp.
I knew long before that women get nasty emails and I knew that they also received a lot of email in general. Now I didn't know first hand how much but I did have some idea...not only because I have female friends that would talk about it but also because it makes sense to me.

Saying that...I still say it's rude not to answer emails...I know this is hard for you to understand but my ideas of right and wrong don't and shouldn't change because a new variable is introduced. That variable may help me to understand another's issues but it doesn't negate anything by doing so.

It is still seen by a large group of the population I would bet as rude much the same way as ignoring some person saying hello to you on the streets would be.

Again your welcome to believe what you want on this and of course keep doing what you do but it isn't part of helping the problem but adding to it. I think it's a possibility that some of these nastygrams have come out of pure spite and I also think some have come from reactionary feelings to being let down or ignored.

Now if your going to go with the tired ole excuse of "Well you don't answer your junk mail" (as in postal mail) or something along that line...No I don't because I know it's junk although I do usually read it.

OK, but that still means that you only read it, but don't answer it. How large is the issue of the deleted unread category? Some of the males will have to step up and answer that one, because I really don't know what the percentages are on the subject. Has the hover feature made the deleted unread messages rise?

The concepts that you have on right and wrong are softer for one side of this than another. It comes across that it's ok when men don't read profiles because they are over eager to find someone and write the emails even though they don't match what the person said in the profile. Yet it's wrong when the woman who says local only doesn't write back to the guy in New York or Bulgaria. Have you written back all of the Nigerians over the years?

I can't speak for anybody else, but I'm not responsible for how people handle their feelings of rejection. What's the next suggestion? Don't reject anyone so they won't feel bad?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Icarys)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/2/2010 9:34:12 AM

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quote:

I love it when men come to set us straight. Then keep doing it over and over and over... keeping the topic going trying to prove their point.

Laughter can be pointed at women who expect such a spectacular email that will make them scream with excitement and yet, they are incapable in doing any such approach to the same standard in the same way towards men.

Their typical email approach towards men would be the exact ones they reject men for. Something simplistic and ordinary.

Sheesh when will these spoilt brats ever learn

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/2/2010 10:34:43 AM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

As a few people on this thread can attest, I actually tend to write the very kinds of emails that I recommend that other people write. A few sentences that connect to the person in some way. One of those are usually a question regarding something that I know they want to talk about. Just a good opening for two way communication.

I'm sure that you'll suppose that I get a better response because I'm female, but I don't believe that is the case. There are males on the site on both sides of the kneel that do better than others in the percentages of emails that they receive a response. They have a greater success rate. If I were male, I know exactly who I would be writing to for advice on the matter because they are doing something right, and it's not ass kissing.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to naughtynick81)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/2/2010 10:55:43 AM

Posts: 5757
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quote:

OK, but that still means that you only read it, but don't answer it. How large is the issue of the deleted unread category? Some of the males will have to step up and answer that one, because I really don't know what the percentages are on the subject. Has the hover feature made the deleted unread messages rise?

There's really no way of knowing and even if a few stepped up with the same conclusion, your result would be worthless. Just not enough to know for sure.

quote:

The concepts that you have on right and wrong are softer for one side of this than another. It comes across that it's ok when men don't read profiles because they are over eager to find someone and write the emails even though they don't match what the person said in the profile. Yet it's wrong when the woman who says local only doesn't write back to the guy in New York or Bulgaria. Have you written back all of the Nigerians over the years?

I think I made it clear that it wasn't okay..All I said was there are more possibilities than most are willing to hear because they have prejudices against a certain outcome.

And yes I have answered a really large majority of the Nigerian ones even though I also said earlier that bringing up an argument on the worst case scenarios that I think the majority would agree are strictly solicitations for some sort of trickery..well is a tad useless.

quote:

I can't speak for anybody else, but I'm not responsible for how people handle their feelings of rejection. What's the next suggestion? Don't reject anyone so they won't feel bad?

I'm not saying you are responsible but that doesn't mean we should be flippant about another human being either right?

The last part is a little silly and it reeks of baiting.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 11/2/2010 10:56:45 AM

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
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quote:

Let me explain something to you that I think you and many others fail to grasp.

Icarys, after reading your opinion for 22 pages in the other thread, I most certainly know what you think. I also grasp the fact that you ignored my post to you, and instead replied to what I said to Peon. Instant replay:

quote:

quote:

Really all of this was to help the women who are complaining about all the nasty emails they get...if it helps by indirect routes(As in an auto-responder that you that you can customize with a thoughtful let down of your own)..Why does it matter unless it's tied to an ego in some way?

Unless the auto responder also auto blocks the person being replied to, how does it help with the nasty emails, Icarys? As Tantriqu's post shows, it doesn't help at all. Even if it were customizable, and we were thoughtful as all get out, we would still get nastygrams in reply. As LP said, it was put there to encourage women to reply to men they are not interested in, because men keep complaining about how rude it is not to reply.

I have to get back to work right now, but I just spotted a post that bears on this discussion, so I will leave you with it:
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3457496
Please note that the poster used one of the reply buttons in an attempt to be polite, and what she got in return.

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
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(in reply to Icarys)

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