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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:06:15 PM   
MistressRosalyn


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So OP, are you still with us?
As you can see, what it takes to be a  Pro Domme is an amazing ability to read minds and to be aware of ALL of the issues and how everyone feels about them, and then choosing the correct path.

Be aware that it is a path fraught with danger, there are rather nasty trolls waiting under the bridge, and of course Tim waits to put your knowledge to the ultimate test...answer correctly and you may pass, answer incorrectly and you will fly into oblivion.

Oh, and when going out to dinner? If your date pays for the meal, it's a courteous gesture to pay the tip, that way you can make sure that the poor, overworked wait person will get a proper tip, not the measly 10% your date was going to leave.

*Hides and waits for the thread about tipping to start*




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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:07:37 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

Do you like my attention VC?

You seem not to understand the meaning of the word 'diatribe'. I wasn't aware you were paying any attention to me at all.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:13:39 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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OMG MsR!! Did you read my MIND???

If service was good, it's 15-20%. Ya hear me, guys?? If you want to take up a table for twice the length of a normal meal, definitely 20%!!

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:14:49 PM   
naughtynick81


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I perfectly understand the word VC. You just seem to mention me out of the blue as it seemed that you were poking a stick at me

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:21:38 PM   
naughtynick81


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quote:

Nick, you were an ass to VC on Fet, and look where it got you. Just stuff a sock in it and see if someone will buy you a drink in real life.


I will promise to shut up if a domme agrees to buy me a lobster for dinner.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:26:22 PM   
ElanSubdued


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WyldHrt,

quote:

WyldHrt to DMFParadox:
This approach probably would have worked on me... when I was 20 or so.  After years of meeting guys who use this 'surefire' technique, I spot the game playing straight off and just walk away.

The man who currently holds my interest, and has for quite some time, broke every 'rule' that has been posted here. While we flirted in the beginning (and still do, every chance we get), he made it clear from the get go that he was interested in me, and said right off that I could always talk to him about anything. Devious man that he is, he has gotten into my head a way few in my life ever have by listening and caring. He has always been my friend and has seen me through a ton of crap. He is mannerly and has no problem courting a lady that interests him. He's my friend, I love him.... and just hearing his voice gets me hot, to boot.


Hey, the later paragraph is very nice to read.  Yay you!  Well, actually, yay for both of you!

quote:

WyldHrt to DMFParadox:
Sorry, swing and a miss.  I find it rather amusing that you think there is some universal pattern to relationships between people, and seem to assume that all women are cookie cutouts that biologically react the same way to 'the approach'.  The fact that you assume all women can be had with some variation of 'the approach' just makes me ill, as some of us have no interest in playing games.  It is also revealing that you refer to women as 'girls' when discussing such techniques.


Read my last post to DMF.  Despite the kneejerk components (for example, defining lying as an essential survival skill), DFM initially had me considering his techniques from a sociological, psychological, and paradoxical stance.  Upon reading more, I'm not finding much profound meaning or contradictory truth.

On the positive side, while these gambits are designed not to be spotted, they are still exceedingly transparent and are thus easy to identify and to avoid.  Those with experience on the receiving end do just that.  Effectively, this limits the effectiveness to a specific demographic, which is perhaps why DFM uses the term "girls" instead of "women".  (Yeah, yeah.  I saw the "fewer letters" reply.  Possibly a gambit to prove authenticity?  That's the problem with using techniques like this.  Nobody can trust what you say.)

I have faith that adults will behave like adults.  If a woman introduces herself and then spends her time talking with other people, that's where I assume her interest is.  My reaction will likely be to join the conversation on a perfunctory level or to focus my attention elsewhere.  It's possible a woman may feel too shy to talk with me.  If I'm in a group of mutual friends, we all look out for one another so in short order I'll know of her interest and, if I'm interested too, I'll solve the problem by going over to talk with her.  The fact she is feeling shy is likely to *attract* my attention because that's very human and endearing.  I've been in plenty of situations where I'm the person feeling shy, but I navigate around this.  It's always good to remind oneself "you miss one hundred percent of the opportunities you don't take".  Conversely, this doesn't mean one should take very opportunity presented. :-)

Elan.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:26:38 PM   
Twoshoes


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DMFParadox, congratulations on having found a way to emulate unpredictability with a logical mindset. With a set of rules even. Personally, I disregard rules. I don't need to convince people I'm unpredictable. It's fairly obvious.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:28:36 PM   
strangedesire


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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

I will promise to shut up if a domme agrees to buy me a lobster for dinner.



Just like women, you have to offer something of value of you want people to give you free stuff. Why do you insist that you're better than them?


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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:33:59 PM   
MistressRosalyn


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You are quite welcome LH, I figured it needed mentioning! That and a nod to the OP, who probably ran away frightened long ago.
Yes, any time I take up a table in a restaurant for longer than normal, and cause the waitperson to lose out on another tip, I make sure to tip them well. I don't even insist that they have a golden pussy or a golden dick before I do so!

I was just invited to dinner a couple of months ago here in my town by someone I had been kind enough to act as a tour guide for. As usual, I offered to pay the tip. He declined my offer, and I watched in horror as he left $2 for a $25 tab, then he kept ordering beers and failed to leave a tip any of those times. After I dumped him at his hotel, I went back to the restaurant to confirm what I thought I had seen.

The waitress is an acquaintance of mine, and she confirmed what I saw, so I gave her a fiver to make up for the chintzy SOB. He never understood why I refused to go to the next level and go on a REAL date with him. Oh, and this was a vanilla situation.


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I have 20 Fluffy Points and you don't!

I went to the Dark Side...now where are the cookies?

When did my life become a Jerry Springer/Jeremy Kyle episode?

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:34:04 PM   
DMFParadox


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

To clarify one point: I got the impression that DMF would consider "results" to be "scoring tonight."  When I referred to results, I meant, "Making a friend I will still be close to in twenty years, even if we're not seeing each other naked then."

Beyond that, we don't have to look any further than these message boards to see how irrationally women behave about men (and vice versa).



See, no.

What works for 'scoring' dates and sex also works in building friendships. The reverse is not true; you can do many things to build friendship that will not make you more sexually attractive, and a few things will make you less attractive.

I tend to flirt outrageously with my female friends, but I don't talk to all of them just to keep a harem. Some of them I just like as friends. Some of them I tried for more, and failed. Others, I did date. Some I broke up with. Some broke up with me.

If I want to get 3 or 4 girls together for a movie, it's a moment's work. If I want to share my joy or misery, I've got enough women and men as friends to keep me level. What's key is that I also have the ability to make a few calls and have sex with a hot chick pretty much whenever convenient. If you say that's a bad thing, then... I have to agree. It's terrible. Never be like me, Red. I'm incorrigible, and a blight on society. I'll just have to drown my misery somehow.


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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:35:15 PM   
angelikaJ


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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

quote:

Nick, you were an ass to VC on Fet, and look where it got you. Just stuff a sock in it and see if someone will buy you a drink in real life.


I will promise to shut up if a domme agrees to buy me a lobster for dinner.



Nick,

For anyone to want to treat you to anything would mean they would actually think that you would be good company ... or be unintentionally amusing.

I really struggle with the first scenario.

Back to the OP:
You have to have a sense of humor.



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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:36:59 PM   
DMFParadox


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

DMFParadox, congratulations on having found a way to emulate unpredictability with a logical mindset. With a set of rules even. Personally, I disregard rules. I don't need to convince people I'm unpredictable. It's fairly obvious.


You know, I could be justifying already existing behavior with a convenient model.

And you could be suggesting through inference that I'm doing exactly that.

I hear Eddie Murphy dressed like an old Jew in the background going, "Aha! You meshuggenehs..."


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bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:40:51 PM   
naughtynick81


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strangedesire

Where did I ever insist that I am better than dommes?

angelikaJ

I don't have to be good company. Just give me the lobster and I will shut up



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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:44:12 PM   
VideoAdminTheta


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Please refrain from discussing moderation on other sites. This thread is taking a personal direction once again and it must stop. The topic has been all over the place and for the moment we won't focus on that, as things can drift, but let's try to keep it close to the topic.

Thank you

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:48:43 PM   
DMFParadox


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I'd also like to point out that I'm using derogatory language of attraction for a reason; for example, instead of saying 'lying and manipulative', I could highlight how being able to tell a good story and have a vivid imagination are important. The latter would be difficult to disagree with, but I don't want agreement; I want to disturb applecarts and destroy mental blinders, and get people thinking. Pissing all over some people's comfortable assumptions is a faster way to do that. Of course, the downside is that defensive people tend to get tunnel vision, but afterwards I find them sometimes making my own arguments - that they so viciously defended against - back at me. I sometimes want to cry and hug them at that point. But no; because for every veil torn off, there are two more that form in its place, even for me...

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:50:09 PM   
RedMagic1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox
Never be like me, Red. I'm incorrigible, and a blight on society. I'll just have to drown my misery somehow.

When you first started posting, I thought you were a major jackass, not least because you asked about the historical difference between Java and C++, I told you, based on comments from the language designers, and you said I was wrong, based only on your own thoughts.

Now, though, I think I am beginning to "get" you, and I don't think you dislike women any more than you dislike men, probably including yourself.  So here's a "way out" that might cheer you up a bit.

I think the problem you have noticed with women and attraction is economically and culturally localized to middle (and upper) class women who grew up in the Reagan 80s and the irrationally exuberant 90s.  They internalized the lie that to be romantically successful, they had to obtain the trophy husband.  My friend who bought the convertible even told me, "In my 20s, a doctor or lawyer wasn't good enough for me.  I needed a politician or a captain of industry."  Lo and behold, she got a divorce, and is finally realizing what less petit bourgeois women have known all along: a friend who will have your back is worth much more than money or status.

I believe women under the age of 30 have a much better sense of priorities in a mate than women aged 30-40 in the US.  I've seen it again and again.  As layoffs and foreclosures continue, and more people feel less privileged, it'll be easier to see which men have real strength of character, and which only looked good because they could afford a suit.

I hope the next few years allow you to see the beauty in people.


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:54:42 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminTheta

Please refrain from discussing moderation on other sites. This thread is taking a personal direction once again and it must stop. The topic has been all over the place and for the moment we won't focus on that, as things can drift, but let's try to keep it close to the topic.

Thank you


Mm.

Well, paying clients make a Pro Domme. That's pretty much the essence. Equipment and space can only help.


_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 6:56:29 PM   
SorceressJ


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I just wanted to say that whether or not I agree with the letter of them, the last two (longer) posts were amazingly astute..

< Message edited by SorceressJ -- 10/26/2010 6:57:05 PM >


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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 7:09:33 PM   
naughtynick81


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I came into my favourite restaurant last night and sat at my normal table. Next thing I spot this sexy domme who I have seen in this site sitting at a nearby table. She was alone and by the looks of it, she was wanting some sympathy. Probably because something happened in her life that depressed her… like losing a loved one or something.

I called the waiter over and told him to take the very best and most expensive wine they had over to her table and tell her it’s a present from me. This is the first time I have ever bought a domme a drink. wow. Anyway I paid him extra tip for allowing me to spit a golly in it before sending it over.

So, the waiter takes the wine over to her table and says, “This is from that handsome fellow Naughtynick over there.”

She seemed somewhat surprised and gave me a smile after she sipped the wine with my golly stuck between her teeth. She then decides to send me a note. She gives it to the waiter and tells him to take it over to my table.

The note says: For me to take you on for play, you must now buy me a meal which will be a lobster.

After reading the note, I shook my head in disgrace and decided to send her one in response. The note read: How about a 2 dollar cheese burger from cackdonalds ?

When I watched her read my response, she scrunched up the paper and started crying. I felt kinda sorry for her and walked over and started patting her back. She then pulled out a paddle from her handbag and started flogging me with it.

Does this mean I scored?



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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 7:15:22 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
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Nick and Everyone,

quote:

naughtynick81:
I don't have to be good company. Just give me the lobster and I will shut up.


Actually, this is starting to look very attractive.  I vote we all chip in and find a way to get Nick his lobster. :-)

To Nick:  Actually, you don't even have to shut up.  You just have to stop venting about women.  In fact, if you join the conversations and show some empathy for people every once in a while, you may find you make some friendships.  Some of the dominant women you've characterized as "evil" are actually lovely people.  You get the reactions you do because of how you approach.  Drop the "anti-women, women all feel they are entitled, life is unfair" diatribe and engage more positively.  If you do this, I guarantee you'll have a very different experience on this site.  Spread goodwill and kindness instead of negativity.

Peon noted that some of your concerns have validity.  I agree.  However, you express your concerns so frequently and in such extremist way that nobody can support you or debate the issues.  And, try thinking about the other gender's side.  How do you suppose you'd feel, as a woman, not being able to walk past a construction site without enduring "hey baby, show me your tits!"  Life isn't fair and sometimes you just have to let negatives pass by because they don't represent everybody you'll meet.

Elan.

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